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Meaning Of Pride
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When Chichi dies, Goku is left alone. He does not mourn or feel upset..he just wants to train with Vegeta, and know more about his Saiyan heritage.
As he knows more and Vegeta spends more time with him, what he wants from the prince becomes more prominent.
Not everyone agrees with their relationship...especially Gohan.
Art Source: https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=62909679
As he knows more and Vegeta spends more time with him, what he wants from the prince becomes more prominent.
Not everyone agrees with their relationship...especially Gohan.
Art Source: https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=62909679
Deathfic
01 Meaning Of Pride
Crushing the earring had been his way of informing the thick-headed one that all that bullshit he had fed him about the death of their past, and the needing to create a new definition of their race was exactly that: Bullshit. He didn't owe that baka anything. Other than an ass-kicking for holding back and letting himself get defeated by Vegeta when it became so painfully obvious that that was not what would have happened if Kakarot had been using his full potential. And as Vegeta thought about it (after they finally defeated the ugly pink thing) he wasn't sure if he was more pissed that he thought he had defeated Kakarot only to find out that he had been allowed to win, or that the idiot had actually allowed himself to be beaten. No true Saiyan ever allowed himself to be defeated. It was the very anti-thesis of what they were. But he knew that somewhere in that thick-sickeningly happy head of the overgrown earth-raised idiot, Kakarot knew it too. Knew that he had allowed himself to be defeated and while he always stood up after he got knocked down, gave Vegeta that look that was both a reproach and a strange sort of apology, Vegeta was certain Kakarot had not wanted to be defeated. Because he never remained second best. Ever.
Which brought them back to Vegeta. Who was second best. Who was the Prince of a race that was either extinct or so spread out over the innumerous planets that its chance of coming together again in time for him to take his throne as King was incalculably slim. Kakarot had told him that the way of life Vegeta was trying to uphold, that his position as Prince was null and void. Because there was nobody over whom he ruled. Of course, Vegeta could continue to fool himself into believing that he honestly ruled Kakarot, but he knew that was not the truth. The idiot was a force unto himself that was uncontrollable. Not even the woman that bitched and shouted and claimed to be his wife really had any control there. Not the sons that looked like their father and fought like their father. Not the enemies that always came and tried to defeat Kakarot.
Nobody had ever controlled that idiot and nobody ever would.
Which, again, brought them straight back to Vegeta. Who had been subjected to years serving in Freiza's deranged army. Who had watched the destruction of everything he had been promised at birth. His life was torn away from him and what he was handed was a mockery. He was the Prince of nothing. The Almighty Vegeta that couldn't defeat a third-rate. He could hear his father laughing, somewhere, and it rankled him. Annoyed the hell out of him. Pissed him off.
But he had fused with the idiot anyway. To save this planet. To save his son. To save the woman that he had decided to be with. And being a part of that uncontrolled force drove the point home to him in a painful way. Because Kakarot was so much more inside than he ever projected outside. That happiness was not feigned. It was real. There was a well of goodness inside of him that would never dry up, and within that, and all around that, Kakarot was Saiyan. A warrior.
Disgusting.
When they broke apart, he had crushed the earring. Because he couldn't stand the idea of having to be trapped inside of that goodness, to become the subservient personality the way he had become the second best. He felt the anger roll off Kakarot and heard him mutter his little annoyance and crush the earring. He didn't care. He wasn't going to be a part of that moron again. He was himself. He was Vegeta.
The Prince of a dead race. The second best.
When it was over, when he had his son and his woman back. He was forced to think to himself if it was worth it. What would have happened if he was stuck with Kakarot still. What a difference it would have made. If he would be stronger than he was now. And at the same time, he told himself he was being an idiot. That the fusion had damaged part of his brain. That something had been left behind of the moron's and it wasn't leaving.
Then the woman--Bulma--she had kissed him, and hugged him and asked him if he had fused with Kakarot to save her or to become stronger. He never answered her, listened to her whine about how she was just curious, that there was no wrong answer. And he thought that yes, there was a wrong answer. They were both wrong answers.
He had fused with Kakarot because he was weak. He had allowed himself to be swayed by the emotions the other Saiyan felt so potently. Allowed words to supercede his judgment, and every day since, he felt sick to know that he had allowed it to happen. That he had somehow let down Saiyan pride.
Kakarot stayed away. But Vegeta could feel him out there. Doing whatever it was that he always did. Training with the earthlings. Staying with his woman. Raising the brat. Now the brat he saw a lot of, because his son and Kakarot's whelp were always together. He watched the little one and thought of his father. Wondered if the brat was going to get stronger than Trunks one day. The whelp was good-natured like his father, but just because Kakarot smiled all the time and laughed and loved everything that he ever came in contact with didn't mean he would fight to the death if the chance arose.
A year passed. And then another. His woman finally pointed out that he seemed to be entirely preoccupied, and while 'yes, Saiyans do have long lifespans, that doesn't mean he needed to waste years brooding.'
He brushed it off.
She persisted: "You know," she said, "I talked to Chichi the other day and I was thinking that maybe it would be nice to see Goku and her again."
He didn't say anything. If the woman wanted to see them, then she could invite them over to her house. He didn't care, and he didn't have to be there just because she invited them. And if he was, that didn't mean he needed to speak with the moron or even care about his continued existence.
~~~****
Goku didn't get nervous. He also never showed up to things on time. So when Chichi told him they were supposed to go to Bulma's (for the first time in two years.) He nodded his acceptance of this thought and promised her that he would try very hard not to mess up and be late again. She just sighed, told him that he had better not. (Of course she said this with much less venom and vigor than she normally would have.) And it was left like that.
Which is why he was hurrying to get there, and realized that he was late all the same. Thought of what Vegeta would be like after these two years. Hopefully he wasn't still holding a grudge about the whole fusion thing. Because honestly, it had been the only idea at the time. And it would have worked if the stubborn Prince hadn't broken the earring. Not that it really mattered anymore, because in the end they prevailed, the day was saved and everyone was restored to full life. No harm done.
Yet, when he touched down outside and smelled the absolutely delicious food that was being barbequed, he realized that there was no harm done to him. He didn't really hold onto things otherwise he would have gone insane years and years ago. But Vegeta didn't look particularly pleased to see him. He just chuckled nervously and said:
"Hey guys! It's been a long time." Hugged Bulma and listened to her rattle on about how it has been entirely too long.
They stood a decent ways away from Vegeta, who was leaning against the house with his arms crossed over his chest. And she confided in him that the Prince had been overly preoccupied these past two years and he was already hard enough to love, she didn't need any additional challenges. He scratched the back of his head and wondered just what he was supposed to do about it as she pushed him toward the grumpy one.
She had to be thinking there was some sort of companionship born of their mutual heritage, and while Goku liked Vegeta and thought that he was mostly a decent person; the Prince had worked pretty hard at letting Goku know that just because they were both Saiyans, they were not friends. If anything, the Prince was the ruler and Goku should get down on his hands and knees and grovel and effuse about how great the noble and strong Prince of All Saiyans was.
Which wasn't about to happen in this lifetime or any other. No; he didn't hold onto grudges. No he didn't think that just because he won a couple of battles that he was any better than Vegeta. No he wasn't all that concerned with pride, but no, he was not going to fall down to his knees just to make Vegeta feel better about being stubborn. He was equal to Vegeta. Despite what the other Saiyan said about him being born third-rate or third-class or whatever. All that mattered was that they were the last two left, and they needed to preserve what was left of their race.
Which of course brought about Vegeta's insistence that Goku wasn't even a true Saiyan, and the stubborn one rubbed this in everytime he opened his mouth and said his 'real' name in that voice that just oozed with pride. Kakarot, Vegeta called him, and nothing else. Because Goku had been born Kakarot and that was all he would ever be to Vegeta.
Which was fine, because a name was just a name after all. Vegeta could call him tinkerbell all the time and it wouldn't make a difference.
"Hey, 'Geta," he said.
"Hello Kakarot."
Great. Now what was he supposed to say now? How are you doing? What have you been up to? The woman that you live with and bore your child says that you're being especially un-lovable, do you think you could give her a break so I can get out of this obligation as her best friend to figure out what crawled up your ass (well, what most recently crawled up your ass) and took up residence? He smiled. Chuckled like a dork--mostly at his own wit--and settled on:
"So, what have you been doing?"
"What are you doing, Kakarot?"
"What?" he asked, "What do you mean? I was just asking you what you've been up to these past two years?"
"I saw you talking to Bulma."
He had actually had much more comfortable conversations with poisonous snakes. "I'm not doing anything, I swear."
"I hardly need you to talk to me like I'm a troublesome child."
Okay, was he the only one that thought Vegeta overreacted to everything?
"What? Vegeta! I swear, I wasn't doing anything! I was just asking a question, that's all."
"Whatever, Kakarot."
Oh. This was going to be a pain. But seeing how his schedule was pretty much wide open until he died again or another alien race threatened earth, he had nothing better to do with his time. Round one, he admitted, was a draw, so he backed off, kept his hands up in neutrality and went to seek out food, because he was going to need all his strength to figure out what was wrong with Vegeta.
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ACK!!!!! It's growing right before my very eyes! NOOOOO! Someone stop it! *slams door on fic that is growing beyond the proportions of its intended two-chapter length.*
Goku: Its hopeless with her.
Vegeta: She should just give in and get it over with.
Goku: Sigh. How many chapters do you think it'll take us to get to the 'bumping uglies' part?
Vegeta: *glances at plot line.* It's too early to tell.
