Shattered and Scarred
by A'Nore     More by this Writer
Warnings- AU, OOC, YAOI, RAPE, and general writer randomness, sadistic humor or just plain lack of humor, Goku as a sex kitten, authoress' own opinion, stupid disclaimers, Vegeta afraid of the dark, and the list goes on and on and on....

Image by 'Herumon Runta'

http://herumon.main.jp/t_op.html
https://www.pixiv.net/member.php?id=169805
Rape



Prologue
Disclaimer- *L'orn bangs head against keyboard* Do I have to spell it out! I N O O W N! And Xero Sky won't let me have Vejiito either. Damn it!

Shattered and Scarred

By A'Nore and L'Orn

Disclaimer- I've found a lot of crap under here *A'nore peeks out from her hidey hole under her desk* but I can't find my rights to Dragonball Z...But that's okay, I'm just going to have Vejiito get them for me...As soon as I can find him...I think Xero Sky still has him...Ummmm......

Prologue

We're only human baby

We walk on broken ground

We lose our way

We come unwound

We're turning circles baby

We re never satisfied

We fall from grace

Forget we can fly

But through all the tears that we cry

We'll survive

Cause when we're torn apart

Shattered and scarred

Love has the grace to save us

We're just two tarnished hearts

But in each other arms

We become Saints and Angels

I love your imperfections

I love your everything

Your broken heart

Your broken wings

I love you when you hold me

And when you turn away

I love you still

And I'm not afraid

Cause I now you feel the same way

And you'll stay

Cause when we're torn apart

Shattered and scarred

Love has the grace to save us

We're just two tarnished hearts

But in each others arms

We become Saints and Angels

These feet of clay

They will not stray

Cause when we're torn apart

Shattered and scarred

Love has the grace to save us

We're just two tarnished hearts

But in each others arms

We become Saints and Angels

.............Sara Evans



Vegeta, Crown Prince of Vegeta-sei, didn't need eyes to recognize Capital City; he could have identified the largest city on Vegeta-sei by scent alone. As the spaceship slowly landed in its berth, he was assailed by the aromas of spice and flowers and the faint, underlying odor of decay. Through the view window he was further assaulted by the vibrant colors. The brilliant scarlets, violets and golds were a shock after the blackness of space.

The ship lurched one final time before engines shut down and escape hatches opened to allow exit to any who wished to disembark. The abrasive sights and sounds made him yearn for the silence of his pod ship. He had been so focused on bare survival that he hadn't appreciated how welcome the quietness really was. He wasn't sure if he was ready to join the land of the living.

During the weeks that Vegeta had spent in transport, it had taken an immense effort to maintain his control, to pretend that there was nothing wrong with him that a little time and a few meals wouldn't cure. In spite of his best efforts, he doubted that he had been entirely convincing. He had been indecently grateful when after he had been released from medical he had been summoned home to the Vegeta-sei by his father the king.

Absently Vegeta rubbed the rough jagged scar behind his ear, then ran his fingers through thick black hair. His head ached, but less than usual. Perhaps it was because he was, finally, in the land of his birth and heritage. A place he had only seen in holograms since he had departed more than ten years prior to train under Lord Frieza. Vegeta realized that his heartbeat was quickening, as much with anxiety as with anticipation. He forced himself to breathe deeply until the fear subsided. He needed to return to the strict routine offered by his previous life. He needed the repetitive sameness of training and endless royal duties to help him forget the last ten years. And he had to forget, he would forget. Then he would be all right.

His knuckles whitened as his fingers clenched into fists at his side. He had to be all right.

___________________________________________________________________________

Nightmares again. Kakkarot awoke gasping and sat up in bed, one flailing hand striking away the covering that surrounded him. Shaking he buried his face in his pillow.

As his fear eased, he wryly reproached himself for becoming so upset when his nightmares were such old friends. They had begun when he was twelve years old, when he had first realized the type of savagery that could exist in the universe.

Over time, new scenes had been added to his nightmares. The worse was the catastrophe that had destroyed his childhood, though the images were not limited to his years before being sent off world. In fact, the most humiliating events had taken place after he had been sent to work for Lord Koola.

These days the nightmares were rare and usually occurred only when change was imminent. Unfortunately, the images had lost none of their vivid emotion. Fear, revulsion and shame. Passion, disaster, death.

Wearily Kakkarot brushed a hand through wildly spiked black hair damp with sweat. Most of the time he was carefree, friendly and even flirtatious to a fault. In his position he wasn't allowed the usual range of emotions. Unruly negative emotions were detrimental to his health; he had learned that the hard way. But learn it he had. Koola liked his favorites to be cheerful, never allowed to show any signs of anger, resentment or even fear. Yet in his nightmares he was always a frantic, terrified child and no amount of maturity had changed that. He supposed he must content himself with being grateful that the dreams came only two or three times a year.

It seemed absurd to have nightmares when the change coming was one he welcomed. Tomorrow he was going home. He hadn't seen his home planet Vegeta-sei or his father, Bardock in over ten years. Not since he had been given into Koola's service when he was twelve. He hadn't seen or spoken to Vegeta in all that time either. Maybe it was that prospect which had woken his sleeping demons for one of their periodic assaults. He wondered just what his prince would think of him now. He was no longer the boy who had trail after the young prince, always trying to prove himself to the royal heir. He had nothing to prove anymore. And even less reason to try.

Slowly he rolled over and commanded the light on. Good, he thought glancing at the time; at least he didn't have to try to go back to sleep. Sterile gray metal walls enclosed his room, not that he was complaining; at least it was private. Most of Koola's soldiers were bunked together in small groups. But he had been Koola's favorite for quite awhile now and had been granted his own room. Gathering his clothes he quickly got dressed. Maybe he could get in a good spar today. To exorcise his demons in that wonderful, comforting haze of mind numbing pain and exhaustion.

___________________________________________________________________________

His father was there to meet him when Vegeta finally made his way down the exit ramp into the blinding, hot and arid afternoon sunlight. The increased gravity and twin suns of Vegeta-sei made it an inhospitable place for anyone who wasn't Saiyan. After spending ten years among the Ice-jins, the warmth was welcoming, reminding him of his hot-bloodedness. It was speculated that it was the very heat of the planet that caused the passionate ferociousness of Saiyan warriors. And the high gravity caused their superior strength. Allowing his eyes to adjust, he breathed in the essence of home. Gesturing to Nappa and Raditz, his two body guards, that thought almost made him snort with self-mocking laughter, they couldn't guard themselves let alone him, he moved forward to finally greet the father he hadn't seen in more than ten years.

"Greetings, my son." King Vegeta came forward and raised his right hand in a two-fingered vee, the official salutation of Vegeta-sei.

"Your Majesty," Vegeta replied bowing his head in acknowledgement of his father's higher rank as he returned the familiar hand signal. "It's been a long time."

"Yes, but I believe you have trained under the Lord Frieza long enough," his father motioned for Vegeta to walk beside him as he proceeded in royal procession the short distance across the palace courtyards. " Now you are needed to assume your duties to your people."

"I learned everything that Frieza deemed worthy of teaching me;" the sarcasm was evident in Vegeta's voice as well as a touch of hostility. "I was ready to return."

"Good...And your injuries...?"His father asked quietly searching Vegeta's face for any signs of distress. Vegeta turn cold dead eyes on his father as he answered.

"They were of no matter. The regeneration tanks took care of the more serious. Do not concern yourself."

"Everything about you concerns me," King Vegeta waved away their escorts as they left the courtyard and enter the royal suite. Two guards stood duty outside the massive twin oak doors, which they hurriedly opened as the King and his son approached them. Once they had passed through the same guards quickly pulled the doors shut leaving the two royal Saiyans with their first opportunity for privacy together in over a decade.

Vegeta's dark eyes watched as his father headed towards a table that was set up with a vast array of food and drink and proceeded to pour two tumblers with a potent brew found only on Vegeta-sei, Vharaka. It was a heavily spiced and intoxicating liquor that only Saiyans were able to imbibe at any length with out any lasting ill affects. After accepting his glass and taking a hasty swallow, Vegeta moved out onto the balcony that overlooked the courtyard and grasped the marble railing with tense fingers. Hearing his father moving about the room behind him Vegeta quickly swallowed the last of the drink, having a hard time holding himself upright.

The physical exhaustion he had been ignoring now pounded mind and body like a hundred Saiyan elite and his breath came in deep, ragged gasps. But far worse than his physical distress was the emotional pain and a bitter piece of knowledge that he could neither accept of deny. The darkness in his soul had finally broken free and even the blazing Vegeta-sei suns weren't enough to dissipate the black mists that swirled through him in waves of suffocating anguish.

Vegeta had just enough sanity left to know that he was falling to pieces, and he didn't have the faintest damned idea how to stop it. Like a wounded animal he craved a burrow where he could suffer alone before he broke down in front of his father, showing the older man just how weak he really was.

Footsteps sounded behind him and Vegeta went rigid, forgetting for a moment where he was. Then a hand touched Vegeta's shoulder and the last thread of Vegeta's self-restraint snapped. As he twisted around he swung his right fist in a wild, furious blow, wanting to strike and not caring who or where he hit. But the other intruder wasn't Frieza or even one of his men. As his fist smashed into the other man's chest, Vegeta realized that he had just assaulted his own father.

King Vegeta managed to stay upright from the blow, though only just. For an endless moment the two men stared at each other.

"What the hell happened to you?" Vegeta found his hand enclosed in a tight grip that would not allow him to move.

"Nothing! I just need to rest. Then I'll be all right.' Vegeta said, flatly refusing to admit that anything was wrong.

"Very well. Why don't you rest in here while I finish up any important matters that are left and I will join you for dinner? Your own chambers have been refurbished but there is no need to visit them until later. Just rest now, we can talk later." Directing Vegeta over to a long low couch he gently pushed his son down until he was seated. Taking one last look at the man, who had left him a boy, he turned and left the room.

Leaning back against the overstuffed pillows, Vegeta watched the evening shadows start to lengthen across the luxurious appointments of the royal chambers. Soon it would be dark. He turned on the light at the end of the couch. He had developed a distaste for the darkness. His lips tightened to a bloodless line. It was time, past time to be honest. What he felt about darkness was nothing as mild as distaste; it was surging irrational terror. Nor was darkness the only fear he had acquired during his training with Frieza. As his chest rose and fell in agitation, he forced himself to face the ugly facts he had been trying to deny since he had been recalled home.

He was terrified of being confined against his will.

He was afraid to sleep because he feared his dreams.

He feared death. Infinitely worse, he feared life.

His pride was gone.

He was a coward.

One by one he ticked off his weaknesses, studying each one until it settled in his mind and made itself home. But bitter as those truths were, they were not as painful as the final, brutal fact that he had desperately refused to accept. Even in the privacy of his own mind it was almost impossible to say the words to himself, but he finally did.

He was impotent.

As Vegeta's nails dug crescent-shaped groves in his palms, he rolled the syllables around in his mind. Impotent. He could almost be a eunuch, just half a man for all the function that could be found between his legs. Never would he be able to know the basic satisfaction of passion and physical closeness. The knowledge seared like white-hot iron. There were possibly some men who would scarcely noticed the loss of their sexuality, but they couldn't be Saiyan, and the they were not him.

Looking back, he knew exactly when the damage had been done; during the worst of the beatings that had been administered while he was in The Pit. Frieza had let the Ginyu Force meet out his punishment that time and he had been kick savagely and repeatedly, in the genitals. After being denied the regeneration tanks and allowed to slowly heal own his own, he had never felt desire again. At the time he had barely noticed, for hunger and pain had already extinguished passion. The question of whether he had been rendered impotent by their repeated attacks hadn't mattered at the time. He had expected to die in The Pit.

But he had survived and the question of his virility became relevant. When freedom and food didn't restore him, he had refused to believe that he might have suffered permanent damage. Instead, he had convinced himself that in time it would return. It had been long enough; it was time to stop lying to himself. His physical condition had improved, but there still hadn't been any change in his sexual nature, not the slightest hint of improvement. In over five months, he had never once had an erection of any form. It was time to admit a vital part of his life was gone.

Vegeta released his breath in a ragged sigh. He had had quite enough merciless honesty for one day; what he craved was sleep. He rolled to his feet and moved across the room to find the decanter filled with Vharaka. Recklessly he filled a glass almost to the brim and dropped into the nearest armchair. There with quick efficiency he set out to drink himself into a stupor as quickly as possible.

Before he could achieve his goal, a wave of violent nausea surged through him. Desperate for fresh air, he stumbled outside on the balcony, barely making it to the rail before his outraged body purged itself of the potent liquor. Head spinning and gut churning, he fell on his knees and retched until his stomach was empty. Too weak to stand, he buried his sweat-slick face in his hand, shaking and chilled despite the evening's warmth. He hadn't expected the Vharaka to be a long time solution, but had thought it would give him a few hours of desperately needed oblivion. But apparently not.

As Vegeta's hammering heart slowed to normal, he faced one last ominous truth: he couldn't go on this way.

__________________________________________________________________________

The next morning Kakkarot woke early, he would be home soon; he could feel the slight vibrations through the insulated hull of the ship that indicated that it was passing through the planet's outer atmosphere. He had a little time before it would lock into a berth so he allowed himself a leisurely shower. Flaring his energy he dried off, he slipped into his sleeveless dark blue battle suit. The material clung like a second skin, emphasizing every fine detail of his perfectly sculpted body. Clasping his chest armor on and quickly tugging on black boots, he stared at his reflection in the mirror. He rubbed his hand through unruly hair causing it to become even more so. Sighing in defeat he ignored it, Lord Koola had delighted in his wild look, saying it was intoxicatingly primitive. But then Koola had liked just about everything about his favorite Saiyan elite. Kakkarot shook his head at that thought he wasn't going to dwell on the past. His future started today.

He slid a gold armband on his right arm bicep turning it so that the symbol of Vegeta-sei was easily seen. He had had the piece of jewelry made when he had ranked an elite in Koola's Special Forces. It was to remind him of his life before he had left his home, the life he would return to one day. Then he slipped a gold band around his forehead and threaded tiny gold hoops through the holes in his ears. Lastly he slipped several gold filigree bands on his blue black tail before wrapping it around his waist. He snorted at his reflection, he looked like a damned royal concubine, but then that was essentially what he had been, after all. For a moment he debated on removing the jewelry and changing into a less revealing outfit but decided against it. His untamed exotic good looks had always gotten him attention and he knew how to use them to get what he wanted. And he was strong enough now to keep anyone from trying to take advantage of them. Attaching his black floor length cape he completed his erotic space pirate look.

A knock sounded at the door and he gave the command to open only to find Sauza, another of Koola's elite propped against the frame studying him, eyes drinking in his stunning form.

"Going all out, I see," the blue skin Zaurion winked as he straightened up to allow Kakkarot to exit and followed him down the ship's corridor.

"Well you know me, I'd feel naked without all of it," the young Saiyan replied.

"In that outfit being naked would not be an improvement, my dear boy. It shows nearly as much and accentuates everything. You just like the attention it gets you," Sauza slapped an affectionate arm around Kakkarot's shoulders as they continued to the landing bay.

"Maybe," Kakkarot openly smiled at the comment; he liked Sauza, mainly because the man had never made a pass at him. While Kakkarot was blatantly homosexual, coming from an all-male race; Sauza was the epitome of a heterosexual male, no matter how he liked to tease, and no woman was safe in his company. Their differences in sexual appetites had never interfered with their friendship. The only contention between the two was when they were sparring to see who was the strongest. Kakkarot had been the winner more often than not lately, and was now the strongest of Koola's elite, taking the title from Sauza. But with his return to Vegeta-sei, Sauza would once more resume that favored position.

"Can you stay?" Kakkarot asked as they approached the exit.

"No, Lord Koola sent a request this morning for my immediate return," Sauza gaze locked with Kakkarot's as he continued. "He also said to remind you that you will always be one of his elite."

"He never gives up;" the younger man shrugged and kept walking, not allowing Sauza to see the fear and revulsion that filled his eyes. "He wants me to stay and continue to work for him, but it is time for me to return to my duties here."

"You've always been his favorite..."

"Don't remind me!" This was the only time in all his years of service to Koola that Kakkarot had voiced any displeasure in it. For a moment anger and hatred warred in their battle over his features before his usual grinning facade once again gain control. The flashes of facial expressions were all but undetectable to any one that wasn't trained to watch such things, but Sauza was.

"Kakkarot...?"

"Are you my friend?" Came the query.

"Of course, always," Sauza reached forward lightly grasping his fellow elite's wrist, but his hand was shook loose as Kakkarot proceeded towards the bright Vegeta-sei sun, leaving a bewildered Sauza behind.

"Then don't ask." Kakkarot cheerfully saluted his friend one final time, then turned and strolled cockily down the exit ramp to greet his father, eager to begin a new life. Leaving his past behind he rushed forward to greet his future.

"Father!"

Bardock turned to greet his son, surprised at the differences in the boy who had left him and the mature man that stood in front of him. If it weren't for their striking similarity in looks, he would have denied that this amused and smiling young man could be his son. Grabbing Kakkarot in a bear hug he held the younger man away as he stared in astonishment at the changes he saw.

"What are you wearing?" The strict military uniformed Captain of the Royal Guards demanded. "I thought you were one of Koola's elite?"

"You don't like?" Kakkarot pouted for a second and then his familiar bright smile returned. " But I am, Father. His best! But he allowed us to wear what ever we liked as long as it was in his colors...And I really like this." He rubbed his hands sensually over blue spandex clad thighs, purring. This gained him admiring attention from the large group of Saiyan soldiers who were working in the Vegeta-sei military landing bay. He winked at them then turned back to his father, locking him arm and arm as he practically dragged an irate Bardock out, away from the whistles and catcalls he was receiving for his little performance

"Displays like that will only get you hunted! Is that what you want?" His father was angry at the palpable sexual aura his son was giving off; he could smell the strong spicy heat of arousal mixing with his son's usually sweet scent.

"They can try," Kakkarot laughed coyly. "I've been prey before, but no one has caught me yet."

******************************************************************

A'nore: Here Kitty, kitty, kitty...

L'orn: Damn It! You've made Vegeta into a frightened little boy! Impotent! What about the monkey action? There can't be any if he can't FUNCTION!

A'nore: Calm down, everything works out in the end. But looked at what you did to Goku! He's a flirt! A Sex Kitten!

L'orn: And what's wrong with that?

A'nore: Well...Ummmm... nothing really...

L'orn: I thought so! Now make turn Vegeta back into his usual BAD MAN NOW!

A'nore: He will...eventually...

L'orn: I guess I can wait, but only for the sake of the stor..ACK! *falls to the floor after Vegeta slams story over her head*

Vegeta: Stupid Onna! I thought you were on my side! *powers up for his Final Flash as A'nore hides under her desk, finishing of her last bottle of Tequila to help with the pain she's about to endure for the sake of this fic* Where the Hell are you! Onna! I'll show you impotent! I am the Saiyan no Ouji! No one more potent then me! Just ask that idiot Kakkarot!



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