Welcome to Boxer & Rice

A tear fell from the bridge of the slumbering Saiyan’s nose to softly hit the feather pillow he clutched for dear life. It couldn’t have been anything more than a dream, could it have? He sighed and looked at the alarm clock. 2:58 a.m. and no hope of getting to sleep anytime soon.

He stood and unknowingly passed by the unseen spectator. He sat down in the overstuffed armchair, with a book in hand, his attention was given to anything but the words on the page. He quietly contemplated where he’d screwed up so miserably.

Humans don’t understand.

He was only mid-thirties and felt like a complete and utter disappointment.

Videl had left him, not being able to understand him as much as she had thought and gave into finding another lover, she had already been pregnant with another’s child by the end of their marriage. She had become scared of how much physical devotion a Saiyan needed when they mated. She distanced herself from him even within the year of their marriage.

Saiyans were passionate creatures, and she couldn’t handle it, and as strong as she had been, she sought out the comfort of another’s arms in desperation. She feared such a deep commitment, blaming it on seeing her father flaunt all too many women in her teens, but they both knew their reasons.

It left Gohan crushed and hollow, even at the age thirty-one, he hoped never to face his fear of solitude. So many nights he was haunted and plagued with nightmares that left him tossing and turning. The only thing that seemed to best the dark visions was the presence of another. He hated to admit it was the reason he had slept in the same bed as his younger brother up until the time he moved in with his sweetheart.

He had seen too much pain, no human could contemplate how hard it was for Earth’s special defenses. Ready to strike down the very threat to Earth’s existence. The weight of the world was a heavy burden to carry.

He sighed and checked his watch. 3:25 and he’d only gotten through ten pages. He relented and laid the book on the coffee table, upon looking up shock reigned upon him, blackness overtook him.

***

Gohan looked blearily around the room. The last thing he remember was hallucinating.

Goten was sitting on the couch, looking at him as if just waiting to be noticed.

No, that couldn’t have been right, he was dead. It had been the third year anniversary of Goten’s death, and sorrow had just gotten to him.

“Do you feel any better?”

Great, now he was hearing things. Afraid of what he may or may not see, Gohan stood stiffly, refusing to turn around. Not acknowledging voices was better than talking to them.

He heard a heavy sad sigh, “Gohan, I know this is a shock to the system, but I’m here… Please?” Hearing all desperation and yearning in the voice, Gohan slowly turned around to see a translucent form in tears.

Slowly gathering the courage, Gohan edged closer. The apparition form of his little brother looking despondently at the ground. “It’s really you isn’t it?” He gave a ghostly smile and nodded.

“Goten!” The hushed exclamation made his heart leap. Goten was really there. “How…? I mean… You’re…” Not knowing where to even begin, Gohan took to just staring at the now smiling Goten in awe. He reached out his hand, but was stopped.

“Gohan, you won’t be able to touch me, I am a ghost after all.” Gohan nodded dumbly, still jaw dropped. “You better sit down for this, we really need to talk…

Gohan made it to the chair in a zombie-like shuffle, his mind on auto-pilot, running miles a minute elsewhere. “Gohan,” Goten’s all too somber tone finally got the shell-shocked demi’s full attention. “Gohan, we need to talk… about Trunks.”

Gohan nodded understandingly, the young demi-prince’s self-destructive style was all too painful for anyone to see. “Why did you leave him like that tonight?” The question dripped with anxiety and desperation as tears glazed his eyes.

Out of all the questions, that was the last think Gohan expected to hear. Finally finding his voice through his own guilt and sorrow, Gohan was finally able to explain, “He kissed me, Goten. What was I supposed to do? Sit there and let him pretend that I was you?” He struggled with his voice as sobs threatened to dominate his demeanor. “I’m so sorry Goten, please don’t hate me.” His face fell into his hands as his shoulders shook uncontrollably, while he wept.

“Gohan…” The younger brother knelt on the floor in front of him, wishing he could give the physical support the demi needed. “You haven’t done anything wrong, Gohan.”

“But I wanted to, I wanted to kiss back…,” the confession was thick with guilt.

“Then why didn’t you?”

“He sees me as you, Goten, and I’d never betray you. You’re my brother… and-”

“Gohan, look at me.” A ghostly hand lifted the chin of the elder for their eyes to meet. “Do you truly believe that he didn’t see you? Think about it Gohan, even those last years, I know Trunks being there to comfort you was bringing you two closer and closer together.

“You have no idea how much he’s come to need your support, Gohan. You being there to comfort Trunks has made him see you in a different light.” Gohan gasped at the new info. Trunks really had meant to kiss him, and Gohan had harshly denied him. “Gohan, there is nothing wrong with you loving Trunks.”

“Goten, we can’t… it’d b-”

“Listen to yourself, Gohan. You know it as much as I do, humans don’t understand us. Why do you think Dad and Vegeta are together now?” Goten gave a dry, mirthless chuckle in the face of desperation. “Human’s can’t ever truly bond with Saiyans the way we need them to. I thought I’d live my life with Paris, she was as sweet as they come. But no matter how much I loved her, there was something missing. Thankfully Trunks was there, and I was complete with him, Gohan. He was the only one to ever understand me like that, the way I needed that understanding.

“Now, his heart is searching for another. Please Gohan, I know you love him. You can’t look at me in the eyes and say that you don’t.”

“I know Goten, I just… I just didn’t want to hurt you, you’re my brother and he was your lover.”

Goten smiled at Gohan’s thoughtfulness… “I know Gohan, I know. I do and always will love Trunks, but sometimes if you love someone, you have to let them go.”

Gohan nodded. “Yeah. You want us to be together?”

“I’d rather trust him to my own brother, than to anyone else Gohan. Take care of him, I know that both of you need this.” The ghostly figure ran his hand down the side of his brother’s face as if to wipe away the tears, even though he passed right through him.

“I love you Goten, so much. Everyone misses you.”

“I know Gohan, I love you too, but I know I’ll see everyone again one day. Hopefully later than sooner.” The two shared a smile. “Please take care of him Gohan, my time here is almost up and there’s still something I need to do.”

Gohan nodded. “I will ‘Ten, don’t worry. Tell Grandpa hi for me?” Tears threatened to fall, but smiles never wavered.

“Consider it done.”

As if dissipating like steam, in a moment’s notice he was gone. Gohan saw the time on the VCR, 5:12 a.m. Sighing with all the overwhelming emotions, Gohan made his way back to bed to crash until late morning.

***

The apparition sat watching over the object of his affection with worried eyes. Trunks had grown unbelievably thin, refusing to eat enough to sustain his Saiyan stamina, but merely support a weak existence. He was pale from staying inside for far too long, looking wraith-like himself, pasty and dull. Life had become a monotonous routine of merely going through life only because others forced him to do so.

“Why Tru, why?” Goten could barely stand to look at the once powerful prince. “Why are you doing this to yourself, baby?” Hollow tears fell from ghostly eyes. “Please Tru, you have to be strong, the warrior I know you are. I love you so much and it hurts so much to see you like this…. Please Trunks.”

The sleeping form mumbled a minute as if trying to process what was going on. “Go…ten?” The endless desperation and pain in blue eyes that fluttered open truly terrified Goten. There was no hint of life in the dull ice blues of the once fiery passionate azure.

A hollow shell, living in a hollow world, what I wouldn’t give for a hollow heart.

Goten took a deep breath to steel his nerves before slowly approaching the demi huddled in the covers, trying to push his way farther and farther into the corner.

“You’re not real. You can’t be real.” Trunks clutched his head and wailed despairingly. “Not real, not real… not real!” He choked on sobs… Trembling in the corner on his bed he broke down, hearing the other join him in crying.

Trunks looked up to see the insubstantial form crying on him even though he was weightless. “I’m so, so sorry Trunks. I never meant to cause you so much pain.” Not realizing that he now had Trunks’ attention, he never figured a hand would unfeelingly be stroking his face.

“Goten?” The voice he heard, though weak, seemed infinitely more reasonable and sane, though unsure. “You’re… you’re really here?”

“Yeah,” Goten sniffled but smiled that Trunks was willing to listen to him, “Let’s just had I still had something to finish.”

Trunks nodded miserably, “I’m so sorry Goten… I, I couldn’t save you. We failed to fin- find… the- the cure.” The voice was guilt-ridden and anguished.

“Trunks, I got sick, and that’s nobody’s fault. There wasn’t a cure to be found, that just meant that it was my time, Trunks.” He reached out to wipe tears from the still sniveling demi. “You have to forgive yourself, Trunks.” He wished for all the world the other could feel the hug. It was a hollow effort.

Trunks only nodded mutely, understanding Goten’s visit.

He doesn’t want me to join him…

“Good, never blame yourself Trunks, never again.” Goten playfully slug through his cheek and smiled. “I love you Trunks, and I always will, but we were never meant to be. True love is hard to come by, but if you love someone you have to let them go.”

“Goten… I, I never meant to… to kiss…” He paled now that he realized what Gohan had meant when they couldn’t be together. It tore at him like a dagger through silk.

“Trunks, don’t. You love him. I’m not mad, I want you to be able to love again, and truthfully, I’m so glad that it’s with Gohan, rather than any human. You need each other. Just like any Saiyans would.” Goten smiled sincerely, “I told Gohan he better take care of you, or else.”

Trunks’ jaw was slightly slack. “Goten… I…” He chose to focus on something past Goten. “I love you Goten, and I promise I always will.”

“I know Trunks, but it’s time to move on. I know you love him now. Our love is one to remember forever, but live your life to the fullest, never doubt your heart Trunks. Never forsake thee, true love.”

Goten looked out the window, the sun was nearly on the horizon, time was almost up.

“I have to go Trunks, I’ve done what I’ve needed to do all along.” Trunks nodded gloomily.

“One last kiss?” Goten nodded. A simple request.

They looked into each other’s eyes, relishing the memory of their love, knowing it was something to cherish and remember, not dwell on. They leaned closer, two sets of eyes slid closed and phantom lips pressed to tender flesh. Trunks felt it in his heart, his lips warmed by love.

With the first rays of light in the room, he faded into the dark with one last message, “Love him as you did me.”

Trunks fell back onto his bed, head hitting the pillow he clutched. Tomorrow would be a new day and a new start, a new love.