Welcome to Boxer & Rice

~Goten’s PoV~

I must be going mad, wanting something that I could only ask for and it would be willingly given but no -no -no, not any more. A typical case of you really understand the value of one-thing-or-another only when you lose it, bah.

I tried for a very long time to ignore it, to go on with my stupid `naive Son show’ that I put on each and every time I see him and he has always to be with him. Damn you brother. Why did it have to be you?

`I don’t owe anything’

But now I’m just too fed up with everything, bored to have to hide my feelings, bored to be always the one in pain. I used to believe that I had no right to interfere with their relationships. Now, I see that I have every right, every right to claim what should have been mine in the first place.

Perhaps tonight is the perfect chance to do it. Confess my longing, make him understand, that I am the one that should have him.

`I don’t owe anyone’

Gohan is my brother; I don’t want to hurt him but he got in my way. If I have to choose between his happiness and mine, I won’t step aside this time for anyone.

I suppose that I’ll have to thank Bulma-san for that glorious opportunity. After all the idea of the `old-friends’ reunion party’ was hers. I guess that I should thank him as well; due to his `busy schedule’ he won’t be able to come, at least not at the beginning of it, anyway. It will have been some months, since I’ve last been alone with Trunks.

I can’t believe how I let him slip through my fingers but I was too young then and ignorant. I always liked him,but never had I imagined that I would lose him to Gohan to the nerdy, married to Satan’s daughter, eleven-years-older, brother of mine!

No use crying over the past. It’s only that I’d prefer having done my move before all the crap happened. If only I had claimed him before he had the chance.

I’d better start getting ready. I don’t wanna be late for the party.

`Shoot pride for all it’s worth’

The whole place is decorated. For heavens’ sake! It’s not like anyone would be offended if those red velvet ribbons didn’t cover every inch of the staircase! But that’s what Bulma is like, right?

`I don’t belong’

I really want to get over with it but I have no idea how to tell him, he is constantly surrounded by either his mother and sister or some of the Z fighters. The whole situation is getting on my nerves. Dad waves at me from the buffet, where he is stuffing his face, as he always does. Vegeta is scowling at him, as he always does, no way. I avoid Krillin who made an unsuccessful attempt to open a conversation and I get out of the damned building.

Full moon, starry sky. An indoors yard, I never knew of its existence. A new expansion, I think. I really haven’t visit CC for the longest time.

A little puddle is placed in the middle. Light breezes wrinkle its surface. I look at myself with child-like excitement. I almost laugh, as a black-clad man stares back at me. I can barely recognize myself in him. I feel like time has stopped at the days when Trunks and I would always get into some _big_ trouble, and have a hell of fun time while doing it! Oh, gods, how I miss him.

I weep a half-formed tear from my eyes, as the door open and Trunks comes to a halt behind me, speak of the devil.

“Why did you leave the party? The others are quite worried.” he touches my shoulder, and speaks softly, as if he really gave a damn. “You all right, Chibi?”

No, of course not, you idiot! I would really like to slap his so perfect face, hard, but I stay still, my back turned to him, still staring at my reflection.

He moves, to stand next to me, looking through the water in front of him. I steal a glance; how handsome he is inside his light blue suit. Always managing to look slighter than the heavy-built warrior he really is.

Sigh. “I’m so sorry. I know-” Nothing, you know absolutely nothing. “I know I hardly spend any time with you these days, since-” Since when? Since the day when my beloved brother made you his bitch?

He now looks at his shoes. “Since everything between- between Gohan and me happened” Wow, he flushed. “But I promise you that it will get better, ok?” He said a whole sentence with one breath. That’s an improvement.

What is he staring at now? If he is really waiting for a reaction I won’t make his favor-

“Damn, Goten, talk to me!!” He has grabbed the front of my shirt and he is violently shaking me. Shit! I had forgotten how strong he really is. He sees my strained _expression and lets me down but he doesn’t let me go. “I care about you, Chibi.”

You have no idea how much I want -I need to believe it. Can you see it in my eyes? “You are not your old self anymore -at all. You speak to no one, you seldom get out. Everyone has noticed. I want to know what’s wrong with you, I really do.”

`In a situation now’

Do you know what you are asking me to do? Your eyes piercing my soul, your warm hands touching my body and your lips -sweet, wet lips- a breath from my own. I can’t resist any more. The next thing I know, I’m all over you, devouring your sweet flesh, attacking your hot mouth. My anger long forgotten.

You let me, frozen but just for a moment, for the second your brain registered what was going on, you shoved me fiercely away and started powering up.

“I love you, Trunks. That is `what’s wrong’.”

`That I could not repair’

***

~Trunks’ PoV~

Fuck you Goten! Why did you have to come and screw everything up? Why now after so many years? Why did you do this to me, today?

“Why? Why, why?” Why did you, why hadn’t you, why do I? A single word echoes again and again in my head. A single word becomes my mantra. Everything- anything, to keep me distracted from what happened only seconds ago. For I can’t let my thoughts linger on the feeling of his mouth and body against mine. Nor can I let the unique scent of his soft hair distract me.

I am level two now and I barely notice. I almost forget to breathe, as the effort not to totally lose control requires all of my willpower. Kill him-no!-. Blast him-I can’t.-. No more thoughts, no more pain, it hurts, it hurts so badly.

If only that had happened some years ago. I would have been the happiest man in the whole damned planet. Hell, Goten! Where were you when I was crying for your love, when I was suffering alone in the dark? How dare you invade my life, threatening to destroy everything I’ve built, after all those years?

I had been waiting to hear those three simple words from you, since I was fifteen. If you really mean them, how can you do this, to me, now?

***

~Goten’s PoV~

`I assert myself to sleep’

This time I’ve really done it. Overdone it, maybe. He is _very_mad at me but I am still standing here, in front of him. Waiting for- what am I waiting for? Did I really expect that I would tell him what I felt and he would immediately run after me, declaring his eternal love and dumping my brother at once?

One thing I didn’t expect however is this. Why is he so enraged? In the worst case he could slap me and leave. I do not understand and so I just stare at him as he seems deep into some internal combat.

“Why?” He is repeating this word, more to himself than anything, as he refuses to even look at my direction. Because I want you, that’s why! I had enough of that joke of a relationship you share with him!

What did he expect me to do? To go on with my life and pretend that I didn’t feel a thing for his royal butt? To watch from the background as he and Goh-

Gohan! Shit! How did he- Trunks’s ki. Of course, even my sweetest mother would have been able to detect such an energy burst. I don’t wanna face him. That is the very last thing I intended. Surely not what I needed now, with the whole situation already out of control.

`Show others that I’ve cared’

His ki is flickering wildly as he is coming closer and closer. Trunks looks like he hasn’t noticed his lover yet. I can’t move and it feels like a dream. One of those black and gray dreams, when you can only observe what’s going on and what you do, without being able to react.

He won’t look up or move even as my brother lands next to him, vividly trying to get some answers. He is shouting something at me now but I am too tired to pay any notice. Suddenly sickened of everything, I slowly let myself slip to my knees.

I watch as Trunks’s energy is slowly wasted and he falls out of Super Saiya-jin, with my brother catching him just in time before he hits the floor. I watch as he kisses his face again and again, lovingly, tenderly. Before some minutes, my whole being would have been disgusted at the same sight but now I feel nothing and I watch, as apathy takes over me.

I wonder how he can be so worried, always. As if he doesn’t know that Trunks is a Saiya-jin, who can take anything and more. I entertain myself briefly with the image of their loving, caring, sweet screwing. I dismiss it, since I find no more interest in it.

My brother helps him to get on his feet. I steal a glimpse of a tear-stricken, ghostly pale face. His eyes looking too big for his face, his gaze nailed at the grassy floor, supporting his weight against a wall.

A strong hand tilts my chin upwards, and I find myself looking into the fiery eyes of Son Gohan. His expression reminds me of the unstoppable warrior he once was. He does look like our father. I almost feel a tinge of fear, almost.

“What the hell did you do to him, stupid brother?” Was I staring? Too sorry. He looks so calm, while he is boiling from inside. If you want to hurt me, brother, you are free to try. Just don’t put on your boring show, not again.

“Screw yourself, big bro. And why don’t you ask him?” I barely recognized my own voice in those hissed menacing and vicious sounds. I wince for a tiny moment, until I discover I do not care for what they will think. I am too tired to play good, old Goten again, never again.

`How cold is this poor life’

Well, he still is quite powerful. I stay still between the debris that have half-buried my body. My jaw is bleeding at the spot where his punch made contact with my flesh. He lifts me from the ground, my weight nothing for him.

`Lay ashes at my grave’

“Once again. What happened here.” He growls low in his throat, his voice cold and sharp like steel and the deadly gleam more prominent than ever. My blood is slowly dripping, wetting his perfectly carefully ironed suit and he doesn’t throw a fit. I have no doubt that this person could kill me right now with no second thought.

`If it takes me away from you’

Everything is clear as crystal for a single moment. He really loves him, no limits. No place for a third one. I really wanna find out if he would kill me. I actually am quite eager to try; the only thing I wish for is to taste the patience of the one in front of me.

`A subtle gesture’

I stare at the ki ball that he is gathering in his steady hand, amused. He is saying something but I have blocked everything from mind. Weird thoughts are vaguely passing through my brain. I wonder what death will feel like this time; what’s after, and if anyone will notice. Somebody’s shadow is flickering to and fro between consciousness and sub-conscious.

And then another voice invades my trance; however this one cannot be ignored, and so it draws me back to my cold, heavy body. The first thing I see is a silken curtain of lavender. The faceless figure is him. Dimly at first, growing clearer as seconds pass by the reality hits me violently. Ruthlessly, reminding me of what happened, only that this time I cannot retreat into myself.

This time I cannot find any excuse to distract myself from the fact that Gohan and Trunks are really together. That they do love each other. That I have most definitely, completely, lost.

`I don’t know anyone (cherish my religion)’
‘I don’t know anyone (faith is only fiction)’

***

~Gohan’s PoV~

Gods! Gods, forgive me! I feel as if I just wake up, blood on my hands, venom in my heart. I could never in a thousand years dream of hurting my little brother! But just a moment ago, his death was not even a breath away.

When my father had to sacrifice his life, during my fight with Cell, due to my arrogance, I promised myself never to let these alien powers, born out of my range and pain, take me over again. But when I arrived here, only to find my beloved one in such mental torture and agony, sacred oaths became dust before my racing heart-beat.

The smell of my baby-brother all over my mate, the soul-searing stab of infidelity through our bond, the mocking look of indifference in his eyes! No, I didn’t need an explanation just an excuse for me to kill him, any excuse.

The monster is still inside me. Though I’m fighting against it every single day of my life, with the unquestionable support of Trunks and my family, it’s just lurking out there, in the shadowy corners of my brain. Asking only for an opportunity such as that one, to take over my entity.

Am I really worth him? I was just the one who took advantage of a heart-broken teenager. I only offered him comfort, took the place of my brother's, and stayed there but somehow it works out and when he claims that he loves me- a love that blossomed out of a desperate passion- there is no lie in his eyes.

And I know that I love him. When I left my wife, my daughter- even my mother, she would never approve- behind; there was neither uncertainty nor regret inside me.

And now you stand next to me, your soft hand cupping my cheek, whispering loving, soothing words of regret, while you barely have enough energy to speak; yes, somehow I believe that we can work it out, again. No matter how many times it might take, we will stick together to the end.

I lift you to my arms as your weakened body betrays you. We both made mistakes, however the worst has already passed. The one who really suffered this time though, is Goten. He is really hurt and he will need help to put his pieces back in place. I’m not sure if I will be able to help him but I know for sure that Trunks will be there for him. As his best friend.

`I don’t know anyone (cherish my religion)
I don’t know anyone (faith is only fiction)’

***

~Goten’s PoV~

He is in his arms, where he belongs. Where he belonged all along. How could I be so blind, not to see their blazing love? How could I be so deaf, not to hear every single word, which betrayed their true relationship?

How could I be so stupid, to believe that I could claim to have any right over Trunks? I never did care for his, for their happiness, only for my blind obsessions. Why am I going through all of this now? Why, since I knew it all along?

I tried to prove myself, through this farce. Oh, of course I like Trunks. I would be a thousand times happy if that affection was returned. He is- was- my friend though. Not meant to be anything more. What we really felt was the purest form of a friendship, I think. Have I destroyed it, Tru-kun?

`This is erased I promise not a trace’

Somehow I find the power to lift myself. They are heading towards the door. I reach to the miniature pool, washing the blood and dirt- and the tears I didn’t notice before- off my face and hands. The Goten from the other side of the surface stares at me, twisted from the ripples I caused to the water. Strange, that image resembles myself more than the previous one.

A second distorted figure appears in the puddle, leaning towards me. I’m sorry for the pain I caused. Do you wanna be my biggest friend, Trunks? Are you willing to forgive your stupid Chibi? An only-too-familiar voice whispers at my ear.

“Do you still wanna be my biggest friend, Chibi?”

You gently brush new tears- tears of joy- from my face. You say that you’ll be there for me. If you forgave me, everything will be better now on. You touch my shoulder, reassuringly, and then join Gohan whose waiting, just next to the door. His eyes are still tinted with mistrust and guilt but it will get better between us, I know.

Yes, Trunks, I will be your friend. I promise.

`This is erased I promise no delay not a trace’