Let's Make Nii-Chan Happy Again!
by Galacia     More by this Writer
When Trunks, Bra, Goten and Pan notice that their babysitter Gohan is unhappy they decide to try and find Gohan’s friend Mirai from the future so they can ask him how to make Gohan happy.



Chapter 03: The Saiyan´s Bride or Reasons chibis shouldn’t be up past 10
“That was fantastic!” Said Goten

“I loved it.” Said Pan

“Me too.” Said Trunks

“Me three.” Said Bra.

“Me fourth.” Said Pizza.

“I guess we all liked it.” Said Gohan. “But we better get you kids home before Bulma gets worried.”

“Can we get ice cream?”

“Okay ice cream, then we get you home before Bulma worries about you too much. And we can tell her about the movie.” Said Gohan.

“YAY Ice cream!!” Said the kids and they went to the Ice Cream Shoppe.

***

At Capsule Corp

While Pizza, Gohan, and the chibis had ice cream. Bulma was at least feeling cheered up. There was no news from Mirai, but Vegeta was probably right he would be back after all they still had the time machine capsule in her lab. She had checked, so now she was talking with Yamacha, Krillen,Piccolo and Goku Vegeta had called them to come help him convince the “Onna” the “future brat” wasn´t dead and having a good time. At 10 p.m. Gohan returned with the chibis, and his date.

“Kaasan, gotta hear about the movie we saw.” Said Bra and Trunks happily.

“Tousan, you came to visit!” Cried Pan she and Goten ran and hugged Goku.

“Hey dad.” Said Gohan.

“So how was the movie?” Asked Bulma,

“We liked it.” Said Gohan.

“Want to tell us what it was about?” Asked Goku.

“We can do better than that.” Said Bra.

Across the room Gohan felt a sudden feeling of dread that he couldn’t explain.

“We´ll perform some of it for you.” Trunks finished.

“Who will play what?” Asked Goten.

“Nii-chan can be Wesley. Pizza can be Buttercup and I guess we can make up everything else as we go along.” Said Bra.

“Right.” Said the others three. And before the adults could really get a grip of what was happening they scurried around the room and tried to get things set up for the telling of the story.

About twenty minutes later and after “bringing” more “participants” and an audience back to C.C. tje chibis production was ready to be performed. Bra and Trunks decided they were going to be the narraters, Pan decided to deal with the scenary and the props. Goten decided he only wanted to watch. So he sat with Bulma, and everyone else had been more or less drafted into the play.

“Okay.” Said Bra “This is the Princess Bride. We don’t have 2 hours so well just have to wing some of the stuff that we don’t have the time or the materials for.”

“You can always rent the DVD later.” Said Trunks.

“Okay once upon time there was this girl that lived on her father’s farm.”Said Bra. “There were three things she loved they were riding her horse tending the gardens and harrassing her father’s farmhand Westley.”

(The curtains open Pizza is wandering around with watering can and a bucket. She sees Gohan.)

Pizza: Farm boy. (Gohan turns to her)

My mother needs potatoes by nightfall. (she hands him a bucket)

Gohan: As you wish. (Pizza gives him a look and walks off.)

Trunks: As you wish is all he ever said.

Bra: I guess he doesn’t have a lot of exprience talking to girls then.

Trunks: This became like a ritual for them She would order him around he’d say as you wish and do it. One day he realized that when he was saying “as you wish” what he meant was “I love you.”

Bra: Why didn’t he just tell her? Boys just love to complicate things don’t they?

Trunks: Well one day she figures out that she loves him back.

(Curtains open again and Pizza is working in the kitchen. Gohan walks in drops some things off and begins to walk off stage again.)

Pizza: Farm boy. (Gohan pauses. Pizza looks around desperately then points off stage. Fetch me that pitcher. *Why can’t these darn props ever be where they are supposed to be?* she thought.

Gohan: As you wish.

(He goes to where Pizza is pointing and comes back carrying Yamcha. Bra and Trunks quickly realize his mistake and frantically try to gesture where the real pitcher is. Those who are in the audience are laughing.)

Pizza (Trying her best not to laugh): I guess I should’ve been more specific. I meant that one. (Points at directly where it is. Gohan blushes.)

Gohan: Right that one.( He goes back carrying Yamcha) Sorry about that.

Yamcha: No problem happens all the time. (Gohan gets the GLASS pitcher and takes it back to Pizza. He kisses her hand and leaves. Bra looks at Trunks in slight confusion.)

Trunks: He does kiss her at that part Does it matter what part he kisses?

Bra: I suppose not.

Off stage:

Gohan returned backstage to watch the next few scenes with the other actors. ” So who’s the new girl?” Asked Yamcha “She’s kinda cute. Think she’s too young to go out with me?” “She’s my date Yamcha.” Gohan answered defensively. “Well at least until this insanity has ended, She probably won’t take any of my calls after this. Heck, I’ll be lucky to get her phone number.” “Your date?” Asked Krillin. “Oh I thought she was here to play with the kids and give you a night away from them or something.” ” We’ll she is here to play with me okay?” Asked Gohan. ‘Wait a minute…’ His mental process went back over what he had said. “That did not come out right did it?” Yamcha and Krillin found thier selves trying not to laugh at Gohan’s error. “It’s was probably the wrong wording but it was the basic idea.” Said Krillin. “The word you were probably looking for was time with you.” Said Yamcha. “She is here to spend time with you not with the kids.” “Hey quiet” Said Oolong. “They’re starting again. ________________________________________________

(Back on stage):

Trunks: Westley didn’t have the money for marriage so he went on a ship travelling the sea. A month later Buttercup got the news the ship was attacked by the Dread Pirate Roberts. Everyone on board is believed to be dead Buttercup is distraught and locks herself in her room for weeks. One day she received a visitor.

(The curtain opens Pizza is in her room. someone is knocking on her door.) Pizza: Go away.

Vegeta: You won’t open the door even for a prince woman? (Pizza sighs and opens the door. Vegeta is there dressed like a prince.) Pizza: Forgive me for speaking my mind but I don’t really feel like receiving visitors right now. Even royal ones.

Vegeta: Look woman. My counselors say I need to get married for the good of the kingdom. They’ve checked pretty much everywhere and you are the best candidate.

Pizza: Funny, I thought only a princess could marry a prince.

Vegeta: Princess or something of equal value. But that’s their problem to sort out. Don’t worry they’ll make sure you pass. You will live at the palace, do good things for people, help with charaties, kiss babies, all of that kind of thing.

Pizza: I don’t think it’ll work.

Vegeta: Why not?

Pizza: I don’t love you.

Vegeta: It’s a business arrangement, woman, you don’t have to love me. So here’s the choice, Come with me willingly, live like royalty and do whatever you want. Or I will simply come back here with some troops burn the farm down, kill your family, and take you with me by force.

(Trunks slaps his forehead and Bra shakes her head. However considering who is playing the prince they realize they shouldn’t be surprised.)

Pizza: Well who can refuse a deal like that? (She holds out a hand to Vegeta, who takes it and they leave.)

Trunks: Time passes and shes’s accepted by the people as a princess and the Prince’s future bride.

Off stage

“Well, looks like she for got about you already.” Said Krillin as they got ready for their next scene. Remidnd me never to get on a ship that is going to be attacked by pirates.”
“I don’t think you have anything to worry about Krillin.” Said Yamcha rolling his eyes. ” 18 married you, I think you are good for at least four months. It’s when she tries to wish you back to life that you have to worry.” Krillin’s eyes went wide at that thought. “You’re right she’d probably think I’m trying to get rid of her or something. If I can’t get brought back by the wish.”

Back on stage:

Bra: Buttercup doesn’t love the prince, it’s Wesley that she has pledged to love, even though he is gone she is still crazy for him. (Shouts to the curtain) SO TAKE THAT YOU BRIDE STEALING LOSER!

Trunks: Bra…

Bra: Sorry, but that Prince Humpherdick was a spoiled brat that never grew up and always wanted his own way.

Trunks: I don’t think that was his name….

Bra: Sheesh he pays to get his wife killed just so he can start a war with his neighbors. (Trunks points Bra looks and sees the audience indicating that this is something that they don’t know about yet.) So what? I’m saving them some confusion. Besides we had to cut some of his parts because Dad wouldn’t do them and we don’t like the prince anyway. As I was saying she still liked to ride so…

(Curtain opens Pizza is riding a hobby horse across the stage. But she stops when she sees Krillin, Goku and Yamcha (As Vizzini, Fezzik and Indigo) approach her.)

Krillin: Excuse me, milady. We are three travelling circus performers. Is there some Village nearby that we can exchange our skills for food and a place for the night?

Pizza: There is nothing nearby not for miles.

Goku: No towns huh? Guess that is out the window then. What now, fishing?

Yamcha: What a waste of time.

Goku: So now what do we do?

Yamcha (pointing his sword at Pizza): Alright just hand over all your money and any Hoi Poi capsules you have and no one gets hurt.

(Bra and Trunks look at each other confused and then look through their notes.)

Krillin: What are you talking about? The reasons why I put up with you idiots is absolutely inconceivable!

Pizza: I’m kinda going with him here. I don’t know what you are talking about either. (She crosses her arms and looks at them sternly.)

Yamcha: A girl!

(Starts blubbering helplessly and hides behind a piece of scenery.)

Krillin: W…we’ll get back to you. (mutters under his breath as he goes after Yamcha) Maybe we should’ve gotten that stupid wish granted after all.

(A/N: Sorry, just had to play with that bit of Dragon Ball trivia. Yamcha used to be afraid of girls, because he didn’t know how to talk to them. When he heard about the dragonballs he was going to wish not to be afraid of girls anymore.

Goku: BULMA do something!

( Bulma places Goten on the floor and goes to Yamcha and kisses him.)

Pizza: Uh.. I guess that works.

Yamcha: What happened?

Bulma: Just a bit of deja’ vu. Let’s get back to the play okay?

Yamcha: Right. Where were we?

(Bra and Trunks have reached the end of their notes. And have reshuffled them back into place.)

Bra: Bakas! You are supposed to be KIDNAPPING HER not robbing her! Keep to the script will ya?

Pan (from behind the curtain): Bra, I doubt that a total of 32 note cards colored by which character is supposed to say what is considered a script.

Bra: Fine stick to the note cards.

Trunks: Although the more they don’t, the longer this play goes, and the longer we can stay up so there are a few advantages here.

(Goku, Yamcha and Krillin get back into character. Although they do have the random tree falling on Krillin and the horse getting lost in the bushes. By the time they get to the boat Krillin, being true to character is looking furious.)

Krillin: Once the horse reaches the castle, the fabric will make the Prince suspect the Guilderians have abducted his love. When he finds her body dead on the Guilder frontier, his suspicions will be totally confirmed.

Goku: Wait a minute You never said anything about killing anyone. (Yamcha loads Pizza into the boat.)

Krillin: I’ve hired you to help me start a war. That’s a prestigious line of work with a long and glorious tradition.

Goku: I just don’t think killing people is a good thing to do. I mean that makes us the bad guys doesn’t it?

Krillin (turning to look at Goku): Am I going mad or did the word “think” escape your lips? I didn’t hire you for you thinking skills, Mr Kame hame ha.

Yamcha: Actually I think he may have a point here. The contract didn’t say anything about cold blooded murder.

Krillin: ACTUALLY, what happens to her, after we leave her on foriegn soil, is THEIR problem to do with as they like. It isn’t your problem (points to Yamcha) it’s not my problem and it CERTAINLY isn’t this baka’s problem we do what we are paid for. Now get this tub started!

(Goku and Yamcha shrug and get to preparing the boat for cast off.)

Yamcha( softly): He certainly can fuss.

Goku: … fuss … fuss … I think he likes to scream at us.

Yamcha: Probably he means no harm.

Goku: But he’s really very short on charm.

Yamcha: You’ve a great gift for rhyme.

Goku: Well some of the time.

Krillin: Will you two cut that out? You have work to do!

(They continue “rowing” with Pizza in the middle of the boat.)

Yamcha: Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?

Goku: If there are, we’ll all be dead.

Krillin: No more rhymes now, I mean it.

Goku: Anybody want a peanut?

(holds a bag out to the passengers of the boat. Pizza nods. He removes the gag and feeds her. She bites his hand, gets out of the ropes and jumps over the side.)

Goku: If she wanted unsalted she should have just said so.

Krillin: BAKA!! She’s escaping!

Yamcha: Where can she go? We are in the middle of the sea and she’s fully clothed.

Krillin: She thinks she is safer out there than here. Inconcievable. I mean there are sharks, whales, sea weed, piranahas.

Yamcha: Not piranahas wrong part of the world. But there are jelly fish, and the screaming eels of course.

(Pizza seems to be rethinking her actions.)

Goku: She could also drown. You aren’t really leaving her to drown are you?

Krillin: She’s probably going to die anyway. Let her try and escape she drowns, we drop off her lifeless corpse. We don’t have to get our hands all bloody or anything… (Goku and Yamcha look at him in disgust)Krillin: HEY It’s not like I know how to swim!

Yamcha: I can’t swim either.

Goku: I’ll get her (Begins stripping his clothes)

Krillin: WHAT ARE YOU DOING???

Goku: Swimming with your clothes on is silly.

Pan (From behind the curtain): The water is fake Tousan. You aren’t really swimming. Just jump after her you’ll be dry promise.

Off stage:

Gohan watched what was progressing on the stage with relative horror. And began wondering what possessed him to bring Pizza with them. “She won’t take my calls and she’ll get a restraining order.” He mumbled to himself. “I should’ve just called Bulma to pick them up after the movie was over. Bringing her back here with four sugar high chibis dear dende was I THINKING!!??”

Back on stage:

(Goku jumps in the water and brings Pizza back. They continue rowing the boat.)

Krillin: I suppose you think you’re brave huh, highness?

Pizza: Only compared to some. (Yamcha is looking behind them across the stage.) Krillin: And what do you thing you’re doing?Yamcha: Just making sure no one is following us.

Krillin: What are you talking about? No one but our employer knows what has happened as the message can’t have gotten to the castle that soon without it’s rider. Why on earth would someone follow us?

Goku(Thinks and raises his hand): Our employer doesn’t trust us and sent someone else to finish the job?

Yamcha: He didn’t seem like the trusting type. Besides there is a boat.

Krillin: As I just finished telling the idea of someone coming after us is inconcievable, there must be another explination he could be a fisherman or something.

Bra: But he was wrong of course. It was actually the dread pirate roberts. He had found them and had come for the princess. In the interest of time constrants we will just tell you what we learn in the next half hour. Yamcha is out to avenge his father that got killed by a six fingered swordsman. Goku used to be some kind of fighter and just more or less got hired. Krillin got hired by Humperdick to kidnap the princess and get some lackeys to help him. Krillin’s character then dies in a battle of wits in which poison is used. Hunts for dick does know what is going on though. Get it? Got it? Good on with the show.

_________________________________________________

Curtain opens:

(“The Man in black” is running and pulling Pizza Buttercup with him across the stage.) Pizza: What do you think you are doing?

“Man in black”: It would seem I am rescuing you from a couple of pretty bad situations

Pizza: A couple?

“Man in black: Forced into an engagement to a man you do not love. And kidnapped by two bakas and their demented leader who doesn’t care if you are alive or dead as long as it fills his plan to start a war. The way I look at it you owe me.

Pizza: I owe you nothing. You can be no other than the dread pirate Roberts!

“Man in black”/Dread Pirate Roberts: So you have heard of me.

Pizza: Of course I have you cold hearted, black souled, bloody MURDERER!! (She tries to hit him he catches her hands.)

Dread Pirate Roberts: I take it you have a personal reason to be upset with me.

Pizza: You murdered my love.

Dread Pirate Roberts: Could be. I’ve killed a lot of people. Mostly in self-defence, actually. Apparently there are a lot of wannabes who feel they can only gain glory fame and title by defeating and killing me.

Pizza: I hope one of them succeeds.

Dread Pirate Roberts: I see… so who is this love of yours? Another pretty, egotistic lordling like this one?

Pizza: No. He was a farm boy. Simple.. Simple and perfect.. His name was westley.

Dread Pirate Roberts: I may have encountered him.

Pizza: You mock my pain!

Dread Pirate Roberts: Life is pain, highness, any one the says different is selling something. Or incredibly optimistic. Perhaps it is better for him if he is dead he doesn’t have to find out how you betrayed him. Did you get engaged to the prince an hour later? or did you wait a week to mourn for the dead? (Pizza looks him in anger and pain.)

Pizza: I loved him more than you can ever know. My heart died the day I learned he was gone and you can die too for all I care!

(Pizza shoves him and he rolls.) Dread Pirate Roberts voice distantly from off stage: As… you… wish…

Pizza: Wesley? What have I done? (She runs after him.)

(When the curtain opens again Pizza is kneeling near Dread pirate roberts, his mask.)

Gohan: Are you alright?

Pizza: You’re alive. I’m fine.

(She helps him up. They walk to the middle of the stage. and read a sign out loud.)

Gohan: “Fire Swamp closed for renovations please take the Labyrinth of Despair detour.” Labyrinth of Despair?

Pizza: “Closed for renovations?”

Pan (From behind again): Hey! YOU try getting giant rodents! Besides Kassan probably wouldn’t want all that lightning sand in the house and forget about those flame spurts! What do you want me to do? Ki blasts through the floor of the stage?

Gohan(looking over at Pizza a little nervously) Uhm… right… sorry.

Pizza: “Ki blasts” martial arts thing I guess. Okay the Labyrinth of Despair it is. (Gohan mouths a grateful prayer and follows her.)________________________________________________(Scene change again Labyrinth of Despair)

Pizza: So this is the Labyrinth of Despair. It’s big. How are we ever going to find our way?

Gohan: I don’t know a woodsman or something?
(They walk in and run into Piccolo in costume.)

Piccolo: What do you want?

Pizza: Sorry we… where are we going anyway?

Gohan: I have a boat if we can get through here, we can go wherever you want.

Pizza: Out of the labyrinth. I don’t suppose you know the way out do you?

Piccolo: No. (A vine knocks at his leg.) Alright, alright, yes I know the way out but what’s in it for me?

Gohan: We aren’t going to be here to bother you anymore?

Piccolo: I like being left alone, and you can go out the way you came in. (Vine knocks at his leg again) I have a magic axe that will make a path available to you. Though why I would let you have it is beyond me. (Vine smacks Piccolo on the head this time.) Alright! Have it your way! I am Piccolo, the grounds keeper here. This is string bean, my conscience and advisor in social situations. (Vine waves hello to Gohan and Pizza who just stare.)

Gohan: You’ve been here a long time haven’t you?

Piccolo: 20 or so years I kinda lost count. Want a job? (The vine doesn’t hit Piccolo this time but shakes itself as if shaking its head.)

Pizza: Come with us. I think we can make a bargain okay?

Piccolo: Alright I suppose, but you need to give me something for my trouble. Don’t blame me it’s the friggin rules around here.

Pizza (Looking in her pockets): I have a compass I could give you.

Piccolo: Is it yours to give freely?

Pizza: Yes.

Piccolo: Very well. (Takes the compass from Pizza and they go on their way.)

Piccolo: We have now reached the end and I am rid of you.

Pizza: Nice to meet you

Piccolo: Yeah yeah

Gohan: See you again sometime when you get out of here huh?

Piccolo: That’ll be the day. (Pizza and Gohan look at each other knowingly and leave They find themselves out of the frying pan and into the fire. 17 (Count Rugen) and guardsmen with weapons. Krillin, Puar and Oolong are there.)

Oolong: Surrender!

Gohan: No.

17 : Princess, your husband to be was concerned about you.

Pizza: I am sorry, I… was taken and this man rescued me.

17: That was very brave of you sir.

Gohan: I happened to witness the attempt and decided to see what I could do to help.

17: Yes, well you did well and now princess we need to get you back to the castle.

Gohan: Shouldn’t you ask the lady what she wants to do instead of making her choices for her?

17: Well, I was sent by the prince Humpherdick, sorry, HumpherDINCK to find the princess and bring her back to the safety of the castle. Where she can be protected until the wedding.

Oolong: We are not saying this again Surrender!

17: Will you shut up already we are not taking them prisoners or something knock it Off!

Oolong: But I never get to say it. (17 rolls his eyes.)

Pizza: I will go back with you, but he is a sailor on a ship. You will see that he gets back to it?

17: Of course my princess. It will be done. (Gohan looks at her. He know she suspects something but says nothing he does too. Pizza turns around and hugs Gohan.)

Pizza (So that only audience and Gohan can hear): I thought you were dead once, and it almost destroyed me. I could not bear it if you died again, not when I could save you. If I don’t go back they will kill you. Take care my love I will find you again. (Gohan nods and simply holds her. Pizza lets go and leaves with the guards. Gohan watches her leave and then turns to 17,)

17: Come sir, we must get you to your ship.

Gohan: We are men of action sir, lies to do not become us.

17: Well said. (Gohan is staring at him) What is it?

Gohan: You have six fingers on your right hand. Someone was looking for you. (17 turns and clubs Gohan and he falls curtain closes.)_______________________________________________

Trunks: So Westley is held for questioning about the kidnapping incident in the count’s lab. During the questioning he is given a glass of something he is allergic to and goes into a coma.

Bra: Meanwhile all these plans are going on for the wedding, the cleaning out of the thieves forest. Indigo and Fezzick and reunited and they learn the things that have been going on lately. One of which is that six finger man has been spotted at the castle. And the woman the man in black loves is going to be married to someone else. So they decide to go and find him to get his help.

(Curtain opens: Goku and Yamcha are in the forest.)

Goku: You know I’ve heard that the count keeps a secret lab around here.

Yamcha: I’ve heard, but we need to find it. Without the man in black I will never avenge my father’s murder. There are too many for just the two of us.

Goku: Someone is coming. (They hide behind a couple of trees. Puar and Oolong come out with Gohan in a wheelbarrow.)

Puar: I can’t believe this! What are we going to tell Count Rugen?

Oolong: He has lots of prisoners maybe he’ll forget about this one.

Puar: No, the princess wants him to be at the wedding. The prince promised to invite him but hasn’t sent the invitation. He said he’d sent ships or something.

Oolong: That is because he knows the man in black never left the country.

Puar: But… that makes no sense! Oh well I suppose the prince knows what he is doing. (Yamcha steps out of the trees his sword drawn.)

Yamcha: Hello. We are going to need to borrow your wheelbarrow.

Oolong (hands up in surrender): Take it.

Goku: It would be best if you go to sleep now. (He blows some dust out of his hand at them and they fall asleep. Yamcha looks at Goku strangely.)

Goku: We didn’t need to hurt them. Look the man in black is inside. I think he is asleep. (Yamcha checks him over)

Yamcha: They must have given him the interrogator’s special. Oh well my forefathers didn’t give in to defeat well and neither do I. Bring him with us. Do you have any money?

Goku: I have some.

Yamcha: Then let’s hope it’s enough for a miracle.

(Scene changes and Goku is holding Gohan as Yamacha knocks on a door.)

Voice: GO AWAY!
(Yamcha pounds on the door again. A window in the door opens and Master Roshi (miracle max) looks out.)

Roshi: What? What?

Yamcha: Are you the miracle worker that served the king for all those years?

Roshi: The King’s stinking son fired me. Called me a crackpot that little brat! And thank you so much for bringing up such a painful subject. While you’re at it, why don’t you give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it? We’re closed! (He shuts the window. They rap on the door.)

Roshi (opening the window): Beat it or I’ll call the Brute Squad.

Goku: I’m on the Brute Squad. What can I do for you?

Roshi (looking Goku over): You are the Brute Squad.

Yamcha: We need a miracle. It’s very important.

Roshi: Look, we’re out of business alright? You don’t want me I’ll probably put the guy in a coma.

Yamcha: He’s already in one. What else can you do to him?

Roshi: You got a point. I’ll see what I can do. (He unlocks the door and lets them in.)

Yamcha: I hope you don’t mind but we are in a terrible rush.

Roshi: Keep your shirt on. Rush a miracle man you get rotten miracles you got any money?

Yamcha: Sixty-five.

Roshi: Boy a real spender you are. I don’t often give charity you know.

Goku: That’s all we really have. Except this catalogue Victoria sent. (Hands the catalogue to Roshi who practically gets a nose bleed.)

Roshi: Well, well, yes… I see you are determined. What is this guy’s story anyway?

Goku: The count killed Indigo’s father and we are trying to get revenge for him. That and the prince kidnapped this guy’s girl friend. It’s true love you know? The kind worth fighting for.

Roshi: Hold on wait. You are saying that if I make him better… Humpherdinck suffers?

Yamcha: Humiliations galore.

Roshi: That is a noble cause give me the 65 and the magazine and I’m your man.

__________________________________________________

(At the castle)

(Pizza is looking upset Oolong in yet another shape shift is trying to cheer her up.)

Oolong: Princess you should be happy, you’re getting married.

Pizza: I could care less really. I don’t love him, and Westley will come for me.

Oolong: Yeah yeah sure, but do you really want someone like that over a prince?

Pizza: Actually yes I do.

Oolong: Come on, it’ll be the biggest shindig ever, lots a food, people that adore you an entire armada to escort you to your honeymoon, real impressive right? Can Westley give you that?

Pizza: Except four.

Oolong: Four?

Pizza: The ones he sent with my letter of course.

Oolong: Right, right not those four of course. (A look crosses over Pizza’s face.)

Pizza: Will you do me a favor?

Oolong: Are you going to stop looking at me like that? Sure sure what do you need princess?

Pizza: I forgot to invite my godfather to my wedding I feel so awful!

Oolong: Want me to send him some cake?

Pizza: He doesn’t live far actually. He lives by the Labyrinth of Despair. Do you know it?

Oolong: Yeah I know it.

Pizza: Could you go and invite him for me? (gives him a letter)

Oolong: Sure princess. (leaves with the letter.)

Pizza: I know you will come Westley, but you’re going to need all the help you can get.

_________________________________________________

(Back at miracle Max’s)

(Roshi works as Yamcha and Goku assist and look nervous .)

Yamcha: are you sure this going to work?

Roshi: Of course I’ve done this tons of times.

Yamcha: You gave him a pill dipped in chocolate the size of a walnut… (there is a knock at the door) Okay who ordered take out?

Goku: Nobody, sounds great though, I’m starving. (He goes to answer the door and sees Piccolo.)

Piccolo: Is the man in black here? His girlfriend said he could use a hand.

Yamcha: Sounds good to me but who are you?

Piccolo: I am the groundskeeper recently freed from the Labyrinth of Despair, figured I owed them something for that. I was growing tired of that stupid weed hitting me.

(Roshi and Yamcha look at each other and Roshi mouths “he’s nuts right?” Yamcha mouths “As long as he can use a weapon and is on our side I don’t care.”)

Goku: Nice to meet you we’re storming the castle to rescue Buttercup and avenge Indigo’s father death wanna come?

Piccolo: I didn’t have anything better to do. Have any of you got a plan?

Goku: Kinda, it’s in his head and he’s not awake right now.

(They all turn their attention to Gohan on the table waiting for him to wake up. The curtain closes.)

_________________________________________________

Trunks: So as the rebels plan their mission, the prince worried that something might still go wrong decides to pick up the pace a little.

(Curtain opens and Goku is dressed like a clergyman with Vegeta and Pizza in front of him.)

Goku: Mawidge…mawidge is what bwings us togewer today… Mawidge, the bwessed awwangement, that dweam wiffim a dweam…

(Vegeta and Pizza look at each other both looking like they are trapped and wanting to get out of this. Yet Goku continues a rather good impression of the IMPRESSIVE CLERGYMAN from the movie.)

Goku:… Ven wuv, twoo wuv, wiw fowwow you fowever…

(A loud noise is heard of stage with yelling. Vegeta give a nod to 17 who runs off to see what it is )… so tweasuwe your vruv..

Vegeta: Skip to the end.

Goku: Have you the wing?

(As Vegeta retrieves the ring the sounds of a fight are getting louder.)

Pizza: Here comes my Westley now.

(There are even more sounds of struggle.)

Goku: And do you, Pwincess Buwwercwup…

Vegeta: Man and wife you Baka! Say man and wife…

Goku: Man and wife.

(Vegeta turns to Bunni and Dr. Briefs (the King and Queen) .)

Vegeta: Escort the bride to the Honeymoon Suite — I’ll be there shortly. (He dashes off.)

Dr, Briefs: I don’t remember it being that short do you?

Bunni: No love, but it did seem strange didn’t it?

Pizza: He will come for me he will save me.

_________________________________________________

(17 is going down a corridor Yamcha sees him and chases him. They then proceed to have their sword fight all over the room. Yamcha says the “hello my name is Indigo Montoya, you killed my father prepare to die.” Multiple times and so on.)

Bulma: They certainly seem to be having a good time don’t they?

18: they certainly do.

Goku: Yep. They’re doing a good job.

Bulma: Aren’t you supposed to be on stage?

Goku: Not my scene yet. (Piccolo is fighting off multiple “Guards” with a sword.) Now it is.

(He picks up a sword and joins them. Complete Mayhem ensues.)_________________________________________________

The honeymoon suite

(Pizza is infront of the vanity and removes a dagger from a box.)

Gohan: You know that is a rather pretty dress, it would be a shame to get blood all over it.

Pizza: Westley. ( Puts down the dagger and takes him in her arms.) You came you came.

Gohan: The dagger was for your fiancee if I didn’t show huh?

Pizza: Of course. That or the sleep powder in the drawer depended on the mood I was in.

Gohan: Weren’t you going to wait for me?

Pizza: I figured… I knew you couldn’t take them all on yourself. I guess I was also upset because I was sure you would never forgive me.

Gohan: What hideous sin have you committed that you would think that?

Pizza: I got married. I didn’t want to. It all happened so fast.

Gohan: It never happened, love.

Pizza: What do you mean it didn’t? He said man and wife.

Gohan: Did you say I do?

Pizza: No, we skipped that part.

Gohan: That is why you’re not married. If you didn’t say it, you didn’t do it. Did she your highness? (Vegeta steps through the door.)

Vegeta: you’re right, but I think we can fix that small thing with your help. Come to think of it I don’t need your help.Let’s solve this little problem right now.

(He takes out his sword, Gohan gets up from the bed with his own sword.)

Gohan: aren’t you forgetting something? A battle cry of some sort?

Vegeta: Do I really have to do that?

Gohan: It’s in the note cards Vegeta.

Vegeta: I refuse.

Gohan: Makes my life simpler.

(Feints a move, Vegeta tired and bored goes for it anyway and Gohan knocks him on the head and Vegeta falls to his knees dazed momentarily. Yamcha and Piccolo arrive and help tie Vegeta to a chair.)

Yamcha: Hello, I am Indigo this is Piccolo we represent your raiders/rescue party for this evening. If you would come this way our companion Fezzik will probably have found some form of transportaion for us.

(He takes Pizza’s hand and Piccolo”assists” Gohan they jump off the stage. Goku is waiting on one side of the room with a pair of horses he got from heaven only knows where but they are real.)

Goku: Look I found horses. We can use them in our escape.

Yamcha: Great job Fezzik. (they help Pizza and Gohan onto a horse.)

Vegeta: Are one of you bakas going to untie me?

Goku: Can’t do that now we’re escaping but I’m sure Bulma will so it later.

Gohan to Pizza: This has been a really odd night hasn’t it?

Pizza: Oh I don’t know I rather enjoyed it. Uhm do you mind if I.. well it’s how the story ends you know.

Gohan: Mind what?

Pizza: If we do a real kiss this time.

Gohan: OH! Alright then I suppose.

( While they kiss Gohan instructs the horse to move forward and they ride out of the room still kissing. )

Yamcha: Whoops, runaway horse.

Goku: I’ll go catch up with it.

Trunks: Well that’s the end I hope you like it.

Bra: Yep thanks for coming.

(Everyone that is there bows and the curtain closes the audience claps the play is over.)

___________________________________________________

Outside

“Well that was certainly interesting.” Said Gohan after the kiss had ended.

“The kiss or the whole night?” Asked Pizza
“Both I think.” Said Gohan. “I hope my friends and family didn’t scar you for life or something.”

“No I had fun.” Pizza told him. “So what are we going to do about the horse?”

“Dad will take care of it, would you like me to give you a ride home?”

“Thanks, but I don’t live far from here.” Pizza answered. Then as if thinking about something that just came to her said.

“But I wouldn’t mind getting together again sometime.”

“Really you mean it?” Gohan asked

“Thought tonight scared me off?” Pizza asked with a laugh. “Fat chance, I had a great time.”

“Really? I’m glad you did. I did too.” Said Gohan at loss of what to say.

“So would you? Like to go out again I mean.” Said Pizza almost nervously.

“Wild horses could drag me away.” Said Gohan. “No offense meant.” He said to the horse patting it before it got in the creature’s head to throw them off. “So uhm when.. do you want to see each other again?” Pizza asked curiously

“Whenever you want to. I have no social life.” Said Gohan. ‘I can’t believe I just admitted that.’

Pizza laughed about it. “You’re honest though. How about tomorrow?” ‘Act cool act normal.’ “That would be fine I could show you around town and stuff. You’re new around here right?” “Yes I’m.. visiting with my aunt for a while.” That seemed to douse his enthusasim a little. She could tell he liked her. “I am considering moving and my aunt said around here was nice so i’m checking it out but I don’t know yet.” She looked at him. “But maybe you can convince me otherwise…?” “Maybe I can do just that.” Maybe it was flirting maybe not but it seemed so natural for both of them to be doing this he could tell she felt the same way. Like… they had known each other forever. He felt that way before but it had been a long time ago. And thinking about it would just reopen the wounds again so he wasn’t going to. But he liked being around Pizza. “Alright then.” he said and helped her off the horse. “See you at like seven thirty?” he asked. “Sure,” She answered “And you can bring those chibis of yours along to if they want to come.” “Right, maybe.” Said Gohan “Why are they coming again?”

“Because if they don’t they’ll think I’m stealing you away and get possibly jealous?” Pizza suggested.

“Right that would be bad.” Gohan agreed. He helped her off the horse and they shook on it.”Till tomorrow.”

“Till tomorrow.” she answered and walked of the property.

“Wow.” Was all Gohan could say as he watched her until he could no longer see her. _________________________________________________

Gohan was still standing in the same spot with the horse twenty minutes later when Goku came looking for him.”She went home?” Goku asked.

“Yep.” Said Gohan. “She’s staying with her aunt. We’re going to see each other tomorrow.”

“Should I cancel the package that is probably due to leave the house some time tomorrow?”

“Yeah you probably should.” Said Gohan not really paying attention. He was to busy thinking about Pizza and the good time they had. “Trunks and Bra want to build you your own room at C.C.” “That would be great.” “With a swimming pool filled with jello.” “That would be fine.” Goku guessed at that point Gohan’s mind was in another galaxy completely. “Pan says in ten years she is going to get engaged.” “Sounds good.” “To Yamcha.” “OVER MY DEAD DECAYING BODY!!” Said Gohan snapping out of it. In his own way he had adopted the chibis and that idea didn’t go over well with him at all. “There is no way that craddle robbing PERVERT is laying a hand on my Panny.” “Nice to see you back with us.” Said Goku with a smile. “I was pretty out of it wasn’t I?” Gohan asked. “She’s quite a girl, I don’t blame you.” Said Goku. “You like her?” Gohan asked. Goku nodded. “You think mom will?” “At this rate as long as it isn’t Frieza in a dress and you’re happy I don’t think she cares who you date” Goku answered. “Good.” said Gohan. “We better return the horses dad.” “No problem.” Said Goku and left to take care of it. Gohan looked at the sky. It had been a good day and he could hardly wait for tomorrow night. Elsewhere another looked at the sky who couldn’t wait for tomorrow night either. But felt a bit upset that tonight had come to end. Not sure what tomorrow morning had to offer.

To be continued…



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