Waiting For Someday
by Hentai Institute     More by this Writer
Mirai Trunks and Gohan are both thinking about their relationship with each other.

Written by Angelus and mi m'o



Chapter 01: We’re Still Here
Moments of happiness are fleeting; mythic, legendary and too few nowadays. It just figures, doesn’t it? I’ve waited years, maybe even lifetimes to feel the way that I do with you. Only to have it cursed and corrupted at each and every turn. I feel I’m walking in circles. I’m about to be sick.

It’s such a simple wish, this need to be with you and yet…I’ve spent my entire life with an empty desire that’s extinguished and eased by the mere comfort of your presence. I could cry with the enormity of my relief when you press your soft lips to mine and still…

Is it so unreasonable? To be content? Happy? This state of existence – is it even real? Why must others gain so sadistic a thrill from our joining? Is it envy? Or the human compulsion to destroy what is beautiful? Do they execute these wrenching feats with a smile? Are their actions even questioned? Of course not.

I’m tired of being a scapegoat, an excuse. It is not my nature to remain silent. But I do. For you. If you only knew how much pride it takes. Is it not my place to speak? No, my love for you outweighs this flaw I clutch so close.

But sometimes, like now, it’s so fucking hard not to return to you and beg and plead for us to just be together. I know you’re not happy. I’ve seen you, in my arms…the joy. This isn’t living! It’s barely surviving! I haven’t employed the word hate in an extremely long time. I hated the androids. I hated losing you in my time. I hated growing up without a father.

This.

This I hate.

Loathe.

Despise.

And it sucks so much, because you. You I love. You are the reason I remain, hell, why I came back in the first place. And why I must stay quiet and swallow my defense. I don’t want to hurt you, to pressure you; to make this more difficult than it has to be.

And yet, do we not have the right to this thing called happiness? We experienced it, so briefly that first night we kissed; that week we were together, with no one to answer to, to wake in your arms—that’s a Kami-damned novelty now.

I want that back. Neither of us deserve this. And I’ve spent what feels like an eternity trying to please the parents of my chosen mate. And I have found that I just can’t win at all. No matter what I do, what I say, your mother finds me annoying, too much like Father. I’m certain of it.

Your father, well, he’s not around much, is he? And when he is, it’s a rarity that he talks to us. He and your mother just find things to argue about.

Goten – Goten’s cute. Him, I can stand. It almost makes me wish that I had a brother… Almost. But I want it to be us, not them; not their irrational demands, their biting remarks of belittlement.

It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this small. Or this old. Or this much at fault. For what, when I’m finally graced with that awesome knowledge, I’ll be sure to pass it on. Until that fateful, calendar-worthy day. I’ll endure. Kami-sama, I’m a fighter but this is ridiculous! We’re not exchanging punches – your family’s beating the shit out of us! I think my ten seconds are just about up.

I’m so tired everyday, without fail. We’re accused, abused, refused, just used. I want it to end, lover, but I love you too much to speak this aloud. I don’t even know if you’ll ever even read this. Part of me prays to Kami you don’t. But if you did….

Would it make a difference? Would it change anything if I said I was leaving in four days with or without you? Would you even notice that my clothes were missing out of the closet? Or that my bag was packed? You’re at work now and you’d be there when I left even though you say you’re not going in if they call.

Well, Son Gohan saves the world again, ne? But I can’t hate you for that selflessness. It’s a part of you that I love and a part that infuriates me on a daily basis, like now. You promised me, Gohan. You promised that if it ever happened again, we could leave. I’ve got the time machine ready. It just needs a passenger….

And you swore if your mother ever brought up the subject of us again, we’d go. I don’t know why she reacts so violently to us being there. When I first moved in, I was more than welcome. I mean, what’s one more body in the Son clan, ne? But as soon as she found that it was just one more mouth to feed…

It’s amusing how we can continually save the world and still need jobs, ne, Gohan? And we found them as soon as we could, paid her the damn rent and waited patiently for her to get off our backs. But she’s never pacified, is she? Your father’s not around much to contradict her, or aid in our defense and you…you never tell her no.

I know you’re not me; that you don’t have my attitude, or my conviction, but it’s us now. And her word still wields more strength than mine. If you read this, would it change anything? Or would you apologize as you always seem to do and ask me to wait just a little longer, again.

Going back to my home is our only option, Gohan. We don’t make enough money to live on our own yet and I can’t ask Bulma for help. She’s not my mother. I don’t know what to do. I hate feeling helpless, but it just keeps kicking me in the ass, doesn’t it? I couldn’t save you the first time from the androids, and now…now I can’t seem to save you from this, either.

I love you. That’s what I know, that’s what’s easy. Everything else… I hate myself for writing this, for feeling like I do. You have enough on your mind without the added bother of me, but Kami. Gohan, do you know how much I love you?

Every minute without you I long to hold you, cradle you, tell you the stories of a future that could have been. Just wrap my arms around you, breathe in the intoxicating scent of light vanilla that finally convinces me I’ve found a place I can call home.
I think I must have known you in another life, another time, another something, because we don’t need the words your family seems so fond of screaming. And I feel like all the crap I’ve gone through in my life is worth it, because it all leads to you.

You whom I love more than – I’m shitty with comparisons. I was never good with words or apologies, you know that, but I’m sorry, Gohan. I’m sorry I’ve made your life so much harder than it was.

Do you think if I’d never come back, that you would be better off? Or would you swear up and down that you love me, need me, want me, as much as I do you? Would you beg me to stay, or listen to the bitchy, viperous words of your mother and let me go?

This isn’t an ultimatum. Kami knows I can’t leave you but I need to know. If I told you in four days that I’d be gone. Would you come with me?



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