Welcome to Boxer & Rice

“Um…” Heated kisses left him panting for breath. He wanted to lose himself in the moment but the eyes staring at him from all sides were making him too nervous. “K-King Vegeta? Er… perhaps we could..hmm.. go somewhere more.. oh.. private.” He managed to pant out between kisses.

King Vegeta slipped his hands inside the guard’s pants and smiled, “Why? They’re just fairies.”

“Yep, he’s right. Don’t mind us, we’re just fairies.” The fairies grinned. They had finished beating Cell to a bloody pulp and decided that watching King Vegeta and his new play thing was the next best thing since television.

Goku growled and firmly pushed against the king’s shoulders, “King Vegeta, I cannot do this while they’re watching.” He said firmly.

King Vegeta sighed and pulled his hands out of the guard’s pants, “Very well, we’ll get a room.”

“Oh! No! Please don’t!” The fairies cried as one, “We wanna’ watch!”

King Vegeta got to his feet. “Come along, servant.” He said to Goku.

Goku scrambled to his feet eagerly. The two left the great hall. The fairies all sighed together. “Damn.” One of the smaller fairies groaned, “We never get to have any fun.”

“Well…” Another fairy smiled, “We could create our own fun. Cell is lying over there, bound and unable to defend himself.”

There was a long, charged silence as the fairies turned to Cell. Cell, who had just regained consciousness and found himself tied up, saw the looks they were giving him and shuddered in fear. “Dear God, no!” He cried as they advanced, “Please! Kill me! Anything but fairy love!!!”

***

Beauty collapsed to the ground, panting hard. Gohan landed beside him. Together they lay on their backs and stared up at the sky. “You’re good.” Beauty panted.

“You’re even better.” Gohan said with a smile.

Beauty turned to his side, resting his chin on his hand. “So… this is almost like a fairy tale or something.. isn't it?”

Gohan grinned, “If it was I would be Prince Charming and you the beautiful princess.”

Beauty blushed, “You think I’m beautiful?”

“I’m be crazy not to!” Gohan responded, “You’re gorgeous, beyond beautiful really… If there is anything beyond beautiful.”

“Well…” Beauty blushed, playing with a blade of grass and trying not to look at Gohan, “If you’re Prince Charming, and I’m the beautiful princess… then technically you saved me.. didn’t you? Woke me from the wicked witch's spell…”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“With a kiss…” Beauty sighed, “I don’t remember.. much about the kiss. Will you.. do it again?”

“Well, being Prince Charming I think.. I’m supposed to.” Gohan leaned close, until their noses were almost touching.

“Really?”

“Haven’t you read any fairy tales before? Since I rescued you, the princess, I get to marry you.”

“Do you?” Beauty whispered, eyes wandering to Gohan’s lips. He’d never kissed anyone before.. well, except the occasional frog but that was only because someone had told him if he kissed the right frog it might turn into a prince.

“I do.”

Beauty blushed, looking down shyly, “I think you’re supposed to say that at the wedding ceremony…”

Gohan laughed and cupped Beauty’s cheek with his hand. “Will you marry me?”

“It’ll violate every fairy tale ever written… yah. I’ll marry you, but only if you kiss me.. now.”

Gohan obliged. Leaning forward and pressing his lips against Beauty’s. Beauty moaned, surprised by the eager tongue that slid into his mouth. This was nothing like kissing those frogs!

***

“Wait!” Goku cried, panic seizing him as the king threw him onto the bed. He scrambled off the other side of the bed. “W-wait!”

“What is it?” King Vegeta demanded, placing his hands on his hips.

“Well it’s just…” Goku felt heat blushing his cheeks. He rubbed his hands furiously together, “I.. I forgot…”

“Forgot what exactly?” King Vegeta arched his eyebrows.

“Well… I uh… I’m sorta’… married already.” Goku said nervously, hardly daring to look at the king.

King Vegeta raised his eyebrows, “Oh? To a man?”

“No! To a.. a woman. H-her name is ChiChi and she’s going to /kill/ me.”

King Vegeta snorted disbelievingly, “Oh, come now. What woman could possibly touch you?… Excuse me. You said her name was ChiChi? Where could I find her?”

“Oh.. in the kingdom southwest from here.”

Strange little light bulbs appeared over King Vegeta’s head, Goku watched with fascination. “How.. how did you do that?” he whispered.

King Vegeta ignored him, “ChiChi?! Queen ChiChi is your /wife/?!”

“Er.. yeah.”

“Then you’re the King!?”

“Er… yeah.”

“AAAHHH!!!” King Vegeta bellowed, grabbing his head and pulling at his hair, “I can’t believe this!”

“Erm….” Goku backed away until his back hit the wall.

“I /hate/ that bitch! All these years I've been trying to figure out how she /always/ knows every move my kingdom makes. For years I've been trying to figure out who her spy was and it was /you/!” King Vegeta pointed an accusing finger at Goku.

“Spy? Me?” Goku’s eyes widened.

“It was you who told her all that information about my kingdom, wasn't it???!”

“Well… not really… I mean she would send me letters, and ask me questions about… the castle and stuff…but… oh shit.” Goku’s face fell as he made the connection, “I.. I guess I was the spy.”

“Well, not anymore.” King Vegeta moved so fast it took Goku a few seconds to figure out what exactly was stealing his breath.

His eyes widened as King Vegeta tried to reach his tonsils. He tried to speak, but, of course, it’s practically impossible to speak when you’ve got a tongue, other than your own, down your throat. Finally, King Vegeta pulled away from the kiss, a wicked smile on his lips. “You’re going home.” He said, removing Goku’s pants and shorts with one, swift tug.

“Wh-what?” Goku gasped, shaking with pleasure as King Vegeta rubbed against his arousal.

“You’re going home, you’re going to write /me/ letters and you’re going to be my spy.” King Vegeta smiled widely, proud of his idea.

“You mean sp-spy on my wife?” Goku asked incredulously.

“That’s right.”

“Hmm..” Goku moaned as King Vegeta kissed him again.

“You and I are going to bring that /woman/ down. I will enjoy making her suffer!” King Vegeta chuckled evilly, “But, enough talking!”

“Oh… oh…” Goku gasped, grabbing King Vegeta’s shoulders. “D-do that again?”

“What? This?” King Vegeta trailed his hand down Goku’s chest, tickling lightly.

Goku gasped, eyes rolling up. “Oh, gawd! YES!”

King Vegeta’s eyebrows flew up. “Tickling turns you on?” He questioned, running his fingers lightly up Goku’s sides.

“AH!” The response to his question wasn't given in words. King Vegeta looked down, surprised.

“Now you've made me all wet.” He scolded lightly, “Remind me not to tickle you.”

“Oh…” Goku sighed, relaxing and sliding down the wall.

King Vegeta caught him and dragged him to the bed, “Silly servant. Have you no staying power?”

“No-not really but… I..” Goku blushed, “Rise to any occasion?”

King Vegeta laughed, “Good.”

***

“What’s wrong?” Gohan whispered, crawling back up Beauty’s chest, a worried frown creasing his brow.

“I.. I.. I’ve never…” Beauty flushed miserably. He was shaking so hard his teeth were rattling.

“Not even with a girl?” Gohan asked, eyes widening.

Beauty shook his head mutely, biting hard on his lower lip. “You don’t have to be afraid. I wouldn't hurt you for the world.” Gohan kissed Beauty’s nose, smiling warmly as he drew back.

“I.. I don’t know what.. to do..”

“That’s all right.” Gohan caressed Beauty’s cheek, “Just let me do everything this time.”

He wiggled back down Beauty’s chest, kissing and nipping all the way down. “Now pay attention, I’ll be quizzing you.” Gohan said with a mischievous smile as he licked the area around Beauty’s arousal.

“Oh..” Beauty gasped, arching his hips. He wanted.. well, he wasn't really sure /what/ he wanted. He just knew that whatever Gohan was doing, it felt really good. Then suddenly a warm, firm suction cupped the head of his arousal and he cried out at the pleasure that coursed through his body.

***

Goku grabbed a nearby pillow and pulled it to his mouth. He bit into it to muffle his cries. It took King Vegeta, since he was otherwise occupied, a few minutes to realize what had happened. As soon as he did, he leaned over Goku’s back and grabbed the pillow, whacking Goku in the head with it a few times before tossing the pillow across the room. “Cry out servant! I want to hear your pleasure!”

Goku moaned, tossing his head, “The least you could do is stop calling for this ‘Servant’ guy. I told you! My name is Goku! Who is Servant anyway?”

King Vegeta growled, grabbing Goku’s hips so he could move faster. “Shut up!”

“But you just told me-”

“I want to hear you crying out, not talking you idiot!”

“oh…. sorry…” He quickly forgot /how/ to speak as King Vegeta did his best to slam poor Goku through the headboard.

***

“GOHAN!” Beauty came violently, arching his hips into the air as black spots filled his vision.

Gohan licked him clean, then crawled up so they were nose to nose. “See? That wasn't so bad, was it?” he asked teasingly.

“I.. I can’t see.” Beauty whispered shakily.

Gohan chuckled, kissing Beauty lightly. “You’ll recover. My turn.”

“Your turn?” Beauty blinked hard, trying to clear his vision. Slowly Gohan came back into focus.

“Uh huh. Time for that quiz.” Gohan rolled onto his back so the boys were laying side by side. “Show me what you learned.”

Beauty swallowed nervously, eyes traveling down Gohan’s body. Then, he nodded, “All right, and if I pass?”

“You’ll get a reward, of course.” Gohan chuckled.

“Sounds yummy.” Beauty smiled wickedly and went to work showing Gohan just how much he had learned.

***

“I think I’ll keep you.” King Vegeta announced sleepily as he buried his head in Goku’s neck.

Goku sighed. “I’m so sore… I don’t think I’ll be able to sit for weeks.” He groaned.

King Vegeta smirked evilly, “Good, then as soon as you can sit again you’ll leave for your kingdom. That’ll give us just enough time to ‘get to know’ each other.”

Goku groaned again, “I’m starting to think ChiChi is the lesser evil.” He muttered.

King Vegeta laughed, highly amused. “You’re mine now, servant. I’m never letting you go.”

***

Gohan pulled Beauty into his arms, hugging his new lover tightly. “Think we should head back?” He asked softly.

“I don’t wanna’ move.” Beauty murmured, rubbing his cheek against Gohan’s chest.

Gohan chuckled, “Just you wait. If you thought that was mind-blowing.. you’ll die when I show you the rest.”

“The.. rest?” Beauty looked up, a look of faint worry on his pretty face, “There’s… more?”

“Oh yes.” Gohan started to laugh, “There is soo much more and I’m going to teach it all to you! MWAHAHAHA!”

Beauty’s eyes widened, “Erm.. Gohan? Could you please not laugh like that? You sound like … well, my father when he’s be-heading peasants.”

“Oh.. sorry.” Gohan smiled sheepishly, “I won’t do it again.”

“Promise?”

“Yeah.”

Beauty smiled widely, “Then, I forgive you.” He laid his head on Gohan’s chest and within moments he was sleeping. His dreams were full of psycho half-man, half-frog creatures who kept kissing him. Strangely enough all the creatures had Gohan’s face.

***

And they lived happily ever after… or at least they did until ChiChi discovered /why/ Goku had returned home and the war started but.. that’s not important.