Almost Out, But Never In
by Ardin     More by this Writer
After Goku's revival following Cell. He begins to see life the way he had when he was a boy. With new found thoughts he seeks to speak with someone who he had admired for quite some time.
Image by 'Karu Ichita' from the book 'Time Limit'



Chapter 01
Above there was blue, and below there was green and there in the middle of it all, was me. How I wished it black. It would be easier there, sitting in a corner and watching the world go by... going on by without me. To my right there was a boy. His body still growing and hands coming into frame. He smiled when the sun was high and I smiled to. Little did Gohan know that for the first time in my life I was thinking 'enjoy today, because it may all be broken tomorrow'

A Few Days Earlier

It was barley past 10:00am on the morning of May 23rd. Hailstorms had been forecast to arrive around noon, the darkness stalking like a cat. Swishing the tea dregs about my cup, Chichi cleared away the dishes. The imitation china chipping and clipping. There and back again, death was basically a theme. One more thing worth the risk. Besides the pain, it was fine. Nothing mattered when you stood within the clouds. Where things were weightless and bewilderment your only worry. Nevertheless, when the memories came... death simply wasn't 'dead' enough.

Steadily Chichi's elbows moved in and out as she cleaned, her dress shifting like an old woman's skin. We weren't so young anymore. It never really occurred to me until now. I had always known I was strange, wrong in the head I guess. Grandpa never explained those things. Nowadays I wondered if he would have... If I asked... Kami I missed him. Staring out the window, I slumped in the old mahogany chair. One of a set. The wood was dull and worn. Barley held together but for a few tiny nails. It reminded me of certain other things... things which also were drifting, floating and fading away. The misleading notion was gone. Outside Autumn leaves waltzed the air. Down and out from the fable. There were so many people to let down and yet no one to talk to. I felt rutted by it, cast out by my own disgrace. It was so much easier then. Prior the pact. Former the story. Before I was married and before Gohan. Did I regret any of it? No. Did I want a second chance? All the time.

Slowly I was becoming like stone, sitting at home for the air to wear me down. I wanted that interruption, that release, simply that spell in which I would become something else. It was a poor excuse I know. But how the world distracted me, how they all did. Preceding May 23rd I meet a boy, three years gone, I saw a gentleman. Yet never once did I know him. By no means did I think, 'there isn't much time'. Opening the door a voyager halted upon the porch. Allowing long hair to fall forward in greeting. He always looked as if in a world of his own.

"Hey Goku."

"Hello there" four feet shifted.

"Dad's training downstairs... I'll get him if you like?"

"No thanks..." I hesitated, a little wordless "No ones that game" he laughed at me.

"Looks like some storm huh?" we both glanced to the East.

"I like storms."

"Hah..." the silence fell "You looking for Gohan?" Shaking my head he placed a hand on the door. As if to signal his want to be elsewhere. Timidly my lips parted and words formed in my head. Waiting, holding and feeling my breath they finally climbed. Merely to become... something lesser.

"Just a little bored I guess"

"Well... I'm not busy or anything. Wanna come in?" Trunks motioned as the clouds rolled on. In a mindless fallacy I ascended the steps ... wondering 'do you ever think about it?'

Drifting down the hall, Trunks attained the movement of a python. Swaying like a willow branch in a trouble-free breeze. Whilst all I could do was glance. Stopping at the landing, which overlooked the lounge. Everything matched a jigsaw puzzle, as memories lay scattered about like opinions. "I was looking through some old albums." he meekly shrugged. "Don't have them at home"

"Oh Right. Looking forward to going back?"

"Guess so." both eyes shifted. "You want a drink or something?" shaking my head we just stood there... in the middle of the living room.

"Trunks, can I ask you something" I took place upon the sofa.

"Sure..."

"Do you want to go home?" Switching off the television, he moved to the adjoining armchair.

"Of course I do." the tempest screamed outside "I miss mom a lot. She needs me and so does everyone else. I am strong enough to destroy the androids now." I leaned out from my seat. "But... if you mean will I miss this time, yeah. I am ganna miss dad a lot, and Gohan, and you." I knew there was no underlying message or hidden agenda, nevertheless I smiled.

"We'll miss you to. Things will work themselves out." the room became demonstrative "Hey! You will still have the time machine right? So you can come back visit whenever you want." Reliving both eyes from the carpet, Trunks laughed lightly.

"That would be good"

"It sure would. See, no worries." Without due thought, I carelessly shook his knee like a child. The blue material rough against the smooth feel of flesh. Though my stomach lurched with anxiety, one thought couldn't help but course 'Kami your handsome Trunks'. Well, I either squeezed to hard, or held him to long. For the young man gave me the oddest look – clear perplexingly tainted with a little distaste. Removing myself to the sofa, he released a guarded breath. In spite of everything I didn't feel sorry, only... happy, in the strangest way. With a thunder crack our heads turned in silence. Staring toward the ceiling as if half expecting it to cave in.

"There goes the rain" I muttered with relief in distraction.

"Uh huh."

"I like the rain" I pointed out. "I also like lightening, Gohan doesn't, he said that it...."

"Goku?" Trunks interrupted.

"Yes..." Leaning forward the man stroked his brow before pushing back.

"D-did you" he paused "Ever not do the right thing?" Cobalt eyes squinted then, as if trying to blur the situation. "Did you ever want to?" Absently I ran a hand over my knee, feeling confusion swell.

"What do you mean?" Sharply his lips tightened and Trunks only stared for a moment.

"N-nothing..." he gazed to the carpet. "I'm just talking... never mind." Witnessing his face shadow, I moved along the sofa to sit a breath away.

"Uhm" Glancing to the window, droplets wound the pane. "You want to talk about something?" He turned away "I'm good at keeping secrets... remember" He made a small sound, a sighed like laugh I hoped.

"Yeah, I know I can trust you Goku. But it's okay." Trunks smiled and straightened in the seat. "It's not really important" As the clock struck 2pm I noticed that the rain had steadied, creating a dull hiss upon the roof. Yet all in all I wasn't paying much attention to the storm. Sighing aloud Trunks motioned outward for inevitably, words began to spill. Adjusting myself upon the sofa the young man lowered his tone. A wave of pressure coming across in his voice. "I'd always known I was different, not right ya know" two hands wrung. "Mum doesn't have any idea. I can't tell her, I know she would be so disappointed. Maybe even a little angry. I hate to think of dad's opinion" I nodded evenly, though baffled. "It's hard... sounds cliché but I wish I could be just like everyone else, it's tiring." With a meek reverberation my lips calmly parted. Ultimately breaking the atmosphere.

"If you think Vegeta thinks less of you because of it your wrong. You tried to beat Cell with all you had, we all did." I smiled at him "Bulma wouldn't care. Why so worried?" Trunks barley breathed for a good few seconds. His hair didn't even move. Squeezing both eyes the young man readily leaned forward with a beseeching expression.

"I'm not talking about Cell Goku." he rushed beneath his breath.

"Your not?"

"No...I'm not" Dropping his head for a moment, Trunks throat briefly juddered. I felt cold on the surface, unwittingly causing him unidentified woe. Upon the blue carpet white socks tapped and hands tightened. I didn't know what to say, I didn't know what was troubling him. I wanted to console Trunks with all my heart. To hold him close and press my cheek to his head... stroking back that long lilac hair and whispering away the hurt. Wiping his eyes the young man turned away with a burning tint. As embarrassment ran rampant across both cheeks. Absently I rubbed my arm, shifting forward to place a hand upon his knee. Squeezing the item gently I gained a momentarily glance. Before Trunks stared into the action with nothing above a ghost's unease.

"Trunks cheer up, I don't like seeing you this way." He smiled for a second in childlike gaze.

"You don't?" patting his knee I shook my head.

"Of course not, you're my friend" Smiling weakly the young man nodded with a mellowed appearance. The rain had stopped, and wind had died. The storm all but gone. A fitting time. Breathing a heaved sigh my muscles tightened as I retracted to take stand with thoughts of tomorrow.

"Wait, don't go Goku" his voice stressed to create pressure about my hand. Snatching his touch from mine, the young man sat back down. "Sorry, I mean, sure you can't stay longer?"



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