Y’know, I really thought that when he came back, things would be better for me. I fell in love with Mirai Trunks the day I met him. And when he left, I hated myself for not telling him about my feelings for him.
It wasn’t like I could hope that he would come back for me because he knew that I was in love with him and would decided that he loved me too.
But I didn’t tell him. And he remained gone.
My mother and father split up a few years ago. While a lot of people were hoping that they would pull through, in the end they didn’t. It wasn't a bad thing for them or anything. It wasn't like it was one of those horrible break ups that take years and years of misery and time from each person just to get to the point where they hate each other’s guts and never want to speak to each other again. I think it was just something that they both had decided on.
Dad was almost never around for mom, and while he had his reasons, she needed someone to be there for her. So, when he came back that second time after Goten was born, the lack of emotional love they displayed towards each other didn’t really surprise anyone.
I honestly think that they decided to split up without even needing to say anything about it to each other, like one of those unspoken things. You don’t say you think that it’s over when you know that it is.
The most they tried for was a small friendship, so that things wouldn't be too awkward for Goten and it worked out just fine for them.
I just wished that they would stay together because I missed the way things used to be. Once dad came back, it just seemed so unfair that he had to leave again. He was still alive, but he wasn't with us anymore.
Of course, he built himself a small house nearby, and came to visit for spars as often as he could but it just wasn't the same.
Eventually, I moved in with him. I guess it was because I had lived with my mother long enough, and since he was gone for so long I wanted to be near him.
I wasn't too worried about leaving her alone. She had Goten now,and it was only an hour walk and five minute flight away.
When I saw the house that my father had built for himself for the first time, I was actually impressed. Very impressed! It wasn't big or anything like that, in fact it was probably the same size as our old house but it was built very nicely with strong lumber, with a guest room, fireplace, a small kitchen, and even a few bear skin rugs for the living room, my new room, as well as his.
I had no idea that my father knew how to decorate before I entered that house.
I figured that he was a lot smarter than what he led people to believe at that point.
I would later find out that it was Bulma who had helped him with the plans, but it still impressed me none the less.
After all, anyone else would take the easy way out and buy a capsule house.
For the first few years, things were great living there. I loved it. We would go fishing together, hunting, sparring. And I had to do almost no studying.
I was in heaven!
Then, just when I though things couldn’t get anymore perfect, he came back!
I couldn't believe my eyes the first time I saw him. Even though the time machine was directly behind him. Looking around at his surroundings in awe. Admiring the beautiful scenery of the forest that he so rarely saw in his own time.
He then seemed to notice that I was nearby. Watching him as if I had just seen a ghost.
He smiled brightly and I melted.
“Hey, Gohan!” He greeted in that sexy voice of his, walking towards me since my legs refused to budge.
“Uh, hey Trunks.” I replied like some kind of zombie. Damn, it was so hard just standing there and simply looking at him after all that time he was gone! I wanted to throw my arms around him, I wanted to kiss him, but most of all I wanted to fuck him.
I tried to shake the thought from my head. No matter how delightful something like that would be, it would have to wait. He just got back, and for all I knew there was some kind of knew threat to worry about.
Thankfully, he explained to me that there was nothing to worry about, but sadly, Bulma had passed away in his time. And since he had no clue how to run Capsule Corp and no family to tie him down, he left the company to one of his mother’s most trusted employees before charging up his time machine and heading here.
I was thrilled that he was back, but honestly wished that it didn’t take Bulma’s death to get him here. I don’t know how long it’s been for him, but at the sad sight in his eyes by the mention of her name I could tell that it was still bothering him.
“Is this your house?” He asked, looking at the cabin.
I blinked at him, forgetting for a moment that since he’s been gone for so long then he wouldn't know about my parent's separation. So, I explained the situation.
“Oh, I’m so sorry, Gohan.” Mirai said sympathetically.
I waved it off with my hand. “Don’t worry about it. It was something that they both wanted in the end, so they’re actually a lot happier now.”
I nodded. “Ya', mom’s even going back out on dates!” I said with a grin.
I may not like that they split up but somehow Trunks being back made it seem alright again. So, I didn’t mind explaining it to him.
He started to look around. “So, is Goku around?” He asked.
I nodded. “Ya', actually, he just went off to chop down a few trees.” I explained. No sooner did those words leave my lips did a loud booming sound echo throughout the forest, along with the distant squawking of hundreds of annoyed birds. I couldn't help but grin.
Dad always had to find the best lumber before chopping down any trees, and it appeared as if this months tree was full of animals.
Suddenly, he appeared before us, grinning like an idiot with two fingers to his head and one hand on the giant tree he’d cut. His eyes immediately landed on Mirai.
“Hey, Trunks!” He greeted cheerily, letting go of the tree and coming on over. “I thought I sensed you here, but I wasn't too sure if it was actually you or not!” He said excitedly, looking him up and down in approval. “You got stronger.”
Mirai blushed, that cute little blush that he does whenever someone compliments him. “Yeah, well, I've been training a lot lately.” He explained, a hand behind his head in slight embarrassment.
Dad nodded before turning his head to me. “Gohan, why don’t you head inside and call Bulma and the others. I’m sure Vegeta sensed him by now, but with the way he is he probably would just wait for everyone to figure it out on their own.” He said with a grin.
“Sure thing, Dad.” I said, quickly heading on inside and towards the kitchen to where we kept the phone. Dad barely knew how to use it, so it didn’t bother me when he asked me to leave Trunks’s side to go and call everyone.
We hardly ever used the thing actually. It’s mainly just so that Bulma and mom could call us. In case there’s some kind of threat nearby, or if Goten wanted to come on over.
When I finished with that, I practically slammed the phone back onto the cradle in my haste to get back outside. I was so excited that Mirai actually came back, because now I finally had the chance to tell him how I felt about him.
And I wasn't about to let that get away.
When I got back outside, practically skipping in my good mood, I headed for the backyard where I knew my father and Mirai were.
When I got there, I stopped dead in my tracks when my eyes landed on them. And I was horrified with what I was seeing. My eyes wide and my face cold from the lack of blood in it.
My father and Mirai, in the middle of the grassy yard, locked in what was obviously more than just a friendly little kiss.
I was completely heartbroken, my throat felt tight and my stomach was doing painful flips, and the stinging sensation of tears in my eyes did nothing to help either.
There they were, my father and the love of my life, holding each other and kissing deeply. And I truly felt sick to my stomach when my dad put his hand in Trunks’s hair to deepen their kiss, causing a delighted moan to erupt from Mirai’s throat.
I quickly turned on my heel and left there as fast as I could. Praying that they hadn't noticed I was there, but at the same time kind of doubting that they did.
I didn’t get too far before I collapsed on my hands and knees, tears furiously streaming down my cheeks, and my heart mercilessly pounding in my chest. I felt like I couldn't breathe, like there was a ton of weight on my chest that made it impossible while I gasped for air.
You never really know what people mean by “heartbreak” until you experience it for yourself. It hurts like a mother fucker.
A few hours later, I had calmed down enough to notice and be thankful for the fact that I was near the river. I looked at my reflection in the water and I looked horrible. So I used the cold water to wash my face before heading back.
Hoping to slip into bed without anyone noticing that I had been crying.
There was a small gathering already there by the time I got back, and everyone was so fixed onto the fact that Mirai was back that no one even noticed I had left, much less came back.
All except for Mirai.
“Gohan, what happened to you?” He asked me quietly, heading me off before I could get to my room.
I hated that he noticed how bad I still looked but at the same time was thankful that he was keeping it quiet. Because so far no one else had noticed that I came in, and I really didn’t feel like letting them all know I was back.
I put my head down to hide the redness around my eyes. “Nothing, Trunks,” I lied miserably. “I was up really late last night, so I’m just tired now. You won’t mind if I head to bed early, will you?”
I don’t know if he believed me or not but if he didn’t then he must have known that I wanted to be left alone. So he nodded in response to my lie before allowing me to pass to my room.
That would turn out to be one of the worst nights of my life.
That night I figured that Trunks had wouldn't be staying at Capsule Corp with the rest of his family by the sounds he and my father were making. They didn’t waste any time going at it when everyone had left. And with their room right next to mine, I could hear it all perfectly, even when I tried to smother it out with a pillow.
I cried myself to sleep that night. Chanting over and over in my head that if my father was happy and that Mirai was happy then I should be happy. But that hardly did anything to help. Mirai should have been with me that night, not my father.
The next few months were like a hell on earth. Always being able to see the one you love holding the hand and kissing the lips of another is like a knife in your chest that never gets pulled out and never heals. And what was worse, I had to suck it up and deal with it.
They just seemed so… happy together. I really didn’t want to do anything to ruin that.
I almost did though. Only once, but still.
I think Mirai had been living with us for nearly a year and after all that time of hearing him and my father going at it in the next room, cuddling and kissing, I think I just snapped.
We had been having a rather tough spar outside that day and it was my turn to go up against my dad. Trunks had been beaten up enough, so he flew down to a grassy patch on the ground before laying down for a rest and to watch us.
He may be a hell'uva a lot stronger than the Trunks of our time but we’re still a lot stronger than he is. So, we didn’t blame him for needing the break.
I didn’t mean to power up so high when we fought, but I guess I just got angry with him. For stealing Mirai from me. It enraged me, and I continued to power up as I attacked him.
Dad being dad, didn’t think anything of it. If anything, he just thought that I was simply turning it up a notch, so he did too.
Eventually things got so bad and our attacks got so strong, that out of the corner of my eye I could see Mirai shielding his eyes against the brightness of our attacks. And with the way my father and I were angled, when he sent out that powerful attack and I flew out of the way of it, Trunks didn’t see it coming until it was too late.
He was hit, bad.
We both just hovered there, slowly powering down in our shock of what had just happened, waiting for the dust to settle.
When it did, there was crater so large that I was sure it could be seen from outer space, and he was at the very bottom of it.
So still, and unmoving. Mangled and beaten with his limbs twisted in unnatural positions.
I gasped in horror at the sight, and I could hear my father screaming his name in the back of my mind as he quickly flew down to be at his side. I remained in the air, hardly able to believe what I was seeing.
My heart went into my throat when I watched him check for a pulse, but when he took his hand away and gently picked him up before flying for home, I just had to follow.
“Is he alright?!” I asked desperately, tears brimming my eyes at the sight of his limp form in my father’s arms.
Dad’s voice was filled with worry, but he was doing a good job of keeping it under control considering what had just happened. “He’ll-he’ll be fine. We just need to get him a senzu bean and he’ll be fine.” Was the answer he gave before looking down into Mirai’s bloody face, tears streaming down his cheeks as he choked out the last part to him. “I-I’m sorry.” He whispered to the time traveler in his arms.
I had never felt so much guilt before in my life. It wasn't dad’s fault that he got hurt, it was mine. For powering up so much like that when it was only supposed to be a friendly spar. I knew better than to say so. My dad was the kind of person who would simply shrug off something like that and continue to blame himself anyway.
In his mind, he was the one to shoot him, so his current condition was all his fault. If anything I thought it best to give him a day or two to think before trying to tell him otherwise.
When we finally touched down to the house, dad wasted no time in heading inside before gently placing him onto the couch. Leaving to try and remember where he kept the spare senzu beans since it had been so long since any were needed. And I was given strict orders to stay and watch over him.
I got out a cool wet cloth before washing all the blood and dirt off his beautiful face, and then I had to take his broken arm and snap it back into place for him. Wincing as he cried out in his sleep. In case there weren't any senzu beans in the house and we were stuck doing things the normal way, I figured it would be best to get that part done and over with as soon as possible.
I was there with him for about five minutes, cleaning up his cuts and the blood while my dad practically turned the whole house upside down looking for those beans.
While he was gone, I seemed to forget that he was even there as I stared down into the face of the man I loved.
It was the first time I was ever able to actually touch him and get away with it. Cupping his cheek, pushing stray lavender hairs out of his eyes. It was like I was high or something, because the next thing I knew, I was kissing him.
His lips were even softer than I had imagined them to be. And I completely lost control as I just cupped his cheek and ravished his mouth.
Soon, to my ultimate delight, he started kissing back. And oh I was in heaven! He was actually kissing me! I don’t think I ever felt that happy since the day he came back, before I found out that he was with my father that is.
Eventually though, I had to breathe, so while it was unfortunate that I had to pull away from him, I found that something like that meant nothing to me when I noticed that his eyes were actually open!
His eyes were open, and he was looking up at me, softly smiling.
I smiled back at him, running my hand through his hair before gently kissing his lips again.
My heart was soaring. Did that mean that he wanted me? That he loved me now? Was he going to leave my father?
Of course not.
“Hey Goku.” He croaked, his voice weak, but still there.
And my eyes went wide when he said that, heartbreak making itself known to me once again. His small voice being enough to slap me back into reality and let me know just exactly what it was that I had done.
I had kissed my father’s mate in his sleep, guilt free and enjoying it fully. And when he woke up, he saw the same black hair, and black eyes of my father, so he naturally assumed that I was he as he kissed back.
It was only then when I noticed how dull his blue eyes looked, and I found it to be amazing that he could see anything at all.
Trunks tried to weakly pull me down for another kiss, but I pulled away from him, disgusted with myself as I got to my feet and prepared to walk away.
As soon as I turned, I saw the shocked face of my father in the doorway. Standing there in wide eyed shock as he stared open mouthed at me for what I had done, the senzu bean in his hand. And it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that he had seen all of it.
I half expected him to punch my lights out for daring to touch his mate, especially considering the state he was in. But instead, all he did was step around me before heading to where Trunks still lay, kneeling before him before picking him up again and taking him into the bedroom to give him the senzu bean.
I clenched my eyes tightly shut, wishing away what I had just done with all my might, but all I found I could do was leave. Punching a hole into one of the trees outside to try and vent out some of the anger I felt and the unfairness of the situation.
I loved him. But he wasn't mine to love and it just wasn't fair.
After that, things got so awkward between me and my own father, that I just had to move out. Mirai begged me to stay, saying that he didn’t mean to impose on me and my space like he did, and would even try to stay out of my way from then on. I guessed that he still held some kind of respect for me since I reminded him of his old master. But I still had to go.
It was then when I realized that my father hadn't told him what I had done, and while that confused me, I was still grateful. But I had to leave. I couldn't be in the next room hearing them having sex all the time, or watching them kiss. Even simple hand holding was enough to make my heart ache. And I needed to get away from it.
After assuring Mirai that my leaving had nothing to do with him, I packed up my things and left. I had been working long enough to afford my own place at that point, and I was old enough to be living on my own anyway. It was just time for me to leave.
I almost never saw him again after that. I was still so humiliated with what I had done that I couldn't bare to face my father or Mirai. And would usually even try to avoid special get together’s that Bulma would throw just to get out of seeing either of them.
It still kills me, even today, years later, now that I’m happily married and with a daughter of my own I still can’t help but think of him once in a while. Sometimes not noticing that I am until I wake up from my daze to see that it’s three in the morning.
Sometimes I try telling myself that I’m over him. And that it’s only natural for me to still have feelings for my first love. Because I’m married now, and I can’t still love Trunks after getting married right?
Everyone holds their first love in high regards anyway, don’t they?
I hope so. Because I want to be over him so badly, but with the way things are going for me, I kind of doubt that will ever happen.
I guess I can deny it all I want. I can stay up all night chanting to myself how much I don’t love him, when in truth that is a sign of the very deep love that I do hold for him.
I love Mirai Trunks Briefs. With every fibre of my being.
But he doesn't love me back.