Welcome to Boxer & Rice

There were a lot of things that the Prince of Saiyans did not like. The top of that list, at the moment, was his siblings. Because since this morning (which was started off with a real bang when the water-heater thingamajig blew up inexplicably and everyone was pointing at everyone else and he was about to kill the entire settlement just to make sure he got to the bottom of the problem) every single one of his siblings (the adopted and in-law ones included) (This totaled...5 full siblings, 3 mates to them and 4 adopted ones...12 people!) had come into his office thing and asked him:

"Hey, Bardock, where's Dad?"
Or occasionally: "Have you seen Mom?"
Or if you were Goten (ONCE MORE PREGNANT, MIND YOU) you asked: "Seen Vegeta?" whilst carrying two of his children that were wimpy little things that didn't like to hang out with their father because Trunks was the other Prince and when he wasn't stuck neck deep in diplomatic bullshit he was hip deep in building something or another.

Goten came last to the office-thing and that was the last straw. Bardock glared at his little sister (brother, he reminded himself...then looked at Goten's chubby tummy and figu to to just go with the flow and call him a girl because that was what everyone called Goten anyway.)

"NO I HAVE NOT SEEN THEM! NO NO NO NO NO!"
Then he pointed at the door: "GET OUT!"

Goten just smirked at him. "Poor Bardock." Shook his head and walked out of the room without so much as a slight iota of being offended.

But that's what Goten was like. He'd get even later. Do something mean to Bardock or maybe he would tell Bulla something mean and he would get the bitchy side of her. (Oh, wow, what a freaking shock.)
Then, after Goten had swept out of the room and been gone for all of thirteen minutes, the door was shoved open again and he would have blasted the intruder to little tiny intruding bits, but it was his littlest brothers (well, full brothers) Vegita and Kakarot. They were singing happily and stopped just in front of him. Wide grins on their faces (Vegita was the taller one.)

"We figured out the problem," Kakarot said.

"Yep," Vegita added, "It wasn't anyone's fault. One of the coils broke and blew it up. We're going to get it fixed by tonight."

Bardock blinked. And the two of them cringed a bit and backed up toward the door. He smiled--just to be deceiving--and said:
"If you're going to get it fixed..." paused her for dramatic effect: "WHY AREN'T YOU DOING IT?!"
~~~***
Goku licked his lips. Smiled, watched Vegeta shake his head but it was just posturing. They both knew it. Besides, you couldn't very well stick your nose skyward for too long when you were the King that was playing hooky while leaving your overworked-underpaid and psychotically imbalanced oldest son with the task of handling a non-natural disaster that had almost the entire settlement pointing fingers at each other and demanding retribution. Vegeta had protested a bit when Goku appeared in his 'office' (It was sort of like a throne room thing where people came to bitch) and suggested they get out of the 'capital' before someone showed up and they got stuck there for a whole day. But when the first knock came to the door, Vegeta and grabbed his hand and asked him just why in the hell he was taking so long to get them out of there.

And there were enough women in their settlement now that anyone could find them if they asked one of the girls. (That long-distance Ki-sensing was a horrible thing for the women to have.) Of course, considering they were on the opposite side of the planet as the rest of them, they would most likely have to go to Goten. He was still the one gifted with the most advanced feminine gifts. (The irony of this was not lost on Goku.)

"Are you finished with that?" Vegeta asked.

Nodded his head at the fruit that Goku had been taunting him with for a while now. Eating it slowly, letting the juice of it roll down his chin so he could lick it up and then there was the pleased purring that he did while he sucked the sticky liquid out of the fruit.

Goku sighed, lifted one of his legs--since his show had brought Vegeta to his knees as he watched and his mate was now next to his legs--and put it on the other side of Vegeta so his mate was now between his legs.
"It doesn't seem to be doing what I want it to," Goku said. Purred deeper and licked the thick syrup off his chin one more time.

"You're hopeless," Vegeta said. Moved forward, so that he had one hand in the soft ground on either side of Goku's ribs.

"What'd you think I kidnapped you for?" he asked, tossed the fruit away and sucked on his fingers. Purred nice and deep, way down so his stomach could feel the vibrations. Made himself quiver without meaning to, and said: "You have something better to do?"

"No," Vegeta replied, moved one hand from the ground to his mate's hip, slid the tips of his fingers inside the pants and against Goku's warm skin. (The Saiyan home planet, very hot, by the way.)

"But," he replied, his hand sliding along the juncture of hip and leg, down to where that quivering originated, "We left our son to handle a disaster."

Leaned forward, licked away the syrup that Goku missed around his mouth, then tipped his head and sucked on the knuckle pressed against Goku's mouth (since the fingers were still in his mouth.) Licked them clean too and rubbed the palm of his hand over Goku's burgeoning erection.
"Its good for his character," Goku replied, rolled his hips up and spread his legs wider, purred louder, "To handle disasters." Pulled his fingers out of his mouth and ran them down Vegeta's back, over the shirt and to the waist band of his pants. Around to the front, to his stomach and then inside his pants were his mate was hard and ready.

Vegeta's hand moved lower in his pants, pressed fingers against the opening to his body, rubbed them slowly back and forth and taunted him with just the pad of one finger dipping inside, then away, making him whimper as he purred and he used his free arm to wrap around Vegeta's shoulders, pulled him down farther and licked his neck, panted and purred and whimpered: "More...'Geta."

Worked like a charm. Every. Single. Time. He was divested of his pants rather quickly, freed his mate from his pants and met the downward stroke with an upward one. Felt the hardness push into him and his own quivering body's response like a rush of slickness. Tightened his hands on Vegeta's skin and whimpered as he purred. Felt his tail curl up tight and then start to shake as he raised his legs, curled them around his mate and shook with every little movement of that hardness inside him.
Running a government for a barely decade old civilization was no piece of cake. It was damn annoying. Time consuming. Not conducive for sex. It was like having hundreds of kids that always wanted to sleep in your bed with you. (Which, by the way, Ull still did sometimes, when there was a particularly violent storm.)

"Oh, shit," Vegeta said. Wasn't moving, but just breathing, trying to breath anyway, and Goku petted him.

"No," he whimpered, "It's oh, fuck." Then he rolled his hips up. Felt Vegeta jerk down in response and encouraged this movement with a purr. And this purring thing always worked, because Vegeta shook his head briefly, and moved deeper inside of him, stroked him inside and out and moved faster when the purring got louder and more rushed.

Goku bit his lip, tasted the fruit and grinned, ran hands over the clothed back and pulled his mate inside of him with the tightening of his legs around him. Met every thrust with a roll and whimpered when he felt himself losing rhythm and thought processes, focused only on the feeling of Vegeta slipping in and out of him and arched, cried out soundlessly.
~~~***
Goten sighed. Picked up the five of them by their tails (one day he was going to defeat Ilona and have more kids than her in one sitting) they all looked at him with their pouty little faces. Three-year olds. Raine and Kaori pointed their pretty noses skyward and ignored their smelly little siblings as he toted the mud-drenched ones to the river and tossed them in. Kaori and Raine should have been watching their younger siblings, but they were only nine, after all, and having nine little siblings probably was a handful.

"MOM!" came the screeches and he turned, saw Trunks returning with the other four (they were six) also covered in mud. (That water heater explosion had flooded the area around the camp and all the children had immediately gone and played in it.)

"Mom!" they yelled, especially Dari who was the wimpiest little boy that was so afraid of water he went for days and days without bathing when possible. He was clawing his hands into Trunks' arm and whimpering in fear of the river.

"Mom! Don't let him throw me in!"

Goten just shook his head. "It'll only hurt a minute, Dari."

And Trunks dumped the rest of them in. Which is what most Saiyan parents were doing at the moment. Including his brothers, Takashi, Vegita (proud papa only two years ago and he had sons. Two of them.) Kakarot (only one baby, and she was three.) Bardock was tossing their littlest siblings in. Mab and Ull. Oki and Vahe pointedly got into the river without having to be tossed like rocks.

"Where are our parents?" Trunks asked. Stood next to him and watched the enormous gaggle of their children converge on poor little Dari. They held onto him and kept him floating, and the older ones calmed him down and made fun of him all at once. But it s what brothers and sisters did, and more often than not, Goten and Trunks kept their noses out of it. Bardock had always taken care of them, and with the exception of Gogeta, nothing bad had ever happened to them.

"Yeah," Bulla said, dropping to the ground next to him, "Where are they?"

He grinned. "It's just better if you don't know." Patted his own tummy and thought fondly of how he had gotten pregnant, and how it would soon be time for the lust cycle. Which meant Trunks got time off from having to be political. Him too, because he was in charge of everything considered 'woman's affairs' with Ilona. What a joy. Nothing like being elbow-deep in placenta all the time. Or teaching the ones just coming to age how it was you got mated and pregnant and all that nonsense.

"That's what I figured they were doing," Bulla said. Rolled her eyes.

"Well, can you think of something better to be doing?" Trunks asked.

Patted his stomach with a proprietary air. Goten let him, but only because Trunks was being smug at Bulla, otherwise he probably would have smacked him. He was perfectly fine with his mate doing as he pleased with the pregnant belly, but it was late in the day, he was very pregnant and he did not want someone patting him unless it was himself.

"Not really," Bulla replied. Sighed. "They still shouldn't have run off."

"You can run off tomorrow," Goten said, "Promise." Winked. And yelled at his kids when they tried to get out of the water and jump back in the mud.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***
Ah. Cute.
Goku: Yeah! I got laid!
Vegeta: Did this really have a point?
Goku: Not really.
Vegeta: Than why write it?
Goku: Don't question, dude. Just accept.