Welcome to Boxer & Rice

► Family     Dwelling     Comfort     Proximity     Community     Territory     Company     Gratification     Downtime     Etiquette     Recollection     Freedom     Constraint     Rivalry     Sharing     Luxury     Claiming     Memories     Bonding     Penance     Epilogue It was another chilly morning on King Kai's planet. The grass was still moist with dew and the smell of food wafted softly with the early breeze.

Goku leaned against the tree he was sitting under after inhaling the wonderful scent of the Kai's cooking.



"I wish the food would taste as good as it smells," the Saiyan chuckled to himself.


It was so very peaceful at King Kai's home, not a thing to be concerned about. His friends and family were safe and sound, no threats against the Blue Planet, no fighting... It was steadily driving the Saiyan insane.



"AAAARG! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" In one fluid movement, Goku swung himself to his feet, grabbed his discarded gi, haphazardly put it back on, and ran towards the Kai's hut.





The bang of the door hitting against the wall and cracking the plaster would be the least of King Kai's worries for the next few days.



"Goku! What the hell are you doing?! STOP TRYING TO DESTROY MY HOUSE!" The Kai screeched at the Saiyan, reminding Goku very much of a certain Earthling he had lived with for many years.



"Oops, sorry, King Kai." A goofy grin followed by the signature scratch on the back of the head were the only signs of remorse and showed no promises in repairing the damage done to King Kai's living space.



"Now, speak up, Goku. What's troubling you this time? And wipe your feet before coming in!"



Goku slowly retracted his steps back out of the house and wiped his bare feet on the door mat. "Well, King Kai, it's just so quiet 'round here."



The kai mumbled, "Not with you home wrecking Saiyan around."



"I'm gettin bored outta my mind! I need action, challenges-" Goku snatched a piece of pastry from the counter and continued speaking through mouthfuls, "an 'ers nofin more t' learn from ya."



The Kai grumbled, "You could certainly learn some manners!"



"Aw, c'mon, King Kai. Isn't there anythin I can do 'round here? Besides my routine trainin' n sleepin' n eatin'?"



"And parading around naked half the time?! Bubbles will need therapy after seeing all that junk jiggling around."



"Teehee! I can't help it! The grass here feels so good on my skin. It reminds me of home." King Kai's antennae twitched at hearing this.



"'Shides, I dun do i' all duh time, *GULP* just when the grass is still wet and nobody's around..."



"It reminds you of home, you say?"



"Yeah! It's the weirdest thing. Cuz I would never do that on Mount Paozu. Hahaha! Chichi woulda killed me if she saw me stretchin' out in the yard naked!"



"Hmmm. Interesting," King Kai whispered to himself. "Say, Goku? You wouldn't happen to be interested- Well, I'm not sure if it could be done. I would have to pull some strings..."



"Intershted in wha', Ki' Kai?" Goku said around another bite of food.



"...But King Yemma still owes me a favor for that one time..." The wise Kai was quickly formulating a plan to keep the Saiyan entertained and out of his hands. A distraction, of sorts, could prove to be the answer to his prayers.



"It's settled! Goku, wait here. I'm going to place a call."



"Eh?" The young warrior watched as King Kai exited the hut without another remark.







King Kai walked away from the house and signalled for King Yemma, a task he had done on numerous occasions.



~King Kai? Oh, this is going to be good- what's he done now?~



~Nothing this time, thank the heavens, but he is feeling down in the dumps.~



~The answer is 'no'.~



~I STILL HAVEN'T SAID ANYTHING! Just humor me, will you?~



~Oh, very well. State your business so I can get back to mine.~



~Remember that time when you asked a certain favor from me? When you didn't want to deal with a certain somebody?~



~YES, yes. I remember quite clearly and we vowed to never speak of it again!~



~Well, I don't recall you ever paying back the favor...~



~Ugh, go on.~



~Let me borrow a soul from Hfil. Just for a few days.~



~ABSOLUTELY NOT!~



~I knew you'd say that. Oh, well, can't say I didn't try. Poor Goku... I'll have to ask the Super Supreme Kai for help, then, and it would be such a shame if I let slip what happened that time with the Soul Purifying Machine.~



~You are a menace, King Kai. But you are not the first one to blackmail me. Who is it you want me to bring to you?~



~Heheh, I want... a Saiyan.~






Goku had quickly become restless all alone in King Kai's house and ventured outside. He found a nice soft patch to lie facedown on, purring as he enjoyed the feeling of the cool moisture seeping into his skin. An array of images of another place started floating around in his mind. It was the same serene place he would go to when trying to meditate; green vegetation surrounded him, small raindrops fell on his face and dripped all the way down to his feet...


Goku was a drift away from falling asleep when a deep, gruff voice and a rude kick to his side woke him out of his daydreaming.



"I just loooove how dedicated ya are to slacking off."



"Huh?" Goku turned and squinted his eyes at the dark silhouette standing tall over him. His guard went up immediately. "Who are ya and what are ya doin' here?!" Goku got up into a crouching position ready to defend himself for any attack.



"Chillax, kid. Is this anyway to great yer ol' man?"



"Ol'... Dad?"



"That's what ya Earthlings would call it, yeah." Bardock flashed the confused Saiyan his trademark Million Dollar Smirk.


Goku quickly got up and faced the parent he never thought he'd meet, "I- I dun understand..."



"King Kai brought me up here saying something about my brat being a pain in his fat blue ass."



"That's not at all what I said, Bardock. Now, you promised to behave yourself while you're up here. Don't forget, you're a guest."



"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatevah, ya ol' gee- King Kai."



The Kai glared at the older Saiyan through his dark glasses, "Hmm. Goku, you mentioned being 'bored out of your mind' and displayed a few signs of being homesick-"



"But I never said I was homesick!" Interrupted Goku.



"Ahem* You displayed a few signs of being homesick and I believe that bringing Bardock here is the answer to our- Your problems. It would be a great way for you to pass time and get to know more about yourself and your home. Your TRUE home."



Cut to the chase, Goku snapped his mouth shut and looked at his sire. Bardock had the same wild, spiky hair and the same body build as Goku. His face was also, almost identical if not for the scar decorating the other Saiyan's left cheek.


Bardock was sizing Goku up, as well. He never knew much about his second born, the Earth raised Saiyan was a true enigma, so different from the others, yet the same blood ran through his veins.



"Ya like what ya see, kid?" Bardock snarled, lifted his arms from his sides and gave a slow moving spin.



"Um- Excuse me?" Goku was more than puzzled by the other's behavior.



"WELL, I think I'll leave you two to get acquainted with and go back to my chores. I warn you, though, no funny business; no wrecking my house, no tearing down the trees, no destroying my car and, absolutely NO running around naked!" King Kai directed that last bit to Goku, in particular, and marched back to the hut.


The rich baritone of the older Saiyan's laughter brought Goku's attention back to him.



"But where's the fun in that?!" Bardock called after the kai, "ya could at least let us off planet to do all those things!"



King Kai's barely audible voice repeated the ground rules with the addition of 'on MY planet'.


Bardock was still chuckling when he turned to Goku, "so, kid, looks like it's you and me and a bunch of rules. Whaddaya say we ditch this place and go somewhere fun?"



"Whaddaya mean 'go somewhere'?" Goku tilted his head to the side.



"Heh! Ya gotta lot to learn about being dead, Kakarot."



"Could ya please not call me that?"



"What, 'Kakarot'? It's yer Saiyan name! I gave ya that name when you were born!" Bardock leaned in, still grinning widely at Goku until the tips of their noses almost touched. "Ya rather I call ya 'brat'?" A hand slap-grabbed one of Goku's buttocks making him yelp and jump seven feet in the air.



"HAHAHAHA! Ease up, will ya? I'm yer center, ya don't need to be on yer constant guard." Bardock walked towards the other side of the planet swaying his hips and tail in a very blasé manner.


~What the heck did he mean by that?~ Goku thought.


With a hand still rubbing his derriere, the naive fighter followed, skeptical, to say the least, not knowing what lay ahead, or what to make out of his father's bizarre attitude.


Kai's up above, what had he gotten himself into this time...?

Home is Where the Sex is ch. 1 ► Family     Dwelling     Comfort     Proximity     Community     Territory     Company     Gratification     Downtime     Etiquette     Recollection     Freedom     Constraint     Rivalry     Sharing     Luxury     Claiming     Memories     Bonding     Penance     Epilogue