Welcome to Boxer & Rice

The fun house walls muffled the tinny music outside, leaving only the sound of the air conditioner's cold blasts rushing through the dark hallways. Black lights made the paint on the walls glow, so that the entire hallway shone with green skeletons and purple bats, along with a few reddish pink swirls that tried to look like blood but looked more like squashed roses.

Wooden planks creaked under his boots as Vegeta wandered through the hall, cursing Kakarrot, Kakarrot's brats, his brat, the Namek, the woman, and anyone else he could think of for making him come to the stupid human carnival.

"It's the last day," he muttered to himself in a perfect mimic of Goku's voice. "It'll be fun. There'll be food. There's a special show to close it off." He kicked a soda can and listened to it crumple against the wall. "Damn fools..."

Pausing for a moment, he raised one boot and stared at it, heavy and black with buckles instead of laces. "And what the hell's wrong with my training suit? I hate human clothes."

Finished ranting, he walked down the hallway until he couldn't stand the creaking floorboards and floated a few inches above the ground, flying around the next corridor. To his growing disgust, he found that the black lights also made the Capsule Corps patch and strings on his jacket light up blue, along with the edges of his jeans pockets.

So caught up in his glowing clothes, he didn't notice Piccolo until they bumped into each other. They both backed up a few feet and dropped into fighting stances, growling and standing straight when they realized who the other was.

"Watch where you're going, Saiyan," Piccolo said, hands still curled into fists.

"You blend with the green skeletons." Vegeta crossed his arms and looked away. "What's your excuse?"

"You're right. I should've noticed an oversized firefly in this place."

"Watch it, Namek."

"You seen Gohan?" Piccolo asked, ignoring the threat for now. "He said he was coming in here."

"I passed him on the second floor chasing the brats. If he hasn't thrown them through a wall yet."

"Shit." Piccolo looked over his shoulder. "I just came from upstairs. I don't think I can find the steps again."

The tip of Vegeta's hair swept by the Namek's throat as the prince floated down the hall. After a few steps he heard Piccolo walking beside him, but he said nothing.

Wood suddenly crashed around him, and he turned just in time to see Piccolo's turban spin in the air for a few seconds before falling down to where Piccolo dangled halfway through a hole in the floor. Only his outstretched arms kept him from falling all the way.

"Dammit, I'm stuck," he said, twisting one way and trying to push himself up.

"I guess there are advantages to flying through a funhouse," Vegeta said through his laughter.

I can't believe this, Piccolo thought, his face turning purple. "I won't bother asking for help, you'll just blast the hole wider."

"I wouldn't do that,"Vegeta said. "Gohan would be pissed if I dared touch your hole."

"You rotten little son of a bitch!" Piccolo squirmed in his tight trap and strained his muscles, craning his neck as if that would help. "Quit it with the insinuations!" He threw a punch but only managed to sink a few more inches.

Still hovering a few inches, Vegeta dodged the punch and laughed louder. "Oh, the urge to kick the shit out of you is almost overwhelming."

"I could say the same." Piccolo finally gave up and broke through the boards, disappearing beneath the floor before flying up again. "Damn Gohan..."

"Perhaps he'll suffer the whip tonight, hm?"Vegeta asked. He dodged the next punch and flew back several feet. "Now now, what would the Great Saiyaman say if you destroyed more of this human freak show?"

His entire body tense and his ki glowing, Piccolo simply clenched his hands into fists and strode past the prince, who watched him walk away for the few seconds before the Namek found another weak patch in the floor. This time only his foot went in, but the dip made him stumble and fall.

"Maybe you'd be better off flying," Vegeta said with a smirk, floating past him.

"Gohan'll kill us if we're seen flying." Piccolo stood up and jerked his foot out, then dug around for his shoe. "But with the way you're glowing, they'll just think you're part of the show."

"And they wouldn't care about a seven-foot tall green alien?" Vegeta said. "You fit in here more than I do."

Piccolo gave up looking for his shoe and created a new one. Wordlessly he rose a few inches into the air straight into the glowing blue spider webs on the ceiling. Hissing as Vegeta floated backwards in a laughing fit, he scraped the webs off his antennae and continued down the hall.

"Trunks, cut it out!"

"I'm not doing it, he is!"

"Dammit, both of you are doing it."

Rounding the corner, Piccolo and Vegeta found Trunks, Goten and Gohan all tangled up and caught in the fun house's rolling tunnel. The three wore regular clothes, not their training outfits, but piled on top of each other like that neither Piccolo nor Vegeta could tell where Trunks' jacket started and Gohan's jeans ended. Piccolo tried to think of something to say, but of course the prince beat him to it.

"Trunks, Goten, quit it. You're making the Namek jealous."

Three pairs of eyes focused on Vegeta, or tried to anyway.

The Namek didn't waste time with words but swung at Vegeta, who blurred out of sight and reappeared behind him. With a well-placed push, Piccolo went sprawling into the pile.

"Piccolo, you're heavy," Goten said.

"Papa, I can't stop," Trunks said. "I'd fly, but I can't tell which way is up."

As the pile of four of the strongest fighters in the universe cart wheeled, Vegeta crossed his arms and watched them go round and round...

...until someone bumped into him from behind and he fell between Goten and Piccolo.

"What the fuck?"

"Get off me, Saiyan!"

"Goten, you're squishing me--"

"*gack*"

"Vegeta, those boots're heavy!"

"Who the hell pushed me? I swear, when I get up--" Vegeta fell on his front and tried to push himself up, but Gohan, Piccolo and Trunks fell on top of him. Goten landed on the pile just in time to topple off and hit the floor as the tunnel rolled, four fighters falling on him. The indignity not to be borne, Vegeta launched into what would have been an anthem of swearing. "Goddamn son of a fucking bitch li--"

"Hi guys," Goku said. "Sorry I bumped you, 'Geta."

The five fighters paused for a moment before the tunnel tossed them again.

"Kakarrot," Vegeta said as Piccolo rolled over him. "Figures."

Goku scratched the back of his head as he watched them. "What are you guys doing?"

"Dad, help us!" Gohan yelled, trying to stretch one arm towards his father. "We're stuck."

Hands and arms swirled past Goku, who couldn't tell one from the other, save for Piccolo's. He grasped the first one he could and yanked out Trunks, who sat against the wall and caught his breath. Next came Vegeta, who dropped down to the floor and swept Goku's feet out from under him. He watched Goku land on his back and lay dazed for a moment.

"Ow..."

"Geez, papa, you didn't have to drop him like that," Trunks said, standing up again. He helped Goten out of the tunnel. "You okay?"

"As soon as you stop spinning." Goten leaned against Trunks, settling on his shoulder and sighing as he hugged him back. "Let's never do that again."

"Yeah, that was a bad prank." Trunks looked over Goten at Gohan. "Sorry for jumping ya, Gohan."

"Sorry? You're never sorry, you--" Gohan tried to crawl out, but his legs tangled in Piccolo's cape and they both flopped on each other.

"Don't apologize," Vegeta told his son, ignoring Goku as he stood up. "They probably like it."

Growling louder, Piccolo narrowed his eyes. "You rotten little--"

Gohan landed on top of him, his legs straddling his green chest.

"Woo hoo," Trunks yelled, pumping one hand in the air. "Ride 'em cowboy!"

"Trunks, cut that out--er, Piccolo, watch your hands--dad, help us!"

"Ewww," Goten said. "An incestuous threesome."

"What?!"

"Hands off my mate," Vegeta said, fisting one hand in Goku's hair.

"Ow!"

Finally Gohan and Piccolo rolled out of the tunnel and onto the floor, this time Piccolo on top of Gohan with their noses an inch apart. For a moment, they forget everyone around them and smiled, touching their mouths together. Gohan reached up and stroked Piccolo's antennas, while the Namek slid one hand down Gohan's ribs, along his waist and hips, down to his--

"Um, Gohan?" Goku tried to hide behind Vegeta so he couldn't see his son making out with Piccolo. "Remember where you are?"

While Gohan and Piccolo blushed bright pink and purple, Vegeta tugged Goku down the hall, careful to float through the tunnel this time. More glowing ghosts and spiders appeared, along with a set of two hallways.

"How the hell do we get out?" Vegeta said, looking down each corridor.

"I dunno," Goku said. "I just wandered down here. They're gonna start the show soon, and I didn't want you guys to miss it."

"Oh joy," Vegeta said, picking a hall and flying along it.

"I remember," Trunks said as he and Goten zipped by. "Down this hall, take a left and you'll see the light at the end of the tunnel. Race ya there!"

Vegeta hesitated for a second. The last time he'd gone down the light at the end of a tunnel, bad things had happened.

"Come on," Goku said, grabbing his mate's hand and rushing forward. "We can't let them beat us!"

His mate's yell gave him no time to react as Goku yanked him down the hall past three startled humans, taking him around the corner so fast his body went horizontal. Then daylight blinded him and they were outside just in time to bump into Trunks, who also held an unwilling Goten's hand and had to help the younger demi-Saiyan off the ground.

"Gee, I guess we lost," Goku said. He turned to Vegeta and caught his punch on reflex, seizing his other wrist before he could try again. "Vegeta, calm down."

"Let me go."

"Calm down first."

"Let. Go."

Half a minute passed as they stared at each other, Goku without his usual smile and Vegeta with his usual glare. The prince considered transforming, but Goku wouldn't like that and then he'd have to deal with a sulky mate for the rest of the day and especially the night. He straightened and looked away.

"Fine."

"Aw..." Goku grinned and tugged him close enough for a kiss, releasing his hands in favor of holding his waist. "Love you, too."

"Should they be doing that out here?" Goten whispered. "I mean, out in the open and all?"

"No one'll see. Everyone's heading for the show," Trunks said. He leaned closer and nuzzled Goten's cheek. "Trust me."

Halfway through the kiss, Gohan and Piccolo came out of the fun house blushing even more than previously. When they looked over at Trunks and Goten and found that pair locked in their kiss, they exchanged their own look and shrugged. Piccolo bent down several inches while Gohan stood on the tips of his sneakers so their lips could meet.

"Aaahhhh--" *thud*

The noise caught Goku's attention and he broke the kiss, hugging Vegeta when he heard him grumble. "Krillin?"

They all saw Krillin on the ground a few feet away just as Yamcha and Tien landed beside him, their faces twisted up and their eyes wide.

"Goku," Yamcha cried, "what's that bastard doing to you?"

"Huh?"

"You couldn't have been kissing him," Tien said. "Tell me you weren't."

"You were watching?" Trunks asked. "The whole time?"

Goten gasped. "Perverts!"

"Um, this isn't how I wanted you to find out," Goku said, scratching the back of his neck. "I was gonna wait until after the show to break the news."

"What?" Vegeta said, wriggling in his arms. "Without telling me?"

On the ground, Krillin groaned and pushed himself up. "Man oh man," he groaned. "I musta been hallucinating. Goku and Vegeta, there's no way..." He looked up and saw Vegeta caught in Goku's embrace. "Oh man...no way...no way, man."

"I get it," Trunks said. "The shock must have knocked him out of the sky."

Forgotten and ignored on the sidelines, Piccolo made sure that the humans weren't watching before grabbing Gohan and flying into the air, leaving the stunned humans behind. "I'm not dealing with this right now."

"But Piccolo-san--"

"Don't you Mr. Piccolo me," he said. "The last thing I need is to get caught up in anything involving an angry ChiChi."

"But Piccolo-san--"

"Dammit, kid, Goku's my friend but there's gonna be hell to pay when Vegeta and ChiChi go at it and I'm not gonna be there."

"Piccolo-san..." Gohan dropped his voice a few octaves. "We're all alone now and the show doesn't start for another five minutes."

"So?"

"So...I brought the whip."

The Namek plummeted from the sky and landed behind the House of Mirrors.

Back at the funhouse exit, Krillin, Tien and Yamcha all spoke at once, not allowing the Saiyans or demi-Saiyans any chance to say anything.

"Goku, you can't be gay. I mean, I never saw you check anyone out when we were in locker rooms--oh my God, were you checking me out?"

Goku shook his head. "No, Krillin, I--"

"We all thought you were just training with Vegeta," Yamcha said. "I mean, you still love ChiChi, right?"

"Well, I--"

"Oh my God, ChiChi!" Tien slapped his forehead, avoiding his third eye. "She'll flip. Or maybe she'll kill Vegeta. You aren't really gay, are you?"

"No way," Yamcha said. "That's not possible. I'll bet Vegeta's manipulating him somehow. He's just using Goku."

Krillin nodded. "You must be right. Since you and Bulma are back together, Vegeta must be desperate for any action."

"Yeah, the little slut's just after your body, Goku," Tien said.

While Goten and Trunks gasped, Goku tightened his grip on Vegeta not just out of concern for his mate's feelings. Vegeta transformed a split second after Goku, destroying his Capsule Corps jacket, and then Goku transformed again to keep up with him. As his prince's sheer fury started to overwhelm him, he peaked at level three and finally clamped down on him. The sheer power emanating from them threw the humans flat on their backs.

"Kakarrotto ze ikune gado korashtam edd'me Tien-kette, Krillin-kette, sosoii wero Yamcha ja'ta impachette--" Vegeta cursed, so furious he fell into his first language.

"You'd better take off," Goku said to his friends. "He's not gonna calm down anytime soon and you don't wanna know what he just said about you."

"But Goku--" Krillin said.

"Go! He'll kill you if he gets loose."

The demi-Saiyans took off when the humans did, but flew in a different direction before Krillin could bombard them with questions. They passed over the carnival games and the House of Mirrors just as Gohan and Piccolo finished and collapsed in a tired heap on the grass.

"Ewww," Goten said. "I didn't need to see that."

"The Great Saiyaman conquers all," Trunks said with a laugh. "Come on, let's go find some seats before the show starts."

"You still wanna go? You know it'll explode when Dad and Vegeta get there."

"I'll be shocked if papa doesn't kill someone." Trunks opened his jacket and revealed his Terror Twin mask and costume. "So I'm not gonna miss this for the world!"

~*~*~*~*~*~

"Eckoto rana ma'ze Yamcha ondoshe krukkon nikuu ezodo Tien na Krillin dezo hu'man kotoka--"

"Vegeta, stop it!" Goku body slammed his mate onto the ground, knocking the wind out of him. A moment later he started cursing again.

"Kakarrotto-kette hu'man do ezodo--"

Wow, he can cuss! A blush sprang up on Goku's cheeks and he gave Vegeta a good shake, knocking him out of his cursing streak for a second. "Listen to me, they're gone. Calm down."

"Fucking shit-faced asshole cun--"

"Enough." Goku knew the language switch signaled Vegeta's cooling temper, but his mate still thrashed like a child throwing a tantrum. "Or do I have to find a lake and cool you off?"

Chest heaving as he breathed through clenched teeth, Vegeta's thrashing stopped but the growling didn't. Goku chanced releasing one hand, and when his prince held still he rolled off of him. For a few minutes Vegeta lay still, struggling to get his breathing back under control. When he did sit up, his hands trembled as if he wanted to hit something. Only an inch at a time did Goku scoot close enough to gently stroke his mate's hair.

"Are you okay?"

"I hate you," Vegeta whispered. "They called me...called me...and you didn't stop them. You should have killed them but you wouldn't even let me do it."

"They're just reacting the only way they know how. You can't kill them for that."

"Can I say it's the only way I know how to react?" Vegeta closed his eyes, letting the mounting tension headache dissipate. "It'd shut them up at least."

"Killing won't solve anything," Goku said.

"Not here, anyway. Death is the least permanent thing on this planet."

"You say that like it's a bad thing." Goku slipped his hand into Vegeta's, smiling as his mate returned the grip.

"Well...not always." He sighed and let Goku pull him against his chest. "Don't tell me you still want to go to whatever ridiculous show the humans are planning."

"We have to go. If we don't, they'll think we're hiding from them." He stood up and pulled Vegeta up with him. "Come on. Just let me explain things to them. I'm sure they'll be more accepting when they understand how much I love you."

"More like they'll yell at you and try to kill me." Vegeta shrugged and started walking, arms crossed. "Fine. Let's get it over with then."

Goku caught up and put one arm around his mate's shoulders. "How about ice cream afterwards?"

"Hn."

"Chocolate?"

"You're just trying to bribe me."

"Is it working?"

"...maybe."

~*~*~*~*~*~

Neither in a rush to arrive, Goku and Vegeta walked side by side past the games of chance and the large sundial in the center of the carnival, joining up with Gohan and Piccolo by the House of Mirrors.

"Your shirt's buttoned wrong," Vegeta said.

A pink flush colored Gohan's face as he redid his buttons.

No one said a word more until they arrived at a grassy field surrounded by stands filled with humans.

"I think it's full," Gohan said. "Are there any seats left?"

"Oh well, too bad," Piccolo said.

"Yes, we might as well leave," Vegeta said, nodding.

As they turned to go, they both heard Goten's voice clear across the human cheering. "Hey, guys, we're over here! And we got some good seats!"

While the two Sons grinned identical goofy smiles, Piccolo and Vegeta both scowled and grumbled at once. "Great."

Spotting the demi-Saiyans on top of a high wall in the corner, they first walked around the bleachers so no one would spot their flight. While they sat down, Goten scooted over and sat on Trunks' lap, sighing when his mate put one arm around him. Beside them sat Piccolo and Gohan, finished off by Vegeta and Goku.

On the field, the announcer they usually saw at the tournament walked out and tapped his microphone. "Ladies and gentlemen," he started, "welcome to the Carnival Spintacular Grand Finale! There will be fireworks and explosions following a special re-enactment of the battle against Cell, featuring our city's champion, Mr. Satan!"

As the crowd cheered, the fighters on the wall groaned.

"There'd better be a lot of ice cream," Vegeta said, looking sideways at Goku, who grinned and waved his hands.

"There will be."

"Hn."

"I swear. Lots and lots of--"

"There they are!"

The six of them looked to their left as a small mob approached. Led by ChiChi, Tien and Chaotzu walked to her right while Krillin and Roshi walked to her left. Yamcha straggled behind listening as Bulma spoke quickly, her hands whirling in the air as she explained something to him.

On the field, the announcer stood back as a rubber suit Cell walked out and struck a few poses. "Intent on blood and carnage, the evil monster arrives and immediately begins the assault."

"Goku," ChiChi called up to him. "Tell me what I just heard isn't true!"

"Um, what did you hear?" Goku asked.

"Uh oh," Piccolo whispered. "Here it comes."

"That you were kissing Vegeta!" She stomped her foot and waved a fist at him. "Well, were you?"

"Don't deny it," Tien said. "I know what I saw. He practically had his tongue down your throat."

Goku felt his mate's ki spike and he put his arm around him. "Don't hurt them," he whispered. "Please."

"I swear you ask the impossible," Vegeta said, his eyes closed.

Unable to hear their conversation, the humans took Goku's move as sometime entirely different.

"Geez, quit flaunting it, willya," Roshi said. "Hugging him in front of your wife, no less."

"It can't be his fault," Krillin said. "Vegeta must be using some kind of mind control. No one'd want him otherwise."

Vegeta hissed.

"He's an animal," ChiChi said as she nodded. "Goku, Gohan, get away from--Gohan?"

"Um, hi mom," Gohan said, managing a tiny wave.

The seven-foot Namek tried to hide behind Gohan.

"Gohan, what are you doing with Piccolo?" She narrowed her eyes and looked back and forth between Goku and Gohan. "Oh my God," she cried, stumbling backward. "Gohan...not you, too!"

Confused by her outcry, the humans looked at the two pairs and spotted the similarities between their postures. Gohan sat so close to Piccolo that another inch would have had him on the Namek's lap. A look a little farther down showed Goten actually on Trunks' lap, his head on his mate's shoulder as he nuzzled the long purple hair.

"Oh my God," she whispered. "He's corrupted all of them."

"I thought it was my evil brain washing," Vegeta said. "Not that there's much to work with in this group."

"Hey!" five voices chorused.

"Goddamn slut," Tien said. "Probably misses what he got from Frieza."

A second later a golden Goku and Gohan each held one of Vegeta's arms and held the level two Super Saiyan between them, planting their feet firmly on the wall and leaning backward. Vegeta howled and managed a step, dragging the Sons with him.

"Piccolo!" Gohan yelled. "Help--"

Before he could finish, Piccolo grabbed Vegeta's waist and pulled back. Sadly he pulled back too hard and they all went sprawling behind the wall that crumbled after them.

"Massive damage and terror," the announcer on the field screamed, trying to be heard over the small explosions set around the Cell look-alike. "A few fighters come out of the woodwork to challenge his awesome might!"

"Let me go!" Vegeta screamed, sandwiched on the ground between Goku and Gohan. "I'll rip out his eyes and shove them--"

"They just don't understand," Goku said. He grabbed Vegeta's wrists and held them. "Killing them won't solve anything."

"Stop repeating yourself, dammit!"

"What's to understand about a cheating husband?" ChiChi shrieked. "What, you bang the first Saiyan you see?"

Sprawled dazed under Goten and Trunks and a wallful of bricks, Piccolo groaned and raised a hand. "Um, no, he didn't."

"ChiChi," Bulma said. "Calm down. Yelling won't change anything. This is just the way they are. They're Saiyan."

"You!" ChiChi turned on Bulma, scaring the genius into hiding behind Yamcha. "You couldn't keep your little monster on a leash, so he tears my family apart. He's stealing my husband!"

"Leave my mom out of this," Trunks said, looking exactly like his father for a moment.

"Stupid bitch," Vegeta said. As he spoke, his words turned more into hisses. "An unsuspecting husband you had to trick into marriage."

"Bastard!" she screamed. "Whore! Corrupting my husband and my children. You and Trunks are evil, worthless sluts. Fucking like animals!"

A ki flare caught their attention and the humans looked at Goten, now golden and barely restrained by Trunks. Piccolo sat up and wrapped his arms around the demi-Saiyan's legs.

"They're not evil," Goten said. "How dare you say that about them."

"How can you defend them?" ChiChi asked. "Vegeta's nothing but a monster, he'll never change. A worthless, evil slut and his son's no better--"

"Stop it!" Goten rose his ki to its limit, kicking out of Piccolo's grasp and nearly breaking his lover's hold.

"Goten, power down," Trunks said. "You can't kill your own mother."

"But she--"

"Power down, dammit."

Forgotten on the ground, Vegeta abruptly stopped struggling. Goku and Gohan didn't let go, but they did relax and catch their breath. To their surprise, the prince's hair turned black against as he dropped out of Super Saiyan. He closed his eyes, relaxed his muscles and breathed deep.

"'Geta?" Goku whispered.

No answer. Gohan pushed himself up and off of his father, watching him sit up with his prince in his arms. "Is he awake?"

"'Geta? Are you all right?"

Vegeta's eyes snapped open and turned blue, startling Goku so much he let go. Vegeta jumped to his feet, his ki still flying upwards, and raised one hand towards Tien.

All of the humans screamed and scattered, but Tien stared in shock at the open hand glowing brighter and brighter. He tried to step back but ended up flat on his ass, his jaw dropping just before he screamed.

"Big bang--"

"Gohan--"

"I got him!" Gohan grabbed Vegeta's arm and pulled as hard as he could.

"--attack!"

The ball of ki whistled as it sailed through the sky, exploding high over the field to the cheers of the audience. Cheers turned to isolated screeches as a few charred pigeons and sparrows landed on a few people's laps.

Without the time to charge up an attack, Vegeta used smaller ki bursts, aiming at whatever came into his range. Gohan tried to pull him down again but had to settle for hindering his aim. A moment later he found himself on the ground with a bloody lip.

"Damn," he said. "Forgot about his other hand." Someone behind him picked him up, and he looked back. "You too?"

Piccolo wiped some blood from above his eyes. "Your brother's got a mean kick."

"Finally," Vegeta said, narrowing his eyes at Tien. He raised his hand.

"No!" Goku flew in front of Tien and faced his lover. "I won't let you."

Tears welled up in his eyes, but Vegeta blinked them back. "But you'll let them--"

"Guess I hit the mark about Freiza," Tien said. "What'sa matter, Vegeta, didn't like it when the little lizard had you?"

"Tien," Goku said over his shoulder, "shut up."

"Kakarrot," Vegeta said. "Move."

"Or maybe...you were pretty weak then," Tien said. "Maybe--"

"Tien, stop it--"

"Kakarrot, get out of the fucking way!"

"He's not worth it," Goku said. "You've changed. Your heart is good now. I won't let you throw that away."

"Just one dead body," Vegeta said. "What the hell would one more dead body mean?"

"Everything." Goku took a step forward, pausing when Vegeta stepped back. Taking a deep breath, Goku moved close enough to lay his hand on his lover's cheek. "I love you. And killing any of them would hurt you far more than it could ever hurt them."

Neither of them noticed the screams or curses thrown back and forth between the two sides. Goku stared into Vegeta's eyes until the smaller Saiyan turned away.

"Not fair," Vegeta whispered.

"I'm sorry."

"I should pound you into the dirt."

Goku said nothing.

"Hey, Vegeta," Tien started one more time. "Which one was better, Goku or Freiza?"

A ki bolt landed solidly in his chest, shooting him squawking across the ground and into a booth full of fuzzy animals. Goku looked past Vegeta at their sons.

"Goten!" Trunks yelled.

"Well, he deserved it," the younger demi-Saiyan said.

"Not fair at all."

Hearing his mate's whisper, Goku looked down just as Vegeta's form blurred and disappeared. He breathed out and closed his eyes. Even without seeing his mate's face, he could feel his tears.

"About time he left," ChiChi said. "Goku, we're going home. Now." She faced her sons and growled at their lovers. "Get your hands off my sons."

None of them moved.

"Didn't you hear me? Let go of them."

His eyes wide and locked on his mother, Gohan pressed himself against Piccolo's chest. "No."

Master Roshi stepped forward and tapped his cane on one of the broken bricks around them. "Now you listen to your mother, Gohan. I've known you since you were a child, and this isn't like you."

"You don't know anything," Gohan said, his voice starting to shake. "This is everything like me." He felt Piccolo's hands settle on his shoulders and gently squeeze.

"Gohan," his mother said, her voice low and her hands clenched into fists at her side. "Get over here."

"No."

"Dammit, don't you disobey me. You're not Saiyan, you're human, and you better start acting like it. No more training, no more fighting, both of you. You're coming home and acting like humans, and I'm never letting you see Piccolo, Trunks," she wheeled to face her husband, "or Vegeta, ever again."

Sounds of the fake battle between the actors in the field echoed through the stands, the cheers of the audience the only thing any of them heard for several seconds. Piccolo and Gohan stood still, both of them staring at ChiChi. Goku tried to come up with a good response, but this type of battle was something alien to him. The humans all waited for the Sons to move towards ChiChi.

"Go to hell."

Krillin and Roshi gasped. Even ChiChi's jaw dropped. "Goten?"

"You're just full of surprises today," Trunks muttered.

"I'm not leaving Trunks," Goten said. "And none of you can make me."

"But Goten--"

"He's right," Gohan said. He put his arm around Piccolo's waist and faced his mother. "I'm half human, but I'm half Saiyan, too, and I'm not going to ignore that part of me anymore. I'm sick of trying to be something I'm not."

"But Gohan--"

"The kid's not the one cheating on you," Piccolo suddenly said. "So what's got your panties in a bunch?"

Gohan's jaw dropped.

ChiChi squared her shoulders as if preparing for a fight. "What you're doing is wrong. You're not the same species, you can't even have children."

Keeping his eye on ChiChi, Piccolo bent down to Gohan's level. "You never told her?"

"How could I?" Gohan asked. "I'd of had to say how I found out, and can you imagine where that would have gone?"

"He's right,"Goku said. "Hate me all you want, but this is their decision. Neither of us can take that away from them."

"Oh no," she said. "You do not get to be the good parent in this."

"But he has been," Gohan said. "Right, Goten? Goten?"

They all looked around, but the demi-Saiyans were gone.

"Mm. Seems to be the thing to do," Piccolo said. "Gohan?"

"Yeah," he said, nodding. "Let's go."

"Gohan," ChiChi said, taking a step forward. "Gohan, don't you dare leave. Gohan!" She watched the two fly into the air and disappear over the booth where Chaotzu still tried to wake Tien. She looked back at her husband. "Goku, this is all your fault."

"I'm sorry, ChiChi." He closed his eyes and lowered his head. "I never meant to hurt you."

"You really are an idiot." She turned her back and folded her arms. "Go. I don't ever want to see you again."

His shoulders drooping, he rose off the ground and left. ChiChi turned around, her mouth open to say something else, and for a moment nothing came out. "That jerk," she said after a few stutters. "He really left!"

~*~*~*~*~*~

On the other side of the carnival, Goten and Trunks sat on top of the House of Mirrors and watched the little actors in the field go through the motions of bowing down to Mr. Satan. Goten let his legs dangle over the edge while Trunks sat cross-legged, wondering if his mate would eventually settle in his lap.

"Trunks?"

"Yeah?"

"Is it okay if I stay at your place for awhile?"

"No." He traced his fingers along Goten's jaw and tilted his head up to look at him. "I want you to stay with me forever."

"Thanks." Goten gave him a shaky smile. "After what I said to mom, I don't think I'll be able to go home anytime soon."

"Silly, your home's with me now. You don't have to go back at all unless there's something you really want to get." He smirked. "And all your favorite video games are in my...in our room."

"Bulma won't mind, will she? I mean, she seemed okay with this and all."

"Mom's a genius, Goten. She probably knew about all of us long before we knew it ourselves." He watched his mate for a moment, then looked back at the wall they'd demolished. Nearby, Chaotzu and Yamcha had Tien back on his feet, but the three eyed warrior wobbled as if drunk. ChiChi sat on one of largest bricks and seemed to mutter to herself and Roshi, standing next to her. He wondered where everyone else had gone.

A ki signature appeared behind him, and he turned around to find his father standing a few feet away, arms crossed, watching the show on the field.

"Papa?"

"Vegeta?"

If he heard them, he didn't show it. He continued to stare at the mock fight between the rubber Cell and Mr. Satan. The crowd cheered again as Mr. Satan knocked his opponent down and planted his boot on the rubber chest. "You know, I'm really in the mood to blow something up."

"Even with ChiChi and the others around?" Trunks asked.

"Especially with them around."

"Cool." He opened his jacket and took out the Terror Twins costumes, handing one to Goten. He took one look at his father's face and grinned. "Here," he said, holding out the dark cloak and mask. "I brought yours, too."

"Hn. I hadn't thought of using these. You really care if the humans recognize us?" He took them anyway.

"Them, no." Trunks slid his mask on and adjusted it. "But mom and Goku and Gohan would mind."

"Good point." Vegeta took off his shirt and pants, revealing black spandex underneath.

"Do you think Gohan and Piccolo'll show up?" Goten asked.

Now under his cloak, Vegeta smirked. "Once the fireworks start, I'm sure the Great Saiyaman will arrive to protect everyone."

The three masked villains took to the air.

"Think he'll protect Mr. Satan?" Goten asked.

"Let's find out!" Trunks said and he led the way to the field.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Clutching his microphone and waving to the crowd, Mr. Satan strutted over the big-headed Cell and placed his boot on the rubber chest. Scattered around for effect lay the stuntmen dressed as big-headed Z fighters, each groaning loud enough to be heard, but not enough to distract the crowd from their champion's speech.

"This was just a tenth, no a hundredth of the real right," Mr. Satan said with a grin. "You can't begin to imagine the sheer power of our fight, but I did it for the good of my city. I knew that if I didn't win it, the whole earth would suffer. The rest, you know, is history. I'm glad to see everyone's had a fun time at the carnival and I sure hope you folks have enjoyed our little show--"

His microphone exploded in a burst of sparks and flame. He gasped and threw the flaming plastic down while the crowd screamed in their seats. Floating above the field, three familiar masked villains closed in on Mr. Satan.

"We didn't enjoy your 'little show'," Trunks said, lowering his hand. "From what I've heard, it's just a bunch of lies."

"You never defeated Cell," Goten said, his menacing voice a total contrast to his grin. "You just showed up to take credit."

A hush fell over the crowd and everyone stared at Mr. Satan, who glanced around at his fans.

"Now now," he said, waving his arms. "Don't tell me you're gonna take the word of three masked villains. You just saw how the battle played out."

"Your version of the battle," Trunks said. He held out a hand and prepared a ki bolt. "Let's see if you remember how to dance."

"Legion of Terror! Stop right there."

The three turned and found Gohan and Piccolo floating in front of them, resplendent in their flowing capes. Around them, the crowd burst into cheers.

"Saiyaman! Saiyaman!"

"Great Green Bean! Great Green Bean !"

"What the fuck?" Piccolo asked, looking around.

"They renamed you," Vegeta said. "You switched sides, after all."

"Hey, aren't those clothes different from the ones you had before?" Trunks asked.

"Must be nice to create your clothes out of thin air," Goten said.

"Knowing them," Vegeta said, "they probably had to."

"Hey!"

"Oh, for the love of...Legion of Terror!" Ignoring his purpling lover, the Great Saiyaman struck several moves while speaking. "Didn't you learn from our last battle that you can never win? Good will always vanquish evil."

"But until then," Trunks said, "evil's a lot more fun than good."

"You'll find it a lot more painful," Gohan said, cracking his knuckles. "The evil are always thrashed for their punishment."

"But Saiyaman," Vegeta said with an exaggerated bow that told Gohan the prince was mocking him, "shouldn't liars be punished as well?"

"Well...yes, I suppose so."

"Then what about him?" He pointed at the city's champion. "Shouldn't the great Satan be able to defeat us on his own? In fact, why are you even coming to his rescue? If he was strong enough to defeat Cell, then we should be no problem at all."

"Don't worry about me," Mr. Satan said. "I've got no problem letting these younger heroes share the spotlight."

"Actually, I'm more worried about the crowd," Gohan said, earning sighs and squeals of love from the girls in the audience. "You three aren't exactly known for your restraint."

While Gohan blushed under his mask at the swooning girls, Piccolo took the opportunity to glare at Vegeta...and he caught the Saiyan's prince's wink. Nodding once, he lay his hand on Gohan's shoulder. "Relax, kid. They're just gonna make a fool outta Mr. Satan."

"But that's not right--"

"Stupid brat." With a low growl, Vegeta leaned forward and whispered just so they could hear. "That jerk is a liar and a coward, and he always pretends that all of us are weaklings, especially you and Kakarrot. Get a backbone and defend your family's pride."

"For once, I agree with short shit there," Piccolo whispered. "Trust us. Stand back and pretend you wanna watch the champion in action."

"More like champion inaction," Gohan whispered. In a loud voice, so the entire crowd could hear, he said, "Thanks for the kind offer, Mr. Satan, but I know you can take these guys easy, and I'd love to see the champ in action. I'll just guard the crowd if that's okay with you." Without giving him time to answer, Gohan and Piccolo backed off to float above the crowd.

"Wh-what?" Mr. Satan backed away several steps until he heard the crowd murmuring. Shit, I'm really gonna have to do this. Well, maybe I could even the odds, or if I can't do that, at least I'll have something to fall back on. "Well now, I don't mind fighting you, but isn't three against one kind of unsportsmanlike?"

"Oh, of course," Vegeta said far too innocently. "That's why only the brats here will fight you. Even you should be able to defeat a couple of teenagers." He glanced at the boys. "Tear him apart, brats."

"Papa?" Trunks whispered. "Aren't you gonna help?"

"Yes, I'll be keeping those annoying humans off your back."

"Which humans?" Goten asked.

"Those ones," Vegeta said, pointing down the field.

Everyone turned to see what he was looking at and gasped at the pack of fighters flying across the field, one of them an old man riding a cloud and another a seeming midget, with one female running after them. A three-eyed fighter weaved through the air and a short clown followed behind.

"You son of a bitch!" Krillin yelled. "You leave him alone!"

With one more glance to make sure that Gohan and Piccolo wouldn't join the fight, Vegeta turned his full attention to the humans. "It seems you five are underdressed. You've forgotten your masks. Well, except for the clown, of course."

"I'm not a clown!" Chaotzu yelled, coming to a stop several yards away. "Keep him busy, guys. Just buy me a little time."

"Right," Tien said.

When he saw Tien charge, Vegeta smirked and held up one hand. "Ah, just the human I wanted to see." As he aimed, he felt a prickling in the back of his mind, and he looked up at Chaotzu. "Oh, does the little clown want to get inside my head?

Halfway between Chaotzu and Vegeta, Tien stopped and gasped. "Oh no, he's sensed him!"

"Here then, let me help you." Vegeta closed his eyes and pushed a few choice memories forward, forcing them towards Chaotzu. "Come and see the hell in my mind!"

With a scream that seemed too loud for such a small body, Chaotzu bent backwards and grabbed his head, trying to shake out the images. Alien cities that once touched the sky exploded into gravel, body parts blasted into the air and intelligent life forms reduced to kabobs on the fires fueled by their libraries. He screamed again and fell out of the sky. Tien caught him and set him down gently, but he continued to moan as if caught in a nightmare.

"What's the matter?" Vegeta said. "Didn't like the guided tour?"

"Frying pan attack!" ChiChi screeched.

"What the hell?" Vegeta looked down just in time to dodge an iron pan sailing where his head had been. "Crazy woman! You brought that to a carnival?"

"I brought twenty more of 'em," she said, flinging another.

As he dodged that attack, he sensed someone trying to sneak up from behind. With battle-honed reflexes, he caught the pan, whirled around and smacked Roshi off of his nimbus. A yell to his left tipped him off that Krillin was trying now, and he sent a ki bolt towards the smaller fighter. As the ki exploded around him, ChiChi screamed and Roshi, now on his ass in the grass, gasped at plume of smoke. Tien raced to help his friend. Krillin's charred outline came into view, followed by a smoldering shirt, burned jeans and a dazed look on his face.

And no hair.

"Oh no," Krillin said as he patted his head, feeling for hair but only dislodging cinders. "Eighteen's gonna kill me. She'll think I shaved it off again."

"Well," Vegeta started, "since not getting any is your requirement for being gay, I suppose you'll be after Roshi any time now."

Now a few inches from Krillin, Tien suddenly backed away.

Krillin scrunched up his face. "Ewww..."

"Hey!" Roshi said, standing up. "I may be old, but I've still got it." He wiggled his hips and grinned.

"Oh my God," ChiChi said. "Now he's corrupting Krillin and Roshi."

"I'm not corrupted," Krillin said. "I'm not I'm not I'm not!"

"You're just in denial," Vegeta said. "Soon you'll be leaving Eighteen for Oolong."

"No!"

On the sidelines, Piccolo turned greener than usual. "I did not need that mental image." Half a second later, he caught a frying pan in the face. Only Gohan's outstretched arm kept him from falling into the stands.

"Uh, good catch, Great Green Bean," Gohan said. "That pan might've hit someone."

Piccolo flung the pan to the ground. "I think I liked being evil better."

~*~*~*~*~*~

A few seconds into Vegeta's battle, Trunks and Goten turned to face Mr. Satan, who trembled so much his afro shook. The half of the crowd not watching the first fight stared at their champion, wondering when he'd destroy the two villains. The remaining actors waddled off the field as fast as they could, but their huge rubber heads weighed them down.

"Now look, you two," Mr. Satan said. "I don't want to hurt you. You're not really that bad, are you? I'm sure you're good kids, underneath those masks."

"Of course we're good. We're not liars," Goten said.

"Well," Trunks said, "not most of the time."

"We don't take credit for other people's battles," Goten said. "And we don't try to belittle anyone stronger just because we're jealous."

"Well, maybe dad does," Trunks said.

"I heard that, brat!"

"And unlike you, we're just as powerful as we say we are!" Goten shot a massive blast at Mr. Satan, sending the champion and a huge divot of earth into the air.

The champion landed with a thud on the rubber Cell, bouncing both of them into the air. Gohan caught Rubber Cell and set him in the stands, but Mr. Satan hit the ground again, and this time he didn't bounce.

"Ow..."

"One hit?" Goten said, flying down until he floated inches above the champion. "That's all it took, one lousy hit?"

"Maybe we should give him more of a chance," Trunks said, nudging Mr. Satan with his boot. "He's just human, after all."

"Ewww, I don't wanna touch him," Goten said.

"Well one of us has to hit him."

"You do it, then." He looked at Mr. Satan. "That is, if he's still alive."

With a groan, Mr. Satan pushed himself back on his feet, gathering strength as the crowd cheered. "That's it, no more tricks out of you. If you wanna fight, then fight me on the ground. Unless you're too much of a coward--"

"What did you call me?" Trunks said, floating to the ground.

"Uh-oh." Goten backed away and stood beside his brother.

"You okay?" Gohan asked. "What're you doing over here?"

"He called Trunks a coward." He glanced up at his brother. "He takes that about as well as his dad."

Both Piccolo and Gohan looked at Trunks, who glared at Mr. Satan with the same look Vegeta had in fights to the death. "Uh-oh."

"You think you're so strong," Trunks said. "Come and fight me, then!"

"Gladly." Mr. Satan reached his fist back, screamed as loud as he could, and slammed his fist into Trunks' chest.

A second later, he crumpled to the ground cradling his shattered hand, sobbing something about smoke and mirrors while Trunks crossed his arms.

"What's the matter, fool? Your brat not here to save you this time?"

"Whoa," Gohan said. "He's just like his father."

"That's disturbing," Piccolo said, glancing between father and son. "It's like there's two Vegetas."

A ki blast took their attention back to Vegeta, who spouted a long stream of curses while trying to blow up Tien. He aimed between Tien's three eyes, but a flying frying pan blocked the hit. The next shot took off Krillin's shirt, which made Tien avoid the short warrior even more.

"Don't come near me," Tien said, keeping just out of Krillin's reach. "You're half naked."

"It's not my fault," Krillin said. "It's just the fighting, that's all."

While the two argued, Vegeta aimed again, but the nimbus flew into his face. He could still feel Tien's location, but when he fired and the smoke and cloud cleared, Tien had merely lost most of his pants.

"Shit!" Vegeta yelled. "If I could just kill you and be done with it." He flew back to the ground and flung one of ChiChi's pans back at her.

The rest of the fighters dropped out of the sky and into fighting stances, surrounding him. ChiChi screamed once and all of them charged, frying pan or cane or smoldering fists at the ready. A second later they bounced back to the ground, scattered as Vegeta put his arms out and expanded a huge bubble of ki around himself.

"Come on," Krillin said, struggling to stand up again. "We gotta stop him. Goku and Goten and Gohan, they're counting on us."

With a weary nod, Roshi also sat straight, spitting out a little blood as he did. "You're right. They're so far gone they're not even trying to stop Vegeta."

"I'll do it," ChiChi said, using her last frying pan as a makeshift cane. "For the manhoods of my sons and my husband."

"And to stop Vegeta's perverse corruption," Tien said.

"Dammit! Stop calling me perverse!" Vegeta stomped one boot on the ground, looking like Trunks used to when throwing a mild tantrum.

Shockwaves rippled through the dirt like water, radiating from his boot towards the stands. Anyone standing fell, and Trunks flew off the ground as he watched the dirt twist up under the stands and then settle down again. The crowd fell silent, until a moment later when the stands creaked and tilted one way before finally collapsing.

"Oh no," Gohan said, looking around at the audience. "Is anyone hurt?"

"The seats weren't very high," Piccolo said. "The only ones who'll get worse than a splinter are the fat ones, and I bet they bounce."

"Piccolo!"

"Damn." Vegeta glanced at the crumbled stands and the humans gradually standing. "Those're some cheap seats."

"Vegeta."

The familiar voice made him whirl around. Goku hovered a few feet above him, coming down to stand in front of his prince.

"About time you showed up," Vegeta said, crossing his arms. "Done sulking?"

Without a word, Goku looked at the demolished stands, the groaning humans, sobbing Mr. Satan and the Z fighters on the ground. He glanced back at Vegeta.

"Don't look at me. They struck first."

"And the audience?"

"Blame the carnival's crappy seats."

"It's okay." Goku smiled as his prince looked away. "I know you didn't mean to do that. What about Mr. Satan? He looks like he's in pain."

"He lost a fight with our brats."

"Ah." Goku brushed his fingers along Vegeta's cheek, the cloak hiding his face. "This has to stop."

"Why? I'm not done with them yet," he said, jerking his head towards the fighters.

"Vegeta, they just don't understand--" he stopped as his mate pulled back, his eyes sparking with excess ki.

"No, I don't understand how you can stand there and let those humans insult your mate and your sons."

"Just give them time--"

"You low class son of a bitch..." Vegeta raised his hand, palm out, towards the crowd.

"No!" Goku tried to jump forward, drag his arm down, anything to stop him. Across the field, Gohan and Piccolo, Goten and Trunks, even the Z fighters, screamed as they realized what was about to happen even as they knew they couldn't stop it.

The ki gathered in Vegeta's hand, spinning into a glowing ball, then launched across the ground, racing towards the stands...

...and slamming Tien right between the eyes, bouncing him over the stands and into a cotton candy cart.

While everyone gawked or breathed a sigh of relief, Vegeta slammed a fist into Goku's stomach, leaving him on his knees on the ground as he zoomed out of the field and into the empty carnival.

"Dad!" Gohan helped his father stand straight. "Are you all right? I can't believe he sucker punched you like that."

"He's just hurt," Goku said. "I think it's been a bad day for all of us."

"Yeah. At least he didn't kill anyone."

"He really held himself back." Goku took a deep breath and glanced at the humans on the ground. "I'd better go after him. Can you--"

"--see to anyone's injuries, and get the brats home?" Gohan grinned. "No problem."

"Thanks. Um, wait." Goku rubbed the back of his head as he looked at ChiChi. "Maybe you and Goten shouldn't go home."

"Dad." Gohan put his hand on his father's shoulders. "I know. I'll stay with Piccolo, and I'm sure you and Goten can stay at Capsule Corps."

"You think Bulma won't mind?"

"I know she won't. She was defending us, remember? And whatever she said to Yamcha, it kept him from joining Krillin and Tien and Roshi. Go on." He pushed Goku forward a few inches. "Before Vegeta levels the carnival."

"Yeah. See ya!" Goku disappeared after his lover, leaving Gohan and Piccolo with a mess of humans and broken wood.

A few feet from the wailing champion, Trunks stood with his eyes shut, arms crossed, motionless. He felt Goten's ki come closer, but he didn't move.

"Trunks? Are you okay now?"

"I..." He sighed and lowered his head. "Still a little pissed."

"No kidding. I don't think he'll be getting up anytime soon." Goten put his arm around his mate's shoulders. "Come on, I think we'd better leave now."

"Why the rush? There's still plenty of cotton candy to grab."

"No, Tien's in that. But I'm not in the mood to fight Videl whenever she gets around to coming here, and Gohan's got that look in his eye."

"What look?"

"That get-out-of-your-villain-costumes-and-help-me-clean-this-mess look."

Trunks grimaced. "Yuck. Let's go." He grabbed Goten's hand and flew up, dragging his mate behind him. "Oh wait, I just remembered something." After a quick survey of the field, he spotted several rockets lined up behind a high security fence. "There they are." He sent a few ki blasts to light the rockets all at once and then dashed out of the line of fire as hundreds of fire works went off in a huge blaze.

"Trunks! Goten! Get back here!"

~*~*~*~*~*~

Still rubbing his sore stomach, Goku followed Vegeta's ki past the rigged carnival games, through the food booths and into the Fun House. He gave a silent thanks that the walls had no scorch marks and that the walls were still standing. "Vegeta?"

"Leave me alone!"

Two ki bolts zapped out of the darkness and set the ends of his hair on fire. He pinched them out and ran inside.

"Come on, Vegeta, don't be like this." He rounded a corner and spotted the edge of his lover's cloak going around another turn.

"Like what?" Vegeta's voice echoed in the empty halls. "Pissed that my mate won't let me kill someone who insults me? That he won't kill them either?"

"Vegeta..." He ran past the glowing skeletons and bats, and turned another corner to see someone facing him. He stopped, and the other person stopped. Without enough light to see this stranger, Goku only felt more nervous when he realized he felt no ki besides his own. He took a step and paused as the other stepped with him. After a deep breath, he charged towards the dark figure and collided against the wall, the sound of glass breaking around him. "Stupid mirror."

When he stood up again, he found that he'd lost Vegeta's ki. "He must be repressing it." He walked down the halls, looking down the dark corridors for stairs or a way out. "Vegeta? Are you in here?"

"I'm here, fool!"

Crashing through the wall beside him, Vegeta gave Goku another good punch and flew down the hall inches from his mate's outstretched hands. With the wind knocked out of him, Goku slowly fell behind until he struggled to keep Vegeta in sight. Then Vegeta disappeared.

"What the...?" He turned to look behind himself, but his mate hadn't backtracked. He backed up the hallway and stepped through a large hole in the floor, sending him crashing to a hidden basement. "Ow." Glowing demon faces and red eyes told him this was part of the fun house, probably still under construction. Only the blacklight reaching through the hole lit the glow paint and gave him something to see by.

"Clumsy idiot."

Goku looked up and saw Vegeta standing away from the lights, arms crossed. "Come on, Vegeta. I wanna go home."

"Go to hell."

"I know they hurt you," Goku said, standing, "but if you don't stop being angry, it'll just keep hurting you more--"

"Don't you dare lecture me about pain!" Vegeta took a step back. "I've lived with more pain than you'll ever know. My anger's all that's kept me sane."

"I know." Goku held out his hand. "But you--"

"Fuck you and your weak platitudes!" Vegeta raised his hands and fired dozens of ki blasts. "I'm sick of you. I hate you!"

Even with his arms in an X block, several blasts still burned away Goku's clothes and grazed his skin. He winced and fired his own bolt, focusing on Vegeta's hands. It caught his prince by surprise, exploding one last blast in his face and throwing him backwards.

"Fine." Goku straightened, his face cold. "If this is the only way you'll stop throwing a tantrum--" He stopped when he saw his mate's face. The cloak and mask were gone, letting him see the tears flowing down Vegeta's face. A second later, Vegeta was up and running again.

"Oh no..." Without any light to guide him, he bumped into wall after wall, finally walking with one hand stretched out and the other on the wall. He walked for several minutes, feeling Vegeta's ki around him but unable to find him in the maze.

A blast sounded to his left, and Goku realized Vegeta had tired of wandering and decided to leave through his own door. Goku sighed and raised one hand, about to create his own door, when the wall in front of him burst apart and Vegeta flew through. He wrapped his arms around Goku's waist and pressed his face against the larger chest, closing his eyes tight.

"Vegeta?" Goku looked down the newly created hall. After a moment, he figured that the hole Vegeta had created had let in some black light, which illuminated a painting that hadn't been visible before.

Several purple tentacles floated around a demon the painter hadn't finished, leaving it just a white figure with pink and purple spots. In fact, the tentacles looked more like large worms, and the placement of some of them around the demon...

Goku knew now why worms frightened Vegeta.

With a loud sigh, he put his arms around his mate and gently squeezed. "It's all right. It's just a painting. It's not real." He watched Vegeta look over his shoulder at the design, then press even closer. "Must've startled the heck out of you, huh?"

"Mm."

"Come on. Let's go home." He touched his fingers to his head and concentrated, taking them back to their shared bedroom. He sat down on the bed and pulled Vegeta into his lap, stroking his hair. After a moment, Vegeta relaxed and leaned against him.

"It's all your fault," he said, his voice muffled against Goku's neck.

"Huh? Why?"

"Your dumb idea to go to that carnival."

"I'm sorry." Goku brushed a few tears from his love's eyes and hugged him. "I didn't think that would happen."

"Obviously." He took a deep breath and stifled a few hiccoughs. "You promised ice cream."

"Oh yeah. I'll go get it." One more nuzzle, then he eased out from under Vegeta and went to the door.

"Kakarrot."

"Yeah?"

"I'll be in the living room." Vegeta stood up and walked to the window.

"Um, okay." Goku watched him fly out the window and out of sight. With another sigh, he walked downstairs to the kitchen, nearly tripping over Yamcha, who lay stretched out on the ground. "Yamcha? What're you doing down there?"

"Huh?" Yamcha looked up at him and gave a half-grin. "Oh, Bulma lost an earring under the fridge."

"Oh." Goku stepped over him and opened the freezer, pulling out a white bucket of ice cream larger than his head. "Why didn't you just pick the fridge up?"

With both of his hands under the fridge and dust particles in his hair, Yamcha blinked and looked at him. "Good question. Could you lift it up for me?"

"Sure." Goku set the bucket down and picked up the fridge. Gleaming in the dust lay a green circle.

"There it is." Yamcha grabbed it and stood. "Hey, uh...Goku?"

"Yeah?" He picked up the bucket and moved it from hand to hand so it wouldn't freeze his skin.

"Um, I'm sorry about earlier today. Bulma explained it to me, and um..." He rubbed the back of his neck and stared at the floor. "I don't get it, but I guess if you're happy with it...I guess I can learn to handle it."

Goku smiled. "I understand. I guess it is a little weird at first."

"Yeah, I mean...Vegeta, who'd of guessed?"

"Stupid human."

Both of them jumped back as Vegeta stepped in, grabbed the ice cream and turned to leave.

"No, Vegeta..." Yamcha braced himself as the Saiyan prince turned. "It's not that. It's just...I just needed a little time to get it, but the idea of any two guys together still seems yucky to me. It's just the way I am."

"Hm. Of course it is. You're only human." Vegeta took two spoons out of a drawer. "Does this mean I'm not manipulating the idiot?"

"No, you're not manipulating him," Yamcha said with a smile. "But maybe you have him wrapped around your finger?"

"Hm." Vegeta couldn't stop his slight smile.

"Huh?" Goku looked at Yamcha and then Vegeta's back as the prince went into the living room. "I don't get it."

"Well, I better get this back to Bulma," Yamcha said and all but ran down the hall.

"Huh?"

~*~*~*~*~*~

When Bulma and Yamcha came out later, they found Vegeta leaning against Goku on the couch, half the ice cream gone. Trunks sat in the recliner on the side, eating a pizza slice, and Goten floating upside down behind him, finishing off one slice and going for another.

"Goten," Bulma sighed, "can't you sit like everyone else?"

"He tried," Trunks said. "After the fifth minute, he got so squirmy he started floating."

Bulma sat down on the opposite couch and patted the seat beside her until Yamcha joined her. She lay down with her head on his lap. "What are you watching?"

"A comedy," Vegeta said.

"Vegeta," Goku said. He looked at Bulma. "Reporters are grilling Mr. Satan and trying to get Gohan to do an interview."

On the television screen, the Great Saiyaman backed up as the reporters followed him across the field.

"Great Saiyaman, how did you defeat those villains?"

"If Mr. Satan couldn't defeat them, does that mean you're stronger than he is?"

"Would you like us to change our city's name to Saiya City?"

"Great Saiyaman, would you give our network an exclusive interview?"

"Great Saiyaman, can I have your baby?"

A thud behind Trunks told them Goten had just fallen to the floor laughing.

In the background, Mr. Satan screamed at the reporters from his stretcher as he was loaded onto an ambulance.

"Hey, interview me, I'm the champion of Satan City and--" his eyes bugged out. "Ow ow ow ow! Someone hit my hand!"

A second later, Piccolo stumbled into view, three screaming girls wrapping around his chest and waist with another on his leg and a fifth hanging onto his arm. He tried to shake her off, and in the meantime a sixth girl jumped on his back and wrapped her thighs around his head.

"Help!" he yelled. "How do you get them off?"

"Great Green Bean, let me have your child!"

"Are you green *everywhere*?"

"Why did you change your costume? You look good in straps."

"You're so tall. Is everything about you big?"

"Ooh, what do these antennae do?"

Piccolo's eyes bugged out much like Mr. Satan's had done as his antennae were stroked. Groaning and turning purple, he fell to one knee. "Help!"

Choking on a slice of pizza, Trunks struggled to breathe and laugh at the same time.

"Um, excuse me," Gohan said. He turned and fled the cameras, grabbed Piccolo's cape and jerked him skywards. Girls fell off like overripe fruit and Piccolo's eyes bugged out again as the girl's hands accidentally pulled his antennae.

"G'han..."

"Hang on, we're almost out of camera range."

"G'han..."

"Boy, you sure were covered in girls."

"G'han!" Miles up in the air, Piccolo pulled away from Gohan, tearing his cape. "Dammit, you were choking me!"

"Oh, sorry Piccolo. Hey, um, it is okay if I stay with you, right?" He glanced at the ground where Chaotzu and Krillin helped Tien out of the candy and Roshi patted ChiChi's shoulder only to be clobbered. "I know Goten and dad aren't going back, and I'm afraid of what mom might do if I did."

"No kidding. She's gonna be pissed for awhile." He lay his hand on Gohan's shoulder. "You know you can live with me from now on."

"Piccolo...was what I did right?" He floated closer and hugged him. "I mean, she's my mom. And Goten even cussed at her--"

"Gohan, I know you. You'd have married some girl and had a kid if didn't stand up to your mother sometime." He cupped Gohan's chin and made him look up. "Would you have been happy like that?"

"Well...I guess a son or a daughter would be nice, but..." he shook his head. "No. I'd probably argue all day with any girl strong enough to deal with me, and mom would probably make me live really close by. I wouldn't be happy. At least not as happy as you make me."

"And I like having you with me all the time," Piccolo said. "Even if I have to be the Great Green Bean some of the time."

"Or a Torture Twin?" Gohan grinned and switched out of his Saiyaman costume, back into his jeans and shirt. "That girl was right, you know. You look good in black straps."

Piccolo frowned.

"And that mask with a zipper. And the thong that rode up--"

"That's it," the Namek said. "I'm taking that whip to your backside."

"I bet I beat you back to the bedroom," Gohan said, flying away.

A second later, two golden streaks colored the sky, racing higher into the air.