Insecurities
by Lesleytonyb     More by this Writer
Vegeta looked at his naked form in the full-length mirror and sighed. He had tried for years to like what he sees looking back at him, to realize he is enough. Love yourself, isn’t that what everyone says? First you have to love yourself before anyone else can love you. They make it sound so simple, and yet, for Vegeta, it was almost impossible.

Vegeta looked at his naked form in the full-length mirror and sighed. He had tried for years to like what he sees looking back at him, to realize he is enough. Love yourself, isn’t that what everyone says? First you have to love yourself before anyone else can love you. They make it sound so simple, and yet, for Vegeta, it was almost impossible

Sure, his physique was flawless, his skin smooth, his muscles hard and prominent. He was desirable and he knew that, his looks could kill, on the rare occasion he would smile people have literally thrown themselves at his feet, his looks are perfect, no one could argue that.

Despite his beauty, all he saw staring back at him was a failure, a disappointment, weakness. He could never be perfect, he would never be stronger than Kakarot, he could never impress Freiza, or his father, or Nappa or any of the many people he had wished he could impress.

When he had quiet moments alone with his thoughts, they rarely treated him kindly, instead his insecurities lined up like toy soldiers waiting to take their aim and shoot him down. Infront of people he was the proud Saiyan Prince, self-assured and arrogant, but behind closed doors, he was just Vegeta, ruler of nothing not even his own mind, prince of no one.

His face still looked divine as a solitary tear rolled down his pristine cheek, his very perfection mocking him, why cant you be as you look, why cant you be perfect Vegeta, why can’t you believe in yourself the way you pretend you do, why cant your fighting skills be as honed as your acting?

Be perfect Vegeta. Be perfect like your father who ruled the Saiyan race with an iron fish and a heart of stone. Be perfect like Lord Freiza built up an empire of which he was the strongest and most feared in nearly all the universe. Be perfect like Kakarot and his pure heart and kind soul, caring to the point of naivety but still strong enough that no one can test him. be strong Vegeta, be perfect.

But he will never be prefect, he will never be enough. He will always stare darkly into the mirror picking out pieces of himself that will never measure up to the people he strives to be like. He will never be his father or Freiza or even Kakarot. He will only ever be Vegeta, mediocre Vegeta.

The door opens and Kakarot pokes his head through the gap

“You ok Veg, you’ve been in here a while” He asks hoping that Vegeta will open up to him. he sees the tracks that tears have left on his cheeks, he recognised the look of disappointment in Vegeta’s eyes, disappointment in himself. Kakarot knows Vegeta suffers with an extreme inferiority complex, of which he himself is a big contributor, he knows how much Vegeta beats himself up and he hates it. If only Vegeta could see himself the way everyone else sees him, the way that Kakarot sees him. He enters the bathroom and sits on the edge of the bath, taking in the perfection of the Saiyan prince who stands before him

“You hating on yourself again?” He asks gently

“No, why would I do such a thing?” Vegeta lies smoothly, to anyone else he would sound convincing but Kakarot sees straight through him

“it’s hard isn’t it, when you don’t live up to your own expectations” Kakarot say thoughtfully

“ha, what would you know of that Kakarot, you have surpassed every expectation you have ever given yourself, beaten every foe, saved every loved one, never made a mistake, you’re perfect, what have you got to doubt yourself for,” Vegeta says his voice full of venom, making Kakarot smile and adore him even more

“That’s what you think, but you’re wrong Vegeta. I still haven’t beat my biggest foe, the most important foes of mine, are still undefeated,”

“Who? Kakarot I have known you for 30 years, I know you have won every battle coz I have been there with you. What are you talking about fool?”

“Nah, my worst enemy is far harder to beat than any of those. But I will beat it, I promise,” he says looking deep into Vegeta’s eyes

“Oh, I see,” Vegeta rolls his eyes cottoning on to what Kakarot is blabbering on about “You’re talking about my insecurities right, this is all just some sissy speech to make me appreciate myself of some shit right?”

“Well, I was gonna say your demons were my biggest, toughest foe, but insecurities works fine too,” He smiles as he answers

“Right, and how do you intend to beat my “Demons”” Vegeta asks with a smirk

“By making you see yourself the way I see you. By telling you every day that you are enough. By loving you, no matter how you feel about yourself. I know you think that you failed but you never did. You amaze me Vegeta. I have never known anyone as strong as you, who could overcome what you have and still be a good person at the end of it. That’s what real strength is, the ability to keep yourself when everything is against you. Vegeta you are number one, and I’m gonna make sure you know it,” Kakarot tries to sound sincere, he isn’t great at this kind of thing. He tried to sound inspiring but always end up falling over his words and sounding a fool

“Thank you Kakarot, that was a beautiful sentiment, unfortunately it may take a little longer for me to believe it” Vegeta says rolling his eyes again and looking away from the other man.

“That’s ok Veg, you take all the time you need. We have forever, and even if it takes me that long to finally convince you ill still do it. I love you Vegeta”

“You’d better,” Vegeta answers pulling the younger Saiyan down for a kiss. He may not love himself yet but it was clear to see that Kakarot loved him, and as long as he had that he knew everything would be ok.

Comments

Boxer & Rice

Welcome to Boxer & Rice, your ultimate source for DBZ Yaoi/Gay/Boy's Love fanfiction, fanart, doujinshi, and comics since February 11th, 2001. Featuring pairings like Truhan (Gohan x Trunks), Kakavege (Goku x Vegeta), and more. Discover classic masterpieces and high-quality yaoi doujinshi scanlations, plus a detailed gay Kamasutra guide. Warning: Content not suitable for underage viewers. Viewer discretion is advised.

Affiliates

bnrweek

kakavege8

gotenboner

cartoonboner  yunius