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“We need to have sex right now.”

My little brother never even blinked as Mirai Trunks barged in the door and announced his presence without preamble. Ten-year-old Goten was more interested in sneaking a glance as my cards as I put them face-down on the table, but even in the midst of my surprise I kept them carefully hidden.

The lavender-haired time traveller breezed over to the couch I was sitting on and dropped down on it next to me, with the perpetual casual grace that regularly made my blood boil.

“Hey Goten,” he said, never once taking his lapus lazuli eyes off me, “you don’t mind if I interrupt your game to screw your brother, do you?”

Goten shook his head, a cheeky grin on his face. “Can I watch?” he asked mischievously. I looked at him with a raised eyebrow, but his expression never wavered. Rolling my eyes, I turned back to Trunks.

“What’s the matter?” I asked teasingly, “is my dad getting a bit boring for you?”

The nineteen-year-old heir to the Saiyan throne poked his tongue out at me childishly. It was ridiculously obvious to everyone that my father had a thing for Vegeta’s son from the future, but Trunks deliberately feigned ignorance even though virtually anybody else in the same position, male and female alike, would have been ecstatic to be on the receiving end of Goku’s affections. Mirai Trunks was strange that way – although he was an insatiable flirt, he had yet to find a real relationship.

“If you must know, yes,” he declared unexpectedly. I looked at him in surprise and right on cue, the charmingly flamboyant teenager affected a melodramatic pose of boredom. “He never wants to try new things,” he pouted. “He never even wants to go seme over me. No offence, dearest Gohan, but your father is quite the dullest man I’ve ever taken to my bed.”

As he spoke, making hand gestures and adopting an accent as if he was reciting a play, I wondered exactly how anyone had managed, when Trunks first came back in time, to miss the screamingly obvious fact that he was gay. Vegeta had guessed (“What are you looking at?” “Nothing, it’s just that I, uh, like your shirt.” “Hn. You would.”) but until the azure-eyed part-Saiyan decided to make a home for himself here in the past, everyone else, myself included, had been in the dark. Only when Trunks had settled in and begun to relax, let his true personality show through, had it become so blatantly obvious.

“I mean it’s always the same routine. Hand, head, fuck. Hand, head, fuck. I mean, for Kami’s sake, he even uses the same flavour lube. Do you have any idea, most beloved Gohan, how nauseating the scent and taste of rose can become after a hundred and eighty-four times?”

I couldn’t hold in laughter at the wide-eyed look of exasperation he gave me. “More than I wanted to know, thanks, Trunks,” I grinned.

“Do you guys talk like this all the time?” asked Goten. The onyx-eyed chibi was riveted to attention, listening intently to our conversation with an utterly fascinated look on his face. His cards were still pressed close to his chest so I couldn’t see them, but all his focus was clearly on Trunks and I.

“Oh, sure,” answered Mirai confidently, putting an arm around my shoulder and sliding one hand up my thigh. “Your brother’s like a rabbit on steroids sometimes, Goten.”

I laughed again, albeit a little nervously. “Come on, Trunks, quit giving my baby brother ideas. You’re corrupting him.”

“No, he’s not!” objected Goten. “Me and Chibi do that kind of stuff all the time, it’s loads of fun.” I almost choked. Goten and Chibi Trunks?! “So you don’t have to worry about corrupting me or anything, cos I’m already corrupted.” Mirai burst out laughing at the charming grin on my brother’s face and the dumbstruck expression on mine.

“Did you seriously not know?” demanded the other teen of me, grabbing me by the shoulders. He was grinning like a maniac, his sapphire eyes dancing with wicked amusement.

Goten piped up, “Yeah, Gohan, we don’t spend all our time training.”

I shook my head dazedly, causing Mirai to laugh delightedly and give me a hug. “You know what, you’re a real find, Gohan. So pure, so innocent – I may have to kiss you.”

So he did. Full on the mouth. Tongue and everything. I was too taken aback to do anything as he straddled my lap and pushed my shirt up, running his hands over my chest. A wicked buzz started to spread throughout my body and I suddenly became very aware of how delicious Trunks tasted. We’d kissed before, a couple of times when I was younger and the Cell Games had just finished, but somehow in the ten years since then I’d forgotten how damn good he was at this. Now I was being re-educated, with the rest of our bodies coming into play. A lump was forming in my pants right below Trunks’ hips, and I could feel his identical response pressing against my stomach.

Then a whoop from Goten made my mind turn to mush and, losing my head completely, I panicked and shoved Trunks off me. He sprawled on the floor, shoving the coffee table and my little brother back several feet. Cards went everywhere.

“Hey! What was that for?” shouted Goten.

Mirai didn’t say anything, simply looking at me darkly from under a messy veil of purple hair. Somehow managing to regain his customary grace, he got to his feet.

My heart was thudding in the throat and I wondered wildly why the hell I’d pushed him away. “I … uh, I’m sorry, Trunks … I just … I just panicked,” I stuttered clumsily. I couldn’t really explain what had gone through my mind just then – it was like something else had taken control of my body. Only an idiot would reject Trunks, and I really didn’t want to be classified an idiot. “I … I do want you, really,” I said, desperately trying to convince him. “I just got scared, that’s all.”

He wasn’t buying it. Slowly, the teenage demi-Saiyan turned around and headed for the door. My heart turned to lead and I found myself reaching out helplessly toward the retreating figure.

“No … please don’t go…”

Suddenly I was assaulted by a black-haired chibi who took my face in his hands and planted a slobbery kiss on my mouth. “MMPH MM MMMPPPHHH?!?!” I tried to yell, but Goten was in the way. I squirmed wildly, but the kid was strong and refused to let me escape his evil hentai clutches. The scrape and groan of the couch moving as I flailed my arms and legs wildly was quieter in my ears than the smooching noises Goten made as he continued to kiss me extremely sloppily.

My little ten-year-old brother was pashing me! Holy Kami, what the fuck did he think he was doing? Damn that kid! When I’d told him during a training session that he could be as strong as I was, I hadn’t meant that he should use that power to do … this! I could feel his little tongue in my mouth, his hands holding my head still so I couldn’t twist away, and felt a wave of sickness in my stomach.

Abruptly his mouth left mine and I was staring, shocked beyond belief, at the evilly grinning face of my baby brother. As I gaped mindlessly at him, paralysed with horror, he gave me a last, wet, entirely unromantic snog before turning my face to look at the door.

There stood Trunks, cornflower-blue eyes wide in stunned amazement, eyebrows disappearing into his lavender hair, but not a sound emanating from his slightly-open mouth. He appeared to be frozen in place, not even that blink of an eye betraying the fact that he wasn’t a statue. Evidently he was just as surprised as I was.

“Look, Trunks, Gohan’s mouth is dirty. You’d better clean it.”

I slowly turned to look at my little brother again. He couldn’t keep the enormous grin off his face as he talked to the mirai version of his best friend and it occurred to me suddenly that he’d only done … ugh … what he’d done … to stop Trunks from walking off on me.

“You cheeky little devil,” I growled at him, but he could see the gratitude in my eyes. Although, maybe if he’d done it in a different way I’d be a little more thankful and a little less revolted…

“Yeah, I know,” he said cheerfully, and bounced out of the room without another word.

Trunks and I were now alone together. The teenager’s expression had lost none of its dumbfounded quality, but he seemed to have more control over his jaw now, as he’d managed to shut his mouth. He stared speechlessly at the doorway through which Goten had disappeared for a long moment, before gathering his wits about him, turning to face me again, and at long last finding his voice.

“Right, we really need to have sex right now.”