It was days like today that Son Goku began to second-guess his decision to bring the Saiyans back to life.
It had started with candy. There hadn't been any sugary foods on Vegetasei, so the idea of calorie-dense, super-sweet snacks was heaven to the revived Saiyans. Lollipops, glinting like gems; chewy, sticky caramels; chocolate bars full of peanuts or fluffy nougat--it had taken no time at all for them to become pretty much addicted to sweets. And then they'd found out that the Earthlings had a holiday where you dressed up in a costume, and people gave you candy for free.
They had immediately insisted on a trip to the nearest costume shop.
So here they were, on Halloween night, trick-or-treating. That wasn't the part Goku had a problem with, really. He'd taken Gohan and Goten trick-or-treating during their respective childhoods (and both had agreed to tag along to help keep things under control). No, the problem was that the Saiyans, denied an opportunity to erupt in violence, had decided to act out in...well, the only other way they ever acted out, really. The fact that the local costume store had stocked "sexy" versions of costumes alongside the regular stuff didn't help.
Raditz had started the teasing. He was wearing one of those godawful "sexy Aladdin" costumes that had the magic lamp sewn to the crotch of the pants. "Hey, if y'all rub it a few times, you get three wishes!" he said, gyrating his hips for effect.
"What a coincidence," purred Turles, who was dressed as a sexy nurse. "Because my wish is to rub it for you." He leaned closer as if to do just that.
"Come on, guys!" complained Goku. "Y'all promised ya wouldn't do that in public!" He nearly tripped over his big clown shoes, which were not nearly as easy to walk in as he'd thought when he'd got the damned things.
"Hey," leered Bardock, "does it count if I rub it with my tongue?" The lecherous older Saiyan had chosen a prison jumpsuit, because it gave him an excuse to wear his handcuffs in public.
Toma, who'd chosen a "sexy cop" outfit, tugged on Raditz's tail. "You can do that after your cavity search, honey."
"Would that be a trick, or a treat?" Nappa's Jason mask hid his smile, but his tail was twitching with excitement. "Or maybe both?"
"Behave, you guys!" scolded Gohan, who was wearing a cowboy costume. "You promised you wouldn't cause a scene!"
Broly was, of course, completely ignoring the Earth-raised Saiyans in favor of flirting with Trunks. "Mmm, little prince, I would totally milk you dry," he purred into Trunks's ear, ignoring the green makeup that was rubbing off his nose onto the teen's glass-of-milk costume. Broly had opted for Frankenstein's monster; he felt a sort of kinship with the creature. (Broly also had not been resurrected; nothing seemed to kill the freakishly-powerful Saiyan, so Goku had wished him sane and able to control his anger. So far, it was working tolerably well, but he seemed to have fixated on Trunks's "exotic" purple hair.) Trunks blushed. He'd worn this as a couple's costume with Goten! He wasn't interested in Broly in that way--besides, he hadn't forgotten the older Saiyan's rampage on Earth when Trunks had been a little kid.
"Eww, dude, he's 16! You're as old as my dad!" groaned Goten. "Besides," he said, gesturing at his chocolate-chip cookie costume, "he clearly wants a bite of this."
"Goten, that goes for you too!" the teen's older brother moaned. "You know how to behave!"
"Yeah, whatever, Mom,"
muttered Goten. "I'm totally eating all your candy."
Meanwhile, Vegeta had fixed his eyes on Goku's ass. The Saiyan prince had become very intrigued by Dracula after watching the movie several weeks ago. After extensive research, he'd managed to cobble together a surprisingly-accurate Vlad the Impaler costume--except, of course, that Vlad hadn't had his shirt open to show off his muscular torso. As he twirled his painted-wood scepter in his arm, Vegeta muttered, "I think I know what I want to impale tonight." He laughed as the earth-raised Saiyan blushed.
No, this was definitely not what Son Goku had signed up for at all, but if he could keep the other Saiyans under control long enough to prevent neighbors from calling the police, he certainly wouldn't mind giving at least one of them a reward for good behavior. He could feel the tingle in his clown pants already.