Beginnings Of Death
A failure. That’s all I am, all I’m ever destined to become. I couldn’t defeat the lizard that held me prisoner for the entirety of my youth. I, the Prince of a warrior race, have fallen to my knees before him just as I did so many years ago. I am at his mercy for the millionth time, and there isn’t a god I can pray to that will spare my life. I am a killer, purger of worlds and murderer of innocents. Worthless.
Kakarrot, why didn’t you have me destroyed when you had the chance? When I came to your planet in an attempt to fulfill my own selfish desires, and was ultimately defeated at the hands of your half breed son? That bald friend of yours had the guts to do me in, and I lied defenseless at the ningen’s feet, ready to embrace my final moments with open arms. But you stopped him. Damn you, you bloody hearted bastard! You could have ended my life, and never again would I have had to face this humiliation! Why didn’t you just send me to Hell, Kakarrot? It would have been so much easier never to see your face again. My hate for your pathetic cheer and forgiving nature may have subsided after a lonely eternity. You are despicable, Kakarrot. A low class, sorry excuse for a Saiyajin. Yet you gave me a fight I know I will never forget, in life or in death, and I wish I could stop thinking about your glittering, dark eyes that remind me so much of everything I lost and everything I know I am going to lose in a matter of moments.
My life is slipping from me with each shuddering breath I manage, and I can feel my pride perishing along with it, long-protected thoughts spewing from my lips the way crimson blood pours from my many wounds. I find myself pleading like a weakling, begging that you kill my tormentor. Not only for my life, but for the honor of my long-dead people, whose number will, I am sure, dwindle to merely one. That one is you, Kakarrot, and for that I am angry. Angry that I will not be the one to kill the murderous traitor that has put me in this wretched state more times than I can count. Angry that I lay dying before you, all the while knowing that my best-kept secret will perish along with me. I stare up into those dark, ebony orbs of yours, painfully reminded of my deepest want and desire. I am angry, finally, because I will never have you for myself.
I sigh as my vision darkens, the pain in my body a trifle compared to that in my aching heart. Goodbye, Kakarrot. Don’t...don’t forget me...
You’re bleeding. A lot. It tears my heart out to see you so sad, in so much pain. I know that your body isn’t the only thing he’s hurt. All the pride you’ve ever had has been shattered like your bones. I know. But I can’t allow myself to pity you like this, can I? I mean, you’ve hurt so many people, taken thousands of lives in cold blood. Oh, but you wouldn’t accept my pity. You wouldn’t want it. Vegeta, I think I understand what happened to you now. It’s not all your fault, the way you are. You’re in pain, and you deserve to keep your dignity in death. Unfortunately, it seems you have little else. No family, no home, no followers. Well, except me, of course, but I’m sure you don’t think I count. I’m just the low class baka, the idiot clown who uses his heart when he needs his head the most. Somehow, I’m okay with that now. You acknowledge me as a warrior, a part of the race you have always spoken of as a mighty people, not just the hungry idiot everyone else seems to label me as. I know you probably don’t mean it that way, but I’m glad you call me Kakarrot. It means more to me than you know. I just wish you would accept me somehow, allow me to tell you the way that I really feel. You are my Prince, a strong fighter with skills I never dreamed of. But you are not unbreakable, as is obvious from your shaking voice and broken body. It’s...good to see that you can feel. I never really thought you knew how to before now.
Who am I fooling? You are not just a fighter, royalty, the crying Ouji I now see before me. It’s taking all my considerable will and then some to refrain from kneeling down beside you and stroking your beautiful black hair and making everything okay. But you wouldn’t like that, and the last thing I want to do is make these last moments worse for you. Besides, it’s not even possible. I have no senzu with which to heal you, no water for your parched throat. I have to watch you die.
I feel myself sighing with sadness and guilt. I know you probably want me to leave you alone, to keep my third class eyes off your powerful, quivering body. But I just can’t. I need to see that fiery spirit shine in your beautiful eyes again, even if this will be the last time. That unbreakable strength and unfaltering determination I’ve fallen in love with. Yes, I admit it. I love you, Vegeta. My Prince, my desire. If only you would let me. If only you would allow me to hold your broken body in my arms and let your royal tears fall upon my shoulder, maybe you would be okay. Maybe you would die feeling...better than you do now. Maybe you just need someone to show you what love is.
You are reaching out towards me with strong, shaking fingers, and I gulp back a cry, using what’s left of my weakening resolve to keep myself from gathering you up and holding you close. I just want you to be happy, to feel good. I’m sorry I can’t take this pain from you, give you life again. Give you another chance.
I hear a final, pained grunt and your body falls still, ebony hair waving regally in the breeze. I whimper softly and pull your lifeless form up into my arms, turning my head so no one can see my tears.