The Substitute

They don’t understand. They never have… I don’t think they ever will. He’s watching me again. Can he sense my discomfort? Does he understand? I raise my eyes and hesitantly and meet that violet gaze… so much like my own. Looking into those eyes leaves me feeling cold. I look away quickly, letting my eyes rest on Gohan instead. What is Gohan feeling? He admitted to me before we became lovers that Mirai Trunks was the reason he’d first started to think about me in … in -that- way.

Gohan is staring at Mirai Trunks. He looks pale, shaken. /Oh, God…/ I feel my stomach lurch as I stare at him, the man I love more than life.

“So, Mirai Trunks, what brings you back?” Goku asks.

The older version of myself, Mirai, looks at Gohan. And I know. He came back to see Gohan because in his world Gohan is dead. He loves Gohan. Probably as much or maybe even more than I do. Gohan loves him… Gohan… My head is starting to ache. I press a hand against my stomach, resisting the urge to vomit. /Gohan only became involved with me because he loves… this man. Mirai Trunks./

“Goten, Trunks, you two should be heading off to school.” Chichi interrupts before Mirai Trunks can answer Goku’s question.

“AAWWW! But, Mom!” Goten cried immediately, his big brown eyes gazing up at her imploringly.

She’s his mother though, she’s immune to that look, “No buts. Mirai can explain to you later, -after- school is over.” She gently nudged Goten towards the door.

I stumbled back and then followed, eager to leave. I didn’t want to watch Gohan and Mirai staring at each other with longing in their eyes. I didn’t want to see the one I love lusting after another. Even if Mirai Trunks -was- the future version of me, he is no longer. He is -not- me.

I almost wish he was.

I glance back once before stepping out. Gohan is still gazing at Mirai, he doesn't even seem to realize I’m leaving, not that he cares anymore. It’s Mirai Trunks he’s loved all along. I was just a substitute.

And now that the real thing has arrived…

I’m a forgotten substitute.