You won't forgive me will you? I won't forgive you. Do you believe me? Perhaps in this last thing you will. But never again. I made sure of that.
It didn't work. His hands, his mouth, they couldn't erase your touch. I failed in that endeavor. I hope you're happy. Kami knows I tried. But it didn't work. It didn't work.
You used to love me. What happened? You'd touch me like I was the most precious thing in this world. Now you treat me like a good fuck. So who is it? Who took my place in your life? Because that's the only conclusion I can draw. Someone took my place, and you love them better than you ever loved me.
Just as you can't believe me, I can't believe you. Your hands don't touch me how they used to. Your mouth lies. I can hear them. They are in what you don't say and they scream at me. Have you even noticed?
I tried to pretend you still loved me. I really did. It didn't work. Bet you already guessed that though, didn't you? That makes me the slow one. I still don't know who my replacement is. However, you saw me with him. He isn't your replacement though. No one could replace you. He was just a fuck. I was just a fuck for him, too. He was supposed to erase the pain. To erase you. At least we both knew-I told him from the start. You never told me. It is for that which I can't forgive you.
You should have told me. You can fuck him all you want. He can take my place. I can live with that. I'll have to. I forgive you for that. But you didn't tell me. Don't you think I have the right to know I'm no longer wanted? Didn't I let you catch me, let you watch me with him, let you know?
And now? Now I'm telling you about it. It's more than you've ever done for me. Do you even have anything to say? Don't answer that. Even if you do I don't want to hear it. I don't want to be told I'm right. The pain is great enough already. And if I'm wrong? But I'm not. Because even if I were wrong about being replaced you won't take me back. Not after what I've done. The end result is the same. Betrayal and loss. The only difference will be who was betrayed. I don't even want to know.
My heart died when you fucked me for the first time. I noticed the difference right away. It's never been the same since. You don't touch me with love anymore. So tell me I'm wrong. Tell me there is no one else. I won't believe you. Which is only fair because now you won't believe me either. I've dug myself a fine trap, haven't I? I'm damned either way now.
You betrayed me and I've betrayed you, but I'm the only loser in this. Because even after what you've done, even after what I've done, I still love you. Your touch will linger on my skin for eternity. That gives you the final victory. That gives you the win. And I am forever lost.
