Chapter 01
“This is… difficult.”
“You’re telling me.”
“I mean,” A concerned glance cast to the other. “It’s not that I don’t like you or anything. It’s just…”
A sigh from the second speaker halted the hesitancy of the first.
“I know.”
“It’s been so long!” the first cried, confusion getting the best of him. The second could hear the uncertain pain trembling in his words.
Another sigh. “I know, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to dump this on you, it’s only…” He turned his head, fixing his eyes on the face of the one next to him, the winter sunlight caressing his profile, his soft lips in a thin line from the worry he had caused. He took a deep breath. “I really like you and I… I couldn’t keep quiet anymore. I couldn’t stay away.”
There was silence from the other. The second felt as though the first was at a loss for something to say.
“I understand if you don’t want me to be around,” he said, almost sincere. He wouldn’t really understand but he would try to, for the first’s sake. He cared too much about him to make him suffer for his own mistakes.
“I do want you around,” the first said quietly, almost too quiet to hear.
“Gohan…”
“You’ve been away for far too long as it is. It’s painful not having you here. I just didn’t expect it to hurt even more having you back.”
“I’m sorry.”
Gohan turned his head to face him, in his dark eyes the reflection of the sun. “You keep saying that,” he said.
“It’s because I mean it.”
Gohan turned back to contemplating the light on the snow. “Why were you gone for so long?” he asked after a while.
“To give you time,” the second answered.
“Trunks?”
Trunks sighed. “It was wrong, back then. You needed a chance to fully understand what was… had happened between us. I needed to sort out my head. We both needed the time away from each other to do that.”
“You’re so certain.”
Trunks turned his head to find those dark intense eyes looking into him with an expression he hadn’t seen before. They were as hard as he had ever seen them.
He nodded, swallowing. “I am.” Taking another deep breath, he looked directly into those disarming eyes. “Gohan, if I hadn’t have left, what do you think might have happened between us? What might I have done? What might you have _let_ me do?” He shook his head, turning his eyes away. “It wasn’t right. It wouldn’t have been right. I could have… done some serious damage.”
“You don’t mean physically.”
Trunks exhaled through his nose, shaking his head again. “You could easily have stopped me if I had caused you that kind of pain. No, I’m talking about mentally, emotional pain. Having that kind of relationship at that age is damaging.”
“You speak as if from experience.” Gohan stated curiously. Trunks glanced at him and saw that his eyes had softened.
“Not quite personal,” he replied. “But a close friend when I was growing up. Similar situation; older man, intense relationship, only he didn’t do the right thing and call it off. My friend was… never the same around men after that. He had a twisted perception of what love was about. When I looked at you and saw the caring you had for me I couldn’t help but think of what had happened to my friend. I couldn’t do that to you.”
“What… what was he like?”
“My friend?”
Gohan nodded. “After the relationship with the older man ended.”
“It didn’t end,” Trunks answered. “At least not really. The older guy called it off but my friend had become so dependent on him for everything that he was incapable of taking care of himself. It was bad enough that you had no choice back then as it was, I didn’t want to make it so that you had no independence when you were older, too.”
Gohan’s brows drew down. “What do you mean I `had no choice’?”
“Just that,” Trunks answered, a tinge of annoyance twanging in his voice. “You were either doing your mother’s will or your father’s. I never noticed anyone asking what Gohan thought. What Gohan wanted to do. Did you?”
Gohan shook his head slowly.
“Can you imagine being like that now?”
The shake, this time, was faster. The expression of sorrow in his eyes said it all.
“Do you understand why I left now?”
A pause. “Yes.”
The first smile since they’d greeted each other smoothed across Trunks’s lips. “You know, it hasn’t been that long for me, since I last saw you,” He said. Hope was the main force that allowed those words out free.
“I know.” No resonance of optimism in the reply. “But it’s been five years for me.”
“Was it enough time?” Trunks asked quietly.
“Maybe too much,” Gohan replied. “I have a problem now, Trunks,” he said, leaning back on the park bench, his elbows cocked behind him. “I’m not sure how I feel anymore.”
Trunks’s smile fell. “Is there someone else?”
“No,” Gohan shook his head. “No, never.”
“Then what is it that makes you feel uncertain?”
Gohan tilted his head to the side, then lifted his chin to feet Trunks’s eyes. “Since you left that part of me hasn’t really been active, you know? It hasn’t had you around to keep it running. Sure, there’ve been some passing interests but nothing serious enough to get my heart working. My memories are kind of fuzzy and comparing how I felt then to how I feel now… just isn’t working.”
Trunks shifted on the park bench, the snow under his boots making a crunching sound as he moved them. He draped an arm along the back of the bench, his gloved hand just brushing Gohan’s wrist. “Will you allow an experiment, then?” he asked.
Gohan half turned on the bench to face him. “What kind of experiment?”
“Just one to see how well your heart remembers me,” He smiled.
Gohan eyed him suspiciously for a moment and then nodded his head in acceptance.
Trunks smiled at him in thanks, then shuffled closer on the bench. His clothing rustled with his movements, the snow crunching under his boots, the chill of the air biting at his fingers as he pulled his gloves off and lay them beside him on the bench.
Gohan watched his movements with a cool appraising stare. Trunks felt pushed to excel by that look and determination to see it melt enlivened his motions as he slipped his left hand up Gohan’s jacket-clad arm and around the back of his neck. Delving his still warm fingers beneath the scarf that encircled it, he stroked the heated flesh he felt beneath in small, teasing caresses.
Gohan inhaled sharply but so silently that Trunks almost missed it. Emboldened by the small reaction, Trunks reached out with his right hand and cupped Gohan’s cheek. Something in the other’s eyes flashed. It brought another smile to Trunks’s lips. With gentle force he pulled Gohan’s face closer, coercing and guiding the other until their foreheads rested together, the tips of their noses meeting softly amidst warm clouds of released breath. Trunks’s fingers still ran their courses, stroking below the scarf, teasing the slope of a jaw and the shell of an ear, but all else about them, save for their breathing, was still.
Slowly, with great care, Trunks nuzzled his nose against Gohan’s, then dipped his head a little further and brushed his lips across the other pair that hovered mere centimeters from his face. It was nothing more than a brush of a butterfly’s wing, as he’d intended it to be, but Gohan’s lips parted as if expecting much more.
“Do you feel it, Gohan?” Trunks whispered, his thumb stroking the mound of Gohan’s cheekbone. “Can you tell me what it is?”
Moist air curled against his mouth as Gohan exhaled, a fog of warmth to combat the cold air. “Only a touch,” was the answering whisper.
Another brush of lips, still fragile and slight. “What kind of touch?”
Sweet exhales against his jaw. “A loving touch.”
“And,” Trunks murmured, pulling himself closer to Gohan until their knees were touching and Gohan’s right arm lay pressed between their bodies. “What does this touch make you feel?”
“Warm.”
“And this?”
“It’s just a touch!” Gohan pulled back. Trunks just pulled him closer again.
“Is it really?”
Gohan tilted his head to the side as Trunks nuzzled his face into the thin strip of flesh between his jaw and the scarf. He inhaled a short hiccup of breath. “No,” he amended.
“So, what is it, Gohan?”
“It’s… It’s…” he stuttered into Trunks’s ear.
“It’s what?”
“Don’t make me say it, Trunks.”
Trunks nipped at the lobe of Gohan’s ear, then turned his head and stole his lips again. Pulling back, he held Gohan’s face in his hands until he met his eyes.
“Tell me, I need to hear it.”
Gohan sighed, lowering his eyes then bringing them sharply back up to clash with the blue of Trunks’s.
“Love,” he stated.
Trunks nudged Gohan’s nose with the tip of his own. “Whose love?”
Gohan sighed. Then he glared. Then he growled.
“Mine, alright!” He shouted, springing back and pulling away from Trunks’s hands. “Fine! My heart remembers you! Happy now?”
Trunks smiled, pure and bright. “Indubitably. ” He reached out for Gohan, longing to pull him back into the embrace but the dark haired teenager pulled away from him again.
“No!” He said, twisting his shoulders away from Trunks’s hands. “You’ve explained why you left and have made it clear you want to continue the relationship. Now, just answer me one thing.”
“What? Anything.” Trunks responded.
Gohan’s dark eyes bored into his own again. “Why?”
Trunks’s brows drew down and then lifted as the edges of his lips curled upwards in happiness. “You don’t know?” he teased.
“I want you to tell me. I need to hear it.”
Trunks nodded, accepting having his own words thrown back at him, then took Gohan’s gloved hand between his own rapidly cooling ones. “I love you,” he said.
Gohan finally smiled. “You should put your gloves back on.”
“I will.”
“Do it now, before they freeze and fall off.”
“Nope,” Trunks replied. “Gonna touch you first.”
“For what?”
“For this!”
“Aiii! Your hands are freezing!”
“All the better to do _this_ with!”
The sounds of snow crunching underfoot, being rapidly turned into slush, accompanied Gohan’s squirming.
“This is a public place you know!”
“Too cold for anyone to be out.”
“We’re out.”
A purr. “Lucky us.”
“Trunks!”
