Who’d have thought things would end this way? The world isn’t under alien threat nor is it approaching the end of its natural life but everything is about to end, unimaginable. I can’t blame global warming. I have only myself to blame as I look on at the shadow of your silhouette. The setting sun paints your outline brandy orange as you pace gallantly, boldly, away from me.
I pause, about to reach out to you, my fingers are already reaching for my forehead, shielding my eyes from the blazing semi-sun as I long to hold you.
“Don’t go…” I whisper. Tears well up, then overflow, and eventually spill shamelessly as I collapse, heart broken, to my knees. My hearts skips a beat as you turn and glance back. Your beautiful azure eyes glint with sadness as you and I share a final breath in the setting sun.
In the evening, I saw with you the orange sun
You looked like you were going to cry, eternal goodbye
Only short, fantastic hours ago, we were sat together at the edge of that cliff; the cliff to the East where the sun would rise each morning before we began our endless waltz. To fight, to sing and dance, to love; it was all we knew together in our world of destruction.
“We must promise,” you had said, “that we will always meet here before we leave, so that we might say goodbye before the day's end.”
Sand, snow, Savannah, and swamp, we had sampled each in all its delights. Intimate and honest, you and I had something uncommon. Even now, the sparkling tear drops remind me of our time at the beach; the mid-day sun shimmering in the salty water, against such a backdrop you looked to be an angel.
The glittering waves played with your innocent profile, you are lovely as you run past me barefoot on the sandy beach.
Together, we enjoyed the water. Close, we enjoyed each other. Happy, we enjoyed such fleeting moments. You would smile and the world was no longer under threat. Life was simpler, I failed to see the devastation. I was ignorant of our suffering. I was answerable only to your pleas.
“Shall we leave? It’s growing dark, the sun is setting.” I would take you by the hand and try to coax you from the shimmering waves but to no avail. You would always pull me back, laughing and saying that it wasn’t late. We didn’t have to leave. I didn’t want to leave. Your laughter was my medicine, a drug I could not refuse. I needed to sample it each day. I needed my spirits raised.
Your name written in the sand and the seashells decorating it are swept away by the waves in front of the two of us.
You swept me away on your tide of joy, the undertow of lust, and the waves of jubilation. No religion, no drug, no false hope, could’ve had me more in love than your bewitching innocence. Sitting on the sandy shore, you wave at me, and I at you. Together, we know that we’re thinking the same lustrous thoughts, feeling the same whole love. Splashing and fumbling, you present me with a conch shell.
“Hold it to your ear! You will hear the ocean and the gulls!” You look at me intently with wide, curious, stunning blue eyes. I become drowned in the sea of your gaze. Each eye a whirl pool of certain, consuming doom.
“Don’t be foolish, my koi! It is nothing but the blood in your body that you hear!” Your facial expression alters, creasing your forehead and squinting your eyes, you demand that I have more imagination. I answer to your whim, unable to refuse the melodious sound of your soothing voice. I want to hear your voice.
In the evening, I saw with you the orange sun. You looked like you were going to cry, eternal goodbye.
A gentle breeze sweeps your hair fiendishly across your perfect face. Sweetly, you grin and tuck the offending strands behind your ear. How I long for you to come back to me. I want to chase you, catch you. Pull you to the earth and hold you tightly, plant sweet, gentle kisses over every inch of you. I’d give it all away for one more moment, for my chance to say goodbye, to keep the promise we made, to hug you before you leave. The deep orange of the late evening sun lights you up. It sets you on fire, rich and bright, you stand out against the dimming sky. You are extravagant. You have become a real man, grown into a fine warrior. I wish I could tell you so.
The blue sky whispers softly, the red sunlight embraced us
I closed my eyes as I held you as well.
I recall our last, loving moments together. For hours we had toiled, sweat dripping from our aching limbs. You were bloody and bruised. I was sore and swollen. Still, we felt a certain pull. A gravity that had endured and strengthened and we sat up from the grassy floor and just stared. Your beautiful huge eyes twinkled with vibrance despite your beating. You leaped at me and hugged me, clung to me and burst into tears.
“I don’t want you to leave! I can’t bare the thought of life without you, master! Don’t go, I’ll do anything you ask!”
You looked up at me. Falling deeper and deeper into each others eyes, we closed the gap and our lips met. Our lips, then our tongues, and eventually we could hide it no longer. That day we proclaimed our feelings. All our pent up lust was released then and there, in that clearing in the small woodland. That woodland to the North, where the cold winds blow, locked together.
A great many joys or sadnesses countless meetings or farewells
Just the same as back then, it’s watching kindly, the orange sun.
Curse my actions! Damn my selfishness! All I want is to hold you, reassure you, help you. But now I can do nothing but watch and pray. I still love you but I understand if you are angry at me.
At that time, the two of us were dreaming about eternity, we held each other and laughed like we’d never part.
Since the first time, we’d make love anywhere, whenever we could. On that cliff to the East, where the sun would rise, where we had made our promise, we had spent long hours embracing one another and listening to our hearts beat together. Each morning we would greet there. Each evening, we would say goodbye there. For goodbye is the hardest word of all.
You do not laugh now. You are not smiling. I beg you to reconsider your unhappiness. I beg you to think over your depression. I long for you to notice me.
I think of you with almost amazement with just that I’m satisfied. Don’t cry, we’ll meet again some day, if you close your eyes…
I’m counting every moment, every minute since we last met. Since we last said goodbye. Since we last laughed. I shout, and I wave, and I try to run after you as you walk away.
“Come back! Don’t leave me! Please! I’m so sorry!”
But you do not come. You simply look from a distance, as if to look past me. Glazed eyes and tear stained cheeks, you are but a glowing shadow of your former self. You turn cautiously, as if afraid. As if you’ve heard me, you come carefully closer and scrutinize me. You are unsure and lost. Afraid and uncertain. The world had been cruel to you.
“I have dreams, Master. Dreams that you have come to me, that you still love me and that we are still together.”
A single tear releases itself from the stern look upon your face. You sniff, and you hiccup, swallowing your sadness to offer me your braver face.
“Master… My dreams seem so real. Real enough that we can touch, and talk.”
In the evening, I saw with you the orange sun. You looked like you were going to cry, eternal goodbye.
In the evening, I saw with you the orange sun. You looked like you were going to cry, eternal goodbye.
I try to touch you, I try to hold you, I try desperately to tell you it’s really alright. But every time I try, to my horror, my hands simply pass through you, my voice echoes into a void of silence and my feelings fail to reach you. You get down to your knees and lean your delicate head against my cold, rough headstone and sob. I wish I had been there that fateful morning, to say goodbye.
“It was in my dreams Master, that you met me that fateful morning and said ‘goodbye.’”
