Welcome to DBZ Love Garden

Papa...I never really knew you--and even if I did, what would I say? What could I say? I mean...here I am, the last of my kind, the prince of my people...hell. Who am I kidding.

Can I really be a prince if I'm my own, sole subject...?

...I don't know...

Good gods...I wish you were here...

I wish I was anywhere...

I guess...I mean...

I came to you today, Father, to ask for a favour. Yeah, I know. I'm a brat. I'm bothering you. I'm a half-assed half-breed who isn't fit to possess Saiya-jin blood, let alone wear the crown...

Whatever.

I don't know a lot about you, but I always listen when Mama speaks of my father.

She still loves you, you know. I have no idea if you ever really felt anything for her--anything other than the disgust and disapproval of her species, I mean.

Hn. I wonder if you were even capable of emotions...

But that's beside the point. I'm here for a reason, like I said.

Otousama...please. Whether you are capable of hearing me, whether you are capable of listening to me at all, I have no idea. I don't know what you know, and I will never claim to have seen what you have, but please, Father. Please. If you can...please...

Help me.

I know, I know. Mama calls me crazy every time she catches me talking to you. Mama says you never listed to anyone--no. You listened to Goku-san, but no one else.

She said if you cared at all, you'd still be alive now, and I wouldn't be where I am. She said if you had listened to anything at all you would have known how much she cared...

Gomen nasai...it's a little like the idea of your parents having sex, you know? I mean sex and love aren't as tied together as everyone says, right? I know she loved you, and I know you both...had...sex...but...

Nevermind. It's...unnecessary.

Anyway. Mama cared for you deeply, and she still does.

I never really knew you, but I'm sure you would have been a big influence in my life.

Gods...I don't have any idea how to say what I mean to. I've talked to you before, and I know I've been negligent in our weekly conversations, but...

I think I'm losing hope, Father.

I think they're going to win.

I think...I'm...scared.

I know fear is a sign of weakness, but it's also something else. You know. Survival tool.

Hn. Mebbe you wouldn't know. From what I hear, you're not really the kind of person to utilize his phobias.

Or maybe you were.

I guess I'll never know.

Gods...I don't know what to do, Papa. I'm so...afraid. I can't get to sleep without the thought that I've forgotten to tell Mama I loved her, or give Gohan-san a hug...

Gohan-san...

Papa...I really am lost.

I...I think I might...like Gohan-san.

Not, you know, 'like' like a friend. 'Like' like Mama 'likes' you.

Please don't laugh. Please don't leave just yet. Please don't walk away...just...stay for a little longer...? Please...? I know you're probably bored with the useless dribble of a teenager, and I'm sure by the time you were my age, you had conquered several hundred planets and ruled with the iron fist you were known to train by, but...I'm not you.

I'm not Mama, either, but she just can't see that.

I feel like no one understands me, Papa. What am I supposed to do if I don't...

How can I make myself clear to others, Papa? How did you handle situations and misunderstandings...?

I wish I could be more like you, Father.

But then again...I don't even know you...

I need a favour, Otousama.

I need help.

For the first time, I can see all the responsibility on the horizon. I know it's all going to fall on my shoulders someday--someday soon.

Sometimes, I tell them what I think they want to hear...and those times are the only ones I feel like they're listening.

Gohan's been training me, you know. He says I have great potential, I just need to find the right way to tap into it. He says I need to use my anger, but...

He tells me all the things I should be angry at--the androids terrorizing everyone, the fact the entire planet is on it's last leg.

Did you know it's going to explode...? Well...I think it might actually implode...you really can't have an explosion in space, since it's a vacuum and...gomen nasai. Sometimes I'm more like Mama than I'd wish to admit...so...with the abuse Chikyuu's gone through over the past ten years, it's really messed with the inner workings of the whole thing...

Papa...

What can I do? I can't do what Gohan-san wants me to. I feel like a failure.

What a great surprise, ne? The son who can't live up to the shadow of his parents--or their expectations....

But I've got to get to the point.

I think I might be in love with Gohan-san, Otousama. I mean...I guess that makes me gay...right...? But...how can I tell him how much I care? He's been training me for a while now, and I can see him getting more and more desperate each time we meet up with the androids. He gets this look in his eyes--he changes. All the soft protectiveness, like, vanishes, and all he sees are them.

And each time he goes out to fight, I think it's his last....

I don't want to be alone, Father. I don't want to be the last of my race--theonly member of my kind. I know Mama loves me, but she can't understand how hard it is to be...Saiyan. She puts these restrictions on me that Gohan-san does not. She doesn't want me to fight, he encourages it. She wants me to be like her, he wants me to be like...well...Saiyan.

He wants me to be like you. He thinks very highly of you--telling me stories of the times you fought side-by-side, telling me of how you got here, and what you did, and how strong and smart and commanding you were.

He tells me how much he admired you, and how after his father died you and Piccolo-sensei trained together--and that after Piccolo-sensei died, how you were his inspiration to keep going...

You were his prince, Father, and he would have done anything for you...and that's how I think of him.

I...love him.

But I'm his prince.

Is that okay...? Can I be like I am? I mean...gay...?

And with this entire 'end of the world' thing, and the androids, can I really afford to be the way I want? I don't think I'll ever tell him how I feel, but...

I guess I just needed someone to talk to again, Father. And the illusion that you may care, and that I never really knew you makes me feel justified somehow.

But I still need to make you up as I go along...

And I gotta go, Mama's in the hall again...

...Aishetaru, Otousama...

~~~~~~~~~~
He watch with misted eyes as the lavender-lit teen quietly turned off the small lamp on the makeshift stand besides his bed and pulled the covers up, hiding from the sliver of light that pierced the room as his mother once more peeked in on the boy.

Chuckling unabashedly at the woman's soft chiding he smiled, recalling those nights they'd laid entwined and indifferent to the world after the time had been spent carrying their affections for each other to the heavens and beyond...

"Hn."

He jerked upright at the sound, swallowing the ungraceful lump of nostalgia that caught his throat dry. Tensing as the slighter man moved to stand beside him, he shifted in his stance in order to hide the flush bridging his cheeks. "Konnichi wa, Bejiita."

Scowling at the disrespect he received from his towering counterpart, the stout Ouji merely grunted as he cast a menial glance downward. Watching as the boy below gingerly folded that familiar bit of starched white and carefully tucked it beneath his pillow, the Saiyan prince rolled his eyes. "Bakayarou. That brat's been defiling my glove again. Hn. Some day he will learn."

Drawing his brow down, the taller man eyed his companion with exasperation. "Yamero, Bejiita. You know he only talks because he cares."

Folding his arms he turned to face the man dead on. "Kakarotto. Do you really think I desire the adoration and irritation associated with that child? Do you think I need a constant reminder of my one moment of weakness, and the aftermath surrounding my bedding of that bitch?" Turning on his heel he took a sharp step from the man. "You are late for our spar. Do you intend to keep your word, or shall I attempt to find another to replace you?"

Closing his eyes the younger Saiyan curled his fists. It would be so very easy to destroy the man's illusion of offspring...to kill all the hope and pride he's seen on more than one occasion in the eyes of the diminutive prince...

"Hai, Bejiita." Casting one last look toward the dozing form of his youngest, the eldest Son grimaced in frustration. Following the lead of his oblivious Ouji, he resigned himself to the post he'd chosen nearly fourteen years previous. "I always keep my word..."