Welcome to DBZ Love Garden

You, it’s always been you. Even when I was a chibi, I had you, so isn’t it fitting I have you as a chibi…? I’m really not too sure…I mean, I know this kind of…affection is not all together…accepted by the majority, but…there’s just something so Kami-damned irresistible about you…how can I just walk away without having my mind put to rest…?

I know you like me. It’s so hard not to notice. I mean, c’mon, Trunks-san. You make it so easy to see: your gestures, your looks, your protectiveness… You don’t gotta be a rocket scientist to see it, you know. I know you like me. I mean really like me but I just…don’t think I…like you….

You know, in this time, I kinda think of you as more of a little brother than a potential lover. It was so easy to have a crush on Mirai you–you made it so damn easy. You were my everything, my guardian, my anchor…my love… but…in the end…that’s all I could really give you, wasn’t it? My love….

You make it so easy to see the truth, Trunks-san–even through the bangs, I could still see you watch me. You know…I’d almost think it creepy…if I wasn’t sure you were one of the good guys. That somehow makes it more comfortable, I think–knowing you’re on our side, I mean.

It has always been so easy for me to lose myself in you. Even as a chibi, you have this certain…charisma I just can’t deny. Neither can anyone else, for that matter. You can see it in their faces as soon as you walk into the room. Everybody loves Gohan but not quite the same way I do….

You’re cute, you know that, Trunks-san? The candies, the ice cream, the help with my home work…the flowers…the walks….the kiss… You were my first, you know. I never even kissed Lime, like everybody thinks I did. I can’t believe you were my first…

And you never even told me. Did you like it? Did you hate it? Did you want to ki blast me into the next dimension? You never said anything. You didn’t tell me. And this many weeks later, you still haven’t said anything…do you hate me for it…?

I really don’t think I like you like that, Trunks-san. I mean…you’re a guy. Okaasan told me all about your kind of people. But…I don’t want to believe anything she said…Isn’t it wrong to doubt your parents? That’s what I was always taught. Isn’t it wrong to not be yourself…? That’s what I was always taught….

I…I’m…not sure what I should do. I mean, I really…think…I love you, Gohan-san…but I…don’t think I know what to do…or where to go… Do you even like me? Anything more than an ally? Can you even see me as a friend…? I know you haven’t had many of those, that being around people your own age isn’t something you’ve been apt to do….

I love Okaasan. She was a great mom, and I know she has only the purest intentions, but…I…don’t know anymore. I love her, I really do. She only means to do her best for me, but…Darn it! Why’s this gotta be so darn hard…?

I know you love your family, Gohan-san but I can’t help but wonder at how much of your silence is mother-induced. She figures big into everything you do, of that much I’m certain. Heh. And then there was that time when you actually told her you were going with Okaasan to Namek. You’ve got spunk, chibi.

Why aren’t the answers easy anymore? Why can’t I just read the text and pull the correct response out of it like I’ve always done? I don’t like this indecision…this…feeling I have in the pit of my stomach every time I hear you mentioned in conversation.
I don’t like it, Trunks-san…but…what can I do…?

I wish there could be a way to show you exactly what you mean to me–how important you’ve been in my growing up. A kiss is just a kiss, ne…? Not when it’s a kiss from me to you…not when I want it to mean so much more than you think it does. Not when it’s…my way of saying how much I love you….

In a perfect world, Trunks-san, I think we could be friends. We could go out to eat, talk about our day, discuss inventions and histories of different areas of the universes… We could see a movie or maybe dissect the differences in your mother’s and Bulma-san’s ideas and theories… We could be friends, Trunks. It would be great to have a friend like that.

In a perfect world, we could be lovers, you and I. We could still go out for ice cream-I know your favorite flavor is still mint chocolate chip-or even out for lunch. We talk and laugh and do all the things we do now, except…maybe…I wouldn’t have to go home alone at the end of the evening…

It was so strange to see you today. I mean, we really haven’t…even spoke to each other since the other day. Well…I guess three weeks isn’t really considered ‘the other day’, ne? My concept of time has gone to heck since you’ve showed up…. I…just want to know how this is supposed to be….

I’m sorry I had to be there today, Gohan-san, but it was something of necessity, given it was Okaasan’s birthday and all. The time machine still has another month plus before it’s properly powered up. I hope you don’t mind if I stay, chibi. I promise it won’t be for too much longer.

But through all the confusion, I still find myself wondering things at night when I’m lying in bed trying to fall asleep. I mean, do I want you to leave? Do I want you to stay? Do I regret what happened? Do I want something more…?

I think I’m just tired of it all, Trunks-san. I think I’m just…tired of thinking….

Do you realize exactly how old you are, chibi? Seriously? All the stuff you’ve had to put up with in your life, all the deaths, the fighting, the tears… I know you got to have your father for a little while longer this time, but…isn’t odd how I come back here to save him, only for him to die again…? I’m so sorry you had to be there for that again, Gohan-san. I really did try…

I guess if Otousan were still here, he wouldn’t know what to do either. I know I can’t go to Okaasan…and although I love Bulma-san like a big sister, I don’t think she’d be all that thrilled with my choice. Dende knows I can’t talk to Vegeta-san…Mebbe Mr. Piccolo…?

You know, I think the Namek knows. I don’t know if you talked to him or if it has something to do with his ex-guardian status but the guy knows. And I swear he thinks it’s cute. Did you tell him…? I sure as hell didn’t.

Darn it! Darn it! Darn it! Why do I gotta think about this all the time?! I can’t even concentrate enough to meditate, let alone do my studies!
Darn you, Trunks-san! Darn you for making me think everything I thought I knew to be wrong!
Darn you for making me think I don’t know anything!
Darn you for being my friend…!
Darn you for making me think I love you…!

I really do wonder about you, kid. I mean, what are you gonna be like in two, three, eight years? Will you end up the same as my Gohan regardless of what’s happened?

No. I can’t see that happening. You’re even stronger than he was when he…

You’re stronger now, Gohan-san. If nothing else, I’d like to think I helped you with that.

Do I love you…? I mean, ‘love’…what is it…? It’s never defined the same way twice, as far as dictionaries and encyclopedias go…and if you ask people what they think, they’ll give you their definition of it. I know I ‘love’ my mother and father. I know I’ll ‘love’ my new sibling–whether it’s a girl or a boy won’t matter to me. I ‘love’ Bulma-san. And I’m sure, somewhere, I ‘love’ Vegeta-san, too, but…where do you fit in this equation…?

I’d…really like to talk to you again before I have to leave, Gohan-san. I never was good at good-byes but I refuse to let you go again without saying something. But I also don’t want to sound like a baka, either.

Will you hate me for loving you? Or resent me for leaving…?

Could you take me with you? I always wondered what the future would be like–Otousan said the old turtle hermit has a sister who can see into the future. Is it this future ours or yours she sees? …mebbe it’s ours…

Maybe it would be better if I left. I’ve got capsules. I can go live on an island somewhere until it’s time for me to go…just tell Okaasan this is something I need to do–even tell her I’m going sight-seeing… And all I really need is a minute to tell you what I need to, to tell you everything before I disappear with the promise of never returning… That’s all I really need…ne…?

I feel as though my…memory, my learning is trying to fool me. It’s one-sided. ‘Forest for the trees’, you know. And my conscious sounds exactly like Okaasan.

Would it be possible for me to forget everything I was taught…? Could I just start fresh–like a blank slate…?

I knew this temptation would be here when my ‘Kaasan told me what she was planning on doing. And if it weren’t for Goku-san, I surely would have come back simply to see you again. Gomen nasai, Gohan-san. I know I should have never…

Maybe…I can forget…?

So…you think it’s possible…? Like…do I…I mean can I…love you…? Is love the right word…? Am I…gay…? Dende-sama…is it…true…?

I…feel responsible for…something. I’m not quite sure what it is just yet, but there’s just…something… Am I…evil…? I mean, it’s not all that good to be screwing with the time-line like this but I’m only doing what we thought would help. What I guess mean is…well…have I…corrupted you…? Have I…tainted you…?

…I…I’m…mm…gay….No…that doesn’t sound right to me. Is it possibly to love a…guy…and not be gay…? …’Kaasan never said there’d be days like this…

I’m so afraid I’m turning out to be like Otousama. Arrogant, self serving, prideful, pain in the butt, passionate, attentive, alone… I…wish it were easier. I mean, if I leave tonight, could I possibly leave it all behind…? And if I can, what exactly am I losing…?

Oh.

Right.

You.

If I…go to you, if I sneak out of the house right now, and fly to you…would you…kiss me again…? Would you tell me, with actual words how you feel…? Would you take me home with you…? Would you take me away…? Kami-sama…part of me wishes you would….

My bag is packed. I never really unpacked it. It would be so easy to leave right now…just go…train…for the next six weeks. The window is right there. It’s already open. I can go anywhere I want to…well…almost anywhere……I can go anywhere I want to, except the one place I want to be…

Would you be willing to talk to me? Could we, like, figure this out…? I mean, I really like you, Trunks-san. Well…I’m starting to think I really like you….like you, like you like me…I-is that…okay…?

I want to like you in the same way you like me, chibi. I want to see it all from your perspective. I know I’m nervous–you have no idea…! …but… Is that how you feel? Are you nervous, too? Are we the same, after all…?

It would be real easy just to leave right now. I always have a bag packed–you never know when you’re going to go train in the woods with ‘Tousan, or need to go to another alien planet. All I gotta do is grab my toothbrush…… and the window’s already open…. It could be sooo easy….

Maybe I should talk to Otousama. As long as I keep it under a minute, he should be able to withstand me, ne…? After all, the man is full of surprises…Hmn. You know what would be really funny…? If my father had a crush on you, too, Gohan-san……but that might scare me…

I need to know, Trunks-san. I need to know if you’re thinking about this too. I might go crazy if I sneeze one more time…

Am I allergic to something…? I didn’t think Saiyans could get sick…well…I guess demi-Saiyans can, ne…? Darn sneezes….

****

/If ‘kaasan ever finds out about this…whole thing, I’m probably never gonna be able to get married…/ He jerked his head to the side, allowing the wind-matted sable to free itself from the confines of his vision. Sighing deeply, he turned a wary eye toward the moon. He wasn’t supposed to be afraid of it, after all, it was just a projection originating from Capsule Corporation so as to stave off the inevitable panic that would rise at the discovery of no moon, but he didn’t want to let his guard down.

Looking below, he watched the trees hurry past–their eagerness to do nothing more than they had since the beginning drawing a faint smile to his lips. /Lucky/ he thought as he rolled over onto his back to gaze at the stars as he traveled. /Darn things probably never had to think this hard in the entire existence of the world…/ Another sigh saw him slow, fingers grasping his dangling shoulder bag, shifting it to rest on his stomach as he continued his indecisive flight toward the faux moon’s origin.

Relaxing slightly into the velvety warmth of the late summer’s night, Gohan closed his eyes, releasing a slight puff of confusion as to his motivation. /Do I…I mean, am I…how do you re–/

Both he and his thought crashed headfirst into a suddenly present obstacle.

Funny…he never remembered there being any trees or rocks this high up before.

The young demi righted himself, idly rubbing the spot his head had impacted with a sore expression that brought his brow low in thought. “Darn it…” he huffed in minor irritation, freezing suddenly at the sound of his name.

“G-Gohan-san…?”

Never in a million moons would Trunks have thought to run into him here, now. Blinking back his surprise, the lavender lit prince licked his lips, coaxing speech to once more fall in the thin air between them. “Gohan…san…? Are you…are you all right…?”

Gohan stared, unblinking, at the figure half hidden by his diminutive, moonlit shadows. What the heck was going on? Where did Trunks come from? Was this a Capsule projection, too…?

Shaking the queries away, hand dropping from the back of his head to leave the slight bump he’d been tending to alone for the time being, the dark-eyed demi stared at his fair-haired counterpart. “T-t-Trunks…san…? I…didn’t see you…there…” he threw a quick gaze to the ground, eyes wandering over the terrain, looking for his invisible explanation as to why it was he was where he was this time of night. “I…I’m sorry…I guess I wasn’t…” he turned arched brow toward the pale Ouji, “…really…paying attention…” He let his head drop in apology, quietly chiding his tendencies to get caught up in his surroundings. /Darn you Dad…darn you and your…your…/ he furrowed his brow.

“I-it’s okay, Gohan-san. I was a little…distracted…myself…” Bowing slightly out of respect for his past sensei, Trunks released a held breath. “So…” he raised a hand to his head, unaware of his appropriation of the Son ‘gesture of embarrassment’, “…what brings you…” he looked around, letting the hand fall, “…here…?” Where was here, anyway..?

Gohan’s eyes widened at the prospect of telling the secret of his contemplation to the person he’d been secretly contemplating. “I…uhm…was just…” inspiration struck, “finishing up some studying–nocturnal creatures in their natural habitat. You know.” And a well-practiced shrug closed the deal, forever marking him.

Son Gohan: lousy liar, extraordinaire….!

Trunks smirked. “You mean like bats and things…?”

Gohan nodded. “Hai.”

Trunks squinted, surveying the area. “All the way up here…? Sugei. I had no idea they could climb this high…”

Gohan swallowed, his blush washed out by the pale cerulean cast of the falsie satellite. “Yeah…well…” He looked up to his companion, “What are you doing out here? Shouldn’t you be…” he choked. He couldn’t think of anything else the elder demi should have been doing.

But he did his best to remain cool.

“…sleeping…or something…” He closed his eyes in humility. /Of all the nights…/

Trunks placed the hand behind his head again, somewhat eased by the fact his fellow demi wasn’t scrutinizing him…well, visually, anyway… “I was just…” What could he tell the boy that wouldn’t frighten him…?

/Darn it all!/ He hated lying! Hated it! He had to tell Trunks something though…but…what…?

The truth.

They straightened, looking each other in the eye with a heavy sigh before speaking.

In unison.

The tangle of words pulled the crimson to their cheeks, mutually dusting each Saiyan façade a pale scarlet.

“Go–”

“–men…”

They were silent, listening for the inevitable interlude of that sole cricket that seemed to mark all awkward meetings.

Adjusting his satchel, Gohan swallowed.

Running a hand through his hair, Trunks fidgeted.

“Trunks…”

“Gohan-san…”

Maybe it was instinct. Maybe it was kismet. Maybe it was a really strong wind…but whatever it was that brought them to their embrace, made sure they stayed that way until the night had passed.

Turning a bleary eye toward the slinking curls of dawn, the amethyst Ouji gave his young complement a slight squeeze, rousing the boy from the last dregs of the half doze they shared in each other’s arms.

Pulling back far enough to wrench the sleep from his eyes, Gohan watched with utter amazement as the sun crept closer to the sky. “Na…ni…” Kami-sama…had it been that long…? He turned a hesitant look to his taller half, fear and indecision knitting his brow.

Yawning, the pastel painted prince gave his raven cohort a sad smile. “Your mother’s going to be worried.”

Gohan lowered his eyes. “Yeah…”

Trunks fleetingly considered the landscape. “You gotta go.”

The chibi sighed. “I know…”

He chuckled. “If it were your father you had to go home to, he might have come after me if you went back smelling like you do.” /Thank the moon for small favors, ne…?/

The Son sniffed. Yup. Definitely smelled like Trunks. Might be a good thing his mother isn’t part Saiyan as well.

Though that theory has yet to be proven…

Releasing the hold he had on the boy, the displaced Briefs ran a weary hand over his face. “Yeah…well…” what was he supposed to say? He’d gone out last night to run away…and from the looks of it, so had the kid. /Do you want me to leave, Gohan? Just say the words and I’ll be–/

“Stay with me…”

Trunks shook his head. What was that…?

Gohan shifted his bag, eyes never leaving the pale blue orbs before him. “Stay with me, Trunks-san. I…” He what? “I…think…” he lowered his voice, eyes snapping once more toward the ground, “I think I…love you…”

He said it.

He said it out loud.

He sighed.

He felt better–a lot better.

The youngest Ouji moved forward, dropping down to eye level with the younger demi. “Gohan-san…?” /Curse you, kid, for always knowing what I’m thinking…/

The Son stared up at him, blinking the brightening sunlight from his vision. “I…I love you, Trunks-san. Please don’t…go…” he re-thought his plea, “…or if you do leave…don’t go…alone….” Better. That’s what he meant.

Trunks couldn’t stop the twitch of the smile as it tried to invade the line of his thin lips. Did the boy just…say what he thought he’d just said…?

Opening his arms, Gohan wrapped them securely around his fellow demi’s neck. “If you need to leave, don’t go alone…”

A gentle kiss to the prince’s pallid cheek, held that one second too long…

“If you need to go…take me with you…”

The dislodged youth smiled, returning his young cohorts hold maybe there was a real god in heaven, after all…

“Hai, chibi. If you want to, then we can go, together.”

Gohan smiled into the crook of his prince’s neck. “Hai.” See? That wasn’t so hard. He drew back, planting a light kiss on the smiling lips of his elder companion. “Together, Trunks-san.”

Trunks chuckled. “‘-kun’, chibi. ‘-san’ makes me feel…old….”

Gohan arched a brow. “But you are old–older, I mean…” he bit his lip in thought, “aren’t you…?”

Trunks smirked. “Actually, chibi, I’m technically only nine months old…”

Could things get any more confusing…?

The darker demi-Saiyan smiled. “Well, I guess that makes us both chibis, then, ne…chibi…?”

The Ouji shrugged. “Whatever makes you happy, kid.”

Gohan shook his head, shifting free from the other’s grip. “Sure, kid,” he tousled the pale purple strands that marred the Mirai’s true heritage, “whatever makes you happy.”

The pallid prince twined his fingers through the young Son’s. “You make me happy, Gohan.”

He blushed, attempting to toe the air beneath his feet. “You make me happy, too, Trunks-sa…kun…”

He took a contented breath, releasing it as they resumed their forgotten flight from the night before, hand in hand. Trunks turned an affectionate eye toward his small attendant, cordially refusing the invitation to hide his growing smile. He’d still have to go home in another month or so, but at least he’d have some company–and it wasn’t like he didn’t think about coming back. After all, he has family here, friends.

And so does his love.

They had family and friends.

They would come back.

They would visit this time again.

/Together./