Welcome to DBZ Saiyan Garden

Sometimes, I wish you had said something…but then, in all honesty, I would have thought you to be joining sides with the enemy…

I found the letter, Trunks…but I…

I feel like answering a letter with a letter is akin to…throwing mashed potatoes at a wall: messy, lumpy, something no one wants to clean up…

I just…

I…

I love you, Trunks. You.

But I love my family, too…

I hate being indecisive… I hope Goten has a better head on his shoulders than I do….Dende knows we don’t need another me in that house…

I found the letter, Trunks. I know what you wanted to say – what you thought and kept inside because…well…you know your reasons. Sometimes I wish I knew my own. And then…I wish I didn’t. Neither of us had it easy – and I’m not trying to compare me to you, or dwell on what’s passed away. I’m not as foolish as some would like to think.

At least, I don’t think so…

You know, when I asked you to move in, I had only the best intentions in mind. When I asked Okaasan for permission, like the proper little gentleman I’ll always be, she was more than enthusiastic, going on and on about how nice of a young man you were, and how she approved of my friends, and that she thought it’d be great to have a full house…

And Otousan? Another person to spar with! Heck yeah…!

Too bad they sang a different song after the first couple of weeks…

I feel like I tricked you. I told you all the things you wanted to hear to get you by my side, and then I…I can’t believe I left myself so open. Piccolo always warned me I was too soft, too concerned with others to understand the concept of self-preservation.

Hm. Wonder if I’d be different if I got fewer hugs as a chibi.

And then, when I think about it…I really wasn’t fair, was I? I coaxed you to travel with me, to be mine and mine alone for that wonderful week…and then, every time you wanted to go… I made you stay.

I hate myself for that.

And I always will, too.

Son Gohan! The ‘Great Seducer’!

Yeah…so that’s how I won all the battles I fought in. My secret life has been exposed.

No, that was a lie. You know it. Gomen nasai, Trunks. I don’t know where I am right now…

But I do. I’m in bed, beside you. I’m glad you’ve had the chance to adjust, to finally get some sleep like you’ve always needed.

I’ve got your back, lover. And I promise I always will.

I found the letter, Ouji-chan. There’s a part of me that was furious that you would think such things and never speak them. You’re still your father’s son at times.

…But then, there’s that part of me that actually did listen when you told me what you thought…but I was blinded by my…responsibilities. I had bills to pay, people to watch, things to fix…I couldn’t just cut them away and leave…

I’m sure that’s a lie, too. I think I may have been grasping for straws subconsciously…looking for things to feel wanted, to feel important, to feel lo..loved…

Part of that is true, you know. But that really doesn’t matter anymore. I’m here with you, ne? Isn’t that what you wanted? What we wanted…?

And I…

I found the letter, Trunks. I found it while you were out four days ago, but I didn’t have the gall to tell you. And I can’t believe you kept it…! You always told me to look to the future, enjoy the sunrise, watch the trees, play in the clouds…you always told me to do the things I did anyway, but I think it made you feel better – having something to say, sharing your wisdom with some one…

You always told me you loved me because I’m everything you wish you could have been…

Dende…I am not going to cry again.

I guess I was surprised to see you so desperate to leave – you seemed so…passionate about coming to me, that I guess I just…I don’t know…

But that’s no surprise, ne?

If you had told me you were leaving in four days time…I would have gone with you.

Just like I did.

And I still love my family – although it’s from a comfortable distance…oh, I don’t know…about fifteen years into the future…

Hm. I know. I’m just as bi-polar as my father.

But forget it. I never wrote this. It’s not a frigid day in the middle of January. It’s not almost quarter after four in the morning. I’m not sitting here, in bed beside your snoring figure writing an apology you’ll never read for something I never wanted to admit or see…

Well…I guess I am beside you in bed. And you really are snoring. But I…

I…

I love you, koibito…

I found the letter, Trunks. But it really doesn’t matter now, does it. We’re still here, ne…? And I promise – honest to Dende – we’ll never go through that again.

Aishiteru, Briefs Trunks.

Yours forever,

Gohan.