Welcome to DBZ Love Garden

His arms crossed, Vegeta hovered several hundred feet above the pink and red carnival tents and stared down at the crowd below him. No one looked up, but even if they had, his blue fighting suit matched the darkening sky. He looked at the tacky timepiece in the center of the carnival, a black and white sundial large enough to land an aircar, and read the digital display in the center. Ten to eight.

"Brats better hurry up," he muttered to himself.

A strong ki force flew up behind him, but he didn't turn around. "Namek."

"Vegeta." Piccolo stopped a few feet away and looked down at the same spot. "What are you doing here?"

"The woman is experimenting on Kakarrotto and Gohan, so I have to see the brats home." Vegeta glanced sideways at the green man. "And you?"

"Gohan asked me to make sure Goten came home."

Vegeta smirked and raised an eyebrow. "Aw, you're so cute domesticated. Does he make you wear a leash when you two--?"

"Don't push it, Saiyan." Piccolo turned as if looking at the setting sun, the rose light hiding his blush.

Beneath them, the already dense crowd grew even larger, concentrating on the yellow tent in front of the sundial. From the fighters' vantage point, they could see people pressing closer to the tent as "ooh"s and "aah"s drowned out the tin carnival music playing on the speakers. A siren went off inside, flashing red and blue lights, and the crowd cheered.

"What the hell?" Piccolo said.

A moment later the crowd parted down the middle and two teenagers walked through, each holding a stuffed animal larger than themselves. The one with black hair skipped ahead, clinging to his huge yellow ducky, and stopped at the hot dog stand. The other ran after him and together they cleaned the vendor out of every last hot dog in the stand.

"They eat as much as Goku does," Piccolo said, his eyes wide.

"Of course. They're sixteen."

"Goten's only fifteen."

"They're both at a growth spurt." Vegeta shrugged and stared at the giant zebra his son held. "Trunks," he said. "Time to go. Get up here."

Halfway through his hot dog, Trunks stopped and looked up at the sky. He narrowed his eyes, searching the skyline until he spotted first Piccolo, then Vegeta. He grinned and waved once before turning back to Goten. A moment later, they both zoomed up into the air.

"Hey dad," Trunks said, maneuvering his zebra onto his back. "Where's mom?"

"Experimenting on Kakarrotto and Gohan. Are you finished?"

Goten nodded and squeezed his ducky. "Yeah, I don't think we could carry much more."

"Or eat more," Trunks said. "I'm stuffed."

"Speak for yourself," Goten said. "I could eat a lot more cotton candy."

"You can't be serious," Trunks said. "You ate like fifteen."

Vegeta shuddered and turned towards Capsule Corps. "If you two are done, try to keep up."

When he wasn't looking anymore, Goten stuck his tongue out at him. No one saw it, though, since Trunks flew beside Vegeta and Piccolo assumed he was behind him. He sighed and followed after them, catching up enough to grab his friend's hand and squeeze once.

"Wow," he said, looking down. "The city sure lights up at night."

"Yeah, I guess they do," Trunks said. "I didn't notice them much before. How do people get to sleep at night?"

"Hey, look," Goten pointed at one green and orange sign. "The new Saiyaman movie's coming out in a month."

Piccolo grumbled something, and Vegeta glanced at the Namek. "What's the matter? Don't you love the great Saiyaman, righter of wrongs and paragon of virtue?"

Piccolo shook his head with another grumble. "I still don't understand why the boy wears that costume and acts like that."

"Isn't it obvious?" Vegeta motioned at the demi-Saiyans. "These two get to act however they want, but Gohan's been under his mother's thumb for so long he actually thinks he's a human."

"He knows he's not human," Piccolo said.

"Intellectually, yes, but when does he ever act like even half a Saiyan? His mother has him so tamed he has to pretend he's someone else to even begin to use his Saiyan abilities."

Goten let go of Trunks' hand and shifted his duck plush to his other side so he could see his friend's father. "But what about me? I don't act like I'm full human."

Piccolo smirked. "Of course not. You and Trunks act like nightmares."

"Hey!" they both yelled.

"It's true," Vegeta said. "You two piss off everyone with your pranks."

Trunks smirked and turned around so that he was flying on his back. "Yeah, but it's fun. It's a shame we can't pick on Gohan while he's in that dumb costume."

"We could be his super villains," Goten said as he laughed.

Vegeta and Piccolo stopped flying and hovered in the air. They exchanged a look, the same thought running through their heads, and then both of them smirked.

When he saw their faces, Trunks stopped and looked at them. "Uh oh. What're you two planning?"

"It's not a bad idea," Vegeta said. "We could force that brat to act in accordance with his instincts."

"And get him out of his mother's programming," Piccolo said. "I don't think he could handle the both of us."

"Three of us!" Goten said nearly squeezing his ducky in half. "If you two are gonna have fun, I want in."

Vegeta looked at his son. "Well, brat. You interested?"

"We're not gonna dress up in costumes, are we?" he asked.

Piccolo nodded. "We're too recognizable otherwise. We'll need masks at the least." He glanced sideways at Vegeta's hair. "And maybe more turbans."

The Saiyan prince glared. "No turbans."

Trunks smirk grew to match his father's. "Fine, but I pick my own costume."

Vegeta looked towards Capsule Corps to make sure no one was coming to see why they weren't back yet. "This is going to take some coordination. We'd better start planning."

"The video game room's always free," Trunks said. "No one'll bother us there."

All of them nodded in agreement, and the small group flew back to Capsule Corps, their ki sparking in little bursts around their flight auras in anticipation.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Four days later, Gohan whistled as he changed on top of the school roof. He reached down to his wrist to tap his special watch but remembered that the bank robbers the day before had shot it out. He'd have to do this the old way. Still, that was no hardship. Classes were done, his father was training with Vegeta and the boys, and Bulma didn't need him for any more tests for the rest of the week. He dug his helmet out of his bag and held it up, wiping the visor clear.

"It's the perfect time for a little..." he put on his helmet and struck a pose, one hand in the air and one against his chest as he knelt. "Saiya-action!"

Once all of his buttons were done right and the visor re-adjusted, he looked into his bag and the suit neatly tucked with the tie on top. The ironing press hadn't even come out. He knelt and stared at the clothes, his class books visible along the edge. He lay his hand on the shirt, pushing down the brown tie and running his fingers along the starched cloth and the high school badge, then pulled back and shut the capsule bag, stuffing it in a pocket and shoving that part of his life out of his mind.

He went to the ledge and looked down. Students milled around in groups, some running out the front doors and others curled up on the grass writing in notebooks.

"Hey, look!"

Gohan glanced to his right and spotted a bunch of girls pointing at him and waving. He waved back, and one of them fainted. Not sure if he should be flattered or concerned, Gohan dived off the roof and flew over the campus, gradually rising as he flew through the city. Half a minute later, he passed construction workers on the top rails of a new skyscraper.

Sunlight warmed the top of his costume, so he turned on to his back and flew upside down awhile. People in the glass buildings around him rushed to their windows to see. He waved and looked back down. No crime, no disasters, just a nice breeze and some curious onlookers.

Well, it is kind of nice, he thought. But it's also pretty boring. I wish something interesting would happen.

"Terror Twins, Attack!"

Without giving him any time to look, two bodies slammed into his stomach at once, sending him several stories down before he caught himself and stared up. His eyes widened.

"What the hell?"

In front him was his little brother, he was sure of it, but Goten wore a purple gi with a black slash, black boots and gloves, and a black mask around his eyes. Floating beside him, Trunks had a black gi with purple boots, gloves and mask, along with his usual Capsule Corps jacket with the label covered. Both of them grinned and raised their hands, ready to fire ki blasts.

"We're the Terror Twins," Trunks yelled, making sure all the people now pressed to their office windows could hear. "And we're gonna kick your ass!"

Gohan's jaw dropped. "What the heck are you two doing?"

"What's the matter?" Goten smiled, his face a total contrast to his voice. "Afraid of getting your ass handed to you?"

"Are you nuts?" Gohan put his hands on his hips. "Do your mothers know where you are?"

That wiped the grins off the Terror Twins' faces.

"They don't, do they? Maybe I should make a phone call. I bet they'd really like to know their little boys are playing 'super villains and--yow!" He dodged to his left as a ki blast sailed past him and left a burnt streak on his sleeve. "Hey!"

Trunks lowered his hand and glared, looking exactly like his father. "Don't call us little."

"Like you can talk," Goten said, sticking out his tongue. "You're a real mama's boy anyway."

Gohan's hands clenched into fists. "I think you've been hanging out with your friend a little too much."

"Enough talk," Trunks said. "Terror Twins charge!"

Moving as one, they charged towards him, fists back ready to punch. Gohan flew backwards as fast as he could and moved up as the last second, flying over their heads and smacking his hands in the middle of their backs, shoving them down several feet. Goten and Trunks turned and fired up, nailing Gohan's chest, then flew up again and buzzed around him.

That wasn't as bad as it could have been, Gohan thought. His shirt wasn't even burned. He heard their laughter, and he smiled. They're really just playing. He launched a ki blast up at them and they dodged, cackling like real villains.

"Is that the best you can do?" Trunks demanded, shaking his fist. "I heard that the Great Saiyaman would give me--er, us a real challenge."

Goten did a loop-de-loop. "If this is worst we have to fear, taking over the world will be a snap."

Spreading his arms out and waving them around, Gohan struck a pose and tried to keep from smiling. "Not so! Evil such as yours will never triumph. I, the Great Saiyaman, will stop you!"

Half a mile away on a sky scraper, Piccolo and Vegeta watched the battle unfold. Neither looked at each other.

"What was the point of letting those two go first?" Piccolo asked.

"They'll loosen him up so he isn't so damned fixated on acting perfect." Vegeta smirked and clenched a black gloved fist. "And then we go in for the kill."

"You know if we hurt him, Chichi'll have our hides."

"Mm. He'll heal. He's Saiyan."

"Half-Saiyan."

"Fine, we'll just goad him into acting like a Saiyan and hope he doesn't fry our asses off. You like that better? Maybe you like it--"

Piccolo twitched. "Watch it, Saiyan."

The wind whipped around them for a moment, nearly blowing off Piccolo's black turban. It only ruffled Vegeta's cloak. "On the other hand, we may not get any reaction at all."

"You thought about that too?" Piccolo grumbled low in his throat. "I wonder if this is all for nothing."

"Well, let's go find out."

"I'm not saying it."

Already floating in the air, Vegeta turned and glowered at him. "What do you mean? We agreed on this."

"It's stupid."

"You came up with it!" He narrowed his eyes, already hard to see through the hood on his cape. "If you don't, I'll tell the brats to tell Chichi this was your idea."

Piccolo's growling grew louder, but he nodded one. "Fine. Bastard."

Vegeta's smirk only grew.

Side by side, they flew towards the three fighters still shooting small bolts at each other. Vegeta raised his hands together and launched a massive bolt at Gohan, who turned just as he fired. The mighty Saiyaman shrieked and raised his arms in an x-block, stopping the blast and then redirecting it towards the sky, where it exploded like a yellow firework.

"What the hell?" Gohan gasped.

"We are the Torture Twins," Piccolo said in a deep voice, flinging his white cape over one shoulder and pushing up his turban.

Gohan, the brats, and everyone in the windows stared at him, their jaws dropping at once. Even Vegeta flew a few feet away. Apparently Piccolo had misunderstood the definition of torture Vegeta and Trucks had been aiming for. Whereas the other three villains dressed in masks or dark hoods, his mask was a shiny latex that covered his entire face except his eyes and mouth, which had an open zipper on the corner. With black thigh high boots, strappy leather bands around his chest and a tiny black thong, a nasty looking whip coiled on his hip completed the outfit. "Prepare to--what?" His voice trailed off when he realized even Trunks and Goten looked startled. "What?" He bent forward a little to see if he'd done a strap up wrong.

Everyone in the Namco Bank on the fifty-ninth floor suddenly had the best view ever of a Namekian ass.

Vegeta glared at his son, who glared back. "Brat! You said you were going to tell him how to dress."

"He said he didn't need any saiyan's help and he kept saying he expected you to show up in some pink shirt." He tilted his head. "What did he mean?"

Vegeta turned and threw a ki bolt at Piccolo, who ducked too slow and found his antennae tips singed. "Bastard!" He floated back several more feet away and raised the edge of his cloak over his already masked face. "Now I'm really glad no one can see who we are. This is humiliating."

"More than a pink shirt and yellow pants?" Piccolo growled.

Still hovering in the sky, Gohan stared at the green dominatrix before him and tilted his head to the right. "Wow," he whispered. "Nice whip."

A flock of pigeons flew between them, breaking them out of their collective shock. Trunks and Goten began to power up, and Vegeta flipped his cloak over one shoulder, revealing his black spandex and usual white boots.

"Fuck the names and the stupid costume," Vegeta said to himself. In a loud voice, he pointed dramatically at Gohan. "Saiyaman! Defend yourself or be destroyed!"

When he saw Vegeta power up, Gohan raised his own ki and backed to one side so he wasn't surrounded. "I had no idea things were so boring now," Gohan said so only they could hear. "Grown men playing in costumes?"

"Like you can talk," Trunks said. "Running around and making stupid poses."

"Hey!"

Vegeta nodded. "And either the woman designed your costume or you've got just as bad taste as she does."

"I guess you'd know," Gohan said, crossing his arms.

Trunks nudged Goten. "Remember, when this is done, we gotta go back to my place and see if there're any pictures of what they're talking about."

A ki blast rocketed towards Gohan, who deflected it upward. Yellow and white light exploded in the air above them. The Terror Twins rammed Saiyaman, Trunks aiming for his chest while Goten nailed his legs. Gohan grunted as their impact forced down and to the left, heading towards rush hour traffic. Below them, cars honked and tried to drive out of their path.

Turning golden, Gohan stopped in midair, all three of them hovering a few inches from the top of a school bus. He looked over his shoulder at the crowd gathering and tried to glare through his helmet at the two demi-Saiyans. "Dammit, you two, this has got to stop. We nearly hurt these kids."

The pair looked at each other, still holding Gohan down while they spoke.

"He's right," Goten said. "Maybe we should take this someplace else."

"If he's so worried," Trunks said, shaking his head, "then he should act like a superhero and stop us."

A flicker of light caught Gohan's attention, and he looked up between the Terror Twins at a ki blast coming straight down towards them. His eyes widened and he powered up another level, flinging Trunks and Goten into opposite brick walls and rising to meet the blast head on with an x block. It dissipated easily but his heart still pounded in his ears and the adrenaline surge made him feel cold and sick.

"You idiot," he heard Vegeta yell, "we're trying to make him act wild, not drive him into a murdering rage!"

"It hardly singed his stupid outfit, shorty." Piccolo still held his hand out, palm up, towards Gohan, as if getting ready for another burst.

"Fool! Your mask's on too tight. Can't you feel his ki going up--?" Vegeta looked at Gohan, whose whole body glowed bright yellow under his suit. The younger Saiyan's face twisted into a snarl. "Uh oh."

The crowd gathering on the street began to chant "Saiyaman, Saiyaman" over and over, pumping their fists in the air and shouting encouragement.

"Go get 'em Saiyaman!"

"Rip their heads off. You can do it!"

"Pull 'em apart like flies. Show 'em not to mess with you!"

Embedded three stories up in the brick walls of two opposite buildings, Trunks and Goten lowered their ki and silently stared at Gohan's increasing power. His growling worried both of them, and they glanced at each other long enough to nod their heads once and slip around the buildings and disappear.

To the crowd, Saiyaman seemed to vanish from sight. They all gasped and looked at each other, but a moment later the children in the school bus all pointed up. "Look, up in the sky!"

"It's Saiyaman," the crowd screamed. Several women fainted.

Piccolo backed away when Gohan appeared in front of him, glowing brighter as his power level kept going. "Gohan, wait, I didn't hurt anyone!"

"He's beyond hearing," Vegeta tried to tell him, but his voice faded in Gohan's yell.

"Trunks is right," he said, baring his teeth and flipping his cape back over his shoulder. "I'm gonna end this fight right now."

Glancing between Piccolo and Gohan, Vegeta came to a decision and dropped his ki just a little. He backed quietly from the fight until he could slip behind a skyscraper and fly out towards the city limits. Halfway there, Trunks and Goten came up and flew alongside him.

"Hey, Dad," Trunks said. "Isn't this running away from a fight? I thought we weren't supposed to do this."

Vegeta yanked his mask off and blinked a few times, a smirk slowly creeping over his face. "Brat, there's a difference between running and setting someone up. We've just done the latter, and it wouldn't work as well if we were still around. Besides, Gohan got angry. That's all we were after, remember?"

"Oh yeah."

"But who'd we set up?" Goten asked.

Coming from Satan City, Piccolo's voice carried all the way to their sensitive ears. "Now hang on, I can explain...no--aaah!"

Hovering in the sky, they turned and watched the lightshow. A blast of ki sent smoke into the air and they spotted a green dot sailing up over the city, leaving a gray trail behind it. Another dot, green and orange, flew up after it, firing another yellow burst.

"Maybe we should go back and help him," Goten said.

"Gohan won't hurt him bad," Vegeta said. "And it serves him right."

"Yeah, his costume was scary," Trunks said.

"Can we do this again?" Goten asked. "This was fun."

Vegeta's laugh would have sent a shiver down anyone spines except Trunks, who truly was his father's son in more ways than one, and Goten, who'd spent more time with Vegeta than his own father.

"Of course, brats. Don't your comic books always have the same villains in every issue?"

"Yeah, but still..." Trunks said, crossing his arms. "I don't think Piccolo'll help us anymore."

"Who cares? We don't need him." Vegeta turned and led them back towards Capsule Corps again. "Tomorrow we'll whip Gohan into a furor again, and every day after that, until he isn't so damn human anymore."

Evil laughter ran through the sky as the three flew away from Satan City and the small blasts of ki coming from the pissed demi-Saiyan.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Birds twittered in their nests and bees buzzed flower to flower, ignoring Goku as he sat cross-legged in the middle of a grassy clearing. He breathed deep and grinned, letting his shoulders drop, and listened to the creek babbling beside him. He still didn't know why Vegeta and the boys hadn't wanted to train, but maybe the ki spikes in Satan City were the reason.

"I hope Gohan had fun training with them," he sighed. "Still, I did miss 'Geta..."

A breeze blew over his face, bringing with it morning glories, forget-me-nots and...his nose crinkled. Scorched Namek?

"Hey, dad!"

Goku opened his eyes and waved as Gohan, dressed in his Saiyaman outfit, flew closer and landed in front of him, carrying Piccolo in his arms. "Hi Gohan. Wow, what's he wearing?"

"I have no idea," Gohan said. "It's just a bunch of leather straps and stuff."

"Oh, there are straps?" Goku leaned over and looked. "I hardly see any."

"Um, there were more," Gohan said, "but I kinda burned 'em away."

Blushing bright pink, Goku waved his hands and squinched his eyes shut. "Whoa, too much information there."

Gohan turned the same color as his father. "No, not like that." Not this time anyway, he thought. He lay Piccolo on the grass and knelt next to him. "It was a fight. Well, it was kinda like a fight. I got a little too angry and knocked him out."

"How'd he get you angry?" Goku asked.

"He fired at me when I was over a school bus."

"He what?" Goku's eyes widened and he stared at the green fighter. "He tried to kill you and a bunch of kids?"

Gohan shook his head. "Not really. The blast was pretty weak, but Trunks and Goten were holding me down at the time, and then I didn't know what Vegeta was planning and the crowd was cheering me on and...I guess I kind of over overreacted."

"They picked a fight with you in the city?" Goku frowned. "They know better than that. I thought Vegeta wouldn't ever do that again."

"It wasn't like that," his son said. "They weren't trying to hurt anyone. It was weird. They were all dressed up and talking like super villains."

"Like Majin Buu?" Goku's jaw dropped and he grabbed Piccolo's head, turning him one way or the other. "Are they possessed? I don't see any M symbols..."

"No, dad. Like the bad guys in the comics Trunks and Goten read."

Goku dropped Piccolo's head with a thud on the dirt. "Oh, I know those. Goten lets me read them sometimes."

"Uh, right. Anyway, I think they're gonna try it again sometime soon. I know the terrible duo will, and I'm sure they'll talk Vegeta into it. Or maybe it'll be the other way around. Either way, I'll need your help."

"Sure, son. You know you can count on me."

A groan signaled that Piccolo was half awake, and they both peered at him. When Piccolo opened his eyes, he blinked, wondering what the two blurry shapes were, then froze and held his breath when he saw Gohan staring at him.

"Wait, I can explain," he said, but Gohan covered his mouth with his hand.

"I know you can," Gohan said, smiling so much it made Piccolo nervous. "But first you have to tell me something."

"Um...yeah?"

"Will you give up your evil ways and join the forces of good?" Gohan felt proud that he'd said that without laughing. "Or will you persist in your dastardly deeds of darkness?"

Smirking, Piccolo titled his head so he could see Gohan out of the corner of his eye. "What happens if I don't?"

Gohan took the whip at the Namek's side. "Then we get your explanation...and you get whipped."

"And if I do?"

"Then you give us your explanation...and you get whipped later on."

Goku groaned and looked away.

"Well, if you put it that way," Piccolo grinned, "how can I say no?"

~*~*~*~*~*~

On Capsule Corps' roof, the three super villains changed their clothes, shivering slightly in the cold morning air.

"You told them we were sick?" Goten asked, adjusting his mask. "But won't they call my mom to make sure?"

Trunks shook his head as he placed his own mask over his face. "Nah, papa calls me out all the time and they never call mom. The school knows better now."

"Knows better?" Goten pulled on his gloves and watched Trunks finish his costume. "What do you mean?"

"He had a talk with the principal," Trunks said. "I don't know what happened exactly, but they found him crying under his desk later. No one calls after me now."

Finished with his own costume, Vegeta smirked as he pulled the cloak over his head. "I remember that. Been awhile since I had that much fun. Ready, brats?"

Goten grinned. "I'm ready."

"Yeah," Trunks said. "Let's go piss off Saiyaman."

As one, they rose into the air and shot off towards Satan City. When they arrived at the city limits, they flew low through the streets, buzzing cars and buses for a few minutes before strafing the Satan City mall parking lot and scaring hundreds of pigeons into mass crapping on the cars.

"Hey, look," Goten said, pointing at the mall entrance. "It's Mr. Satan!"

Trunks and Vegeta both looked at the doors where Earth's champion stood, frozen as he saw the three hovering in the air. Mr. Satan's eyes widened and his jaw dropped, his hands twitching. Floating closer, the three super villains all grinned and stretched their hands out.

"Save us, Mr. Satan," a fat lady with thick blue eye shadow and lipstick wailed. "Save us."

"You can do it," said a ten year old boy through a mouthful of gum. "You're our Champion."

"Uh..." His Afro twitched as he looked left and right, but shoppers surrounded him, gathering around the one to save them. No place he could escape. With a deep breath, Mr. Satan set his hands on the huge gold buckle on his belt and took a step forward. "Listen up, you! We don't want any trouble. Leave now, or you'll have to suffer the consequences."

"Ooh, I'm so scared," Goten said, sticking his tongue out. "Big bad man gonna hurt me?"

"He can't even fly," Trunks said. "I wonder if he can dance." He raised his finger and zapped out short bursts like bullets into the ground at Mr. Satan's feet, making the giant man jump up and down.

The crowd collectively screamed and scattered, sprinting to their cars and leaving their hero behind.

"I'm serious," Mr. Satan said, still dodging Trunks' ki. "You'd better stop now before I'm forced to hurt you."

Vegeta added his own ki blasts. "Or else what? You can't fly, can you? How can you possibly imagine hurting us?"

"With a bazooka!"

At the unexpected voice, everyone turned and saw Videl standing in her air car seat, a bazooka larger than herself on her shoulder. She flipped a red switch on the side, aimed at the Vegeta, and fired. As smoke poured into her air car, the missile streaked towards the Saiyan, who lowered his head so his face disappeared in shadow and extended his hand. Trunks and Goten rose higher into the sky as the missile exploded, sending flames and smoke in a broad circle.

"You okay, dad?" Videl waved the smoke out of her car and sat back down, intent on the pair she'd missed.

"Doing great," Mr. Satan said, grinning and putting his fists on his hips. "You seem to be handling this so I'll let you take care of the other two."

Before Videl could close her car again, though, they both heard low laughter coming from the remnants of the blast. The flames cleared and revealed Vegeta, wisps of smoke sliding around his unscathed cloak. He lowered his hand and laughed a little louder.

"Nice try," he said. "I am impressed. At least one of you weak humans had the balls to attack. Figures it'd be a little girl."

"What?" she yelled. "Who're you calling little?"

A pulse of ki a mile away caught his attention and he looked towards the skyscrapers. "Ah, it looks like Saiyaman's found an excuse to get out of school. Let's see if he's already pissed off." He flew across the parking lot, leaving Videl squawking in her car, and passed Mr. Satan as the champion stared at his crapped upon luxury car, the red convertible covered in bird excrement. Vegeta grinned and sent a huge burst down on the engine, charring the car and singeing Mr. Satan's afro.

"Hey, dad!" Trunks dropped down to his father's level. "Something's weird. I felt more than one ki up there, but then the power level suddenly went down again."

"He's probably planning something to stop the fight quickly," Vegeta said. "Whatever it is, we can't let it work. He has to learn that he's not a human, he's a Saiyan."

"And Saiyans aren't momma's boys," Trunks said.

"Exactly."

"Are you two coming?" Goten shouted several yards above them. "Or am I gonna have to take care of him on my own?"

"On our way," Trunks said.

"Hey, get back here!" Videl flew her car towards them, still fighting to clear the smoke out of her sight. "I'm not done with you yet."

"Well," Vegeta said. "She certainly walks around a big pair, doesn't she?"

"She's got more guts than Krillin or Yamcha, and they're stronger." Trunks fired a short blast at her engines, sending the car spiraling down. Videl jumped and landed safely on the pavement, but her car landed on Mr. Satan's convertible, squashing it flat. The Champion of the Earth sank to his knees and bawled.

"Let's go already!" Goten turned and flew towards his brother, soon flanked by his fellow villains. "Do you feel that?"

"He's not alone," Vegeta said. "His spirit's stronger this time and it's eclipsing the Namek's."

"Piccolo?" Goten squinted at the approaching golden dots and nodded. "Yup, it's him."

Between the two highest skyscrapers, Vegeta pulled slightly ahead of the teens and stopped, letting them float on either side. Gohan and Piccolo stopped several yards away, powered up to match their adversaries. The Saiyan prince tilted his head when he saw them. "Got a costume change? Did you dress out of your closet or his?"

No longer in bondage gear but rather a green and orange suit like Gohan's, Piccolo's costume matched his usual pointy shoulder wear. He growled and curled his hands into fists. "You son of a--"

Gohan lay his hand on his friend's shoulder. "Calm down. He's just trying to rile us."

"Looks like it's working," Goten said. "I thought you were on our side."

"I've seen the error of my ways," Piccolo said. "Now I get to fight with Go--Saiyaman instead of against him."

Like his father beside him, Trunks smirked and crossed his arms. "You mean now you get to fight without getting your ass handed to you."

Piccolo purpled with rage and bared his fangs. "You rotten little--"

"He took away your whip, huh?" Goten laughed and did a little flip in the air. "I guess the great Saiyaman likes giving but not receiving."

Saiyaman turned pink under his mask. "That's not true!"

"Oh?" Vegeta asked. "You like being whipped, then? And speak up." He motioned at the people watching from the surrounding buildings. "I don't think everyone can hear you."

"That's it," Gohan said, his face twisting more and more into a snarl. "No more waiting around. Now you'll see our secret weapon and newest teammate."

"New teammate?" Trunks looked at Goten. "Since when does Saiyaman need a team?"

"Since he turned into a total wimp."

Growling, Gohan flared his ki twice, signaling Goku to transmit in close. A flicker of white blurred next to him, and then they could all see Goku clearly. Dressed in green spandex, Goku wore white underwear on the outside of his pants and a ring of huge daisy petals around his face.

For a moment, no one spoke. They heard a cough or a gasp out of the buildings, but the rustling of their cloaks and capes in the wind sounded like yells. Everyone stared with wide eyes and Goku kept his battle face on, sure that his grimace had startled them back. At first no one could tell who was snickering and they looked around, but then Vegeta lost control and doubled over. Trunks and Goten soon followed, floating on their backs with their arms around themselves. Vegeta laughed so hard he began to drift down towards the street.

"Dad, what are you wearing?" Gohan hissed.

"You said to look strong but good," Goku said, staring wide-eyed at the three. "Well, the spandex shows off my muscles, and no one would mistake a flower as bad."

Trunks gasped for breath around his laughs. "And what's your name? Sailor Daisy?"

"Maybe Superflower?" Goten said.

Slowly rising back up, Vegeta wiped a tear from his eye. "No. We'll just call him the Pansy."

Goku's jaw dropped.

"Cut it out," Gohan said, hands on his hips. "That's just mean."

"We can't help it," Trunks said between breaths.

"Y'know, Gohan, you look just like mom," Goten said. "When she gets mad."

"No, he's half-right," Vegeta said, waving down Goten. "This is a fight, not a comedy act." He caught his breath and let the snickers die down, standing straight again. He looked back at Goku, his face circled by petals, fidgeting in his briefs.

He fell backwards laughing even harder.

"That's it," Piccolo yelled. "I'm starting this right now!" He ended his words on a yell and fired a blast at Trunks.

"I'll take him," Trunks said, blocking the attack and shunting it towards the sky. "Goten, you get Gohan."

"No problem." Goten charged his sibling, firing rapid shots to back him up.

Scratching the back of his head for awhile, Goku stared at Vegeta as he slowly stopped laughing a second time. The two Saiyans stared at each other, one smiling as usual and the other smirking under his hood. Vegeta tilted his head again. "Why the hell did you choose petals?"

Goku's eyes widened and he blushed. "I remember someone saying how soft my lips are." He smiled when Vegeta glanced away. "I wish you weren't wearing that cloak or the mask...or the spandex."

"And I wish you weren't wearing that ridiculous costume." Vegeta backed up and let his power level drop. "I refuse to fight you in that stupid suit."

"Take off your cape, then." Goku ducked the ki blast aimed at his head and lost the top petals. The rest of the petals slipped off and floated down until it came between Piccolo and Trunks, whose clashing ki incinerated it. "Geez, Vegeta, I was just joking," Goku said. "Don't be so serious. I mean, it's not like any of us are fighting for real."

A bit of ki sparkled under Vegeta's hood as his eyes flashed, and Goku wondered if he'd just given the prince an idea. A moment later, a rapid fire gallit gun attack forced him up into the sky with the sun behind him. With the sun in his eyes, Vegeta squinted, trying to find Goku. Gohan and Goten battled past him, cooking pigeons that flew too close and zapping each other's hair. He felt a ki materialize behind him and he leaned forward as if about to perform a summersault, then mule-kicked Goku's jaw.

"Quit trying to transmit behind me," Vegeta said, sweeping Goku's legs out from under him, then clasping his hands together and slamming Goku's stomach. The younger Saiyan grunted as he plummeted several stories before stopping his fall. As he caught his breath, Vegeta appeared next to him and kicked him skyward.

Goku passed between Trunks and Piccolo, nearly knocking the purple-haired boy over and grazing the Namek's antennae.

"Ow!" Piccolo massaged his bruised antennae, his eyes watering as the sensitive parts throbbed. Distracted by the pain, he didn't see Trunks' next attack and caught the ki blast in his stomach, tossed down until he struck a horizontal flagpole on the side of a skyscraper. He lay folded over for a moment, letting the pain in his antennae die down, then lifted himself up again.

"What's the matter?" Trunks asked as he flew down to meet him. "That was just a love tap. I'm sure the Great Saiyaman gives you love taps all the time."

"Will you quit it with the insinuations! I'm not--"

"Oh please." Trunks crossed his arms. "Everyone knows. I don't know why you keep trying to hide it."

A purple hue colored Piccolo's cheeks. "But...I'm not..."

"It's not like there's anything to be ashamed of," Trunks said. "Maybe our high ki levels just make us that way."

Piccolo's eyes bugged. "You mean, you and Goten--"

Trunks smirked and glanced at Goten, watching him zip around Gohan's shots. The Great Saiyaman flew in close, grabbing at the evil Terror Twin, but his hands closed on empty air. Goten went over his head and delivered a swift kick to his brother's butt.

"You're getting slow," he said. "You don't train enough."

"I don't train with a former psychopath, you mean." Gohan ducked forward and caught Goten's chin with the back of his boot. "Your style's too cocky."

"And yours is weak. Why don't you ever come and train with us?" Goten stopped punching and stared at his sibling. "You're supposed to be really strong, but you never fight except in that stupid costume. How come?"

"I do a lot of good in this 'stupid costume'," Gohan snapped, firing another blast that missed. "I've saved a lot of people. I don't need to train with--" he stopped.

Goten shook his head as Gohan cut himself off. "What? Don't need to train with me or dad, or Trunks an' his dad? Is that it?"

"Goten, I didn't mean--"

"Yeah you did. You don't wanna train with us. You just wanna screw Piccolo's brains out."

"That's not fair!"

"It's true." Goten dragged his hand across his eyes, and Gohan realized his little brother was trying not to cry. "You're not there, Dad's hardly there...Vegeta and Trunks let me train with them. I don't care what you say about him. Vegeta can't be bad."

"You don't know him like everyone else," Gohan said. "Yeah, he's changed a little, but he was a real monster before."

Goten didn't say anything for a moment, the sounds of everyone else's ki blasts echoing off the buildings around them filling the silence. Gohan chewed his lower lip and wondered if he'd pissed his brother off too much.

"Then maybe I should be with the other monsters," he whispered.

Gohan blinked in surprise. "What?"

"That's what mama called me. A monster. She saw my tail and yelled that I was a monster." Goten wiped his eyes again and glared at his brother. "Vegeta doesn't call me that. Trunks is my friend. They talk to me like I'm one of them, not some little kid or monster."

"Goten...I didn't know..."

"You never tried." Goten turned his back to his brother. "Congratulations, Saiyaman. You win."

As he watched his brother fly away, Gohan felt like he'd been losing for a long time.

Pressed against the glass wall of the tallest skyscraper, Piccolo heard the frantic yells and howls from the humans inside, along with a few catcalls from the people who remembered his previous outfit. He turned his head to one side, expecting Trunks' next punch, and made a mental note to become evil again just long enough to smack the catcallers.

The punch he thought was coming didn't connect, though, and he looked back. Trunks' fist hovered inches from his face and the demi-Saiyan stared up at something Piccolo couldn't see. Piccolo pulled his own hand back, ready for a sneak attack, but Trunks backed up and lowered his hand.

"You win, uh...whatever your name is. Later!" He blurred out of sight, and when Piccolo looked around, he spotted the teen flying after Goten.

"Hm. If Trunks is gone, and Goten's gone," he looked at Gohan to make sure he was still there. He forgot about fighting when he felt his ki, already sad and spiraling down into depression. Deciding to let Goku finish off Vegeta, he flew towards Gohan and lay his hand on his shoulder. "Kid, you all right?"

Without looking at him, Gohan shook his head. "No, Piccolo. I'm not."

Piccolo reached down and grabbed his hand. "Come on, the brats took off, and Goku's handling Vegeta. Let's get out of here before the cops show."

Gohan nodded and let Piccolo lead, flying just behind him at his shoulder.

On the other side of town, Goku and Vegeta dispensed with the play fighting and threw real punches, never noticing that they'd left the main battlefield. For the twelfth time Goku tried to grab Vegeta's cloak, burning at the edges from a ki blast, but the smaller Saiyan dodged his hands and launched another blast in his face. Goku growled as he slapped the smoke from his eyes.

"This isn't fair," he said between punches. "We can't power up here, so I'm at a disadvantage."

"Whine whine whine," Vegeta said between kicks. "I fight you even though your ki's...stronger," he bit the word out. "You're just pissed I'll always be better skilled than you."

Sirens rushed after them as dozens of police cars swarmed through the streets. Cops and armed civilians fired at them, missing every shot but hitting the buildings around them.

"Vegeta, we've gotta fight somewhere else. People could get hurt if we keep this up."

"Hmph. I think I prefer you stuck at your lowest level."

Goku backed away, dodging a sudden sweep kick, and rocketed up over the city. "Then catch me!"

His smirk turning into a grin, Vegeta followed after him, hands extended and firing. Without any warning, Goku turned and dived back at him, transforming and taking the hits as he dropped. Vegeta froze for a second, startled by the move, and Goku grabbed his friend's hand before he could dodge. He put his fingers to his forehead and concentrated, hearing Vegeta's enraged yell as they transmitted from Satan City to their usual sparring grounds in the desert.

"Dammit, Kakarrot, I hate that technique!" He snapped to Super Saiyan level two and fired at Goku. "What's the matter? Can't handle a fair fight?"

"Not at all." Goku matched his level and blocked the shots. "I just wanted to take this fight to a different level."

Vegeta landed on a ledge and watched him approach. "Well, at least I know you can't beat me without resorting to Super Saiyan levels."

"Not that kind of level," Goku said with a grin. He ripped off the white underwear and then the top half of his green spandex.

As he landed, Vegeta took off again, intent on putting as much distance between them as possible. "Kakarrot, you have a sick one track mind!" Goku's ki disappeared, and he turned around to see where he'd gone. Instead he slammed back against a rock solid body. Before he could move, Goku dragged him down out of the air and slammed him into the ground.

When Vegeta opened his eyes again, he found himself face down in the hot dirt with Goku on top of him, pinning his hands down near his head. He felt Goku's warm breath on his neck and jerked underneath him, but Goku only pressed him harder. "Get off of me."

"I guess I don't have to ask if you'll stay still." He let go of Vegeta's right hand but leaned his elbow on it, holding it still while he slipped his hand under Vegeta's mask and gently tugged it off. He nuzzled his prisoner's cheek and throat, nudging the cloak out of the way.

"No, stop it," Vegeta growled, thrashing under him. "Don't you dare!"

"Uh-uh, you get to be on top too much," Goku said. He kissed the soft skin at the base of Vegeta's throat and bit into the hard muscle, releasing Vegeta's hands once he had a secure grip.

Groaning as Goku's hands roamed along his sides, Vegeta tried to push himself up only to feel the teeth in his throat tighten. Unable to move more than a few inches, he dug his fingers into the ground and squeezed his eyes shut.

A strong breeze told him all of his clothes were gone, and he heard Goku tossing their clothes aside. "Kakarrot--" He winced as Goku bit harder but kept going. "Let go. I won't run."

Goku pulled back and licked the remaining blood away. "Promise?"

"Yes. And for God's sake, sit up a little. You're too damned heavy."

"Oh, sorry." He shifted his weight off of Vegeta's back and lay beside him, keeping one arm around his shoulders just in case he broke his promise. "You look better without the mask."

"And you look better without the petals."

"Vegeta, why were you and the boys dressed like super villains? I mean, you even got Piccolo to join in."

"It was half his idea. We were just sick of Gohan acting like a weakling." He sighed as Goku's hand started rubbing his back. "We wanted to piss him off, make him remember what he is."

"In a crowded city?"

"No one got hurt." He glared at Goku. "Though it would've been faster otherwise."

"I'm glad you didn't." Goku raised Vegeta's hand to his lips and kissed his palm. "I'm glad you held yourself back. You and the kids. I'm surprised you could keep them under control."

"They know better than to screw with me."

"Still, that was kind of fun. Kinda deserves a reward."

Vegeta smiled, narrowing his eyes, and turned on his back, allowing Goku to climb over him. "Just no more biting."

"I promise."

~*~*~*~*~*~

Trunks followed Goten out of Satan City and landed next to him on the Capsule Corps roof. Neither of them spoke, but as they sat down on the edge, Trunks put his arm around his friend's shoulders and let him cry quietly. He didn't ask any questions since he wasn't sure what to ask. After a few minutes Goten stopped, but he didn't move away. The sun gradually set on the horizon, stars shimmering in the violet sky. City street lights came on as the sky scrapers began to glow. One large billboard glowed neon green and orange, advertising the next Saiyaman movie.

As the night air cooled, Trunks shrugged off his jacket and put it over Goten. "You better?"

"Yeah," he said, putting his arms around him. "Trunks?"

"Yeah?"

"You don't think I'm a monster, do you?"

"No. You're not a monster." Trunks smiled and squeezed him. "Wanna sleep out here tonight?"

"Really?" Goten looked at the cloudless sky and nodded. "That'd be great. We haven't done that in awhile."

Gently pushing Goten up, Trunks eased their bodies apart. "I'll go get a blanket. Don't go anywhere."

While Trunks disappeared over the roof, Goten lay back and stared at the stars. A moment later, he felt Trunks lay down beside him and stretch the blanket over their bodies. He snuggled closer, laying his head on his shoulder, and listened as Trunks pointed out the constellations.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Gohan flew out of Satan city for miles, ignoring how far he had traveled and how fast, not noticing that Piccolo was straining to keep up until he landed in the middle of a forest and heard his mentor breathing hard next to him. "Where are we?" he asked, looking around. "I didn't think I'd gone so far."

"You had your mind on something else," Piccolo said. "What's wrong?"

"Something Goten told me." He sat down against a tree and stared at the silver clouds racing across the stars. "Do you think I don't act right?"

"You mean playing at superhero?"

"Actually, I thought I was doing that right." Gohan lowered his head. "I guess maybe I'm not."

Piccolo sat down beside him. "What did Goten say?"

"A lot of things. That I only fight when I'm Saiyaman. That I won't train with him. That I'm never around."

"Did he mean it?"

"Yeah. He...Piccolo, he said mom called him a monster. When she saw his tail she yelled and called him a monster." He pulled his knees up to his chest and hid his face. "No wonder he spends so much time with Trunks and Vegeta. They're the only ones who'll train with him."

"Or anything else."

"It's weird. Dad' s great but he was gone for so long. Vegeta's always been here. Trunks always had his father."

"A father who beats him up."

"I think that's the only way they train. Dad really doesn't know how to train us, I think." He raised his head and leaned against his mentor's shoulder. "Maybe he's too easy on us. I mean, he demands our best, but still..."

"You mean there's no edge. You know he'll stop before he hurts you."

Gohan shook his head. "No, not that. He's satisfied with our best. I think that's why Trunks is stronger than Goten. Vegeta pushes him for more than his best. And maybe that's why Goten's stronger than I was at his age."

"You're kidding, right?" A breeze toppled his turban off his head and onto his lap.

"No, Piccolo. He's stronger. If Cell came back somehow, Goten wouldn't hesitate to fight. Hell, he'd probably enjoy it. Me?" He kicked a rock over the ledge. "I had to be pushed into it."

"You didn't enjoy the fight?"

"Of course not," Gohan said. "Everyone was counting on me, and--"

"Quit thinking like that," Piccolo said, smacking Gohan's head. "You're not the only one who's felt that pressure. Trunks and Goten knew what was at stake when they fought Buu, and they still wanted to fight."

"Piccolo--"

"No. I want a straight answer. You have to be honest, at least to yourself. Do you like fighting? Hurting someone and being hurt, feeling your heart race, knowing the next punch could be your last? Covered in your enemy's blood?"

"But that's wrong!" Gohan said, pushing away. "Fighting like that, it's wrong. Barbaric. No one should enjoy it."

"Is that you or your mother speaking?"

They stared at each other for a moment.

"I..." Gohan whispered. "I sound just like her, don't I?"

"Mm, not quite. Sounds like you're missing her backbone." He put his arm around Gohan and tugged him close. "Maybe you shouldn't be so worried about acting human and just act like yourself."

"But mom would be so angry and disappointed, and I really like teaching..."

"Don't give up teaching, then. But don't give up on the other parts of you just because of your mother. You love the fight, or else you wouldn't have become Saiyaman."

"Yeah." Gohan closed his eyes and breathed deep. "I looked forward to that everyday, when I could stop being Son Gohan, total nerd and momma's boy, and become a great superhero."

"Have you tried combining the two, so that Son Gohan, total nerd, is the great superhero?"

"No. But it's a good idea."

"Just don't get rid of the glasses."

"Huh?"

"Your glasses, keep 'em." Piccolo smirked and ran one finger down Gohan's nose. "It's fun taking them off you."

"You know, for someone who says he's asexual..." Pouncing on Piccolo, he pushed him onto the grass and held him there, leaning over him with his hands on Piccolo's shoulders. "You'd better remember who's the stronger one here."

"Physically, maybe."

"You know, I think I still have that whip."

~*~*~*~*~*~

Birds chirping and machines humming roused Vegeta, making him open his eyes and scowl at the sunlight streaming through the window. He burrowed his head under the blankets, almost disappearing under them and the Saiyan asleep next to him. After a few moments, he blinked and looked up again. Bed? Window? He sighed and sat up.

"Stupid transmission," he said, not caring if he woke Goku. He grabbed a black training suit out of his dresser and headed for the shower.

Still fast asleep, Goku turned and patted the mattress, frowning when he didn't find another warm body. He woke up alone with the covers kicked down to his ankles and the air conditioner going full blast.

Why does Bulma keep the temperature so low? he thought. He heard the shower going full blast and grinned. Knowing Vegeta, the water would be hot and the bathroom all steamy. He put his fingers to his forehead and concentrated.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Cold morning air coursed over Trunks and Goten, waking them up at once. They both sat up and winced at the bright sunlight, enough to blind them for a moment. While Goten yawned and stretched, Trunks rolled the blanket up and tucked it under his arm. "Coming? We'd better get down before anyone notices two super villains on Capsule Corps."

Goten nodded and crawled after Trunks to the edge of the roof, pitching forward and flying through Trunks' bedroom window. "I hope mom doesn't get angry that I stayed out all night," he said, sitting on the bed.

"She'll probably think you stayed over." He lay his hand on Goten's shoulder, making him look up. "I'll call and tell her we stayed up late studying and forgot to call."

"Okay. You lie better than I do."

"Got that right," Trunks said as he pushed the blanket in his linen closet filled with other rolled and stuffed blankets. "You always look guilty when you lie, and you always think up really weird excuses that no one'd believe."

"I do not. I have good excuses, it's just no one ever believes them."

"Good excuses?" Trunks sat down and pulled his hair into a ponytail. "Remember that pillow fight we had where we tore all the feathers out?"

"Yeah?"

"Remember what you told papa when he came in?"

"I said a chicken flew in and exploded." Goten stuck out his tongue. "Well, it could have happened."

"We were lucky papa just laughed and went away. If mom had found us before we cleaned up, we'd of been in deep shit."

Goten opened his mouth to say something, but his voice drowned in the sudden roar downstairs.

"Kakarrot, get out--I don't care if you're cold, you walking brick wall, get out of the way...put me down!"

"What the hell?" Goten asked.

"Sounds like the Pansy caught a Torture Twin," Trunks said, not bothering to hide his snickers.

"Ewww," Goten said, sticking out his tongue again. "There's something I don't need to imagine."

"I agree. Get changed," Trunks said. "You can't hear the shower from the kitchen."

"Woohoo, food." Goten went to the trunk on the far wall and dug through the clothes he kept over. "Remember, you gotta call my mom."

"I remember." As soon they looked like respectable demi-Saiyans, each in their own training gi, they ran down the stairs, Goten taking the banister and beating Trunks to the breakfast Mrs. Briefs and her robots had spread on the table. Trunks grabbed the phone with a plate and sat down, dialing the Son residence. "Hello, it's me, Trunks...yes, he's here. Sorry we didn't call, but we were up so late studying we fell asleep on our books...math, as usual. Goten's having trouble with simplifying radicals...okay, we'll see you later. What? Oh, yeah, I think I saw Papa and Goku sparring yesterday. I guess he didn't wanna wake you up. Okay, take care. Bye." He hung the phone up. "See, no problem."

"I am not having trouble in math," Goten said between bites. "Mom's gonna think I'm retarded if you keep saying that."

"Hey, you didn't wanna talk to her."

A few minutes later, Vegeta walked in with Goku following close behind, a bruise on his right eye slowly going down. They sat down opposite their sons and started on the other half of breakfast.

"Good to see you brats left us something," Vegeta said.

"Looks like you gave Goku something," Trunks said.

"It's worse than it looks," Goku said. "See, it's already going down."

"Hmph. That'll teach you to sneak up behind me."

"It's just instant transmission," Goku said between bites. "I thought you'd be used to it by now."

"And I thought you'd be discreet with it by now, not popping in on people at the worst moments."

"That wasn't a bad moment. I liked it."

Trunks and Goten groaned and squinched their eyes shut. "Ewww!"

"Shut up, brats."

"Oh, boys..."

They all turned around to see Bulma walk inside, her arms crossed as she did a very good imitation of Vegeta. "What's this I hear on TV about super villains attacking the Great Saiyaman?"

Three of them became fascinated with their plates. Vegeta stood up and faced her. "No one was hurt, woman, so I don't see why you should get all pissy as usual."

Goku and Goten gasped. Trunks went back to eating.

"Pissy? You're the one talking the boys into acting like bad guys! That's all the Earth needs, three of you." She jammed a finger at his chest and wished she hadn't as it started to throb. "And how the hell did you talk Piccolo into doing it? That mask of his..."

"The whole thing was partially his idea. And he's the one that came up with his stupid costume." He smirked and leaned against Goku's chair. "Although I thought for sure you'd designed that horrible thing, knowing your lack of taste."

"Oooh..." Bulma nearly slapped him but remembered how hard his skin felt. "And knowing your lack of intelligence...don't you think people are gonna make the leap that you guys are the only ones capable of fighting like that?"

"How?" he asked, his familiar smirk widening a little. "We didn't transform, no one saw our faces, we never said anything loud enough for anyone to hear--"

"Except things like 'Prepare to die, Saiyaman," Trunks said.

"--and no one would expect Kakarrot to dress up like a pansy."

Goku blushed bright red.

"Piccolo--" she tried.

"--is not at Capsule Corps nor anywhere near humans. So what is the problem again?"

Silence. Ignoring the wide-eyed looks the three at the table gave her, Bulma tapped her foot, trying to think of something. She growled something under her breath. "Damn. Well, you better get rid of any reporters that figure it out."

"There won't be any."

She turned to leave, then whirled back again, startling everyone at the table and making Vegeta back up a step. "Before I go, was that you and Trunks and Goten who humiliated Mr. Satan and his daughter?"

"Yes, and he'll probably get another visit sometime soon," Vegeta said. "The bastard deserves anything he gets."

"Wait a sec," Goku said, resting his hand on his lover's arm. "You attacked Mr. Satan?"

"No, Trunks did," he said. "I just blew up their cars."

"It was cool," Goten said. "Just like in a western."

"Yeah, and he kept threatening us," Trunks said with a broad grin, "and saying he was gonna do stuff, but Videl only fired a bazooka at dad before her car crashed on Mr. Satan's."

"I'm starting to see what you mean by a bad influence," Mrs. Briefs said. "I'm surprised they don't get into fights at school."

Trunks and Goten exchanged a look and smiled.

"Well, any that we hear about," Vegeta said. "Are you three finished? We woke up late, so we have to catch up on the day's training."

"I'm done," Trunks and Goten said at once, jumping from their chairs and running outside.

Staring at the food on the table for a moment, Goku sighed and wolfed down what was left on his plate. He followed Vegeta out and then bumped into him, nearly sending the prince onto their sons in front of him. Acting on instinct, he grabbed Vegeta and pulled him up straight, then looked up at what had surprised all of them. "Gohan?"

Standing on the ground in front of them, Gohan and Piccolo were dressed in the usual purple training outfits and trying not to notice the looks a few of the workers gave them from the labs on the side.

"Gohan?" Goten whispered.

"Yeah," he said. He looked at Vegeta, who'd just smacked Kakarrot's hands off and missed giving him another black eye. "Is it all right if we train with you guys?"

"That'd be great," Goku said before anyone else could. "It's been a long time since we trained together."

"But we're not going easy on him, right?" Piccolo nudged Gohan forward. "He needs to get his edge back."

"No, we won't go easy on you," Trunks said.

Piccolo grinned to show off his fangs. "Great. That's just what we want, right?"

"Yeah," Gohan said. "Right."

"Perfect," Vegeta said, crossing his arms. "Then our first training exercise will be a dogpile on the Namek."

"What?" Piccolo looked from Vegeta to the boys and Goku, then back at Gohan, who now wore the same evil look the Saiyan prince did. "Uh, guys..."

"Get him!" the boys yelled as they lunged.

Piccolo soared into the air, reaching a hundred feet before someone grabbed his waist from behind.

"Let me go!"

"You're the one who wants me to get my edge back," Gohan said. "Don't complain about it now."

"Ewww," Trunks said as he flew closer. "No one wants to see you guys screw."

"We're not--" Piccolo tried to say, but he found himself tipped upside down and falling towards the ground.

When the dust rose from the impact site and Trunks and Goten disappeared into the dust cloud, Goku glanced down at Vegeta, who hadn't moved to join the fight.

"Um, aren't you gonna fight with them?"

"I said dogpile," Vegeta said. "Not how many. They seem to have things in order for awhile, and I have something else I want to take care of right now." He put his hand in Goku's. "Take us back to the bedroom."

While the four in front of them wrestled and yelled, Goku transmitted himself and Vegeta out.