01: Chapter 01
I sit here alone as I always do, alone in presence, alone in spirit, alone in life. I look around my full yet empty haven. It’s ironic how a room so messy and full of stuff can be so empty at the same time. I look to my computer desk; cans of generic cola are piled around on it, some on the floor. Empty teacups with the bags still in them sit here and there amongst the stacks of empty cup o' soups and empty boxes of Pocky. Beneath the trash and empty Little Debbie wrappers lay random scattered action figures and a few bottles of acrylic paint that Mom bought me, hoping it would give me a “creative outlet.”
Painting is ok, when I first got them I painted a lot of pictures of my tousan, intending to give him the best one, but he never got home. It’s been years now…
Oh right, getting back to my room, from my ceiling hangs various educational mobiles my mother thought would help me along in my studies. She got the idea when she walked into my room to see me staring blankly at my ceiling once. I do that a lot, just stare off into space, thinking, imagining. The real world is such a cruel place. My fantasies are so much better. There, him and me spar and play and fish, just like we used to before… before he abandoned me… I mean, sure he was trying to save us all but did he stop to consider how *I* would feel? Did he? What should I expect? He never has but this time is different. This time he isn’t coming back in a year or two. This time is permanent…
Oh right… back to my room. In the corner is a heap of comics toppling over, anything from “Spiderman” to “Neon Genesis Evangelion.” The “Superman” and “Power Ranger” comics have always been my favorite. I just love those poses the Power Rangers do. They look *so* cool! Sometimes, I imagine my dad and I are super heroes together, making speeches and saving the day. It would be so great! We could wear matching outfits, maybe with red capes like Superman and we could save the world and actually get credit for it.
Oh right, I was thinking about my room. On the wall are a few beat up posters of my favorite super heroes. Dende, I miss my father so much… Poor Goten, he’ll never even get to meet him… Oh, Goten is my little brother, he’ll be 2 next month. Mom spends a lot of time with him. I guess she feels bad too…
I like to collect marbles. They are small and pretty, and they remind me so much of the dragon-balls. If only… if only the dragon balls still existed I would collect them all, collect them all and wish for just one, just one person who could understand, who would relate to me… who could end my loneliness.
