Chapter 01
It seemed like forever since the first day I realized I was in love with you. I can’t really explain why I fell in love but I can tell you how it felt. It was like…eating strawberries in a warm field after a hard day's work or swimming to the bottom of the clearest pond and looking up to see the sun shining down, almost as if it were from another world. As if you were from another world.
Well, as a matter of fact, you are, but still…
The day I fell in love with you was a day that can never be forgotten. I will always remember the way my heart thudded in my chest and the way my breath caught on every syllable of your name as I realized that I, the studious shy one, had found my soulmate.
It’s too bad you’ve never realized the same.
And that I never followed up on my feelings.
Yes, so long ago I fell in love with you, but just when I got enough courage to approach you about it, let alone say the words, my childhood crush appeared out of nowhere and I found myself wrapped in his embrace once more.
Not that I can really complain, since before I fell in love with you I felt a passion for him that made it hard to breathe whenever he was around.
I didn’t really have the heart to tell him no; he WAS my first love after all, but every night he told me that we belonged together I had to wonder if I’d made the right choice.
I still wondered even as I walked up to the altar on our wedding day. It was scary, standing up there in front of Mirai Torunksu, listening to Dende join us together in an everlasting ceremony. Despite my misgivings, I looked into his eyes, and, Kai's help me, said I’d love him forever and no one else for the rest of our lives.
And as Torunksu began saying his vows I couldn’t help thinking that I’d broken my wedding vows before the wedding had even concluded.
I wanted to run away, to run down the aisle where you were sitting in the very back and tell you the truth.
But…I couldn’t. Not when Torunksu looked into my eyes after saying ‘I do’ with such happiness in his eyes, that he looked like his present self, or when Dende asked if there was anyone who objected to the marriage.
Naturally, I looked to you in search of answer, but when your expression remained unreadable and no words came from your mouth I realized that maybe nothing would come from you, because maybe…
Maybe…
You don’t have the same feelings as I do.
I don’t like to think that, especially not when I have several children to raise in my big lonely house that Torunksu hardly ever sees, given that he’s the co-president of Capsule Corp and rarely has enough time to eat, let alone see his children. Becoming a president does that to you I guess. It’s hard to keep everything together when you're co-president and not out of college yet but soon, I know Torunksu will have more free time, and I..well, I will probably have more children.
That seems to be my role. I don’t hate it but I wonder if we had been together what would have happened. Would I have had the same amount of children? Would you have carried me to bed when I was too tired to move after a day of taking care of five rambunctious little ones, who felt that it was their duty to make the house a complete mess?
I don’t know, and I guess I never will, especially after I discovered that less than two years after I married one of the world’s richest men you were no longer single.
It came as a shock. I couldn’t believe that you, of all people, would get together with my father, the one person you had sworn years ago, you would surpass no matter what it took.
I guess you had never returned my feelings or you had given up on me.
Either way, I found myself moving on. I took care of the children, watching them grow up into young adults and I stayed with Torunksu, lying to him each and every day as I told him I loved him just as much as he loved me.
I should have felt guilty, I know, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t. I would find myself thinking of your arrogant stance, the way your eyes sparked when you became angry, and the way your voice would be sharp and stern when you berated someone for being an idiotic fool.
I have moved on. It has been years and the children have all grown up now, living their own lives. Torunksu isn’t as busy as he used to be and on the days when there is nothing to do we often find ourselves curled up on the couch, watching a good movie.
I’ve bonded to him, somewhat. I still haven’t told him that I love you, and…I guess I never will. I really don’t want to hurt him like that, especially since we’ve been together so long. I do love him, I know that. I just can’t give him your place in my heart.
Especially since Father left a few years ago. I, as well as everyone else, had thought that it was permanent, that you two were bonded, but…I guess…nothing can keep Father from doing what he wants.
I heard that he said that he wanted to explore. It’s funny that he never came to see me before he left. I am his eldest child and all but I guess he thought I would get mad.
I don’t know what he thought but I do know that I would have gotten angry. I may have still loved you but I wouldn’t have denied you the chance to be happy.
Him leaving definitely did make you unhappy. I remember how you showed up at my house in the middle of night, eyes cold as you stood in the doorway. I felt the anger in you, clear as day as I stood open mouthed in the hallway, unable to say anything in my shock.
You didn’t say anything that night. You just looked at both of us, and then reached forward and grabbed Torunksu, demanding that he join you in a midnight spar.
I didn’t stop you. You were upset but I wondered what had happened.
Even now, that question still remains unanswered.
I still love you but even though you remain single I refuse to approach you and tell you everything. I don’t know what would happen if I did, but I know that the consequences would be dire, for both myself and my family.
So, I remain where I am, Briefs Gohan, the man with everything.
Yet, no matter how much I have, I only want one thing, one individual.
You. Vegeta.
The man I will always love.
Even if you don’t love me in return.
