Chapter 03
“Too strong for too long (and I can’t be without you baby)
And I’ll be waiting up until you get home (cuz I can’t sleep without you baby)
Anybody who’s ever loved, ya know just what I feel
Too hard to fake it, nothing can replace it
Call the radio if you just can’t be without your baby.” -Mary J Blige.
5 months ago
I awoke the next morning confused about my whereabouts. It defiantly didn’t look like my room and I could sense some near me. I turned around only to come face to face with Gohan. That’s when the nights events came rushing back to me. I continued to stare at Gohan sleeping peacefully. I reached my hand out to stoke through Gohan’s disheveled hair. He groaned slightly and I quickly withdrew my hand. I silently snuggled closely to Gohan not wanting to move but I knew sooner or later I would have to.
“Gohan you have always been there for me…..just promise that when you…when you get m-mar..” I couldn’t bring my self to say the word. “You know that nothing will change between us.” I whisper to his sleeping figure. Then as if he were responding to me he lifted his arm and placed it around me pulling me closer. I glanced up at his face and let a rush of reassure and security overflow me. Realizing that Gohan mouth is only centimeters away from mine I decide to go for it and kiss him. After all he was sleep and this could be my only chance. Without any hesitation I captured Gohan’s lips in a simple yet dream fulfilling kiss. Gohan shifted a bit and to my astonishment started kissing me back. I froze temporally trying to process the whole event in my head. My dreams and deepest desires where unfolding right before my eyes and I a front row seat to it all. Gohan was actually kissing me back. I must have been dreaming right? I pinch myself only to come to a startling realization. I WASN’T DREAMING. I started to feel a little light headed from lack of oxygen. I gently released Gohan’s lips to catch my breath. I stared at him silently his eyes were still closed and he appeared to be still sleep. Maybe I was imagining Gohan kissing me back after all Goten always said that I had an overactive imagination. I wish I knew what was going trough Gohan`s head right now. Gohan again shifted in his sleep pulling me closer. I blush slightly as I fall asleep in his arms again.
The next time I awoke I was in my bed.
***
Present
Since that night Gohan and I haven’t talked much. Lately our conversations have been shorten almost awkward like. We never really had an actual talk and when we were face to face it was even more uncomfortable like he had a hidden motive, like he was hiding something from me. Of course Gohan being a terrible liar I saw through his disguise, but every time I called him on it he would falter and change the subject. Did that kiss really have that much of an impact on him? Is he doing this because of me? Because I kissed him? Or because he liked it? Either way it went I thought part of it was my fault for kissing him, but I didn’t understand it all too much I mean after all he did kiss me back. I tired calling him, but he wouldn’t return my calls. I must be the stupidest person in the world. I managed to let my feelings for Gohan get in the way and ruined our friendship all in one day. That has to be some kind of record for me at least.
But that still doesn’t explain why he is running away from me. Its not like I meant to do it. It just somehow happened. I never really had intentions of kissing Gohan. My lucid side interjected.
You did mean to do it! Don`t even try to blame this on your emotions, you are solely to blame . It’s luck that Gohan didn’t smell your anxiousness and neediness to please him. The other side replied.
It was as if I were a spectator witnessing everything that I`ve tried to hide every secret, every fear, every…desire.
Ok so maybe a part of me did mean to do it but Gohan’s not like that he wouldn’t just stop talking to me all together. Gohan’s a mature adult and if he didn’t like me that way or felt I was coming on to him he’d say so. The rational side pleaded trying to persuade the other to listen long enough to get its point across.
Yeah Gohan would stop talking to you if he found out that you were bisexual. He’s not you are its that simple. My other side countered.
Gohan’s my friend and has been for as long as I can remember. Even if he did find out that I was bisexual and I’ve be infatuated with him every since I was first introduced to him he still wouldn’t just flat out ignore me…..he wouldn’t. The other said not sounding too confident in its answer anymore.
The opposed side spoke again, He also is getting married to Videl and doesn’t have time to deal with a child who is “crushing” on him. Besides if Gohan was bi, hypothetically speaking of course, he could surely find someone way better than you……than us…..I think…
I tried to process everything and sort both sides out but I never got a chance as the other spoke up again, I know for a fact that Gohan doesn’t want to marry Videl. He kiss me back for crying out loud, and that kiss proved to me that he wants me but he’s scared.
Involuntary there’s a big difference, and I think that your reading way to much into this one. Gohan is clearly engrossed with Videl normally so who says that he even notices you most of the time?
For the first time silence filled the room as both sides ceased noise The coherent side seemed to be thinking of a comeback as the opposed side smirked with satisfaction. As quickly as the silence engulfed the room the quarrelling began again.
The lucid side spoke up again, You don’t know that for sure. Maybe he wanted to kiss me as much as I wanted to him. Maybe Gohan’s just confused and uncertain. And he noticed me enough that night to come looking for me.
That’s because you reacted like a child. You ran off without a second thought all because of your stupid feelings for Gohan! You couldn’t stand the fact that Gohan was kissing Videl and not you. So you ran like a coward! What would Vegeta think? The other spat.
“Enough!” I yelled as loudly as I could silencing the voices. I bring my knees up to my chest cradling them. Rocking back and forth sobbing uncontrollably I try to seize at a concept any concept that would help me out of this situation I was in. Failing to maintain my composure I lie back and attempt to cry myself to sleep.
“It’s not my fault……” I murmur as I fall into a deep slumber.
***
Gohan’s POV
I sat in the silent classroom staring at students with blank expressions on their faces. “Any questions?” I ask again receiving even more empty stares and silence from my students. Thankfully this was the last class of the day and I could go home to my fiancée. I’m getting married in two months and I don’t seem to be all to excited about it. Of course I still want to get married but every since Trunks…. Flashbacks of that night invade my mind as I remember the scent of his lavender hair and the warmth and comfort of his body against mine. I shake my head in protest and try to regain control of myself. Yes its true that every since that night I’ve thought of him more and yes I didn’t mind being with him holding him and making everything that had bothered him melt away even just for one night. But it can’t be. Me and Trunks it can never be. If Ignoring him is the best way to stop these feelings from escalating then that’s exactly what I`ll do. I know it probably wasn’t the best plan but its just a complicated matter. I mean he kissed me and I don’t know how to react to that. Maybe it was an accident but then again it seemed pretty intentional from where I stood. I really shouldn’t have kissed him back. I don’t know why I did it probably just reflex but giving him false hope like that only to be rejected later is harsh. But I didn’t mind kissing Trunks something about it seemed right and…NO its disgusting to be with another male I mean its unheard of. But Trunks is different he brings something out in me that I haven’t been able to express to anyone not even Videl. Am I…..am I falling for Tru-……Don’t be absurd he’s still a kid and I have…Videl. Maybe I should just talk to him and straighten this whole thing out that way we can come to an understanding that the whole thing was just a big mistake. Yes I’ll talk to him tomorrow besides I have to see him anyway for his birthday party. Problem solved for now.
The bell rang snapping me out of my daydream. “Your free to go.” I stated to the class. Without a second notice the students gathered their things and rushed out of the room. I didn’t realize I was that boring. Laughing at the comment I grab my jacket and suitcase. I began to walk to the door grabbing the knob lightly and twisting it to open I turn the light off and look back at the empty room. Sighing I proceed to the exit and home to my awaiting fiancée.
I pulled into the drive way turning off the engine I stepped out of the car and immediately felt a familiar ki. I unlocked the door and walked in to find Goten sitting at the table talking to Videl.
“Hey bro.” He calls out when he realizes that I’m there. I nod at him and smile in response then proceed to my bedroom for some much needed sleep.
“Gohan!” He yelled before I completely exited the room. “We need to talk.”
Out of all the times he wanted to talk it would be now. Sighing miserably I shuffled back to the kitchen and sat across from Goten He looked up to Videl who had been sitting silently listening to everything.
“It’s sort of private if you don’t mind.” . He murmured to her. I looked at him suspiciously before looking back at Videl. She nodded and left the room giving us our privacy.
“So what’s the big secret?” I asked after a long silence.
“I should be asking you that question.” He replied.
I raised an eyebrow in response, “Oh.”
“Yeah it’s about Trunks.” He responded.
I faltered and prepare myself for a long long talk with my little brother. Why the sudden interest in Trunks? Did he tell anyone about what happened that night? The kiss? Kami I hope not. After all it was a misunderstanding right. I wish I could’ve talked to him before I talk to Goten.
“And I think that you have something to do with it.” he finished causing me to glance at him in shock.
What does he know?
“What do you mean?” I asked regaining my composure.
“Ok fine I’ll just go talk to Trunks. I’m sure I can get more out of him anyway.” Goten replied storming out of the house.
I sighed again. I just hope that Trunks will stay quite long enough for me to talk to him and straighten this out.
***
Trunks’ POV
I got out of the bed still a little groggy, but hungry nonetheless. I shuffled my way to the kitchen to find something to eat. I rummaged through the kitten in search for food finally settling down with a abnormally large bowl of cereal. While I ate in silence I let my mind drift off again to Gohan. Lately its been hard to stop thinking about him. I was so close to him and we kissed. I touched my lips remembering the breathtaking kiss we shared. As my mind was off in lala land Goten walked in and sat across from me with a amused look on his face.
“So who’s the luck girl?” Goten asked chuckling and bringing me back to reality.
I paused confusion spreading across my face as I looked at my best friend. “What do…you mean?”
It was his turn to be confused. “Well I just meant that you are sitting here like cupid shot you with an arrow. So who’s the lucky girl?”
“There is no lucky girl.” That was the truth.
He looked at me with an `I don’t get it’ expression a splitting image of his father. I just laughed. Goten looked at me as if I were crazy and I just laughed harder.
He sighed, “Sometimes I just don’t get you. Weirdo.”
“Aw that hurt.” I replied finally calming down enough to speak.
“It’s the truth- Stop changing the subject tell me who it is that is occupying your time. You’ve been Mr. Solitude for the past five months. So spill already!” He demanded aggressively.
He is so damn persistent sometimes its almost unbearable. No matter how many times I tell him there is no girl he is still hell-bent on insisting that there one. Although he isn’t all wrong I have been overly absorbed with Gohan to pay attention to Goten.
“Trust me it’s nothing.” I reassure him.
“Ok then what’s up with you and my brother?” He asks catching me off guard causing me to almost fall out of my seat.
Ok that was sudden, really sudden. What does he know?
“What do you mean?” I ask nonchalantly.
“Don’t play dumb Gohan asked the same question. There’s obviously something up with you two and I want in.” He demanded again sliding his chair backwards and slamming his hands down on the table.
Have I been that obvious or has he been paying close attention to me lately? Whatever it is I just wish he would stop asking so many questions. Some things I would like to be kept a secret if it ok with him. But if I don’t tell him he’ll keep prying and prying until he eventually finds out.
I sighed, “It’s a long story you might wanna sit down first.”
He did as he was asked retrieving the chair he sat down across from me listening closely as I began to tell him everything.
“Look long story short I’m bisexual.” I paused giving him time to process what was just said. “And I sort of…..have a big crush on….Gohan.” I finally managed to say his name. Goten’s look was priceless. There was a mixture of confusion, fascination, and something I quite couldn’t make out. “I’m not finished.” I say catching his attention again, “Gohan and I kissed about five months ago.”
“You what!” He yelled this time sending his chair to the floor as he slid back.
“Please just wait till I finish. And then you can ask all the questions you want.” I assured him watching him seating himself in a chair closer to me. “Well that night that he and Videl made their engagement public I didn’t take it the right way. I didn’t think that Gohan would marry her I thought it was just a temporary thing.” I saw Goten nod in agreement. “And so I left. Apparently Gohan had been concerned that’s when he came looking for me and found me. I spent the night in his arms and the next morning I awoke to find myself still in his arms. Goten it was as if we were suspended in time and all that matter was that we were together. Gohan was still sleep and I whispered to him for a while before he grabbed me closer to him and that’s when I kissed him.”
“You…..Gohan….and then you……..” Goten was at lost for words as he stuttered out a response to all the information he was receiving.
I raise my hand to silence him and continued my story, “At first I thought I was dreaming that Gohan was kissing me back but he was Goten he kissed me back.” Goten looked as surprised as a 4 year old opening presents on Christmas day. I could see excitement in his eyes as he continued to watch me in a trancelike fashion. “I know, I know you always say I have an overactive imagination and I could have been dreaming that Gohan kissed me, but it wasn’t a dream it was reality. I broke the kiss to overwhelmed to continue and out of breath. But that kiss stay with me as I fell asleep in his arms again. When I woke up again I was here.”
Goten continued to stared at me with a blank expression on his face completely indecipherable. My first instinct was to tell him everything was a joke and to laugh it off, but I was frozen in fear. Goten had never looked at me like that before. Unreadable, unpredictable, but a coolly gaze.
“Um Goten…..” I started but couldn’t find the words to finish.
Goten’s look softened as he began to speak, “….Trunks…..”
