Sequel of Don't Speak – Trunks and Goten's affair left deep scars but some wounds need more than time to get healed, especially when the former lover's paths cross again. Does it still make sense to question past choices ?
Trunks was listening to the slow drumming of the raindrops on the window. His room was bathed in the white light falling through the skylight above the bed, and reflecting on the bare walls. There was no other furniture than the bed and no other color than white in the whole room. He never felt a real need for anything else. He loved that moment, when his mind was just emerging from sleep and the dazzling light welcomed him. He was lying on his back with the cozy quilt barely brushing his skin, its touch as light as a feather.
He stared at the ceiling and at the windowpane above him. Through the glass, he could see white clouds crowding the sky and releasing a summer downpour, drop by drop.
He stretched and pushed Tam's arm away from his chest. Trunks had to get up now.
He lifted himself on his elbows and shivered as he discovered the freshness of the air outside the blankets. He felt Tam's arms sliding back around his waist. Trunks looked down at him. His lover's head was hardly surfacing from the white comforter and the half-Saiyan couldn't see his entire face. Just a black, shiny eye glowing through his ebony strands.
Before Trunks could make a single move, Tam crawled closer and embraced him completely, pressing himself against his chest. Caught off guard by his lover's weight, Trunks fell back on his back. He didn't try to get up and just stayed still while playfully running his fingers through Tam's hair. "I have to go see my parents today, I promised," Trunks whispered.
As a reply, Tam nestled himself a little closer against his body as a way to beg him to stay. Trunks didn't move and kept playing with the dark strands further. Tam then loosened one of his arms wrapped around the heir, and slipped his free hand underneath the comforter in a very slow gesture. He brushed Trunks's skin all along the way and stopped his movement when he reached his groin. Trunks closed his eyes, enjoying the tickle of the slight touch. Then, Tam started a soft stroke, like a shy invitation.
Trunks was still motionless, drowned in the darkness behind his closed eyelids. He clenched his hand in Tam's hair as desire was growing slowly in his body. He was willing to wait for his arousal to come up at its natural pace without forcing anything. Tam's gesture turned gradually franker and rougher until Trunks was hard enough.
The half Saiyan still had closed eyes. He felt his lover letting go of him and coming back to face him and press his lips on his. First, the kisses were shy and quick, but then they became more eager and Trunks couldn't help but kiss back. When he felt Tam's tongue searching for his, he grabbed the dark-haired man's head to press their mouths together even more feverishly.
Overwhelmed by his urge, Trunks sat up and pushed his lover aside in order to slam him back on the mattress. The heir broke the kiss and ran his hungry lips along Tam's neck and down to the crook of his shoulders, while leaving a wet track on his skin with the tip of his tongue.
Tam's breathe was loud and he gasped when Trunks grabbed his crotch and started to stroke him in a gentle pace. Trunks kept on teasing him until he was rewarded by a complete arousal.
With Tam, things were easy. He was so responsive. For some reason, Trunks had always an amazing intuition to guess what might excite him a little more.
Trunks moisturized his fingers and slid them with caution into his lover. Tam gave a brief moan of pleasure that startled him.
The half Saiyan couldn't help a smirk as he realized his friend was close to his limit already. Tam's limit was never far away to say the least, and Trunks even suspected that he was often holding back. From the beginning, Trunks had always held this weird, strong sway over him and most of the time, the right move, the right act would excite the dark-haired man in a blink. That violent and greedy desire Tam had for him never failed to arouse Trunks's own lust.
He withdrew his fingers and lifted his lover's legs with care in order to adjust his position. His first thrust was slow and cautious. Head buried in the fluffy pillow, Tam gave a hoarse moan. Trunks closed his eyes again to enjoy the pleasure that was pervading him. The trance overwhelmed him little by little as his movements went faster to fit his own pleasure.
Tam's unexpected orgasm vibrated through his body but Trunks didn't weaken his thrusting as an intense, delighting heat was growing in his gut. Keeping his eyes closed, he listened to Tam's heavy panting. While their skins were brushing against each other, Trunks enjoyed the sensuality of his lover's sweaty body underneath him. He could also feel the tension of the orgasm fading away in every muscle of his partner.
Trunks knew that his hard thrusting was extending Tam's pleasure and it was a game for the heir to refuse any rest to his lover's body and to keep his desire alive. Tam started to moan again. This alone caused Trunks a feeling of wild bliss and he ended up coming with a deep groan.
Gasping for breath, he leaned forward in a slow gesture and rested gently his head on his lover's chest. Tam wrapped his arms around Trunks's shoulders and nestled his nose in his hair. Trunks stayed still for a while, waiting for his heartbeat to recover to a normal pace.
Only then, he noticed that the tears were back. As usual, they had been silent, painless and unsuspected until they had overflowed his eyelashes. Fuck.
Despite Trunks's reluctance, Tam lifted softly the heir's head to face him. His black eyes stared at him for a minute while the lavender-haired man was still trying to look away in annoyance. Tam's features drooped into a sorry, questioning expression. "You're crying. Again," he stated.
Trunks snatched away from him all of a sudden. He sat up on the edge on the bed with his back to his lover, while wiping his eyes in a hurry. "I'm not. Just stop it," the heir mumbled with a frown that his friend couldn't see.
Tam rested a soft hand on his shoulder. "Trunks…"
Trunks turned in one go. His blue eyes were still cloudy, but dry by now, and he was wearing a weak smile. "See? I'm not crying. Why would I anyway? You should go back to sleep. Now, I'm going to be really late and my mother is gonna be pissed."
Tam was still staring at him with concerned features. Trunks gave him back a soft yet firm gaze meaning Take that and mind your own business.
Tam's eyes turned stern. He knew Trunks didn't want to talk about that, he never did. These goddam tears always showed up whenever they would have sex. Each time.
Trunks and him had been lovers for four months and Tam hadn't noticed this weird phenomenon straight up. Now, he was sure that Trunks had tried to hide it as long as possible. Tam had understood that he was embarrassed, because the fact was that, strangely enough, Trunks could not prevent himself from shedding these tears. Each time.
Yet, Tam had eventually discovered Trunks's secret. Each time they had sex, there were tears. No sobs, Trunks was not crying, strictly speaking. It was just about a sudden excess of salty water overflowing his eyes and ending up in tiny drops sliding down his cheeks, and sometimes Trunks wasn't even aware of it. Maybe he should see a doctor. Nevertheless, Tam suspected there wouldn't be much a mere doctor could do to heal this odd evil.
Trunks patted his lover's cheek and ran his thumb over his lips before giving a slight kiss on his forehead.
As time went by, Tam had become his haven. The time Trunks spent with him was the time he needed to take some air before diving back into his suffocating, tasteless life. Trunks had understood that Tam was feeling exactly the same about him, for some personal reason. That strange relationship between them allowed no questions and the only things each of them knew about the other was only what they had accepted to confess, but none of them had ever asked anything. Even about the tears.
Trunks left Tam behind in the bed in order to shower and get dressed. He would be downright late by now.
When he was done and out of the bathroom, Trunks found his friend dressed up as well and lacing up his sneakers. "You're leaving already?" Trunks asked with surprise.
"Huh. I wanna see if there is any chance for me to do overtime at work. I'm kind of broke and I have to pay the rent soon," the young man explained, without even looking up.
Trunks watched him in silence as Tam was focusing on his laces with his head down. In this position, Trunks couldn't see his face and his heart sank. That way, Tam looked so much like him. The black-haired man froze his gesture and looked up all of a sudden, as if suspecting Trunks's thoughts. His wide dark eyes stared at the heir for a moment. "Will you be there tonight?" Tam finally asked while adjusting his shoes.
"I dunno. I'll call you if it's okay with you," Trunks replied in a low voice.
Tam merely shrugged and grabbed his jacket. Trunks had the feeling his friend was hurt. Tam would never complain, nor ask a single question but, it wouldn't prevent him from being hurt. It seemed that this code of silence between them was weighing heavy on him lately, especially since he had discovered that damn tears issue.
Trunks was aware that, perhaps, Tam became attached to him more than he should have. Yet, cowardly enough, Trunks refused to think about it. He felt good with Tam, as good as he could hope to be since life had ripped from him what was the most precious to his eyes, and he couldn't consider the idea of now being deprived of this fragile comfort. If their arrangement didn't suit Tam anymore, he just had to say it. Besides, Trunks suspected that his lover had overcome much more painful events in his life than a simple broken heart, so there was no doubt he would make it.
Trunks sighed. He wrapped his arms around Tam's shoulders in a gentle gesture and pulled him closer. Tam hugged him back and rested his forehead in the crook of the heir's neck. "I have to go now," Trunks said with a soft voice after a while.
Tam got the message and released him halfheartedly. Trunks gave him a comforting smile before they exited the apartment.
Trunks left his friend on the sidewalk and watched him running out on the street in an attempt to catch the bus that would take him in the bad part of the towns where Tam worked and lived. When his lover was out of sight, Trunks headed to the underground parking lot to get his unwieldy SUV.
He never used this car a lot, its motor wasn't powerful enough for his liking. Yet, since Goten had left, he couldn't take any other car. No matter that this one was too big to drive in a town's streets, no matter that it was too slow to drive on highways, it remained a memory of Goten. Sometimes when Trunks was stuck in traffic jam, he couldn't help but to think back about everything they'd gone through in this exact car and a lump formed in his throat.
Goten had left a scarf, a box of his awful gums and even cigarettes in the glove compartment, but Trunks had removed none of these things. They were like pieces of Goten and they had to stay untouched. The seat's leather, and the months that had passed by, had left no hope of survival for Goten's scent, but sometimes, when he closed his eyes, Trunks could imagine that his friend was sprawled on the passenger seat next to him and watching the overcrowded streets with a dreamy indifference.
This stupid car had become Trunks's little obsessive museum, in a sense. He knew that this habit was unhealthy and that he should change that car if he ever wanted to move on. After all, Trunks had himself initiated their separation and he still had the firm belief that it had been the best thing to do for Goten's sake.
Trunks didn't regret his decision. What he regretted though, was being too weak to take it. Almost ten months after their break-up, he was still unable to move on. He was even unable to consider any attempt to do so.
He turned onto the main road and headed to his parents' house. Rather oddly, his break-up with Goten had somehow estranged him from his mother. At some point, he'd even vowed a grudge to her because of what happened. He couldn't say exactly what he could blame her for but he was so unhappy anyway, that he felt like the entire world was to blame for ripping Goten away from him.
Trunks was aware that he had withdrawn into himself during the last months and he had to admit that Bulma had been the first one to pay the price. She had perceived her son's distress, but he hadn't allowed her to help him. He had always ruthlessly rejected each single attempt from her to comfort him. He would no longer confide in her, or in anyone else.
He had that persistent feeling that nobody had cared to help Goten and him. Indeed, everyone had only started to take an interest in them when it had been too late and Trunks found it so hypocritical and fake that it made him even more furious. This constant bitterness along with his lonely nature had ended up isolating him.
Yet, he had been surprised to realize that the only person who would still bring him a semblance of solace was his sister.
Over the months, Trunks had learned to live with the pain and to wear back his unaffected mask of perfection. He'd gone back to the basic rules of social life, which implied to force himself to focus on a talk and to remember to visit his family from time to time. That way, he had reconnected with Bulma and thus with Bra too.
When he'd come back to his family's house, his sister had been happy on the go. She had welcomed him so naturally, regardless of his mood, that he had been stunned by such carefreeness.
She was still a child in many ways and she didn't bother the least with all these grown up complications. What happened with Goten was already ancient history in her mind and, unlike the adults, she'd never offered her support to her brother, but she had always demanded his attention instead. He still felt bad for having neglected her the way he had, so he'd had no other choice than to accept to spend more time with her.
In those moments, she dragged him into her sweet and unruly world which was the exact opposite of his, so serious and sad. In those moments, it was no longer about Goten or about the void their affair had left in Trunks's life. Trunks didn't have time to mull further over these depressing things and he allowed his mind back to life. He was even able to laugh.
Bra would never try to start a frank talk about his concerns, she would never ask what was wrong and she would never hug him in a comforting gesture all of a sudden. Never had she forced her good mood in order to divert him from his melancholy. She was a kid. No matter what happened, she was still the center of the world and Trunks, one of her favorite satellites. Thinking about it, Trunks realized it was maybe exactly what he needed.
However, until he'd met Tam, Trunks still had that feeling that his life was doomed to stay a chain of tasteless days. Bulma knew nothing about Tam but without any doubt, she suspected his existence. Even if Trunks didn't confess anything to her anymore, she was still a smart mother and her son's change of mood since he had his new lover had certainly not gone unnoticed to her. Trunks wondered when she would yield into her burning desire to ask him questions and he dreaded that moment in anticipation.
He parked in front of the house and noticed an unfamiliar car. Bulma had some company and she hadn't warned him. He had a second thought, standing next to his open car door. He had no desire to make conversation with God knows who, while forcing a smile upon his face like someone perfectly fine. The idea of turning back home on the go brushed his mind. Yet, he had promised he would come see his mother and he didn't like to disappoint her. He suspected she was waiting for him with some childish excitement. He slammed his door with a sigh and headed to the front door.
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