Welcome to DBZ Love Garden

__"Kakarot...about the other day. I..."

"I'm sorry, Vegeta. I, uh, I just don't feel that way about you. I mean, I like you and all, it's not that, it's just..."

"What?"

"Just that...I'm not gay. I like you as a friend, but I just couldn't bring myself to be more than that. I like women."

Vegeta turned his back to the low class, not wanting Goku to see the shame burning across his cheeks. The other man had completely refused him. Him! The Prince of all Saiyans!

Vegeta had come back to make sure that he hadn't misinterpreted the other man's actions. And he hadn't. He didn't stand a chance with the muscular Saiyan.

"Good. I didn't want you to take it the wrong way, Kakarot. It was just an accident. That's all. I would never lower myself in that way," he said in a voice that brooked no arguments. Not bothering to turn and see the other man's reaction, he flew off to Capsule Corporation. Flew off before Goku could see his true feelings.__

~*~*~*~*~

Vegeta awoke on the kitchen floor, his head throbbing from some unknown pain. Looking around without moving, all he could see was white. Slowly moving his aching body, he crawled to his hands and knees. Thinking back on all that happened, he wasn't sure what to make of it.

'Kakarot...why do you hate me so much? What did I do to you other than love you? Was that so bad? People all over the universe have begged for just a smile from me...and I offered you my heart. Why?

Why?

Why didn't you understand?

Why didn't you care?

Why didn't you love me?'

Rising from the floor little by little, he managed to steady himself on his feet. Scanning the area wearily, he decided he was safe for the moment. Going to the refrigerator, he surveyed the contents before quickly inhaling everything edible in sight. He didn't know how long it had been since he last ate, but his body was going to collapse if he didn't eat something.

After finishing off everything he could find, he made his way upstairs to his room. Collapsing on the bed, he couldn't will himself to move any farther. Tears ran freely from his eyes, but he was too exhausted to wipe them away. To exhausted to deny how weak he was. To exhausted to fight back.

'Look at what you have done to me, Kakarot. Does this make you happy? To see the proud Vegeta like this?

Is this how you wanted to see me all along?'

He stared at the ceiling and watched his life play in the shadows. Watched his childhood be ripped from him. Watched his heart be ripped from him. Watched his life be ripped from him.

Everything he had ever had was stolen from him. Always. There was nothing left he could call his own. Not even his life. The darkness ruled his life now.

Vegeta, who had always strived to stay in control of everything, now had no control over anything.

And that scared him.

'Look at me, Kakarot. Look at me! Look at what I've been reduced to! LOOK AT WHAT YOU MADE ME!

You fucking BASTARD! You DID THIS TO ME! You ruined my life! You continue to torment me from the Other World. WHY can't you just LEAVE ME ALONE?

why can't you let me hate you?

if I could just hate you then things would be easier.

IF I COULD HATE YOU THEN I COULD KILL YOU AND THEN I COULD WIN AND YOU WOULD BE OUT OF MY LIFE AND I COULD HAVE PEACE!

If you would just leave me alone and I could figure something out and then I would have a plan and then I could defeat you for good!'

Filled with turmoil and longing, Vegeta struggled with himself for some kind of balance. Would he destroy Kakarot or not? Could he even bring himself to HATE the other Saiyan? Could he control himself long enough to wreak the same havoc that Kakarot had wreaked upon him?

Could Vegeta, the one time slaughter of millions, kill the man he loved?

'But I love him still. I couldn't bring myself to hurt him no matter what he does to me.

But he hurt me. And people who hurt me die. That's how it's always been.

It isn't his fault. I deserve this for some reason. This is my punishment.

I am Vegeta! I have no guilt. I did what I did and nobody on this earth will punish me for it.

Kakarot is punishing me. If he is punishing me then I must deserve it. He's the good guy.

Kakarot deserves to die.

I deserve to die.

Just die.

Die.

Everyone will die for doing this to me.

Everyone will be happy then.

They'll all pay. I'll make sure they all pay.

Pay for sins against...

Against me.'

Vegeta watched as he killed Kakarot. As he killed the Z warriors. As he killed everyone who had looked at him the wrong way. As he killed everyone who had hurt him. As he killed everyone.

Everyone died. And left Vegeta alone. And that made Vegeta happy. Happy. He had a chance to be happy.

"Be happy, Vegeta."

Smiling, he slipped into a dreamless sleep for the first time in months.

~*~*~*~*~

"Goku?"

"Yes, he was yelling for me to get Goku out of the house and never speak his name again."

"So what do you think Goku did?"

"I'm not sure. Only Goku and Vegeta know. And neither of them are telling."

Yamcha sighed and wondered again how he had been pulled into this again. Sure, Vegeta was acting a little strange lately, but he always did when it neared the anniversary of Goku's death. The human was sure that it was a phase Vegeta would pass through, Bulma was just exaggerating it.

"You know he does this every year around this time, he'll calm down soon," Yamcha said with a shrug.

"No! He's never been this bad before! I just...I just don't know anymore. Maybe I'm the one going crazy..." Bulma said as she wiped a hand over her forehead.

"Look, you said he was in love with Goku, right? Well it's about to be exactly six years since Goku died. He's probably just thinking about it more. He'll be fine in a few days. Just give him some space," Yamcha said while giving the scientist a tight hug.

Bulma shook her head, refusing to believe it. She knew. She knew the surly Prince better than anyone. There was something wrong this time. It wasn't his usually moodiness. It was different. There was something...

"I don't think that's all. Something is going on with him. Something more than just mourning. I don't think just 'giving him space' will work this time. He needs help." Bulma said with an anxious look in her eyes.

"He's losing it. He's going to be out of control and we won't be able to stop him."

Yamcha stared at her in skepticism, wondering if she was really that worried. "I think you're reading too much into it, Bulma. Why don't you go take a nap or something and calm down? I'll watch over things around here."

"Okay... Maybe you're right." Giving him a quick kiss, she left to relax with a hot shower followed by a long nap.

Trying to shrug off the depressing mood Bulma had created, Yamcha reached for another beer.

'Between the two of them I might just go crazy myself...'

~*~*~*~*~

Eyes cracked opened slowly and blinked to clear themselves. Sitting up, Vegeta wondered why he hadn't been jolted awake by some mocking memory. He knew that he had been thinking about something. Something that probably involved Kakarot.

But what was it?

Shrugging it off as good luck that he didn't remember, he made his way to the shower. Now that he was finally back home he was eager to be clean again. Stepping inside he turned the water on as hot as it would go. Hot enough to scald any regular being. But just warm enough to keep the Saiyan's mind off other things.

As steam filled the room and made it hard to see through the glass partition, Vegeta was enjoying himself for the first time in so long. How long had it been? It all seemed like a dream to Vegeta. Just a bad dream that you had to see out to the end to put it in the past.

A simple dream that vanished with the waking. And it was time that Vegeta woke up.

But sometimes dreams have a funny way of haunting you.

Lathering the scented soap over his dark and marred skin, he thought he heard a faint noise. Stopping for a second to search for anything out of the norm, he decided he had just imagined it. He let the hot water pour over his regal features, comforted by the caressing flow.

There it was again.

A soft shuffling sound that could be mistaken as simply an echo from the water going down the drain.

Vegeta squinted his eyes to try to see through the thick steam that had collected in the large room. He could only see to about the middle of the room, but didn't feel anyone's presence in the room with him. Now alert and fully focused on finding the source of the noise, he only went through the motions of washing himself.

A low rustle, like fabric rubbing against itself.

"Who's there? Show yourself!" Vegeta barked as he shut off the water and stepped out. Quickly wrapping a towel around his waist, he stepped forward, ready to challenge anything that moved.

Soft footsteps could be heard crossing the room towards him. Confident footsteps. Cocky footsteps.

Growling in anger that someone would dare disturb his shower, Vegeta balanced himself in an attack position.

And that's when Goku's grinning face loomed out of the steam and right in front of Vegeta's face.

"It's not too hot in here for you, Vegeta, is it? I know you think you have thick skin that can take the heat, but you don't, do you?" Goku asked with a smirk.

Vegeta cursed under his breath and swung out to hit the mocking face, but it disappeared back into the steam before he could connect.

"This is exactly my point. Every little comment gets such a rise out of you," the voice mocked from another place in the room. "Does it get a rise out of you when I talk like this, too?" Goku asked in a sultry voice as he suddenly appeared behind Vegeta.

"Bastard! What do you want?!" Vegeta growled as he turned to swing another punch that was destined to miss its target.

"I already told you what I want. You should pay more attention to people when they talk, Vegeta. That's probably how you got the mistaken idea that I loved you. You didn't pay enough attention to see I wasn't gay like you," Goku snickered, once again in front of Vegeta.

"I'll fucking kill you!" Vegeta screamed in fury. All his thoughts came rushing back to him. All the pain. All the hurt. All the hate. "I don't care what was in the past! I'm going to kill you now!"

Goku grinned mischievously and crossed his arms. "More lies, Vegeta? You're lucky you didn't try to become an actor because I can see right through you. You still love me even though you try sooooo hard not to." He snickered again before retreating back in the steam and disappearing.

But only for the moment. Vegeta knew he'd be back. Not back to take Vegeta in his arms and comfort him. Only back to torment Vegeta. Like they all did. Nobody was ever there for Vegeta. Only Vegeta. Vegeta was the only one who could be trusted. But Vegeta lied even to himself. Vegeta couldn't be trusted. But there was no one else.

And that meant there was no one he could trust. They were all after him. Every single one of them. It was all a big plot. They wanted to get Vegeta.

But he wouldn't let them!

He'd do something. Something to stop them. There must be something he could do. What was it!? What was the something? He had to find it. Had to find the something. Where was it!? There was someone who had the answers. Kakarot. Kakarot had the answers! Kakarot was the ring leader of their little plot so he was the one who held the key to their destruction!

Vegeta would find Kakarot and find the something.

Yes. That was what he should do.

"Kakarot. Kakarot. Where are you hiding? I know you see, but you don't see me. You don't see me. See? I'm right here, but you don't see me. Because it's not you that's hiding. I'm hiding. But soon I won't be hiding. I'll be hunting. And you'll know then. Because I'll be hunting you. And then you'll see. Yes. You'll see then. Because the hiding will find the hunting. And then you'll see me because I'll let you see me.

"And you'll be sorry."

~*~*~*~*~

Having nothing else better to do, Yamcha had kept himself occupied by drinking. Bulma was asleep, the Briefs were out to dinner, and Vegeta was...well he was doing something. So without anyone to keep him in check, Yamcha had drunk enough to get more then a slight buzz.

Seeing Vegeta walk into the room with a small smile on his face, Yamcha held up a can of the drink and beckoned the Prince to sit down and join him.

"I don't have time for you. I'm going to find Kakarot."

"Find Kakarot? You can't find 'im. He's dead."

Vegeta halted on his way to the door and looked at Yamcha with a cold gaze. "What did you say?"

"He's dead, you can't find 'im," Yamcha said as he fumbled to open another beer.

Vegeta took a step towards the human and curled his hand into a fist. "Kakarot isn't dead. Not yet. I'm finding him. I'm going to kill him," the Saiyan said in a low tone.

"Whatever, Vegeeeta. He's dead right now because of you. It's your fault he din' come back," Yamcha said, not really realizing what he was saying. Or who he was saying it to.

Grabbing the human by the front of his shirt and lifting him out of the chair, Vegeta glared deep into Yamcha's glazed eyes. "What did you say? If you're trying to pull some kind of joke you will regret it," he said with a deadly tone in his voice.

"I know the truths. He told us. He din' come back because o' you," Yamcha said as he took another long swallow of his beer. "Said you creeped 'im out."

Shaking the drunken human hard, Vegeta pressed him for more information.

"Goku din' wanna be 'round creepy fags like you," Yamcha mumbled as held his head in effort to stop the room from spinning.

Vegeta dropped the human into the chair without ceremony and smirked.

"Kakarot isn't dead. But he will be. I'll kill him and bring him back here to show you. Then you'll see. Then you'll know. You'll all know."

Grabbing a can of beer for himself and swallowing it in one long gulp, Vegeta turned and walked out the door.

~*~*~*~*~

Flying through the sky as fast as he could, Vegeta was searching desperately for any sign of Kakarot. Although he couldn't feel the other Saiyan's ki, it was like Kakarot was calling to him.

"Come and find me, Vegeta. If you can. Find me because I'm waiting for you. I'm waiting right here. You just have to find me."

"I will find you, Kakarot! I will find you because I have to kill you. And if I can't kill you...

"If I can't kill you then...

"If I can't kill you then I will ask you to kill me.

"NO! I WILL kill him! There is no other alternative! Kill, Vegeta. Just kill."

And with that plan Vegeta resumed his never-ending search. He had to keep searching. To end it. End it all. This was the ending he was searching for. Not a fade to nothingness. An extravagant ending worthy of the name 'Saiyan.'

He would get his ending. And Kakarot would see it.

Kakarot would see.

And he would be proud.

And he would accept Vegeta.

And that would be good.