Welcome to DBZ Love Garden

To Each His Own

“Excuse me, everyone! Listen up! Me and Vegeta have something we would like to announce!” an overly excited and blushing Goku said loudly to the group of people congregated in the Capsule Corporation kitchen. Bulma, Gohan, Trunks, and Goten all turned to give the two Saiyans their full attention.

“Me and Vegeta...” Goku started.

“...have wild, dirty sex...” Vegeta interrupted.

“...are in love!” The other Saiyan finished with a mild glare at his partner.

“As in, love to have wild, dirty sex, each and every night. And sometimes in the afternoons too. Or mornings.” Vegeta added in, just to make sure everyone was clear on the situation.

The audience sat in silence at the kitchen table, allowing the words to sink in.

“Um, Goku? I think everyone already knew you two were in love. It’s kind of obvious when we hear you screaming Vegeta’s name at all hours of the day,” Bulma said slowly, trying to figure out if it was supposed to be a surprise to them.

“You mean you guys already knew?!” Goku asked, apparently in shock that somehow they had figured out that his screaming wasn’t because he was “training.”

“Yeah, Dad, I think all of the neighborhood knows by now. You two should really keep it down or something...” Goten said with a blush because thinking of your parents having sex is never cool even if it is with a really hot Prince.

“Well, now that the announcement time is over me and Kakarott shall leave now to practice our new techniques,” Vegeta said with a smirk and a wink.

A collective “ewww” was uttered by the crowd which of course only made the pervy Prince grin even more.

“Wait, Dad! You have to meet my new girlfriend first! She should be over any minute now!” Trunks piped in, anxious to stop thinking about his dad doing the wild thing with Goku.

“A girlfriend?! What’s wrong with Mini-Kakarott?” Vegeta asked, disgusted by the thought of his son being heterosexual.

“Dad! I’m not gay!” Trunks yelled a little too loudly and with a bright red blush spreading across his whole face. “I mean, uh, not that it’s a bad thing, or whatever...” he trailed off lamely as the two full-bloods stared at him.

Goten snickered and secretly began fantasizing about the other boy. Before Vegeta could come back with a retort on Trunks’ choice of haircuts in relation to his sexuality, the doorbell rang and the highly embarrassed demi-Saiyan rushed off to answer the door.


“He’s really not gay?” whispered Goku to his son.

Goten shrugged and whispered back, “No, he said we were “experimenting” and that it was normal for teenage boys.”

“Oh... Well I guess that makes sense,” Goku replied more to himself than anyone else. At that time, Trunks came back into the kitchen, his blush replaced by a triumphant smile.

“Okay, everyone, I want you to meet the love of my life,” he stopped to glance sickeningly sweetly at the girl attached to his arm, “Tracy!”

Tracy waved and smiled vapidly at everyone in the room.

“Hi, everyone! Trunksie-pie has told me so much about you all and the way you like to pretend to save the world! It’s just so cute how he comes up with these things teehee!”

Bulma clutched her stomach and doubled over in pain at witnessing such an embarrassment to the female gender. Gohan grimaced at the sound of someone actually saying “teehee” aloud. Goten began to wonder if this was what Trunks called experimenting too. Goku gave a huge smile back, glad that there was finally someone as happy as him in the world. Vegeta puked at the sight.

“What style do you practice?” Goku asked, oblivious to the puddle of Vegeta vomit he was now standing in.

“Oh! I read all the style magazines! Vogue, Cosmo, Seventeen!” Tracy answered back, excited to be able to talk about something she knew.

Goku looked back in a confused state, wondering if he had been missing out on secret techniques all these years.

“He meant what fighting style do you know,” Vegeta stated, wiping his mouth on Goku’s sleeve, who still was unaware that anything was amiss.

Tracy frowned and pursed her lips, “I try not to fight. Someone might get hurt!”

Vegeta would have fainted if he wasn’t so afraid of landing in last night’s dinner. “You’re dating someone who doesn’t even know how to fight? A weakling human?!” he asked in disproval.

“Dad! Tracy is a great girl! There’s more to life than just fighting!” Trunks said with a begging expression for Vegeta to drop the subject.

Instead the Prince began to shed tears of disgrace and grabbed Goku tightly in a comforting embrace, “I hope you know you’re breaking your father’s heart with those words!” he sobbed against Goku’s shirt.

“There, there, Vegeta, it’s okay. I’m sure that in another dimension you have a son to be proud of,” Goku said in a supportive way as he stroked his lover’s back.


“Geez, what a drama queen, now I know where Dad is in the relationship...” muttered Gohan to his younger brother. Goten looked confused for a second and then snickered as he finally caught on to the joke.

Vegeta’s head whipped up, glaring for a moment at the two chuckling Sons, and looked up to Goku with an excited and demented grin of euphoria on his face.

“That’s it, Kakarott! We’ll travel to another dimension to find a son who isn’t a disgrace to the Vegeta name! And then we’ll swap him out with this one and live happily ever after!” he said in that voice only people who don’t realize how crazy they are can achieve.

“Er, well I didn’t really...”

“Dad! How can you suggest that!”

“Why am I sensing nothing good will come of this?”

The Prince ignored all protests and disappeared into another room. Returning shortly, he produced a capsule from his pocket and held it up for everyone in the room to see.

“Observe!” he said proudly as he clicked the activation button and threw the capsule down. Thankfully everyone else in the room had the good sense to run for cover as soon as Vegeta opened his mouth and were not harmed when the capsule expanded into a time machine–unfortunately the kitchen roof was not so lucky since it’s an inanimate object.

“Thanks, Vegeta! Now I have the skylight I always wanted in my kitchen!” Bulma yelled at the crazed Saiyan.

“No time for thanks, woman, I’m on a mission! Kakarott, Trunks, into the machine!” He said with a dramatic wave of his arm to signal the start of a doomed adventure. However, instead of immediately all piling into the Time Machine upon Vegeta’s request, the two stared blankly at the older Saiyan.

“Dad, you know, the Time Machine was only built for one person to ride in...right?” Trunks asked slowly, shifting uncomfortably next to the girl he probably had no more chance with.

Sighing because no one understood his genius, Vegeta re-evaluated his plan.

“Alright, Kakarott, you stay here. Trunks, you come with me.”

“It’s only made for one person...” Trunks tried again, fervently wishing that he could make a wish to the dragon to make the horrible nightmare end.

“Nonsense, it will work!” Vegeta declared as he climbed into the bright yellow machine. “C’mon, boy, sit on your father’s lap just like the old times.”

Trunks began to weep tears of sorrow at the awkward situation that only seemed to get worse with each second he continued living.


“I’ll go if Trunks doesn’t want to!” Goku piped in cheerily, excited at the prospect of making a special journey in Vegeta’s lap. And also traveling through time.

The tell-tale vein began to bulge furiously on Vegeta’s forehead, silently cursing all who held back his most awesomest plan to date.

“Kakarott, NO. Trunks, IN!” He shouted, tired of playing games. The purple-haired demi gulped and hurriedly made his way into the Time Machine–opting to squeeze into the seat beside Vegeta rather than sitting in his lap.

“And we’re off!” Vegeta proclaimed in triumph as he shut the cover to the machine and punched in random coordinates. With a puff of smoke and the roar of engines, the machine disappeared high into the sky until it could no longer be see.

“I wonder if we’ll ever see them again...” Kakarott lamented, unsure of how sturdy his lover’s plan really was. However, as soon as the words had come forth from his mouth, the Time Machine suddenly landed back in the spot it had taken off from.

“Well that was fast!” Goten exclaimed, hoping that Vegeta had brought back a sexier and gayer Trunks.

“Maybe they got lost,” Gohan mused as he tried to pretend that he lead a normal life.

The top of the machine popped open, but instead of the dynamic duo that had left, only Trunks was inside. To be more precise, it was only Mirai Trunks inside.

“Mirai?! What are you doing back?!” Bulma exclaimed as she rushed over to hug the long-lost son she had always wished her Trunks had turned into.

“Hi, Mom,” he answered with a blush, “I just came back for a visit.” Scanning the assembled crowd his eyes settled on one particular person.

“Hello, Goku,” he purred, giving the older man an attempt at a sultry stare.

Goku blushed and tried to laugh off the boy from the future’s advances. “Uh, hi, Mirai, funny seeing you here...” he said uneasily, trying to back away from the lustful teen.

“I love how you pronounce my nickname, Goku,” Mirai said with a wink. Pulling away from Bulma who was still attached to him, he made his way over to Goku and wrapped an arm around the other man’s waist.

“I’ve missed you since I’ve been away. Thankfully due the miracles of time-travel it was only five minutes since I’ve seen you last even though it seemed like years to you.”

Not wanting to be ignored, Gohan chipped in, “Hey, Mirai! It’s so good to see you again! I wish you had come back sooner! Or just stayed! We all really love seeing you!” He wore a huge, cheesy grin and only stopped gushing because he was about to turn blue from lack of oxygen.

“Holy fuck, I’m in the middle of some freaky love tetrahedron!” Goten exclaimed in dismay, briefly wondering how he even knew what a tetrahedron was. “Vegeta, Trunks, come back soon!”


~*~*~*~*~

Meanwhile, elsewhere in the sands of time, the Time Machine carrying our two Saiyans touched down in the middle of a flowerbed next to an alternate Capsule Corporation. After a few minutes fighting of how they were supposed to get out after being squeezed together so long, they finally escaped the tiny seat. Surveying the area, Vegeta grunted in disapproval at the lack of a welcoming committee. Shrugging, he trudged towards the house, dragging Trunks along behind him.

Not bothering to knock on the door, they made themselves at home and came right into the kitchen where they were greeted by the sight of a boy about the age of 17, who looked oddly like Goku, yet had lilac hair.

“Who are you two?” the boy asked, looking up from his meal to glance at the intruders.

“Trunks, sweetie, who are you talking to?” a voice belonging to Bulma came floating in, followed quickly by its owner. The beautiful scientist came to a screeching halt as she saw the two strangers standing in her kitchen and let out a panicked scream.

Before her lungs could even run out of breath, Goku came rushing into the room. ‘What?! What is it?!” he asked in a rush, searching for the danger. Seeing the familiar face of Vegeta he instantly dropped into a fighting stance and powered up.

“What are you doing back here? I thought I had gotten rid of you for good, Vegeta!” Goku growled menacingly.

Very understandably confused, the Saiyan in question blinked several times at the strange sight before him.

“What the hell is going on here?” he asked in a daze, attempting to pick up the pieces of his blown mind.

Goku narrowed his eyes, trying to figure out why his arch-enemy wasn’t preparing for an attack.

“Why did you come back to Earth? I won’t let you hurt any more people!” Goku challenged him again, itching to pummel the intruder but still too nice to throw the first blow.

While the two full-blooded Saiyans were busying trying to figure out what the other one was doing, Trunks finally put the puzzle together.

“Oh my god! That’s me! And...Goku...is my father!” Trunks shrieked in horror at his alternate dimension twin.

Vegeta turned to his son in a mixture of horror and repulsion, totally ignoring the other Saiyan who was ready to kill him on the spot.

“You mean...!? KAKAROTT WAS SLEEPING WITH MY WOMAN!?!” Vegeta roared in anger, instantly powering up to Super Saiyan 4.

Goku looked at the two travelers in confusion, “Wait, what..?” he asked, only to be stopped short by Vegeta punching him through the wall.

“I’ll kill you, Kakarott! No one touches her but me!” Vegeta snarled as he started choking the helpless Goku to death.


“Dad, wait! You’re gay, remember!?” Trunks shouted, trying not to disrupt the whole space-time continuum of this dimension.

“Oh yeah...” Vegeta powered down out of his ascended state and let go of his rival. “Sorry about that, old habits die hard,” he said with a shrug.

The confused Goku could only look more confused as the two abruptly exited the kitchen and climbed back in the Time Machine.

“What a douche bag dimension,” Vegeta said condescendingly as he punched in more random coordinates.

Trunks just rolled his eyes and hoped that whatever dimension he got stuck in had a sane Vegeta in it.

~*~*~*~*~

Back in the dimension we all know and love, Mirai was busy trying to simultaneously avoid Gohan and get in Goku’s pants.

“But I’m in love with your father!” Goku protested as he tried to pry the relentless boy from his body unsuccessfully.

“Like father, like son!” Trunks exclaimed as he held on tighter.

“Oh, Mirai! I baked special cookies for you that have your name lovingly iced onto them!” Gohan called sweetly from another room as he searched for the fair-skinned boy.

“Ack! My love, danger approaches! He wants to tear us apart! But our love will conquer all and thwart his evil plans!” Mirai declared dramatically.

Goku grappled for his life, “Don’t thwart it! Let him tear us apart, please!”

“Oh, lover, you’re so cruel!” Trunks cried out as tears of love and determination flowed from his eyes.

~*~*~*~*~

After visiting several other dimensions wherein Trunks was the strange byproduct of Tien, Yamcha, Krillin, Roshii, Oolong, and somehow Piccolo, the two were at the end of their wits and what little sanity they had to begin with.

“Alright. This is it. The last chance,” Vegeta said haggardly, stumbling from the Time Machine in defeat.

Trunks said a little prayer of thanks as a light of hope finally shined into his life. Together they marched up to the door of Capsule Corporation, bracing themselves for the worst.

Cautiously opening the door, they saw no one inside, which was actually a rather nice alternative to walking in on Roshii and Bulma getting it on atop of the kitchen table.

“So far, so good...” Trunks muttered under his breath, every nerve on edge. Vegeta nodded and led them farther into the house. Creeping as quietly as they could they began searching for any signs of recent activity. Not being able to find anyone at all, they were about to call it quits while they were ahead and just leave. But as soon as they turned for the door, a noise could be heard echoing down the hallways of the huge building. The noise of two females giggling.

Looking at each other questioningly, the two snoopers came to a silent agreement to check it out. Following the noises, they came at last to the door of what should be the master bedroom. The door was slightly ajar, and they slowly opened it further, just wide enough to peek inside. The scene that met their eyes was both shocking and arousing to the two.

On a large, lavish bed, Bulma and ChiChi rolled nakedly around in utter enjoyment. The two females were pawing each other like badgers in heat, and didn’t really seem to notice the onlookers.

“Oh man, I’ve seen enough of my mom having sex for more lifetimes than I care to live out, let’s get out of here!” Trunks whispered sharply, turning from the scene.

Vegeta however, grabbed the other’s shirt as he walked away. “Hold on! This is just getting good!” he said with minimal drool running down his chin.

“What a pervert,” Trunks said in shame as he tried to pretend the moans coming from the room were not his mother’s. Vegeta giddily watched the show for several more moments before Trunks forcibly removed him from the doorway.

“Come on! Let’s just get back! This dimension is obviously a bust.”

Vegeta sighed in defeat and walked dejectedly away from the hot scene. “I guess you’re right. The Bulma in our dimension had bigger boobs anyway.”

Once again Trunks tried to wish it all away and just walked faster towards their traveling device. Climbing in for the last time, they set the right coordinates for home and blasted off.

~*~*~*~*~

“Goku! Goku~u!” Mirai called as he hunted down the frantic Saiyan.

“Mirai! Mira~ai!” Gohan called as he hunted down the horny demi.

“Sanity! Sani~ity!” Bulma called as she hunted down strong liquor.

Goten sat alone at the kitchen table, hoping that the other two Saiyans would return soon with his Trunks-to-be. Thankfully he didn’t have to wait long, because at that precise moment the Time Machine touched down–effectively flattening the other one parked in the kitchen. Looking up in anticipation, he was somewhat dismayed when it was the exact same Trunks who exited the machine with Vegeta.

“Where’s my new sex-slave?” Goten demanded, huffing in disappointment.

Vegeta shook his head and answered, “He was more of a fuck up in the other dimensions than this one. So we just came back.”

“Man, that’s pretty sad. You suck, Trunks,” Goten said with a frown.

Trunks glared at the two. “Thanks for the support.”

Attracted by the loud crash of the Time Machine reentering the building and the grinding of metal as it landed on Mirai’s, the rest of the gang that had previously witnessed Vegeta and Trunks’ departure came back in to see what they had returned with.

“Vegeta! I’m so happy to see you!” Goku exclaimed through tears of joy as he finally had someone to protect him from the hormone-driven Mirai.

Tracy, who had actually been in the room with Goten all along, but was told to sit down and shut up or die, also had the chance to finally talk.

“Trunksie-pie! You came back from wherever you went!” She said with a bubble-headed smile. Trunks smiled at her and immediately imagined her naked to make up for all the mental trauma he had been through that day.

As all the joyous reunions were occurring, Mirai strode into the room wondering what the buzz was about. Scanning the occupants of the room, his eyes came to rest on his twin.

“Who is that sexy beast?!” he asked with a gasp, closing the distance between himself and himself.

“Wha? Who?” Trunks asked as he was faced with the first semi-normal copy of himself all day.

Mirai tore Tracy from Trunks’ arm and flung her across the room. “Hello, stranger, I’ve lost my number, can I have your’s?” He asked seductively, eyeing his alternate self from top to bottom.

“Um, uh, er...” Trunks replied masterfully.

“Shh... We’ll have time for talk later. Now let us away to a beautiful place called Orgasm Land,” Mirai said as he grabbed Trunks’ shirt and began dragging him off towards a bedroom.

All the others in the room looked after the leaving pair in stunned silence.

“Now that’s just wrong,” Vegeta said, voicing everyone’s opinion.

“Does this mean we’re going to have a three-some?” Tracy asked with a giggle.

Eyebrows twitching in irritation, both Gohan and Goten simultaneously blasted her to death before running after their respective crushes.

“Wait for me! I want to go to Orgasm Land too!” they shouted in desperation.

Bulma looked over at Goku and Vegeta and took another swig of her alcoholic concoction.

“Was there an opening in one of those other dimensions for a sexy scientist because this one is definitely tore up.”

The two remaining Saiyans sighed wearily and went off to search for the Dragon Balls and make the pain go away.

The End!