Welcome to Boxer & Rice

~I would tell you about the things they put me through
The pain I've been subjected to...
But the Lord himself would blush.~

I shouldn't have asked. I didn't want to know! Not like this-Papa, please...!

"Ahhhhhh!"

"Does it hurt, boy?" Kami...when...when did his voice become so low, so filled with hate and loathing? It makes me nauseous...Kami, I'm going to throw up...

"You shouldn't have pushed me..." The bindings...around my wrists--they hurt. The thick metallic of copper and bittersweet musk of fear, sweat--it clogs my nose. I can't breathe...Kami...

~The countless feasts laid at my feet,
Forbidden fruits for me to eat...
But I think your pulse would start to rush.~

*Snap* A scream. Kami...my voice. Yes, it's me responding to the crack of the whip, my body that arches away from the crimson stained leather. But the strips around my wrists that snake down my forearm hold me, restrain me, keep me...a lover's embrace of agony and absolution. It's my fault...I pushed him. I made him show me.

~Now I'm not looking for absolution,
Forgiveness for the things I do...~

It's so quiet now...where is he? I can't see....not through the scarlet veil that he's drawn down over my blurred vision. Oh...fuck...the click of his boots, the echo off the steel walls...it's closer now, than it was...where is he...no...not again...Papa...

~I'm not looking for a clearer conscience,
Peace of mind after what I've been through...~

"Onegai!"

"Yessss...I loved it when they begged me..." Hot breath on my ear...hissing words what sliver up my spine, irritating the tiny hairs on my skin to prickle with his touch. Kami, the whip...sliding over my bare abdomen, his powerful arm wrapping around my torso, teasing my hypersensitive flesh to burn, my teeth to gnash in lancing pain.

I've screamed too much, my throat can't handle another...Papa, no!

*Crack!* Oh, fuck...my chin slaps against my chest as my entire body gives into his irrational rage. The leather slices into my limbs as my weight drags me down, and I hang there like a child's rag doll, limp and groaning incoherently, pleading, apologizing...

Onegai, Papa...don't...gomen...nas--

~And before we talk of any repentance-- ~

"No!" Papa? What have I done to upset you? No, not the knife, not aga--

"You will NOT be this weak!" Oh, Kami...it hurts to breathe, to open my eyes...wait, I can't. It's swollen shut, where he punched me, when I first asked him...

~Before you come to any conclusions...~

"You wanted to know--you insisted!" I can hear the madness in his voice, boisterous insanity that mingles with the natural cruelness of his tone. He's going to kill me, I just know it. And all because I was curious about his past. I've never felt more like a cat before in my life. Too bad all my lives were spent in a reckless youth...I'll never question him again...If I live...

~Try walking in my shoes~


Song: Walking in my Shoes by Depeche Mode