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Vegeta paced up and down the bow of the Bulma, his prized pirate ship. Vegeta was a pirate and he was bloody good at his job, so good that he was often called the king of pirates. This was supported by his surrogate sons.

Vegeta was currently headed towards Port Nappa to kidnap the King’s daughter, Mary Anne. Why was he pacing you ask? Well, there was this little detail of who would kidnap her. His sons were still arguing over that fact and it had almost escalated to the point of fist fighting. They weren’t fighting over who got to go either, they were arguing over who should stay behind.

“I don’t want to go! I told Father I didn’t want any part of this kidnapping business and I meant it. She’s to be your bride, you go!” Goten yelled at his older brother. This whole scheme had been thought up by their father but Goten saw no point in risking his neck for a bride he wouldn’t get.

“But you’re less suspicious than I am, I stand out more in a crowd! I wear an eye patch for Kami’s sake, do you want me to scream pirate while I’m at it?” Gohan practically roared.

The two were glaring at each other and you could practically see the sparks fly. They were about to duel for it when Vegeta walked over and stood between them. “Move out of the way old man!” Goten yelled. He was generally less respectful to Vegeta because he was the one getting caught up in all the hair brained schemes.

Vegeta narrowed his eyes and wapped him over the head with the butt of his sword. “Ouch!” Goten fell to his knees holding his head. “Whaddya do that for you crazy old coot?!” Vegeta smacked him again. Gohan started laughing until Vegeta smacked him in the side of the head not with the butt of the sword though.

Gohan rubbed his ear and then bowed. “Sorry Father, I didn’t mean to laugh. It’s just that he acts like such a little girl.” He was grinning but it was obvious that Goten was not amused. He launched himself at Gohan and would have tackled him had Vegeta not grabbed the back of his pants. He fell to the ground with an ‘oof’ and a smacking sound. Gohan just laughed harder and Goten kept trying to get his hands around his brother’s neck.

“If I get my hands on you Gohan you’ll regret this!”

Vegeta growled. “Shut up!” They stopped quarreling and looked up at their dad, both looking a bit scared. He wasn’t called the king of pirates for nothing; he could make the bravest soul quiver with fear. “You two are a disgrace! Fighting over something so trivial! You’re both acting like sissies and shaming our good name. We may be pirates but we have our dignity. Understand?” They nodded quietly, looking like whipped dogs.

“Now, Goten, you will retrieve the princess because your brother does have a point. He looks a lot more suspicious than you do since he has more scars and an eye patch. However Gohan, you will wait at the dock with the boat to ferry them back. I want you to row, only you, when he comes back because he’ll be tired from carrying the princess. Now, Goten, you know what to do, correct?”

Goten simply nodded.

“Good, then there shouldn’t be a problem. We’re almost to port so get ready.” The two scurried off in opposite directions to get ready and Vegeta sighed, rubbing his temples as he walked to his cabin. He sat down at his desk and a few minutes later he heard a knock on the door and a soft, “Vegeta?”

Vegeta smiled gently. “Come in Goku.”

Goku opened the door and smiled, walking in and locking it behind him. He walked over behind Vegeta and began rubbing his shoulders gently as Vegeta was looking over some maps. “Looking for the fastest route away from Port Nappa?” He asked, kissing Vegeta’s forehead gently and running his fingers through the thick hair.

Vegeta nodded, relaxing into Goku’s touch. He let his eyes slide closed as Goku’s fingers returned to his shoulders and just enjoyed his fingers pressing against his somewhat tense muscles. “Do you think I was too hard on them?” he asked as his eyes slid open to allow him to stare at the ceiling.

“Not at all, I think you handled the situation quite well, though they did seem more scared than usual.” The younger man commented, moving up to massage Vegeta’s scalp. He knew the older man needed this every time after he yelled at his sons. It killed Vegeta to do it but they did require discipline.

Vegeta just chuckled. “Intimidating them is great fun. Of course, they can be so childish sometimes; even Gohan still sticks his tongue out at Goten. And, of course, Goten is more aggressive than Gohan so he’s always chasing him around for the stupidest thing. They were going to duel to see who would go kidnap the princess, such bakas. The most sensible person to go would be Goten but I can also see Goten’s side. After all, I wouldn’t want to get caught by the royal guards kidnapping a princess so they could be someone else’s bride.”

Goku nodded. “I do see his point.” He slid the edges of Vegeta’s shirt off his shoulders and massaged down his arms. “You’re too tense, you need a stress reliever.”

Vegeta reached up and took Goku’s face, kissing him gently. “You’re all the stress reliever I need.” He brought Goku around and sat him up on the desk, kissing him lightly on the lips and nibbling down his neck.

*And I have to be mean now but you guys know what happens*

***

Meanwhile……

Gohan threw a shoe at Goten which hit him in the side of the head. “Yowch! Why’d ya do that?” he yelled.

Gohan stuck his tongue out. “You told me to find your stupid shoe so I found it.” He went back to looking for clothes and Goten was about to tackle him when Bardock walked in. He was tapping his foot and Goten rubbed the back of his neck before diving into a pile of clothes to hide. Bardock was the first mate and, to them at least, he was scarier than their dad.

“What’s going on here? I thought your father told you to get ready.” Bardock looked rather angry, but then again, he always looked that way.

Gohan looked around for a place to hide but saw none, since his little brother had already taken the clothing pile. He rubbed the back of his neck. “We were getting ready, we were just um, looking for clothes that fit and will make us blend in.”

“Psh. The two of you will blend in like peacocks blend in with pigeons. We’ll be alright as long as Goten doesn’t get into a fight with someone.” Bardock said, walking over to the clothes piling and fishing in for Goten. He pulled him out by his foot, hanging the young man upside down. He was grinning nervously when Bardock dropped him on his head.

“Owch! Why must everyone hurt my head?! Dad hit me twice with his sword, Gohan threw a shoe at me, and now you DROPPED ME ON MY HEAD!!” he screamed. It was obvious he was mad but it remained to be seen if he would actually attack Bardock. He had done so in the past with less than fruitful results.

Goten seemed content to just sit and steam, glaring up at Bardock, who was smirking. That sort of scared Gohan. “Everyone keeps pounding your head because we’re trying to knock some sense into that thick skull.” He grabbed Goten and gave him a huge noogie, with was more than slightly painful.

“Get offa me!” He tried to shove Bardock off but the larger man wouldn’t have it, just rubbing his head harder. “Come on man, I gotta get ready!”

Bardock seemed to consider this and then dropped Goten, who, of course, landed on his head. Goten was not pleased. He righted himself and then grumbled while looking for clothes. Bardock bonked Gohan on the head and then walked out of the room, leaving both boys to fume angrily at this embarrassment.

***

A Few Hours Later

As the call was sent out that they were at Port Nappa, Vegeta and Goku came out of Vegeta’s cabin. Goku’s legs were a bit wobbly and both of them were disheveled so the entire crew knew what was up. They were murmuring about Vegeta’s stress therapy which he seemed to enjoy quite a bit.

Everyone went quiet when Vegeta narrowed his eyes and looked around. He sighed and then looked at Bardock. “Where are the boys?”

Bardock shrugged. “Probably still getting ready. I checked on them a little while ago and they were fighting over something stupid, Gohan threw a shoe at him or something of the sort. I wouldn’t be surprised if they had killed each other, or at least if Goten had killed Gohan.” he said thoughtfully and looking slightly amused.

Vegeta just sighed again. “Hold your ears gentlemen.” The crew all clapped their hands over their ears, especially Goku who was right next to Vegeta. “BOYS!!!!”

Several minutes later the two young men came scrambling from below deck, highly disheveled and obviously trying to straighten themselves. Vegeta was sure they had been fighting again since Gohan was rubbing his shoulder. His eyes were still narrowed. “We’re here.”

The two boys looked out over the water and then back at each other, gulping and then nodding determinedly. “Shall we go now father?” Gohan asked. The King merely nodded.

“Alright! Let’s go Gohan!” Goten said, dragging his brother to one of the life boats and tossing him in. He saluted to his father and Goku before jumping in and starting to row, promptly forcing Gohan to do it instead.

Vegeta just shook his head and sighed. “If those two don’t kill each other we’ll be alright, though I doubt that will actually happen.” He turned and walked back into his cabin, shutting the door behind him.

***

A few hours later

Goten was busy sneaking around the castle, trying to find the princess’s chambers before it got too dark. He had managed to get himself hired as a cook and snuck away the first chance he could.

Of course, he didn’t know that the king had somehow found out about their plan and replaced his daughter with a servant that bore a striking resemblance. The servant also had a voice that would make it hard to tell whether he was a male or female.

Goten found the princess’s quarters about an hour later and knocked on the door.

“Who is it?” called a voice from inside. Goten assumed it to be that of the princess.

“I’m one of the new servants; I brought you some dinner at your father’s request.”

“Enter.” The voice called again.

Goten quickly entered the room and saw ‘the princess’ sitting with her back to him. She was staring out the window at the ocean, the breeze pushing her hair around. She turned around and as she pushed her hair back from her face Goten found that she had the most stunning eyes.

He reached into his pocket and clasped the gag he had there. “Sorry Princess but I have to do this.”

***

About fifteen minutes later, back at the dock

Goten jumped into the boat, a sack over his shoulder containing Mary Anne. He gently put it down in the boat. “Get us back to the ship.”

Gohan mumbled something along the lines of that he thought he was the older brother, not the other way around but began rowing nonetheless. They were soon back on the ship and Vegeta was demanding to see that they had captured Mary Anne.

Goten cut the rope he used to tie the bag shut and then pushed the sack down, showing Vegeta Mary Anne’s frightened and tear stained, but ever lovely, face. Goten wiped the tears away and then untied the gag. “Sorry darlin’, couldn’t let you make any noise.” He then untied her hands and feet.

She immediately used her hands to cover her face and try to rub away her tears of fright. “What do you want with me? Ransom?” she asked, rubbing at her face. She was in a beautiful baby blue dress that was now terribly rumpled.

Gohan seemed overcome. “Wow, she’s so beautiful!” He just smiled and couldn’t stop looking at her, which was apparently making her uncomfortable.

“Actually my dear, it’s not money we’re after, but a bride for my elder son.” Vegeta had his arms crossed as he was looking at her.

Goku walked over to her and gave her a huge hug, which it seemed she needed. Something he noticed, but he wasn’t going to mention, was the lack of breasts. He couldn’t feel any at all as he hugged her but it was possible she simply had a small chest. He patted her on the head and shushed her as she cried on him.

She sniffed. “What if I don’t want to marry him?” she asked a bit defiantly. Of course, right afterwards she continued sobbing into Goku’s chest. He hadn’t exactly been for the whole idea of kidnapping someone just to marry Gohan.

Vegeta shrugged his shoulders. “If you want to live then you have no choice.”

Mary Anne’s eyes were large and she clenched Goku more tightly as he seemed the only source of comfort here.

Goten stepped forward. “Father, shouldn’t we give her time to adjust? There’s no need to rush, after all, you know the strain that being a pirate’s wife can put on a woman. Especially a woman that’s only known us for about thirty minutes and the man she’s supposed to marry helped kidnap her.” He pointed out.

“Goten’s right Vegeta.” Goku piped up, still trying to console the frightened young girl.

Vegeta growled. “Fine, we’ll hold the wedding off until we reach the Isle of Bura. She has four days to get used to the fact that she’s going to marry a pirate, like it or not.” He turned away and then disappeared into his quarters.