Welcome to Boxer & Rice

As all fairy tales must, this fairy tale starts in a beautiful kingdom far, far away from civilization, which is probably why everybody is so insane. The King of this kingdom, and his wife but she didn’t really do much, had just given birth to a beautiful child. The child was so beautiful the king decided he would name his child: Beauty. His wife argued that perhaps since the child ‘was’ a boy a more appropriate name should be picked but he had her thrown in the dungeon for three days for such insolence.

Beauty grew to be a handsome young man and on his sixteenth birthday the King threw a ball. He invited all the good fairies and or witches, some were both, in the area to come and bless his child, of course, they agreed but only for the free food. There was one person.. he didn’t invite. It was nothing personal really. It’s just several years earlier this particular witch had tried to destroy the world. So the King decided it wouldn't be appropriate to invite him. The witch's name was Cell and when he discovered that he wasn't being invited to the ball he was furious.

Cell plotted and decided that he too would ‘bless’ the child. So he formatted a disguise,pink tutu, blond hair wig, so that he could sneak into the ball and ‘bless’ Beauty.

The night of the ball all was going well, except for the fact that Prince Beauty was bored out of his skull and King Vegeta was quickly growing weary of all the pretty girls fawning over him. “Time to bless Beauty!” The King yelled suddenly, getting to his feet and pushing Beauty before him towards the fairies.

The fairies and/or witches, came forward one by one. Each touching the Prince gently on the head and blessing him. One particularly ugly fairy waddled over and peered at the Prince. He tilted his head this way and that but did not speak or bless.

“Well,” King Vegeta said irritably, “Bless him already damn you woman!”

Master Roshi snorted, “Do I look like a woman?” He promptly ripped his shirt off and proudly displayed his flat chest. “Now… lesse…” He tapped Beauty on the nose as King Vegeta turned green.

“I bless you, young prince, with a pretty face.” Master Roshi smiled, “Not that your face isn't pretty already… say, are you attached?” He winked.

Prince Beauty choked and stepped back quickly, “Uh..”

“And!” Master Roshi added with a wicked smile, “I also give you a nice voice.” He leaned forward and whispered, “With a nice voice you can seduce anyone you want. Trust me.. it’s useful.”

Prince Beauty stared hard at the strange fairy. “Erm… excuse me… aren't fairies supposed to be female?” He asked quite suddenly in his new ‘nice’ voice.”

Master Roshi blushed, “Er… well… I was.. but, I got sick of it.”

Prince Beauty’s eyes bugged out of his head as he started to choke again.

“Yes, yes, whatever. Go go!” King Vegeta urged, pushing eagerly at the not-so-pretty fairy's arm.

Master Roshi shrugged and headed straight for the buffet table, immediately he was flirting with the other fairies who were still oblivious to the fact he was male.

The next fairy stepped forward. “I am fairy Krillin.” Krillin announced, playing with his little fairy wings. He studied the Prince with a critical eye. “Well, you’re beautiful already and you’re built.” His eyes wandered down the Prince’s body, “So, I will give you supreme blasting power!”

“YOU CAN’T DO THAT!” The fairy who was next in line bellowed, rushing forward. “How DARE you! That was supposed to be MY blessing on the child! Do you know how LONG I agonized over this!!!”

Krillin stuck his nose in the air, “Well Piccolo, we’ll just both have to give him blasting power then.”

Piccolo growled, baring his teeth. “I don’t think you two are fairies at all.” Prince Beauty declared softly.

Two sets of innocent eyes fixed themselves on him. “We both bless you with supreme blasting power.” They said together before hurrying away.

Time passed quickly and it was time for the last fairy to come forward. King Vegeta stared at the blonde fairy suspiciously, “Do I know you?” He demanded.

The fairy, who was Cell in disguise, smiled and shook her head. “Oh, no,” She declared in a hideous voice.

“Gads, woman! Don’t speak! Just bless the boy and get out of here!” King Vegeta yelled.

Cell shrugged, ‘If you insist.’ He thought with an evil smirk. He reached out and touched Prince Beauty’s forehead. “Since your father has not invited me to his party after that beautiful night we shared together so many years ago I curse you Prince Beauty. May you sleep forever! MWAHAHAHAHA!”

Immediately Prince Beauty fell to the ground, unconscious. “Hey, wait! I didn’t invite you!” King Vegeta bellowed, drawing his sword, “Wake my son now you vile creature!”

Cell just laughed, ripping off his wig. “Even if I could I wouldn't!” He cried before flying off.

“I’ll get him!” One of the guards yelled, “KA ME HA ME HA!”

A burst of energy flew from the guards hands and struck Cell down. “WWAAAAAHHHH!!!” Cell came barreling out of the sky. He landed in the center of the ballroom. Almost before he hit the hard floor hundreds of fairies were on top of him, kicking, punching, screaming in anger.

“That was quite some move.” King Vegeta stepped over his fallen son and walked over to the guard, “What is your name, servant?”

“No, my name isn't servant.” The guard rubbed the back of his neck with a shy smile, “My name is Goku.”

“Goku, eh..” King Vegeta said thoughtfully, “I've been looking for someone strong to be my King… would you marry me?”

Goku laughed nervously, “H-hey! I just met you! Besides, don’t you have a Queen already?”

“Bah! I beheaded her three weeks ago for being stupid. So? I can give you immeasurable wealth.”

“Immeasurable?” Goku repeated with a little frown, “Is that even a word?”

“OF COURSE IT IS!” King Vegeta bellowed. His temper was quick to fall however, “Say you’ll marry me and I’ll give you anything you want!”

“Erm… I've kinda got a craving for cheesecake.” Goku admitted.

“It’s yours if you marry me!”

“Well… okay.” Goku grinned. King Vegeta grabbed his hand and started to drag Goku out of the room but he was intercepted by the fairies, Krillin, Piccolo, and Master Roshi.

“King! We have managed to find a stipulation in Cell’s curse.” Krillin announced with a proud smile.

“Yes, if one day a handsome prince finds Beauty and kisses him your son will awaken!” Piccolo put his hands on his hips and smiled also.

“Great, good, out of my way.” King Vegeta said impatiently.

“But, there was one tiny loophole.” Master Roshi told the King sheepishly, “You see, in order to do that we had to-” But the King had already fallen to the floor, fast asleep. “Make everyone else sleep so that the Prince wouldn't be lonely when he woke up.”

“Well, look on the bright side. Now all the food is ours.” Piccolo rubbed his hands together with an evil smile.

Master Roshi just laughed, “YEAH!”

The three ran to the buffet table. In the center of the great hall a big fairy pile was lying on top of Cell. The Prince still lay on the steps where he had fallen and somehow King Vegeta had managed to fall on top of the poor guard Goku. The two, when looked at from a certain angle, appeared to be in quite a compromising situation.