Welcome to DBZ Love Garden

In the many, many, many long years since Vegeta-sei was destroyed by the evil Tyrant Freiza, the customs of the Saiyan race were lost. All the knowledge that existed in the world was that of the Prince, who had been a very, very young child when he was taken from his world.

Naturally, being such an innocent thing, nobody had informed this child of the ways the moon could affect a Saiyan's libido and mating instinct.
As far as the Prince knew, the moon was insignificant. That it affected only the ability to attain transformation. But, without a tail, there was no transformation and whatever passing effects the moon might have had were dismissed with a sniff of a regal nose and a sneer.

Fool.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***

Goku woke up with a grimace and pressed a hand to his stomach; it felt...weird. Not sick exactly, but his stomach felt really heavy and kind of painful. He rubbed the heal of his hand across his tummy and tried to imagine why it was that he could have a stomach ache in the middle of the night. After all, he hadn't eaten anything weird. Six supreme pizzas to get his servings of vegetables, a couple of chickens (he didn't like chicken, it was girly meat) and half a sheet-cake. (It had been Goten's birthday, after all. So he left that second half for his son.) That wasn't an unusual meal. But now he was starting to think that maybe he shouldn't have eaten the rice too. It might have been overkill for his poor tummy.

And it wasn't until after he flipped the covers off--heard Chichi snore with a disinterested sort of disapproval--and moved his legs that he realized it wasn't his stomach that was hurting so badly. He stared down at the moonlight as it drifted in through the window, all pleasant and nice--seemingly--and as it reached his skin, it made his flesh tingle and heat up and he blushed mightily as he looked between his legs.

(Obviously he had seen an erection--his erection at least--before, he did have two kids after all and those didn't just fall out of the sky--although he had fallen out of the sky so that was a common misconception and people needed to stop making fun of him for it. Anyway, he had seen an erection before, but DAMN.)

It wasn't his stomach that hurt, it seemed, but his nether region that was demanding rather loudly--and painfully--that it would very much like to be taken care of, if that wasn't too much to ask. Thanks.
So he managed to get out of bed--rather carefully, because it did hurt quite a lot--and crept across the floor. Felt like a huge idiot as he hunched over and inched along in his little sleeping shorts. (Remember all those pants he tore up fighting people? They were now sleeping shorts.)

When he finally made it to the door, he stopped the tip-toeing nonsense. (Chichi did not a happy woman make when you woke her up before she was ready to be awake.) He padded down the hallway, down the stairs and without really stopping to consider just what the hell it was he was doing, he opened the front door and was blasted full on with that moonlight that made him all tingly and warm and his nether parts were virtually dancing for joy about this new development.
Thusly taken over by instinct, he left the door open, and took off into the air. Flying directly toward the moon.

~~~***

Vegeta, his highness, was woken up in the middle of the night by a rather insistent erection that demanded the attention of the body to which it was attached. He kicked off the covers, (once again he had pissed the woman off and was sleeping on the couch) and the moonlight that strained in through the windows made his skin darken, heat up and it tingled. Insanely tingled, and his erection did a happy little jolt of pleasure, and coaxed him to his feet.

(Why he was listening to a part of his body that in fact did not think he did not know, but for now he was willing to just go along with what it seemed to want.)

He crossed the floor with his socked feet, opened the front door, and shivered in the full force of the moonlight. (Shivered in the chilly air that smashed into his shirtless little body, and made his erection think twice about this apparent plan to go outside into that air.)
Vegeta stepped up into the air and flew away without closing his front door. (Which was stupid because he did have a toddler floating around his house, and he should turn around and close the door, but his erection gave a throb and reasserted its control of the situation.)

So he floated in the moonlight, headed toward it and thought pleasant thoughts about...well, he wasn't sure what he was thinking about other than it would be really nice if he had some sort of person lying around ready and willing to allow him to sate this erection so he could go back to being the one in charge. It was a pain to be subservient to only one part of your body after all.

And he really should learn to be careful what you wish for, because who else did he meet, out in the middle of an empty stretch of land directly under the moonlight, but a mostly naked Kakarot sporting an equally insistent erection. (Not that Kakarot's erection really had to work very hard to take charge of that brain.) Just before his feet landed, he wanted to cross his arms over his chest and demand--in a haughty 'I'm better than you' type voice--just what Kakarot was doing there. But his erection gave him a disapproving twinge of pain and told him to keep his Kamidamned mouth shut, they both knew who was in charge here.
So Vegeta didn't say anything, stood in front of Kakarot and wondered just what it was that he (and his bossy erection) were doing here.

He tilted his head back, looked up at the moon, felt his whole body alive with those tingles until all his skin had flushed out with excitement and even the barest movement of the wind was making him shudder like an animal in heat. He sighed--that too made his body shudder with excitement--and looked back at Kakarot.

Who...was...
Dancing.

Looked just about as confused as Vegeta was amused by this. In fact, he thought he should be laughing his ass off at the idiot who was looking at his arms--which were waving back and forth in the air while he had his feet a good space apart and was twisting.

But, his erection stubbornly told him to look at his own arms. And...

WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT?!

The Prince of Saiyans was dancing like a moron too. Dancing with his hands all up in the air, flapping back and forth while he jutted his hips all over the place (this pleased his erection immensely) and all that was really missing was the hooting. Because he felt--deep, deep down he felt this and hated the instinct as soon as he felt the first 'hoot' in his throat--and that a good 'hoot hoot' was in order. And that is what came out of his mouth.

Monkey noises.

Kakarot smirked. Then he hooted in response. But he didn't stop dancing. In fact, his dancing started to be less about the arms in the air flailing about like uselessly pieces of string caught in an updraft and became much more about his hips. He was going downward with his dancing, crouching and looking confused about that as well.

Meanwhile Vegeta remained standing, leaned forward though. Hooted very authoritatively.

(Just to let everyone know whose boss here.) And the dancing continued, until he was all slick with sweat and shining in the moonlight that was now making every inch of his skin burn with the need to be touched, and his erection was pulsing with his heart beat (mocking him, he was sure.)

Of course, as soon as Vegeta thought the situation got less embarrassing, Goku went back to standing up, hooted louder than him--verged on a scream, really--and toppled him to the ground.

And didn't that just make his erection so happy he thought he would die right there. The big idiot bared his teeth, hooted real low in his throat and set about ripping his pants off--Vegeta's, not the idiot's. When that task was done, he looked mildly confused with just what he was supposed to be doing next and then figured out--probably do to his own erection's bossiness--that he needed to be naked as well. So, he ripped off his own pants.

Smirked happily.

And would you believe that Vegeta was still doing his little idiot dance even though he was on his back, and (for whatever reason he did not know) he shoved Kakarot onto his back and pressed one of his knees into the ground on either side of the idiot's hips so he could flail his arms about more, hoot like an idiot and jerk his hips against the hardness jutting up proudly.

If he died tonight so that nobody need ever know about this, he would be one happy Saiyan.

~~~***
Dancing was fun.

Odd.

Slightly alarming that just one little part of him seemed to be doing all the thinking, but then everyone said he had a little brain, and if that was true than his erection was bigger than his brain and he should think with it more often so everyone would leave him alone about his little brain.

Anyway.

Vegeta dancing was especially nice. Definitely when he shoved him back onto his back and Vegeta danced above him like that, and looked so very pretty in the moonlight (that moonlight was driving Goku to distraction) and he enjoyed this slow for a few precious minutes, got sick of it, and brought Vegeta down so he could grind against him better. Not that this deterred the arm-wagging thing.

The grinding thing was okay. His erection stopped aching so badly he thought he would die from it, but it wasn't as satisfying as making babies had been. So he let his nether parts do the thinking for a few minutes (poor thing was busy after all) and it came up with a brilliant idea! So he grabbed Vegeta by the hips, pushed him back under him, pinned him to the ground and wrapped his mouth around his hardness. (Spent a moment wonder just how his erection thought this was going to help him have sex.) And after only a few moments of sucking on him (that was a rather interesting nice taste, he didn't know why Chichi bitched so much) he was rewarded. (That part was rather disgusting.) But his erection (the moonlight and his instincts) told him how to use that there 'reward' and get to the 'baby-making without the baby' part of the evening.

And when that was accomplished (and he had some serious questions for his erection when he was finish here about just why the hell he had put his fingers where he had with what was on them on them and all that nice...stuff) he picked Vegeta up again--still dancing and hooting, mind you--turned him over--just so he would stop flailing his arms really--and then pushed into him.

Oh that was good.

But he had the feeling that if that moonlight from the full moon wasn't showering Vegeta with the lovely tingling feeling that he might end up in a fistfight instead of getting the sex he wanted, and since his body was much bigger, he wrapped his arms around the Prince and pulled him up so he was sitting on him. (Sort of, they were kind of at an angle.) Then he proceeded to put all his careful preparation to good use as he thrust into the heat of Vegeta's slim body.

The hooting (finally) changed to strained little groans. The arms (unfortunately) still waved in the air, but not for long, they soaked up the moonlight, his skin flushed out again, and those flailing arms dropped down to Vegeta's erection and wrapped his hand around it.
Not that he cared, because his main concern was that his erection had finally escaped from the cold of the open air and into the searing heat of Vegeta's body. His shoulders and back were tingling from the moonlight and he kept one hand on Vegeta's chest as he thrust into him and drove his body up and down against him, and dropped the other down, wrapped around one of the strong thighs and pulled it open farther, heard his own little whimper as he tried to move faster and Vegeta rolled his head against his shoulder as he thrust into his own hand and clenched his body all around Goku.

He felt Vegeta's breath against his neck as he pressed his bared teeth against Vegeta's shoulder, his mouth watered--which he found freaking odd--but his erection (from within Vegeta) gave him a pained little throb and he opened his mouth, pressed his teeth to skin, and as he tipped over the edge into the oblivion of climax he bit through the skin and drew blood.

Felt something rip into his throat--just the outer skin--and whimpered as he released inside of Vegeta. (Was so happy that no babies were coming from this, because that would really suck.)

~~~***

He wiggled his toes--why he had no idea--just before he opened his eyes and looked down to see that the only damn thing he was wearing was a pair of socks. Everything else was...not...there. And he sat straight up, turned and looked at the big idiot sleeping happily (and NAKEDLY) next to him. Turned back to his own feet (thought that was odd) then looked down at his placid nether parts and GLARED for all he was worth.

Stupid ass erection thinking that it should do the thinking! AS IF! Look what mess it had gotten them into! (Although his nether parts pointed out rather sleepily that he had not gotten into anything, really.)

Kakarot yawned, sat up and blinked happily. Scratched the bite on his neck and looked like an idiot. Then all of sudden he jumped back and screeched.

"DANCING!" he shouted.

Vegeta felt his eyes go huge and jumped to his feet, stalked over to Kakarot and stabbed his chest with his finger.

"DON'T. TELL. ANYONE."

Then he frowned, crossed his arms over his own chest and tried to figure out a way out of his mess without having to let anyone know what had happened the night before.

"Wait, 'Geta. Do you mean don't tell anyone about the dancing or don't tell anyone about any of it?"

"Any of it," he snapped, then remembered the idiot had that IT thing he could do. And said: "Take us back to my room."

"But 'Geta, I don't know where your room is."

"Then take us back to the Capsule house. Just not where anyone will see us."

Then he had to move closer and actually touch the bastard to get swept up in that technique. When they reappeared, they were standing behind the bar in the kitchen, looking at his son and his wife who were just sitting down to eat as they said:

"I wonder where Ve...?"

"Uh...Dad?"

"DADDY!" that was Bra, but luckily, Bulma still moved faster than the toddler and snatched her up before she could get behind the bar and see the naked people.

She screamed though. "I WANT DADDY!"

"No, you don't," Trunks said, took his sister from his Mom and disappeared as fast as his demi-Saiyan legs could carry him.

Vegeta punched Kakarot. "WHAT DID I SAY?!"

"Well how was I supposed to know there would be people in the kitchen!?" Kakarot shouted back. "Besides, this is the only part of this building I know about!"

"I'm taking a shower!" Vegeta shouted and stormed away. (That damn woman had seen him naked so she would just have to deal with his nakedness, dammit.)

"GO HOME Kakarot, and REMEMBER what I said!"

"Sure thing, 'Geta!" Then the idiot disappeared again. And there were a few seconds of sheer silence, and then he heard Bulma start screaming. Took the steps three at a time, managed to make it to the bathroom before she did and slammed the door, locked it and smirked at it when he heard her start pounding on it.

No way would anyone ever, ever, ever know about what happened yesternight.


*hangs head* Okay, to explain where the hell this one came from: I was watching that remake of 'Planet of the Apes' (with Mark Wahlberg) and there is that one scene where the orangutan lady is dancing on the bed hooting and whatnot when people run through the room and she's like 'AHHH!' But before the interruption the two apes were looking mighty...er... 'hooty.' So I was like, hm, what would happen if...
Wah-lah. Don't kill me please.

Goku: Nobody but them anyway.
Vegeta: They must die.
Goku: Ah, Geta. Don't kill them.
Vegeta: What about her? *points at Card*
Goku: Okay. Sure. But... 'Geta, if we kill her think of all the sex we won't be having.
Vegeta: Someone else will start writing about it. Without hooting. Or dancing.