Welcome to DBZ Love Garden

► 01 Hormone Therapy     02 Hormone Therapy     03 Hormone Therapy     04 Hormone Therapy     05 Hormone Therapy     06 Hormone Therapy     07 Hormone Therapy     08 Hormone Therapy     09 Hormone Therapy     10 Hormone Therapy     11 Hormone Therapy     12 Hormone Therapy     13 Hormone Therapy     14 Hormone Therapy     15 Hormone Therapy     16 Hormone Therapy Bulma often worked on projects that she never really had any intention of finishing. It was just a way to keep her busy so she didn't kill the neurotic Saiyan that lived in her house. After listening to hours upon hours of "I am the Prince of All Saiyans" and "Don't mock the great Vegeta" she was just about sick of him. A few involuntarily blood samples later – she shocked the Prince into complete paralysis by jumping into his shower with him one day – she was dissecting his genetics and figure out a way to make him pregnant. Odd, she realized, considering in order for him to get pregnant he would need to undergo a reverse hysterectomy – that is to say, someone would need to donate a uterus to him – but she was not deterred. Nothing was impossible. Hormone therapy was curing all the ills of the world, so it would certainly – eventually – allow Vegeta to grow an uterus. What exactly she would do with the Prince of all Saiyans once he had one, she had no idea. But that wasn't really exactly the study was it?
If she had to listen to him prostrate on how great he was, how powerful he was and how Goku was a third-class idiot, she was going to pound him into the ground, and he wouldn't have to worry about defeating Goku.

After nearly six months of toiling over the magic uterus-growing potion, she trudged into her kitchen with a – clearly marked beaker full – of the mixture, and in a huff set it on the counter. Exhaustion drove her from there to her bed, and she slept for many hours, only to wake up and find that the beaker was empty.

What sort of idiot drinks a beaker that says DO NOT DRINK?
How could one person be that stupid?

And a part of her giggled and hoped that it was Vegeta that did it, because it would be hilarious to find him trying to figure out what the hell was happening. In fact, it would be downright sidesplitting. But, she did not know if he had done it, and she didn't know the side effects, so she just heaved a great sigh, and returned to her lab to try and figure out a way to synthesize more of the liquid.
~~~***
Vegeta was starting to think that maybe he ate something he shouldn't have. Or maybe it was the five hours of sparing with Kakarot that made him feel sick. The man had a way of beating the blunt facts into Vegeta. He wasn't stronger, but he was getting stronger. The Prince had stormed into the kitchen blindly – dirt and blood were crusted in his eyes – and picked up what he thought was his glass from that morning, found that he had left water in it, being too angry to really care that the water was old, he had swallowed it all in one gulp.
That was four hours ago. And his stomach was seizing. His chest hurt like someone had punched through him and he had the distinct feeling that his hair was growing longer – not in the Super Saiyan good way. All these things were more than a little unnerving. In fact, he didn't like any of it.

So he stumbled down the stairs, yelled for the woman. She appeared, in a haze that was sort of psychedelic purple, and he crossed his eyes, trying to focus on just one of her. She was speaking but it sounded like the teachers on Charlie Brown. No language he would ever understand. Then she put her hands on her hips, and he knew that whatever he was experiencing was entirely her fault, and entirely irreversible. The purple swirled, changed to orange, and he was now looking at what – to him anyway – seemed like a giant talking pumpkin.

Something smacked him, and he reeled, because the pumpkin before him had grown slimy tentacles and was waving them all in the air and screeching like a bat. He tried to laugh, but he had the hunch that gravity was being inverted around him. He felt upside down. Something was against his back, and when he turned around, he was face to face with a giant wall. Orange faded to blue, and he looked over his shoulder as the pumpkin became and eggplant and the tentacles all pointed at the giant wall.

Vegeta stepped back, felt gravity give way again, and passed out.
~~~***
Goku crouched and looked at the odd look on Vegeta's unconscious face, and the drool that was slipping down his chin.
"What happened to Vegeta?" he asked.

Bulma huffed, put her hands on her hips again. "I think he drank something I was working on."

"He looks green."

"Of course he looks green!" Bulma said. "I don't know about you Saiyans, you're always getting into things you don't belong in. All I did was leave the beaker for five minutes and the idiot drank it."

"What did he drink?" Goku asked. He poked Vegeta and watched the unconscious man swat at the annoyance.

"A synthetic hormone. Goku, could you pick him up and carry him to my lab? I need to see what he's done to himself."

Goku nodded, scooped up the prince and followed after Bulma.

"Why are you here anyway, Goku?"

"Oh, Chichi went home to visit her father, and I was hungry." He laid Vegeta on a lab table and moved back, scratched the back of his head and smiled.

Bulma pulled out a needle, braced herself as Goku screeched and flew back. He hovered at the exit as she shook her head and took a blood sample from the sleeping Prince. Once the needle was out of sight, Goku inched forward again.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Trying to extract the gender identifying genetic material from this sample of blood."

She looked over her shoulder at Goku, who was just standing there, blinking. For such a large person, his brain had to be slightly smaller than average. "I want to see if my mix worked. If it did, Vegeta might have become part- female."

"Oh."

Almost half an hour later, Goku was stretching and exercising – it had only taken him five minutes to eat everything in her kitchen – and Bulma sighed, pushed away from the console.

"Well, good news and bad news," she said. "The potion worked exactly like I thought it would."

"So what's the bad news?" Goku asked.

"Vegeta's a girl – well, he's part female anyway. He's able to get pregnant. But he won't have mammary glands or anything like that."

"What's that?" Goku asked.

"Boobs," Bulma explained. "He can get pregnant but he doesn't have boobs."
~~~***
Vegeta was waking up gradually. His head was pounding like a jackhammer. His hips ached horribly, and he had the distinct feeling that someone was staring at him. All his senses were deadened, and he tried to move but found that he couldn't. That unnerving feeling of having too many people around him was back, and as he struggled to move, he caught vague noises. First something that sounded like Kakarot, and then, in crystal clear perception:

"Vegeta's a girl."

WHAT?! Vegeta tried to shove himself up, to demand what the stupid woman had done to him, but his muscles barely even twitched. He could hear Kakarot saying something, and he seethed to think that overgrown idiot was listening to whatever drabble that woman was spouting.

Then: "Boobs. He can get pregnant but he doesn't have boobs."

WHAT?!?! This time Vegeta did sit up, but he couldn't do anything more than that. His eyesight started to return, he could see blurry bulbous shapes, one looked blue and one looked orange. Great. The Baka was still here. Vegeta blinked away most of the blurriness and demanded:

"What?!"

Bulma sighed. Then she started bitching: "What did you think you were doing drinking that potion? It said very clearly not to drink it! Why would you do that Vegeta?"

"I am not a woman!" he snapped.

"If you don't want to believe me then see for yourself."

"What is that supposed to mean, woman?"

Bulma met his angry stare and pointedly dropped her gaze to his crotch. "See," she repeated, "For yourself."

So Vegeta got up, ignored the wobbling in his legs, the pain in his hips, and stormed off to the bathroom. Upon lifting the waist band of his pants he found that he was still a male, but just to be absolutely sure, he used his hand to examine everything. Yep. Good. And then, he touched something that didn't seem exactly normal. His finger slid into an opening to his body that had not been there before.
And he exploded in rage. How dare that arrogant woman even think to do something like this to him. He was the Prince of All Saiyans, he was the Great Vegeta. Entire races had bowed before him and begged for his mercy!

It was just about then that Kakarot opened the door and shouted – in a childlike, gleeful voice – "Hey, Vegeta! You're Super Saiyan!"

That failed to make Vegeta happy. He yanked his hand back out of his pants, storm passed the man and into Bulma's lab. Growled at her.

"Fix it!" he shouted. "Right now!"

Bulma was trying very hard not to laugh at him, and she shook her head and swallowed the giggles. "I can't."

"What do you mean you CAN'T?!"

"I mean, it took me six months to do this. I can't just fix it like that."
Kakarot was sniffing the air around him. "Do you guys smell something?"

Vegeta's eyes widened impossible as he sniffed the air and realized to his great dismay that it was him that Kakarot was sniffing for. The giant baka moved, sniffing, until he traced the smell right back to Vegeta, then he looked at the Prince oddly and sniffed the air again. Vegeta spared a moment to feel a fear that had previously never gripped him so tightly, and then took off, flying out of the building and into the open air, trying to outrun the Saiyan he was sure would be following him. But, of course, Kakarot had learned instant transmission, and he appeared right in front of Vegeta's hurried escape.

"I don't think you should be out here, Vegeta. Bulma said the potion probably has side-effects."

The baka said the words, but he was sniffing the air again, moving closer to Vegeta with every twitch of his nose until he was practically a part of Vegeta. Then he grinned at the Prince with half-lidded eyes.

"You smell really good, Vegeta."

It was just about then that the world went a brilliant shade of green. Kakarot started to take on the look of a stalk of asparagus, and Vegeta screamed, because he was losing his grip on reality at the same time the only other living Saiyan was responding to an available prospective mate. Vegeta tried to move back, but the asparagus stalk before him moved with him, dipped its pointed head and then pain blossomed on Vegeta's shoulder, made him yelp – the world turned pink, bright, stars and hearts exploded in Vegeta's vision, and he had a few moments of clarity before he lost consciousness again.
 

Gk: haha! You're the girl in this one!
Vegeta: Transcendentalism, man. *looking groovy, feeling groovy*
Gk: Hey! Why didn't I get to get high?
Vegeta: It's all goo. Free love, man! Asparagus for everyone!
Gk: And what about Chichi?
Author: Died in transit?
Gk: Huh?
Vegeta: She is just a tiny part of the universe, man, what hill of beans will amount to...? Two crazy bobcats in...? Rosebud? ► 01 Hormone Therapy     02 Hormone Therapy     03 Hormone Therapy     04 Hormone Therapy     05 Hormone Therapy     06 Hormone Therapy     07 Hormone Therapy     08 Hormone Therapy     09 Hormone Therapy     10 Hormone Therapy     11 Hormone Therapy     12 Hormone Therapy     13 Hormone Therapy     14 Hormone Therapy     15 Hormone Therapy     16 Hormone Therapy