“How do you cool your lips after a summer’s kiss?
How do you rid the sweat after the body bliss?
How do you turn your eyes from the romantic glare?
How do you block the sound of a voice you’d know anywhere?”
Life can be pretty interesting. One day, things are just fine – the world is as it should be and everything is normal. Next thing you know, the rug has been pulled out from under your feet, and you fall flat on you butt looking up at the shattering pieces of your life, and the gods of your fate (who at the time choose to be invisible) are laughing their heads off at you. Happened to me a few times actually and I can count them off one by one:
1) Mirai Trunks’ arrival and departure.
2) The Cell Games – Android Saga in particular.
3) The Saiyan Saga.
4) Meeting, dating and breaking up with Videl, and running into Crystal (known to everyone else as ‘She whose name will never be spoken in public, or Trunks will kill you.’ Chibi can be funny that way.)
I don’t know…it feels like that song:
It’s the end of the world as we know it,
It’s the end of the world as we know it,
It’s the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.
It’s true though. As I lay on my bed and think it all over. I just ended my relationship with my last ‘girlfriend’ Lisa. She was great, and we had fun – but I didn’t feel about her ‘that’ way, and she needed to get these creeps off her back. We didn’t feel like spending our weekends in front of our T.V’s either, so we were like “Hey, want to do something? Hang out? I can grope you in public to keep those guys away until someone worthwhile comes along.”
So we were just good friends posing as more until we could find other people. We had a blast though. Can’t say I regret any of it, even though part of me wished it lasted longer, but I can’t blame the girl for being able to find love just because I can’t seem to. So I’m happy for her, and wish her all the best. It’s always the same though…I try to date, but it never seems to last – making me wonder if trying to fall in love is completely hopeless. Maybe I should just lay back and wait for it to strike me again like lightning. Can you be struck a third time?
Interesting question…However, the only good thing about staying on the dating scene is that it keeps my mom off my back. Yes, ‘the iron clad bitch’ herself. I love her – she’s my mother, but….UGH!!! She and my father are from two different worlds – and I am not talking that Mars and Venus stuff either. My mom is human and my father is a Saiyan. You think she would start to get it after a while that Saiyans and humans are not quite the same.
But she hasn’t, so I have to go though all these games that I don’t always have the patience to play. Going out, dating, and bringing home girls I don’t really care that much about just to keep my mom placated. To tell you the truth, I am tired of it. I’ve tried to be what she wants me to be and to tell you the truth, it ain’t working. However, just like it brings the bad, life can also bring the good. Only a few days ago the best thing in the world happened – or the worst thing, depending on your view point. Mirai Trunks came back. Apparently, something interesting…er, bad, must have happened between them because we found him asleep in the cockpit with the time machine on auto drive. He had a backpack on his lap and there was a note from Bulma-san to her past self and Vegeta, pretty much telling them that he needed a place to stay…for good. Their world didn’t really need him, and it was only a matter of time before people started putting two and two together and then he would be as feared and hated as the androids. Also, being the only non-full human on the planet wasn’t good for him. So we were to keep him – absolutely no arguments. And there was a note for Trunks in the backpack.
“So…” Said Goten a bit curiously. “This is the Mirai Trunks we’ve been hearing about.”
“Uh-huh.” I answered.
“You’re going to be hot when you grow up Trunks.” Goten said jokingly to his best friend.
“Thanks a lot.” Muttered Chibi, taking that as an insult to his current looks – either that or as an insult to his maturity. Although…for a nineteen year old, Chibi wasn’t THAT unattractive, but Mirai was definately more attractive. Of course, Mirai was also like…what, early thirties?
“Well, we better take him back to the house.” I said, trying to clear my head of all these confusing thoughts. I was happy to see Mirai – it had been a long, long time since we’d last seen each other. At least, it felt that way. Besides, Bulma and Vegeta hadn’t seen their surprise yet.
Chibi capsulized the time machine and carried the note from Bulma-san, while I carried Mirai into the house. For some odd reason, I felt like I was a groom carrying his bride over the threshold. That was utterly ridiculous and funny, but kind of embarrassing too…I mean, did I actually think THAT way about Mirai?
“Gohan? Why are you blushing like that?” Of course, Goten can always be counted on during embarrassing moments like this.
“Nothing Goten. This just looks weird, that’s all.”
“What’s going on?” Came Vegeta’s voice from the dining room. We simply carried Mirai into the room and with a bit of irreverent ceremony, handed him to Vegeta.
“Congratulations, it’s a boy.” I told him.
“WHAT THE HELL?” Vegeta spurted, doing an impression of a human fountain. You really shouldn’t disturb people with information like that when they are eating, but the results were funny nonetheless.
“MIRAI?” Screeched Bulma. She ran over to us. “I don’t believe it.”
“There’s also a note.” Said Chibi.
“And personal belongings.” Said Goten, holding up the backpack.
“He’s planning to stay a while, is he?” Asked Vegeta.
“Pretty much.” Answered Goten, then as a joke pretended to ‘read’ the note out loud. “Please take care of our darling baby boy, as we can no longer care for him. Here are his belongings, his name is Mirai Trunks.
P.S. This is your son, Vegeta. Take GOOD care of him, or I will come back from the dead if need be and kick your ass clear across the universe, all through Other World and back.”
We all looked at him. “That part is actually in the note.” Said Goten. And he was right, it was. After that, it told Vegeta that she loved him and hoped to see him soon.
“So he’s staying for good then?” Asked Bulma curiously.
“If we want him to. He just can’t go back to his own time.” Replied Chibi. “Something about him being veiwed a threat to the world he saved.”
“Well, of course he can stay here.” Said Bulma.
“I’ll clean out my room.” Muttered Chibi. Goten touched his arm and stopped him. They seemed to be having some form of unspoken communication going on between them but by the end, Chibi was smiling. It made me smile too, seeing the friendship these two shared and knowing that Mirai used to do the same to me. No matter what I was feeling, he could always make me feel better. We were good friends…still are, we just don’t get to write or talk much but I thought we could pick up where we left off.
How do you numb your skin after the warmest touch?
How do you slow your blood after the body rush?
How do you free your soul after you’ve found a friend?
How do you teach your heart it’s a crime to fall in love again?”
The last couple of weeks haven’t been too bad. It’s great having Mirai around again. We spend some time together, and even talk of the old days. It’s like he never left. But he does have other responsibilites now – he’s helping out at Capsule Corp and he did meet up with a nice girl named Sarah. Only thing that bothers me is that she is Crystal’s cousin, but then again Crystal is the black sheep of that family, so we are probably still good.
I met Crystal after I broke things off with Videl – not that I didn’t care for Videl, I did, but…to actually marry her would be cruel. I loved Videl I guess, but it wasn’t THAT kind of love – you know, the bells ringing, singing birds, walking down the aisle, type of love. IN love…marriage love. I didn’t have that, and trying to marry her would have been unfair to her and our families. Probably to me too. So when she had that car accident and lost some of her memory, I didn’t help rekindle the fact that we were practically engaged. Mom never forgave me for that either – she wanted us to get married and raise a family. Actually, my mom planned and executed about 75 percent of my life from age 1-17, so I shouldn’t have really been surprised. However, I still feel like I did the right thing and if I wasn’t so concerned that she would take everything out on my Dad and Goten, I would’ve moved out years ago. Although part of me blames Mom for how I MET Crystal, the rest of it was my fault. Crystal…now there is an interesting story.
I loved Videl and cared about her, but with Crystal there was no love. Just…pheromones and the like. There was a lot of fun though, and at the time that was what I THOUGHT I needed. Crystal uncaged a beast I never knew I had in me. I had one of my infamous blow-ups with Mom the day after Videl was released from the hospital. I visited Videl every day and we were still good friends, but we decided the day before that we were better friends than boyfriend and girlfriend, so we mutually let the relationship go. Mom was NOT happy when she found out. I simply pointed out that we did the right thing for us, and that it wasn’t working out. She yelled at me for shirking in ‘my duty’. I am still not sure what EXACTLY she meant by that…either way, we had a HUGE fight and I stormed out of the house. To make a long story short…I met Crystal at a night club. A few dances, a few drinks, and we hit it off. I spent three weeks with her, after which I took her to meet Mom – who of course was less then pleased to met Crystal, who was practically the opposite of Videl. I packed my things and left with Crystal. I was tired of the bitch’s crap. That was the day the things Crystal told me began to make sense. I went to wilder parties with her, and she taught me many things. Although we never actually had sex, I learned more about foreplay from Crystal and her friends then I knew ever existed. Through the haze of pleasure and drugs, I felt a form of freedom that I never knew was possible. I wasn’t held back by ‘the iron clad bitch’ anymore, and I felt free to do whatever I wanted.
I am not proud of the things I did in the months following. I didn’t even know how much I was tearing up my dad and my brother. If I was hurting Mom, I couldn’t care less. However, what I DIDN’T know was that Crystal was getting tired of waiting for me. So one day she mixed some Viagra into my food, trying to see if she could get me to have sex with her. But when I still wouldn’t respond to HER, she got the idea that I was gay – got disgusted and left me still full of drugs, little food and viagra mixed together, and as helpless as the average untrained human in one of the worst streets in Tokyo.
I am still foggy about all the details of those eleven months I was gone, but I do know that I will love Chibi till the day I die for coming and finding me – same with Piccolo. Apparently Goten was getting really upset and worried about me, and getting tired of me being the reason that Goten was crying, Chibi found Piccolo and they went searching for me. If it wasn’t for them…I don’t even want to THINK about what would have happened. The only good thing about it was…well…I THOUGHT I was free. With her, with the drugs…the pressures, the cares, my mom…they were all gone like they didn’t exist. I could do whatever I wanted and feel free. Crystal taught me things I never knew about sex and the like, but we never actually made love – because there was no love. It was drugs, hormones, high spirits, whatever, but not love. Never that. But it’s behind me now. I’m back to normal now. No longer hurting the people who love me and care about me. Goten isn’t crying himself to sleep anymore. Dad isn’t worried. Mom… well, she is still a bitch and a cunt, and a harpy, but she doesn’t screech at Dad and Goten anymore. I make sure I am the only one that gets it – they haven’t done anything to deserve it – but I stay so that I’M the target of her anger and aggressions. The deal is she can do this as long as Dad and Goten aren’t around for the explosions. Therefore, Goten had more father and son outings when he was young than I did, but then again, I was around 10 when dad left. And Goten didn’t know Dad for the first eight years of his life, so I guess it all evens out.
The funny part of the story is that Videl has always been door number two in my love life. There was someone before her. Someone that I loved a long time ago. Of course, I never told this someone at the time – heck, I didn’t even realize what it was until it was too late to say anything. Sometimes I think it is better that I didn’t. I would rather not lose what I have with that person. The question is, how do you tell someone you love them? What if they never love you back? And that I suppose leads us to the million zenni question. How do you keep yourself safe from getting hurt again? Is it even possible? Well, I can think of at least one person to ask.
***
“Well brat, to what do we owe this visit?” Asks Vegeta. “One that you bother knocking on the door for, that is.”
‘Busted.’ I think to myself. Okay, so some people do know what I have been sneaking off doing the last few months. Concealing my ki as much as I possibly can, I use the spare GR that Bulma put on the property so no-one knows I am there or else, are too busy to notice that I am there.
“I was wondering if you would be interested in a spar, that’s all.”
I could tell that he was starting to be intrigued, but was keeping it back.
“What makes you thing I’m interested?” He asks me.
I answered with a smirk on my face, probably something that he didn’t expect from the ‘spawn of a third class warrior.’ “I’m a challenge.” I answer.
“No, you’re not.” Vegeta retorts.
“You sure about that?” I ask. I can see deep in Vegeta’s eyes that he is amused, correctly guessing that I am choosing to act like a Saiyan and not a human. I can see that he is considering that I deserve a chance just for this achievement.
“Does the harpy know where you are?” Vegeta asks me. Some kind of test I am guessing, so I gave him a straight answer.
“Do I really give a shit?” I ask.
This brings a smile of amusement from him. He likes my answer, and gives a nod. “Alright.” Vegeta answers. “But you better be worth my time brat.”
‘Oh don’t worry Vegeta, I will be. I have a request for you.’
Oh, I really should have known by the time you drove me home
By the vagueness in your eyes, your casual good-byes,
By the chill in your embrace, the expression on your face…
Three hours later…
“Had enough brat?”Vegeta asks.
“You first, old man.” I answer back.
“OLD?” Repeats Vegeta in shock. “I can hardly be on my home planet, boy.”
“But we aren’t on your planet, are we?” I retort back. That took nerve on my part I guess, but the results were worth it. He started taking me seriously again. And I wasn’t even using mystic – okay, okay, I cheated by using the energies of mystic to keep my SS form going as long as I want. Learned the trick awhile ago, but Vegeta didn’t know that. “How about we make this interesting?” I ask.
“Oh? How do you plan to do that?” Is Vegeta’s answer.
“I win and you concede to a request I have.”
“Really? And if I win?” Vegeta asks.
“Who says you are going to?” I answer, then shrug. “We’ll figure that out at the end.”
“Alright then.” Agrees Vegeta, “Now let’s see what you can REALLY do.” He goes SS 2. I follow his lead.
(a/n: I am bad at battles, so let’s just make this easier on my brain and fast forward, okay?)
After another hour or so the fight is over, and Vegeta admits that I’ve won.
“Alright you win, what do you want to ask me?”
“You mentioned sometime ago that it was fruitless to be sentimental in times of battle.” I begin.
He looks at me curiously. “What’s your point, brat?”
“Teach me.” I answer. “Teach me how to keep my emotions from inhibiting me and not to wear my heart on my sleeve, so that I’m not hindered at inopportune moments.”
The look on his face is absolutely priceless. “Nani?” He asks bewildered, probably wondering if he heard me right.
“You heard me right.” I answer. “I anxiously await your instructions, oh great Yoda.”
That told me you might have some advice to give on how to be insensitive”
Vegeta gives me a look that shows half amusement and half like he’s attempting to keep someone of questionable sanity placated. Considering his opinion of my parents, I wouldn’t be surprised if he thinks I AM insane. After a few moments consideration, he gives me an answer. “Fine brat, I’ll teach you what I know.”
***
It’s been two weeks now, since I asked Vegeta for his advice. Right now, the four of us and Mirai’s girlfriend Sarah are at a night club. I take another glass of whatever the heck it is the waiter keeps pouring into my glass. You have to admit Chibi sure knows how to pick out a night club. I feel more at ease watching Mirai and the others dance right now.
“Hey Gohan. Are you okay?” It’s Goten, I wonder what he wants.
“Yeah, I’m fine little bro. What’s up?”
“You haven’t really been yourself recently, that’s all.” Goten tells me.
“What do you mean?”
“Are you and Mirai fighting or something?”
“No, we’ve always been like you and Trunks.” We used to be anyway.
“That’s what worries me.” Goten answers.
“Huh?”
“We’ve argued before and it will be days before he feels like apologizing. He hates it when I’m right sometimes – which is the reason…” He nods knowingly to me.
“The reason why you always follow him around like a puppy who has found it’s master?” ‘That and always do what he wants to do, and do frightening impersonations of Dad.’ I add mentally.
“I don’t want to lose him, Gohan. He’s my best friend.”
“I know what that’s like.” I answer and drink some more out of my glass.
“Is that why you distanced yourself from Mirai a little? So he doesn’t think you’re smothering him and are jealous of…” He gives a nod to the lady in question.
“Yep.” I answer and take another drink. “She seems okay and he’s really happy with her. I mean – he is a great guy, he deserves to find happiness. Especially after all the shit he’s been put through. If he finds it with her, may they have all the best.” I give a slight salute to the couple on the floor with my glass.
“How many of those have you had?” Asks Goten.
“What?” I ask. Goten looks at my glass curiously,so I give him a drink out of it.
“Gohan, how many of these have you had?” Goten asks again.
I really have no idea. “Not sure.” I answer. “Haven’t really kept count. Why?”
“This is pretty strong.” Goten answers.
“Goten…” I don’t need another mother. Really, he should know that with the mother we have.
Goten sighs and gives me the glass back. “Gohan?”
“Is this going to be about what I am drinking again?”
“No.”
“Go ahead then.”
“You and Mirai haven’t had a fight, have you?”
“No.”
“So, you are still on good terms?”
“I thought we discussed this. I’m giving him space.”
“So you aren’t upset at him for leaving then.”
“Don’t be ridiculous Goten.”
“Am I?”
“He had to go back. Our time was saved but his was still getting trashed by the androids. His mom was back living in that hell hole for crying out loud.”
“You have a point. So you weren’t mad, huh? Did you…you know, miss him?”
Everyday. “Yeah I guess so, but you know, he was back where he belonged. I’m where I belong so things went okay, I guess.”
Goten gave me one of those looks that says he knows you’re trying to pull one over. Oh well, like I care. The waiter refills my glass. “So you wouldn’t care if he say…went back home.”
“He’s going to have to make a little extra space in that machine.” I answer.
“What?”
“He’d take Sarah with him if he goes – at least I think he would. Why would he ever leave her in the dust? He actually loves her.” I roll my eyes and go for my glass which I find is covered by Goten’s hand.
“What did you say?” Goten asks.
“I said that Mirai loves Sarah and I didn’t think that if he went back he’d leave her behind.” I repeated.
“No, you didn’t.” Goten answers.
“More or less.” I answer. “Goten – your hand.”
“I know where it is. Talk to me…what’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Why?”
“Gohan.” Somehow he manages to stress it without seeming to.
“Look, nothing is wrong. Mirai is back – we’re still friends. He’s dating Sarah and he’s happy. What is the problem here?”
“Why have you been having all those spars with Vegeta?”
“I’m bored.”
“You could ask us.”
“Didn’t think anyone else would be interested, that’s all. Besides, you three are usually busy and Dad is away right now.” For some reason, Goten is still covering my glass with his hand. “Can I have my drink please?”
“Not until you answer me one more question.”
“Okay.”
“Why have you been acting so strange?”
“What kind of question is that Goten?” I ask. “I haven’t been acting strange.”
“Gohan.” I take advantage of the moment to reclaim my drink and finish it off. Goten shakes his head. “What is it then?” He continued. “You haven’t been yourself for a while.”
“What do you mean? I’m here – I haven’t taken up with Crystal again, Goten. I’ve kept that promise. I’ve been working, and staying out of Mom’s way. Standing back, losing Mirai to people he’d probably rather spend time with than me. Because heaven only knows I probably only remind him of the past…Cell, androids, etc, etc…” Goten is looking at me strangely. “Goten? Are you okay?” He’s just giving me the oddest look.
“You really missed him, didn’t you?”
“Yeah, I did.”
“You really think he’d think that way about you?”
“I’m not really sure Goten.”
“Is that why you spend all that time around Vegeta?”
“Yes.”
“So you aren’t just sparring. He’s teaching you something, isn’t he?”
“Yeah, Goten, he is.”
“What is he teaching you?”
“He’s teaching me what I should have known in the first place to protect myself from things like this.”
“And that is?” Goten asked.
“How to be insensitive.” I answer back.
“Okay, but why would you want to learn that?”
“Because,” I answer softly. “it’s killing me to love Mirai the way I do, and not knowing if he’ll love me back or hate me for it.” I look at Goten. “I don’t want to lose ‘my Trunks’ either.” Goten doesn’t say anything and hugs me tightly – the look he gives me is one of understanding.
I’m sorry Mirai, but my heart and soul have always been yours whether you want them or not…
Oh, you probably won’t remember me, it’s probably ancient history
I’m one of the chosen few who went ahead and fell for you
I’m out of vogue, I’m out of touch, I fell too fast, I feel too much
I thought that you might have some advice to give on how to be insensitive
