Welcome to DBZ Love Garden

He is coming for me.

I know this with a kind of certainty that makes fear irrelevant. Fear is only for those who have the slightest possibility of survival. I know that I have none.

I have brought this upon myself, and this time there is no escape. Strange, now that I think about it...he has always been the one to come to my aid. The only one, besides my son. Now I can truly say that my life is over.

Why did I do it, you ask? It...is difficult to explain. When he...said that to me...something broke.

We are the last. Have been ever since that last battle so many years ago.

Chikyuu...it draws evil to it like a moth to the flame. My son gave his life to save yours, and in the end died in vain. You and I, we were the victors...if you can count a victory after so much pain and loss. My mate and yours have long since passed, along with your friends and even your eldest son. The Namek did not last long after that.

So it was down to the two of us. A meager existence of training and sparring, knowing I would never overcome you. So many years.

Then, you had to go and say that. What did you expect me to do? Weep for joy? Because of you, I will never be the strongest. Our...MY race is gone and I will never take my rightful place. My son...My son was too much like those humans that raised you. And because of your influence, he, the last of my blood, is gone. Anger...anger was my answer to your words.

...because I knew there was something else, as well. Something I would rather die than even acknowledge its existence.

So I beat you. It was so simple, really. You did not even try to stop me. I think you expected it...

And damned myself, I STILL could not bring myself to kill you. You were helpless at my feet. But the way you LOOKED at me...no hatred or anger. Just an immense pain and sadness...

So I took it out on someone else. Someone who would look at me with fear and hatred. Someone I could control.

I killed them all. Not that there were that many. Your descendants were few and far between, but I could sense them. The same way I can sense your approach. That damned technique of yours. Of course, it's mine now, too, but you will eventually catch me.

I suppose I should fear that. You are no longer as you once were. You changed and it was my doing. That WAS frightening. I have never seen such a pure rage as when you discovered what I had done. In my mind's eye, I can still feel Chikyuu as it shook with the sheer power of your fury. This is what you kept inside you...what I have tried to achieve all these years...but once I saw it, the change, I knew the true power of our race.

And it does scare me. You did not even try to pursue me as I fled in panic, because we both knew there was no place I could hide. Chikyuu...the air boiled before even half of your fury was released, I am sure of it. I fled long before you destroyed that which you had so long fought to protect. You had ascended to a level that put such trivial thoughts aside...or perhaps descended, but nonetheless, it is my fault.

I have destroyed you. Nothing is more dangerous than a man who has nothing to lose.

You are here. I should be trembling in fear, the aura of your presence seeps into every pore of my being, foretelling of my fate. I turn to face you.

Anger. And I embrace it. There is no point in moving to avoid my punishment...

I...cannot...

Finally, I lay broken and bleeding at your feet. I wait for the end.

A sob...I glance up at you. Your eyes are squeezed tightly shut, clear liquid brimming from your red-rimmed eyes. Huge chunks of ebony hair fall in your face and across your shoulders as you silently...cry?

"Why?"

The pain...I can feel it now. I think I always have, but just kept it buried deep down inside. My body aches, but nothing compared to my heart...You have been in pain for so long. Long before you said...

He turns away from me. "I...have become what I hate," he murmurs. In that one sentence is more self-loathing than I have ever heard and it breaks me. So much pain...much of it my fault. I struggle to sit up, which I achieve with much effort.

"I..." SAY it!

"Forgive me, Vegita...for everything." His back is to me. I sense him and his thoughts and what he is thinking...NO!

"I...I'm...I'm sorry." There, I said it. He startles slightly, but does not
turn. What else can I say? There is no penance for my crimes. None but what he wishes to give.

I do not care anymore, as long as he is not in pain. I had no right to...I have no right to...

He is crying again. I have NEVER seen him cry. I do not know what to do. I cannot comfort him...I can barely move. Besides, the time when I have the right to touch him and his purity has passed. Passed with the passing of his home. Now we are BOTH homeless.

"Ari, Vegita," he whispers, so very quietly.

My cry of shock and horror does not even reach my lips before he is gone. He...he...killed himself. I stare stupidly at his still form, a last trail of smoke rising from the small hole over his heart, his face a serene picture of innocence.

No...

Not like this...I gasp silently, the sound echoing off the metal walls of the capsule ship I chose as my escape vessel. I am all alone...

The tears fall unhindered. I do not care anymore. There is no one to see me, no one at all. I have done this to myself. Why? I sob. I know that I cannot go on living, yet at the same time, what difference does it make?

Because of what I have done, I will surely never see any of them again. Even HE, after what has happened, will be welcomed with open arms. I...I will not be so fortunate. I know where my destination will be.

I weep. I have never cried so pitifully before. Fate is cruel to allow you to realize your mistakes only after there is no hope of turning back...what have I done?

Kakarotto...Goku...

Strange, his earth name, even in my thoughts.

Forgive me. Onegai. Forgive me, I cry to the heavens in the silence of space. But there is no one to answer me...I am alone again and the pain is unbearable.

I cannot breathe...

I am falling.... I gasp aloud as my body hits something hard. Something soft clings to my body and I struggle with it wildly. It tears like so much tissue paper, littering the bed and the room--

Bed? I glance around me, taking in short gasps of air. My room. My bed. The walls that belong to my home, the one Bulma has left for me. I tremble with realization...and fear, and joy.

A dream. I run from my room. I must confirm that this is not some limbo world that has become my personal hell.

Sunlight streams through the windows. It is mid-morning and I hear laughter from the den. I am there in less than a second.

My son looks up at me suddenly, surprised by my speedy entrance. "Father?" he asked, concerned. His friend, that boy...Goten, looks up also, their game of cards momentarily forgotten. "Are you all right?"

I cannot speak, I am trembling so. I take several forced breaths before I answer. "Yes, I'm just fine. Just had a weird dream."

He smiles at me...so like his mother. "I warned you not to eat all that pizza last night, Father."

"Yeah, you ate even more than my dad!" Goten exclaimed.

"What about me?"

I...am almost afraid to turn, but know there is little choice. There, in the doorway, wiping sleep from his eyes. He is alive. And normal. And beautiful. And staring at me with the stupidest...

I smile at him. Not a smirk, but a true and genuine smile. He seems taken aback, blinking at me several times, like he is trying to clear an illusion from his vision. My smile widens and I can feel our sons gawking at me, but I do not care.

They are alive. He is alive. I am alive.

He smiles at me...there is much to make amends for.