01: Chapter 01
It was a hard question, one that Gohan knew couldn’t be answered in a minute, an hour, or even a day. It was a question that had to be thought about over and over again, until it made his head hurt to even think about that question.
The question was, of course: Should he be a scholar?
He’d always thought, ever since he was little, that he was meant to lead the life of a scholar, but recently things had changed, drastically changed. Now, he didn’t know who he was, what he was doing, or even why he was doing it.
Stupid life, if only it hadn’t changed, he would be his normal ignorant self, moving about in life as if he had no worries, as if he wasn’t extraordinarily unhappy with himself. No, some certain someone had to come along and ruin things, and now he was a walking contradiction that didn’t know what way was up or down.
Son Gohan, scholar or warrior? Friend or foe? Free to live a happy life or burdened with a life that was tedious at best?
At first it seemed so easy. His very self screamed to leave the books behind, ignore his angry mother and follow his heart to the person that seemed to cure all of his problems with such a simple smile.
But then, the other factors seemed to intrude, and he found himself leaning towards the life of a scholar.
Sure, a simple life of love would be wonderful but what about his obligations? What about his mother who had spent every moment of his waking life, preparing him for a dream that was never his to begin with? What about his father, who looked upon his eldest son with pride for doing something that he had never been able to do? What about his brother, for whom he was supposed to set an example?
What about…?
There were so many people that depended upon him to live this lonely, miserable life. So many people that had seen him as a scholar for as long as he had known them. So many people that couldn’t see past the facade he had assumed, to the haunted person that lived beneath.
He couldn’t let them down. He couldn’t turn away from what they had decided was to be his destiny but still…
On the other hand, there was the one person he couldn’t abandon, couldn’t let down, his love, the only reason for his happiness. The light in his darkness. He couldn’t leave him.
But his obligations….
His love….
Gohan closed his eyes and pulled on his hair in frustration as he pondered the question and of course, as he pored over the various problems this question presented him, he found that everything led him not to the answer but to another question.
Who did he really love?
His family? Or his lover?
His mother’s dream or his own?
Gohan sighed. He had to make a decision. Now, it couldn’t wait another moment, really because tonight his love wanted to tell everyone, that is, of course, if he took that path.
He thought. He pushed away all the obligations and thought of how he had felt over the years. He thought of the years of pain and sorrow as his mother had pushed him towards a dream that had never been his despite all his attempts to find his own way. He thought of the many years where he hadn’t seen his father; only the inside of a textbook.
He thought of the darkness in his soul that had finally been beaten into submission by his love. He thought of the past year of happiness that his love had brought him when he had finally come back from his long absence.
And, finally, he thought of his love.
And with that final shattering thought, Gohan left the table and made his way out the door. He would do it. No more textbooks, no more having to deal with Videl, who he knew hadn’t ever really liked him anyway, and, best of all, no more unhappiness.
He would give it up, all for his love: Torunksu.
Tonight everything was going to change.
And it was going to change for the best.
