Chapter 01: Prologue
“This romeo is bleeding But you can’t see his blood
It’s nothing but some feelings That this old dog kicked up
It’s been raining since you left me Now I’m drowning in the flood
You see I’ve always been a fighter But without you I give up “
I like the day it’s night that is always a pain in the ass. The dreams and thoughts can be unbearable sometimes. It can get so bad I never want to think or dream again. Maybe I should just find whatever flame keeps me going through all this and put it out so I can finally die and get it over with. If I could only die all of this… this hell… would finally end. Everything I want and need is beyond my reach while I still breathe. I mean if you actually place the chips on the desk what is there for me anyway? I am easily replaced. It’s not like I am really needed. There’s no one that would notice if I were to leave. Just dust in the wind you know? Oh look sunset yay. I better get going than it’s easier when I don’t sleep and wandering around and seeing things is better than sitting here in the dark brooding about life and death and which catagory I belong in. Besides no one recognizes me where I hang out anyway right? I hear the calls in the street women trying to attract men or other women depending on perferences. Men are doing the same thing. It’s kind of pitful really.
“Hey sweetie would you like to have a good time?”
Not particualarly. So I ignore her. Silly human they never really do see anything until it’s right on top of them and then it’s too late. Panic, stampedes, slaughter death. It’s an endless cycle right? Besides the distractions that she is offering are only momentary at best. I have been awake for three days and nights I take cat naps during the day but stay wide awake at night. Maybe I’m nocturnal, I probably look like a potential victim from a “Nightmare on Elmstreet” movie. You know the kids guzzling coffee eating anything with caffine trying not to sleep because they know there’s a psychotic killer waiting to slash them open? Or other brutual and creative deaths? I am brought out of my current musing when I feel a familiar energy. It’s like a siren song to a sailor or a flame to a moth heck steel to a magnet. I can’t resist it and I can’t ignore it. I curse wishing it was day, I would be stronger if it were day but it isn’t so I’m not. I can’t avoid what is going to happen I could never deny this man anything.
If you told me to cry for you I could
If you told me to die for you I would
Take a look at my face There’s no price I won’t pay
To say these words to you
And I will love you, baby – Always
And I’ll be there forever and a day – Always
I’ll be there till the stars don’t shine
Till the heavens burst and the words don’t rhyme
And I know when I die, you’ll be on my mind
And I’ll love you – Always
Like a thief in the night. (right I am sure that is an expression no one with half the brain that the great Kais of the universe would actually draw attention to themselves sneaking about like that.) I carefully find away into the building and into his apartment. I am grateful for the ki band that I wear, with it I am harder to sense but his mental or physical guards will still know me and allow me near him. I can barely hold in my gasp as I enter the room.
I am the same place as an angel. The light from the window washes over him almost causing a glow. He is beautiful more than I could imagine him in my dreams. I slowly move towards him I don’t belong in the same room with such a beautiful creature. the blood on my hands, the smell of death and destruction on me, and the memories of failure tell me so. So beautiful so near and yet I am unworthy. I feel so broken and empty I want to be healed. I want him to heal me like has before.
Now your pictures that you left behind
Are just memories of a different life
Some that made us laugh, some that made us cry
One that made you have to say goodbye
What I’d give to run my fingers through your hair
To touch your lips, to hold you near
When you say your prayers try to understand
I’ve made mistakes, I’m just a man
My hand touches his face but he doesn’t wake. Yet just his presence can make me smile. I would do anything for him no matter where I am. I have missed him, his laugh, his words of advice. Just his open acceptance of me like there was nothing I could do wrong as far as he was concerned. The way he stood by me without holding me back. The way he was there when I needed him but he wouldn’t interfere unless it was necessary. He knew I would insist on doing certain things myself Gods did I love him for it. I could get hurt and he didn’t say anything he would just clean and patch me up. Pretending not to see me cry sometimes when the pain overwheming knowing I would be embarrassed. He my feelings as a weakness and made sure that I knew it. Pleasant memories go through my mind as I watch him sleep. His breathing brings me back to the present I know he is asleep but I can’t help but feel on a subconsious level he is aware of my presence. I should leave as peaceful as this place is and as horny as he makes me; it would probably be a bad idea to stay. As I wrestle with my decison to stay or leave his mouth opens. I can’t help but think how good it would be to taste that mouth and enjoy those lips. ‘Why not?’ I wonder ‘What harm can one kiss possibly do?’ After all this isn’t Sleeping Beauty or Snow White where a kiss will right all wrongs or break a spell and that sort of bullshit. I close my eyes and kiss him. relishing his taste. As far as I am concerned he tastes like everything worth tasting. If I didn’t know that he was still sound asleep I would say that he was responding to my kiss. But ofcourse that’s not going to happen. Because such a beautiful creature is out of my reach. Other thoughts try to voice their opinions on this matter but I shove them away and concentrate only on the demigod before me. He is perfection as far as I am concerned. I remember some time ago catching glimpse of him in the daylight in baggy clothes. I can’t help wondering why he would hide under all that stuff. I draw the curtain mostly shut so the light can still fall on him but I want privacy. This beautiful creature belongs to me not those pathetic ceatures outside that don’t appreicate what they have in their midst.
Come on it should be like keeping a phenoix in your chicken coop or gems in a box with tacky garbage that should’ve been tossed ages ago. I decide to steal another taste of heaven. Oh dear Kami, just kissing him is more intoxicating than the alcoholic haze I’ve been keeping myself in to deal with the memories and thoughts I would rather forget. He moans into my kiss his body responding to my touch. I am almost surprised he he hasn’t awakened but I’m relieved he hasn’t I couldn’t handle rejection tonight. I want to heal, to find salvation, and I know I have found it when I feel the rush of fire go through me. Allowing me to feel more alive than I have felt in years. It is no question now this lovely creature can save me. But first I need to prove to him how much I need him. Slowly my hands remove the sheets covering him so I can take in his full beauty. (Bless him he’s sleeping in just his underwear.) I take the hand that is holding mine and and kiss the palm and then each individual finger leaving the center one for last I kiss it then lick it, finally I take it in my mouth and begin slowly playing with it. My teeth gently grazing it as I make love to his finger. I’m wishing I had something longer and harder in my mouth but this will do for a start. From the sounds he is making I would say he’s not opposed to what I am doing to him.
The gasps he is making sound almost pleading. “Sa, Sa” I comfort him. “It’s going to be alright. And it will get better I promise.” I stroke his face knowing I shouldn’t talk to him but I can’t help it. I need him so much. His wish is my command. Gently I caress his skin it feels wonderful and almost like silk to my touch. Has it really been so long? Or maybe it’s just his touch that does this too me. I need him but I can wait, longer just holding him and touching him is enough to sate me this time. I can’t get too needy, or I’ll just screw him and get it over with. Then he will definately wake up and he would probably be disgusted. I know it sounds weird but I just can’t stand the thought that he could feel that way about me. The thought is like a searing knife going straight through my heart and agonizingly twisting. To have the one person left that can save me from my personal HELL hate and despise me.
Well, there ain’t no luck in these loaded dice
But baby if you give me just one more try
We can pack up our old dreams and our old lives
We’ll find a place where the sun still shines
But I am not going to let this opportunity to be with the man I’ve loved forever and a day get away from me that is for sure. I gently work my magic on him, making him feel as good as I can. And as I plan a friend of his makes an appearance not wanting to be left out of the fun. Well, we can’t leave him out in the cold can we? I mean it wouldn’t be polite. So I give him so attention as well and he seems to appriecate it as I lick nibble and suck him. Okay Okay I am using bad puns and all I know. Fine I sucked and pleasured his cock until he moaned so loudly that I was afraid he’d wake up himself and the neighbors in the pleasure of his orgasam everyone happy now? And I will tell you it tasted great to do that especially when he finally released in my mouth. After that I cleaned him up carefully and put the underwear back on. Relieved he didn’t wake up during all the fun we had, and I laid there and allowed him to hold me. I just needed that close ness now. Pathetic as it sounds, I was happier that I had been in a long time. Heck I may able to catch some shut eye while he holds me as long as I wake up and leave before he wakes up and finds me.
I love you Koi and I’m yours now and always
